When to use, sou, sou ka, honto da, honto ni?

[yukio_michael]

Honto ni is pretty easy I suppose, close to "really?", but when I'm speaking Japanese with someone, I always get mixed up when to use, something like, sou sou sou..., nodding like, aah, it's like that I see... sou desu..., honto da, sou da... and last but not least, sou ka, whose usage escapes me now.

Can anyone help me sort these methods of agreeing and afirming out? Thanks!

[Apple Bomb]

I will give this a go. Let's see if I'm right.

Sou ka is just kind of like "I see.." unless you say it with rising intonation like a question, in which case it becomes "really?" as if you don't believe what the other person is saying.

Sou sou sou is pretty much the same as constantly interjecting "un"s, meaning that you're following the conversation like a true nihonjin. Just like "right, right...right.."

Sou desu/sou da would be like "that's right." Probably used to confirm whatever the person said regarding something you know more about.

Hontou da would be like "yes, really."

Hountou ni? is "really?"

[euske]

I think Apple bomb hit it.

[yukio_michael]

Thanks Applebomb... I have a tendency to use 'gomen' when someone tells me some bad news, which I get corrected for, of course, in English, saying "sorry" means you are "sorry to hear that...", but just now, I'm told, you should use sou ka... in that situation.

Thanks again.

[Mike Cash]

Thanks Applebomb... I have a tendency to use 'gomen' when someone tells me some bad news, which I get corrected for, of course, in English, saying "sorry" means you are "sorry to hear that...", but just now, I'm told, you should use sou ka... in that situation.


Actually, something including "zannen desu" or "ki no doku desu" would be more situation-specific for that. I have to dash off to work, but I'm sure someone will expand upon that for you by the time I get home again.

[undrentide]

Thanks Applebomb... I have a tendency to use 'gomen' when someone tells me some bad news, which I get corrected for, of course, in English, saying "sorry" means you are "sorry to hear that...", but just now, I'm told, you should use sou ka... in that situation.
Thanks again.
"Gomen" is used only for apologies.
If someone tells you bad news, to express sympathy you can say
- sorewa taihen deshita ne (it must be tough on you)
- okinodoku ni... (I feel sorry for you)
- zannen desune (you must be disappointed)
just for example.

Of course, souka... (or more politely, sou deshitaka...) is also good when you don't know what to say. :)

[Elizabeth]

"Gomen" is used only for apologies.
If someone tells you bad news, to express sympathy you can say
- sorewa taihen deshita ne (it must be tough on you)
- okinodoku ni... (I feel sorry for you)
- zannen desune (you must be disappointed)
just for example.
Of course, souka... (or more politely, sou deshitaka...) is also good when you don't know what to say. :)
May (can) you also use "sore wa ikemasen ne" ? or is that only when someone is ill ? 「それはいけませんね」はすこし改まった感じがするの でしょうか？
そういう表現は病気などの場合に使うだけですか？:sou ka:

[yukio_michael]

Thanks for the explanations and additions everyone!

[undrentide]

May (can) you also use "sore wa ikemasen ne" ? or is that only when someone is ill ? 「それはいけませんね」はすこし改まった感じがするの でしょうか？
そういう表現は病気などの場合に使うだけですか？:sou ka:

It's my personal feeling, "sore wa ikemasen ne" is a kind of mild scolding in a very polite way, which might be followed by something like "motto karada wo daiji ni shinaito" (you should take care of yourself more). Yes, I think it is mostly used when someone (especially the speaker) is ill.

「それはいけませんね」というのはかなり改まった表現 だと思います。
相手（もしくは相手に近い人）の病気などに対して使う ことがほとんどではないでしょうか。
たとえば「風邪をひきました」と言ったことに対して「 それはいけませんね」というときには
「もっと健康に気をつけてくださいね」とか「からだを 大事にしないとだめですよ」という、
相手を思いやって注意を促す気持ちが背後にあると思い ます。

[Elizabeth]

It's my personal feeling, "sore wa ikemasen ne" is a kind of mild scolding in a very polite way, which might be followed by something like "motto karada wo daiji ni shinaito" (you should take care of yourself more). Yes, I think it is mostly used when someone (especially the speaker) is ill.
「それはいけませんね」というのはかなり改まった表現 だと思います。
相手（もしくは相手に近い人）の病気などに対して使う ことがほとんどではないでしょうか。
たとえば「風邪をひきました」と言ったことに対して「 それはいけませんね」というときには
「もっと健康に気をつけてくださいね」とか「からだを 大事にしないとだめですよ」という、
相手を思いやって注意を促す気持ちが背後にあると思い ます。
わかりました。ありがとうございます。
確かに、この表現はうまくやくせいないのですが、英語 での「That won't do, that won't
pass, you must not let that continue]...みたいな感じではないでしょうね。
「何か変えたほうがいい」ということですね。

しかし 勉強しているとき、私も健康についてあまり心配しませ んよ。:blush:

Another phrase for responding to unfortunate news from a third party is
"kawai sou" or "I feel sorry...about that" 　

[yukio_michael]

Elizabeth, isn't kawaisou* a coloquialism of kowai?

*this I have read has lead people to (unfortunately, hilariously--- etc), say, kawaisou （as you would say, oishisou, etc）　when they mean 可愛いね/な　。。。

[Elizabeth]

Elizabeth, isn't kawaisou* a coloquialism of kowai?
*this I have read has lead people to (unfortunately, hilariously--- etc), say, kawaisou （as you would say, oishisou, etc）　when they mean 可愛いね/な　。。。
No kawaisou is a completely distinct kanji compound with the meaning "pitiful," or "poor thing." Much more meaningful than kawaiisou. :bluush: