I just talked to a Japanese person...

[512kb]

Well, I finally talked to a Japanese person today for the first time ever. She's a Junior exchange student from Japan, first name Yukina. This whole year, I've been...let's see...too "intimidated" to talk to her, until today.

I overheard Yukina and someone else (Bさん) talking about Japan, and Bさん said he was thinking about visiting there. I blurt out "Japan is a really cool place". Bさん said something like "Yeah...". Anyway, I asked Yukina 「あなたは日本人ですか。」(Are you Japanese?) Jeez, what a stupid thing to say... She said yes, and I said 「私は日本語がすこしわかります。」 (I understand a little Japanese.) She smiled and said "That's nice" but you could tell she was saying it like "...that's nice -_- ".

I chuckled, and looked at my MP3 player which I was holding at the time, and realized my hands were shaking like crazy. How odd. If that's culture shock, then I just got a huge dose of it. :souka:

Did anyone else have any similar experiences?

[Glenn]

Being afraid to talk to girls? Of course! Who hasn't? Looking like an idiot in front of a girl I like (or at least feeling that way)? Yup, done that one too. But I'm pretty sure everyone's been there as well.

[Hyokano]

Are you intimidated because you don't have confidence in your Japanese, or because she was a she? I've had that experience with a lot of girls, or for someone whom I've never talked to, but there's really nothing to be affraid of. Just think of it backwards... What's the worst that could happen by simply talking to someone for the first time? It's an inevitable process when meeting someone, and everyone has to go through it to get know someone else. I'm sure Yukina will like you more if you just spoke to her like you would anyone else. If she understands English, she'll probably prefer that to Japanese in a conversation, other wise there's no point in her participating in an exchange program. She's there to learn about your culture, so expose her to it!! Use Japanese AFTER you get to know her. That'll lessen the communication calamity in the introductional steps, and she'll understand you as who you are.

[512kb]

Thanks for your replies. It's not because Yukina is just simply a girl, it's the fact that she's Japanese, I have a major fascination with Japanese culture, and like I said before, I've never talked to a Japanese person before... So it was just a scary feeling, probably thinking of what she'd think of me.

I never thought about what you said, Hyokano. She participated in an exchange program for a reason... maybe I could be that reason n_n (just kidding). She's pretty fluent in English, so I'll talk to her in English from now on... jeez, it took me this long to say something to her and it was a bad move. '_'

I appreciate the help so far. :)

[Gaijinian]

I know how you feel; I used to be very nervious when talking to Japanese people in Japanese, but I've managed to get over it. Now I'm pretty confident in my abiltiy, so I don't really have to worry about what others think. Plus, since Japanese do not expect "gaijin" to be able to speak Japanese, you can impress many with just a little bit of knowalage.

I suggest you talk to her in a more personal setting, instead of interupting another's conversation to do so. Anyway, good luck... I mean, ganbatte kudasai ne!

[yukio_michael]

Think about it this way. You know nothing aobut this girl, and she knows you know nothing about her because you two have not spoken much at all. If you express to her overtly your fascination with the fact that she is Japanese, she may feel that you are looking at her in a superficial, or perhaps even fetishi-istic way... it may not make her feel comfortable.

Try to find things that you two can do together that don't have anything to do with Japanese, Japan... Then sometimes later, mention if she could help you with a grammar question or two...

The thing is that you should not go through life thinking "I want to meet a Japanese girl...". No girl wants to be hunted. Girls just want to have fun.

[ghettocities]

That reminds me of the good old days... Enjoy every moment a Japanese person tells you that your Japanese is great because once your Japanese is great nobody will mention it to you. I'm not kidding!

Josh

[Kara_Nari]

Hmm thats really interesting.
I havent been shy using Japanese or Korean to Japanese and Koreans, however if there is a fellow foreigner around who can speak better than me... haha I get really shy, and self concious.
Why is that?
Even my Korean friends that speak English.... I still talk to them in Korean mostly.

[mad pierrot]

That reminds me of the good old days... Enjoy every moment a Japanese person tells you that your Japanese is great because once your Japanese is great nobody will mention it to you. I'm not kidding!

"Domo Arigatou."


"EEEEHHHHH????? Nihongo SUGOKU joozu desuyo!"


:p

[DoctorP]

No girl wants to be hunted. Girls just want to have fun.


You are kidding right? Do you really believe that girls/women do not want to be hunted? They totally want you to think you are hunting them...that is when they go in for the kill and rope you for life! It is then and only then that you realize that you were the prey and they were the hunter!:blush:

[yukio_michael]

You are kidding right? Do you really believe that girls/women do not want to be hunted? They totally want you to think you are hunting them...that is when they go in for the kill and rope you for life! It is then and only then that you realize that you were the prey and they were the hunter!:blush:Girls like to be chased! I don't know a lot of women who like to be profiled though, like the hunter searching for the elusive Asian Woman to bag bring home and make his trophy-girlfriend.

This seems like one of those heavy-handed yukio_michael responses, it's not--- I'm just saying that the OP should try to interact w/ this girl on a personal level first, and a Japanese level much later...

[Carlson]

No girl wants to be hunted. Girls just want to have fun.
yes this mindset mixed with beer makes for never a dull time.

[Glenn]

"Domo Arigatou."
"EEEEHHHHH????? Nihongo SUGOKU joozu desuyo!"
:p

Or even just konnichiwa will get you that response from some people.

[yukio_michael]

yes this mindset mixed with beer makes for never a dull time.I see you have exposed my secret to dating. ;)

[Dutch Baka]

Or even just konnichiwa will get you that response from some people.

Ne! I have this on my work to, some of them known I have a Japanese wife, but most of them do not know that yet, so when I hold the door open for them, and say doitasthimaste they look at me with this strange look and ask me this yes haha, I feel a bit shy then, so most of the time I just talk English to them :blush:

exactly 3 weeks to go until I will departure to Japan, bye bye shyness :p

[nurizeko]

Bah, nothing like having a Japanese partner to kill of the shyness, you really learn how to have a good fight in Japanese! :p .

Kidding, we fight in English!. :souka:

As other have said, try and talk to her as a normal everyday girl from your area, and be friends, and just try and avoid the japan thing, if she thinks you just like her because she's Japanese then she wont be interested and if you just want to talk to her because she is Japanese then you'll never make anything more the a passing "oh, hi" kinda friendship.

japanese people are infinitely more interesting when you get to know them as people rather then nationality.

As a bit of a gamer on my free time sometimes i'll come across the odd japanese/japanese origin person who speaks English, in a server, and maybe get hounded by some Yugioh fans, and when we talk they ussually mention the one thing that bothers them is some folk can be all over them for their natinoality and its a bit annoying when, just like me and others, he's just there to enjoy some free time gaming and chatting.

Just talk to her like any normal person, and try and be friends, and forget the "OMFG she's japanese!" feeling, if you can beat that then you'll earn a good friend and still get to learn about japan in the process.

:cool: Good luck!.

[Rich303]

japanese people are infinitely more interesting when you get to know them as people rather then nationality.



This is why I think I have been fortunate with my job.(nearly all my colleagues are Japanese)
It has allowed me to get past that curiosity stage.

P.S Nurizeko, have I p*ssed you off ? I couldn't PM you the other day (and it was quite a funny one)

[nurizeko]

Dont see why know, maybe it was a forum glitch :S, you've never so much as even remotely made me bothered, my feelings about you at the least have been content. :cool:

[nurizeko]

Dont see why know, maybe it was a forum glitch :S, you've never so much as even remotely made me bothered, my feelings about you at the least have been content. :cool:

Not^.


Um....wheres the edit button? im sure we had one..... :worried:

[Rich303]

Not^.
Um....wheres the edit button? im sure we had one..... :worried:

Now I'm even more confused !

[Carlson]

I see you have exposed my secret to dating. ;)

heh dont worry ive know about this 1 all to well.

[leonmarino]

After finishing Japanese elementary school over here in Holland I kind of lost contact with Japanese people and I was always happy being able to talk to Japanese people. Happy to be able to speak the language I love keeping in touch with my Japanese side..

When I worked as a liquor store manager I sometimes had the pleasure of having Japanese customers, as the shop was in a region of the city with relatively many Japanese people. When I found out someone was Japanese (through their broken English or head-nodding) I offered them to help them in Japanese if they wished so. Many of them were outright shocked that someone who doesn't look Japanese to them speaked Japanese, and often these exaggerated reactions made me nervous! :relief: I also sensed that some people stayed away from my store after I talked Japanese to them, but this could be a false observation (maybe they moved back to Japan or whatever).

After a while I decided not to speak Japanese anymore to the Japanese customers that were new to me, as I was getting tired of the shocking reactions and I felt I was disturbing their personal peace by talking to them in "their" language.

[yukio_michael]

originally, to the OP (and anyone else): A good way to meet Japanese people whom don't mind that you'd like to speak their language with them is to go to a meeting of your local Japanese language group, if your city has one...

People from Japan meet there to speak to other people learning Japanese, other Japanese, and to practice their English... and the non-Japanese natives go to practice their Japanese, and meet people from Japan.

It works out for everyone, because everyone is there for approximately the same thing. Look into it, if it's available to you.

[Buckethead]

The first time I talked to a Japanese girl was when she called my mobile lol - I wasnt nervous and we ended up talking for 2 hours that first time :O - now we are cool friends, im just glad she understood my accent :P

[Mars Man]

Oh yes...I have gone through this many times before, not only to Japanese people though. I never will forget one time in college back in good ole Arizona. I always spoke to the Japanese and some other foreign students (I've basically never had problems with being friendly) but this one Japanese girl, when she saw me walking towards the co-ed dorm, suddenly grabbed the guy she had been walking with. It was both shocking and humorous at the same time. After about a minute or two, I just couldn't help from laughing until tears came up. (not to insinuate sadness--but hard laughter)

She ended up marrying that guy, and I wonder what happened to them.

Anyway, never be afraid to speak out, be friendly--even if you do put your foot in your mouth from time to time. . .

"girls just want to have fun" and the comments about that--I enjoyed them all. Just keep in mind that there are for more than not Japanese girls who just want to have fun until they are married and have children. Oh they still want to have fun, of course, don't get me wrong, it's just that they want to have fun with the children--even if their husband isn't an only-at-home-on-Sundays salaryman.

[maushan3]

512kb, I thought Caliornia was the state with more Asian people. U.S. citizens or not... It just surprises me that it was the first time in your life that you have ever talked to a Japanese person. But California is huge and I may be mistaken by saying that all of Cali has Asian people living there.

Mauricio

[mika_r]

i had a similar experience.
my neighbor is japanese (I live in a building with two departments per floor, he lives in front of me) and i was like all the time asking my friends from the building things about him, (they even give me his newspaper xDDDDDD) and then one day i was with him in the same elevator and he said "good morning" and i was like shocked and said nothing back xD! i was kind of rude... :souka:

[512kb]

Wow! I made this thread in May of 2006, and here I visit Jref out of the blue just to see it on the front page. Ah well, 9 months ago I had a chance of meeting a nice, new friend but Yukina is now just a vague memory. (I wanted to talk to her more in English, but I never got around to it. How sheepish.) I shall right a song about it.

512kb, I thought Caliornia was the state with more Asian people. U.S. citizens or not... It just surprises me that it was the first time in your life that you have ever talked to a Japanese person. But California is huge and I may be mistaken by saying that all of Cali has Asian people living there.
Mauricio
You're correct Mauricio, but in the area I live in (although am moving very soon) there is a very small amount of Asians. Now that I think about it, I only seem them once in a great while. There are very little Chinese people, and even less Japanese.

i had a similar experience.
my neighbor is japanese (I live in a building with two departments per floor, he lives in front of me) and i was like all the time asking my friends from the building things about him, (they even give me his newspaper xDDDDDD) and then one day i was with him in the same elevator and he said "good morning" and i was like shocked and said nothing back xD! i was kind of rude... :souka:
It's funny how the 'spur of the moment' can get the best of us. Hopefully later on you got to talk to him?

P.S. - Hello everyone! Even though no one probably remembers me, I miss you guys :)