Who really loves Japan and who doesnt?

[ghettocities]

I was talking to an old friend recently. He (as far as I knew) had the similar obsession/love with Japan but now in an e-mail that he wrote to me he brought up that he had had enough.

Had enough? I thought to myself.

The story goes he had always wanted to go to Japan since he was a kid, just like me and so we right then and there had grounds for friendship when we first met. He worked day and night, went to college, got all his degrees (and whatnot,) and as lady luck would have it all his efforts paid off, he was offered/hired by a large company in Japan which he then flew to Japan to work for. He mentioned, "It's my dream job... everything is perfect." and I'd always smile when I heard stories about how great everything was, how it was everything he had ever dreamed of having.. but then, in this e-mail that I mentioned a moment ago he said he had had enough. He said that he was no longer interested in Japan, being in Japan, being a part of Japan, working for Japan and seeing Japan everyday.

So I wondered.... I love Japan. Do I really?

Will there be a day in which I've grown tired of Japan?
Will my love for Japan turn into hate for Japan?
Is it possible for me to keep a healthy "relationship" with Japan for the rest of my life?


I can't imagine my life without Japan. I really love Japan. Sure I'm sort of obsessed with it, but it's attached to my love for everything Japan and I'm afraid to think of it changing one day and the possibility that I might hate it.


Great minds think alike and so I wanted to ask anyone willing to offer an answer.. The question I want to ask is:

Will you ever get tired of Japan? And move on to something else?

My answer is that I won't. Never in a million years.

Josh

[RockLee]

I won't either, sure Japan has it's own problems like every other country does. But not once in the years I'm involved with Japan I have tought "Oh come on, I don't wanna hear a word about it anymore".

[leonmarino]

Never say never, that's what I think. "I'll never get tired of.." who knows?

For me personally, I had been fascinated with Japan for a long, long time. I am half-Japanese, and I was raised with the idea that Japan is the greatest country on earth. Some Japanese friends of mine have said that I was more Japanese than them, that I had more ”愛国心” (patriotism) and ”大和魂” (the Japanese spirit) than many of the locals.

Anyways, a trip to Japan last year for the first time in 11 years had my eyes openend.. (I already told this story a few times in other threads, sorry if I'm boring some readers :relief: ) Japan is also "just a country", and sure it has some unique, positive things that I really appreciate, but it also has some major issues concerning their view on foreigners and lack of open-mindedness.. My obsession for Japan has crumbled and has made way for a more balanced, critical view on the land of the rising sun.

[Mike Cash]

It's easy for you to retain your favorable opinion of Japan. You don't live here.

[Mikawa Ossan]

The trick is when, as leonmarino said, Japan becomes "just a country" in your mind. At that point, when Japan is no longer "special" but just "is", how do you feel about it?

[DoctorP]

exactly ghettocities...you don't live here full time, so you will probably not grow tired of it. People who only come to visit will most likely not have it wear on them.

[RockLee]

Well, I guess you can only speak for yourself right? Not everyone gets annoyed by living a few years in Japan. :) I guess the stereotype works in both ways.

[leonmarino]

It's easy for you to retain your favorable opinion of Japan. You don't live here.
exactly ghettocities...you don't live here full time, so you will probably not grow tired of it. People who only come to visit will most likely not have it wear on them.
My brother has been living in Japan for the past two years almost. Although we never spoke explicitly about it, I think he had the same admiration for Japan as I did. But after almost two years of hard labour, a lot of stress, Japanese bureaucracy and discrimination in various level of society, he often longs for the free-mindedness of Holland.
Not to say he has grown tired of Japan as a whole; he stills loves the food and culture, and most of the people who are genuinely kind and caring. But I guess experience makes you more critical.
The trick is when, as leonmarino said, Japan becomes "just a country" in your mind. At that point, when Japan is no longer "special" but just "is", how do you feel about it?
I still love Japan, and I think the country has a lot of positive aspect like overall politeness, less criminality (on the surface at least) and a deep sense of cultural heritage. But the thought of Japan as some kind of "promised land" is not there anymore; I doubt if I can reside there permanently and be happy.

[crawling]

i love japan, but i have to confess that there was a time i didn't really thought about japan and wasn't so interest in japan anymore, but the love still was there only that i had other thoughts in my mind and stuff..and since a few month this love grows and grows again :bravo: maybe your friend will change his mind again, i dunno..

[DoctorP]

Well, I guess you can only speak for yourself right? Not everyone gets annoyed by living a few years in Japan. :) I guess the stereotype works in both ways.


Don't read into that statement! I'm fine here. I was just saying that someone who only visits is not likely to burn out. Many people who come here for the long haul burn out after about 2-3 years (but not everyone!).

[Uncle Frank]

After two years, I was homesick for Maine. After the first year and a half, I was making plans to live in Japan forever. I felt much more at home in Japan then in the US; thought I would never grow tired of it. For some reason, the 2 year mark made me notice the things I missed from back in Maine: my family& friends, guns&hunting, American food, being able to read everything around me(magazines&newspapers), watching TV shows & movies without reading subtitles and understanding everything said, etc. . Nothing major really, but all the little things seem to gang up on me at once and made me want to go back to the states. It could not of been too bad in Japan since I still miss it after 35 years away. I think overall, my life has been easier living here in Maine and I made the right decision to leave Japan when I did.

Uncle Frank

:souka:

[nice gaijin]

What's the point of loving something incapable of returning your feelings? Sounds more like an unhealthy attachment than a relationship of any kind. I'd sooner call these emotions a "long term infatuation" than "love." To use the latter to describe one's feelings towards any inanimate object is to cheapen the word.

Will I ever tire of Japan? I'm not sure what this entails. Will I replace my cautious optimism with melodramatic cynicism? Will I build up resentment for those little things I used to think were cute or quirky? Will I have a big fight in Japan and never see it again? Perhaps I'm taking the "relationship" metaphor a bit too far. All I know is that after spending more time in Japan my opinion will certainly change. How it will change I do not purport to know.

[RockLee]

watching TV shows & movies without reading subtitles and understanding everything said, etc. .That's the most frustrating thing that can happen to somebody. And in some cases the reason they don't like Japan anymore. Like MikeCash and some people said, you'd have to be forcefed Japanese to survive.

[ghettocities]

It's easy for you to retain your favorable opinion of Japan. You don't live here.
I've never hated America or being in America (and every day it's the same thing,) so I don't see how living in Japan, working in Japan and seeing Japan every day would make me lose interest in it (Japan.)


That's what I can't figure out. It seems like the people who lose interest in Japan blame it on living in Japan etc.etc. when maybe it's the person's living conditions and not so much Japan and like maybe it's the whole 'see a lemon and get the sweet taste in your mouth' or like 'there are presents at Christmas time' type of mental associations people make with themselves.



All I know is I'll never lose interest in Japan.


Josh

[leonmarino]

when maybe it's the person's living conditions and not so much Japan and like maybe it's the whole 'see a lemon and get the sweet taste in your mouth' or like 'there are presents at Christmas time' type of mental associations people make with themselves.
I honestly do not understand what you're saying here..

All I know is I'll never lose interest in Japan.
Well what can I say? I'm happy for you Josh. There this Dutch saying though: "He who never changes his opinion has rarely learned a thing". But I guess everyone has to find that out on his own.

[Mike Cash]

I've never hated America or being in America (and every day it's the same thing,) so I don't see how living in Japan, working in Japan and seeing Japan every day would make me lose interest in it (Japan.)


You've misinterpreted my post.

I didn't mean that living here automatically leads to losing interest or becoming embittered. I meant that not living here prevents you from exposure to the things which could lead to that.

[Mike Cash]

Well, I guess you can only speak for yourself right? Not everyone gets annoyed by living a few years in Japan.

Actually, I would say that everyone does get annoyed by living here a few years. They'd have to be blissfully ignorant and live in an amazing coccoon not to.

It's more a question of how much they get annoyed and how well they handle being annoyed.

[ArmandV]

As much as I enjoyed my visits to Japan, they are only just that: visits. I am looking forward to going back.

That said, I can see how non-Japanese can get annoyed with the country. There are little niggling things like "no-gaijin" bars, etc. But as Mike said, it is how you handle the annoyances that matters.

I tend to let things roll off like "water off a duck's back."

[Elizabeth]

Actually, I would say that everyone does get annoyed by living here a few years. They'd have to be blissfully ignorant and live in an amazing coccoon not to.
It's more a question of how much they get annoyed and how well they handle being annoyed.
I actually tended to handle the negative aspects much worse when I first began visiting and in the initial stages of a home stay than I do now by returning every couple months. Living in a foreign country is no different than any other long-term relationship -- after a few years of being with someone they become more like a member of the family and less lover or boy/girl friend' like. Home is likewise anywhere a foreigner naturally adjusts and acclimates after a period of months or years, it doesn't follow in any way that Japan is any less "special" or "unique" than the US with any more or fewer problems. As everyone has alluded to, the key is simply to try and stay focused on what attracted you to the place to begin with and have the maturity to come to terms with the less attractive underside.

[Kinsao]

If you go to live in Japan, after some time you may no longer "love" it (because when you live somewhere, you see the bad things as well as the good things).

But there is no reason to suppose you'll then go to the opposite extreme and hate it... or even find everything about it uninteresting. More likely it will just become more ordinary to you, as you get used to living there. And of course, you might feel a little homesick for some familiar things.

I think you'd have to be pretty cynical, or just a very boring and grumpy person, to get entirely fed up with a country. Every country in the world has some good things and some bad things about it. :hey:

I think as long as you're prepared for the shine to wear off a bit (being no longer "infatuated"), you will have a realistic and balanced view and feelings. I think (and these are just my opinions) that it's people who go with a too-rosy view, who then get disillusioned and come to "hate" Japan where they used to love it.

But anyway, your friend doesn't hate it - he just doesn't find it so interesting any more, which is natural considering it's his everyday life. It's like getting a new job - it seems interesting at first, but a year later it's the daily grind again.

[Mike Cash]

As you suspect, Kinsao, the swing from obsession/fatuation with Japan to embitterment/hatred/disillusionment after having lived here two or three years is a very common phenomenon. But even the people who come with a more level-headed view of the place aren't immune to it.

[Tollen]

that it's people who go with a too-rosy view, who then get disillusioned and come to "hate" Japan where they used to love it.
But anyway, your friend doesn't hate it - he just doesn't find it so interesting any more, which is natural considering it's his everyday life. It's like getting a new job - it seems interesting at first, but a year later it's the daily grind again.

i agree... if you don't live there and have japan in your face 24/7 then you only get a view through rose-tinted glasses... you see what good points people have enthused to you and what you want to see... i guess its the same with anything you want so much... i mean i REALLY wanna go to japan even though I never have before but I understand that that'll wane and become a feeling less strong... it doesn't mean that I won't stil prefer living there lol nowhere's perfect but i hope to think that I won't still just focus on the positives and think it's amazing but form a realistic opinion... aaaanyways yeah i think the people that end up hating a place like that tht they've moved to are more-likely to be the ones that dont realize all this

[xerxes99]

I've only lived here 7 months, so right now I'm in the "I love Japan and want to stay here forever" stage. I'm aware that very well may change eventually. Obviously there are things that bug me, but I'm not really bothered by the little things anymore.

[DoctorP]

I've never hated America or being in America (and every day it's the same thing,) so I don't see how living in Japan, working in Japan and seeing Japan every day would make me lose interest in it (Japan.)
Josh


Why would you hate America? You were born there and grew up there and understand how things operate and can communicate fully (I'm assuming). Your comments make absolutely no sense!

[Elizabeth]

Why would you hate America? You were born there and grew up there and understand how things operate and can communicate fully (I'm assuming). Your comments make absolutely no sense!
Sometimes I even get a little bored being in a monocultural society and yearn for the huge variety America has to offer both in terms of the people and physical landscape. It has nothing to do with how well I can communicate, really, although that undeniably helps...doesn't mean I hate the country, either, I just get tired of being around Japanese and only Japanese day in and out...there may even be natives out there somewhere that feel the same way. :p

[jieshi]

I've lived in Japan for 1 year already and now returned home. There is no way my love for Japan will ever die! Japan has become my adopted home country and I know that very soon I will move there again, probably for life.

[leonmarino]

My brother in Japan sent me this interesting view on what gaijins go through in Japan.. I have not lived in Japan myself, but I'm curious to what people think of this:

The 5 stages of understanding, or coping rather,
with Japan are denial, anger, bargaining,
depression, and acceptance.

1. Denial:
We cannot fathom that what we see is real. We
think that there must be some underlying level of
sophisticated thinking in the corporate culture
that we are unable to grasp. We think that we are
deficient in some way. We deny that so many stupid
people in such a concentration is possible. We
believe that this all must be some kind of bad
dream. We are coy about asking, "Why? "

2. Anger:
We lose patience with the massive waste of time,
nonsensical formalities and foolish nonsense. We
start to learn the language better so we can get
into deeper conversations at a comparable level.
We start to challenge people for explanations and
soon discover that there are no rational reasons.

3. Bargaining:
OK... We decide that if we try to be even more
open-minded, read more, search out someone
intelligent to help us understand better, we'll
finally grasp the logic and be become a better
person in the long run. You try to be more
'Japanese'.

4. Depression:
It didn't work. As hard as we tried, we are unable
to find any form of common sense that fits in the
rational world. The higher our language
proficiency, the more depressed we become as we
realize that we haven't learned anything useful
from anyone here that will help us in our lives or
enlighten us. Other than technical details, we
discover that we already knew everything anyone
tells us about people, management and business in
general.

5. Acceptance :
Unless you are the president, you will not change
a thing. You will not make any impact at all on
anyone's thought process. Don't even waste your
time thinking about it. Decide what your
acceptable crap-to-salary ratio is and revel in
your gaijinness. Live your life with the values
that are your culture.

"When in Rome, do as the Romans" is fine... when
you're in Rome. This isn't Rome.

[Mike Cash]

I've always said that the day this place makes sense to you is the day to pack up and go home.

[Mikawa Ossan]

Why would you hate America? You were born there and grew up there and understand how things operate and can communicate fully (I'm assuming). Your comments make absolutely no sense!
I think that was exactly his point. He is trying to point out that just by being in America hasn't made him dislike it, so why should his mere (extended) presence in Japan be any different.

I must be the only one who never faced culture shock in Japan. But that's because I faced it when I still lived in America. Before I came to reside permanently in Japan, I had a Japanese roommate who couldn't care less about learning English and fitting in in America. That was were I went through all the stages of culture shock, before I even got on the plane! hahaha

[changedonrequest]

Personally I don't consciously think of myself as "living" in Japan, even though I do. Do you follow what I am saying? I just see myself living somewhere other than my home country with my family, and it just so happens that where we are living is Japan.
I came to this realization after a few years of living here. I quit trying to find reasons or explanations for everything that I did not understand and accepted things as they are. leonmarino made some interesting observations with
The 5 stages of understanding, or coping rather,
with Japan are denial, anger, bargaining,
depression, and acceptance.
all I can say is that these "stages" can come anytime, it doesnt mean that they come in any particular order either. There are days at work where all these "feelings and emotions" come all at once. Oh and it isn't just here in Japan that I feel like this ,on occasion, I get them at home too. Being frustrated with family members or the guy working at the local WalMart that acts like a total jerk or idiot when I ask them a question any 12 yr old could answer. So imo it is all up to the person and how well they can or choose to adapt to living in a foreign country. There is no "mystique" about living here, people in other countries, particularly those in the US (My opinion here folks) that give Japan that image, mostly in my most humble opinion, it comes from a lack of understanding and a type of ignorance that in many cases I see from people from the US in regards to their "views" of the rest of the world, not just Japan.
Of course there are times I got/get "homesick", but it isnt homesick for the USA, it's because I miss my family and elderly mother and it has nothing to do with where they are living. It is just by happenstance that they live in the US and me in Japan.

Keep an open mind and learn as much as you can, dont worry about things you can not control, and most definetly dont worry about something like this before you even get here, that is if you are coming, you will be giving yourself preconcieved notions about what life here "should" be like and not what it actually is.

[leonmarino]

Hey I did some googling around as I had nothing to do for a few seconds, then I found out that these five stages are based on some psychological model called the "five stages of grief" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stages_of_dying) by a psychiatrist called Kubler-Ross (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross). So Hachiro is perfectly right in observing that these emotions can be encountered anywhere and anytime basically. :p

[changedonrequest]

Hey I did some googling around as I had nothing to do for a few seconds, then I found out that these five stages are based on some psychological model called the "five stages of grief" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stages_of_dying) by a psychiatrist called Kubler-Ross (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross). So Hachiro is perfectly right in observing that these emotions can be encountered anywhere and anytime basically. :p

Thank you....I would also say that it is not just limited to Japan but anywhere in the world that is not "your" home as well.

Or at least not somehwhere that is "close" to what your home is like.

[nice gaijin]

I remember seeing a profile more specific to foreigners in Japan, I just found one version of it:
Where do I fit in?

For the foreign resident in Japan, the attitudes of the ex-pat actually goes through three predictable phases, of varying lengths 1)The Honeymoon Phase, 2) The Critical Phase 3) The Integrating Phase. Let's look at each of these--


The Honeymoon Phase


This always is the mindset of the eager foreigner who has just arrived, and usually lasts a few months to a year. Every day in Japan is like a new day at Disneyland; everything is new, there are lots of places to see and things to do, meeting the warm Japanese is always a joy. Usually the language isn't much of a burden since you simply don't know much of it and don't worry about it. It is these people who stay a short time, go home, and spread myths about Japan being a mystical Shangri-La, full of happy, happy people and money just lying in the street waiting for you to pick it up and make "Big Money Fast".


The Critical Phase

For those that stay longer, they usually leave the Honeymoon and then enter the Critical Phase, which might last several months to even a few years. The disillusionment of Japan not being a Paradise on earth sets in hard, and the ex-pat encounters frustration at dealing with the language (which is profoundly difficult), cultural differences, and Japanese social obstructions such as the constant treatment of being an Outsider, as well as the needless difficulties in finding an apartment, getting a credit card, or functioning in society. The ex-pat may also find that some of the young Japanese have been really friendly more to practice their own English than to become genuine friends. The pleasures and joys of the things back home become missed more, and the realities of paying the highest prices on the planet become clear. Meeting other ex-pats who vent their stress by attacking nearly everything about Japan may aggravate the trouble. Depending on the person, isolationism or alienation may also set in. It is quite easy to spot an immature ex-pat by seeing how they make sweeping generalizations about Japanese people, Japanese women, etc. and think they know everything there is to know about Japan because they just do the same things every day. He may also believe he has all the answers to everything wrong with Japan and become more irate with the fact that Japan isn't following his brilliant conclusions. These types who go home for good usually have little positive to say about Japan, spread misinformation about Japan on the internet and may permanently hold enmity toward it.


The Integrating Phase


If the ex-pat sticks it out though, and usually takes a periodic vacation to blow off steam, he will usually enter the Integrating Phase, the most objective of all. He can see both the good and the bad of Japan and where he's from, and learns to appreciate the best of both worlds. This is the person who has matured more and is an asset to any company. It is not unusual for long-term ex-pats to have a love-hate relationship with Japan, but over all, they have a stronger resilience as well as a greater tolerance than most people back home. Different people of course will behave differently, and your mileage may vary. It is important though to keep an open mind, to learn about yourself as well as Japan and where you're from, and not to get bogged down with negativity. It's not unusual to learn as much about your own country as well since you can note the differences.

This then gives you a few of the more difficult cultural aspects of the Japanese. Many of them may delight you and others may completely sour your stomach -- but remember that they may take your behavior as equally "uncivilized", so there are always more than 2 ways to look at it. Remember you're not from Utopia either, and if you were, you wouldn't be thinking of coming to Japan. Once again, for the "why-is-there-only-bad-things-in-the-newspapers" crowd, it's necessary to re-state that what's listed here in not the whole of Japanese culture, only the things that are difficult -- Japan has many, many positive traits as well but these of course will not be problematic for those adjusting to Japan. On the whole, the Japanese people are very warm, helpful, and gracious to the western visitor. One can attain a lot of personal growth as well as make a lot of good friends in Japan. Only when the westerner stays here long enough and tries to go deeper into the Japanese society does the resistance begin.

Japanese Culture: A Primer For Newcomers, ©1997-2001 All Rights Reserved.

[RockLee]

Well, I kind of hate Belgium for not being so technologically advanced, bad internetconnection, not so many things to do compared to other countries, etc. But at the same time I have things here that I can't find in Japan or any other country, I think I'll have to make choices in life.

If I have to start thinking about Japan like some of the members living there now, I shouldn't even bother with moving there at all. In the end I might never want to go to another place after living there, but only time will tell. I don't think it's safe to assume I will automatically get fed up by it, cause for all I know I won't ever be. It's all about how you can cope with living there, even with bad things or things that bother you.

[Elizabeth]

If I have to start thinking about Japan like some of the members living there now, I shouldn't even bother with moving there at all. In the end I might never want to go to another place after living there, but only time will tell. I don't think it's safe to assume I will automatically get fed up by it, cause for all I know I won't ever be. It's all about how you can cope with living there, even with bad things or things that bother you.
No kidding. Foreigners may 'annoyed' or 'frustrated' by aspects of life like discrimination, bureaucracy, long work/study hours, and stifling social roles that are stricter than what they were brought up to expect but the Japanese people I know are totally stressed out because they have to suffer these unpleasantries every day of their lives without in many cases having friends to talk freely with it about. Many of them are forced in the end to turn to things like alcohol or complusive shopping :p to cope.

[mash27]

I would like to share my view of Japan, and why I'm interested in the country.
Firstly I think that Japan is interesting because it is the only non-western fully industrialized and advanced country. The other members of the G7 are European or European spawns (US and Canada). It is therefore a perfect example for making comparisons.
Furthermore Japan is also unique compared to other advanced nations in that it isn't the product of 2000 years of Judeo-christian tradition. Even if atheism is widepread in parts of Europe the culture and values of the West are profoudly influence by christianity. Many of the diffrerences in attitudes between Japan and the West concerning the body, sexuality, marriage relationships, good, evil, equality, hierarchy and many others are directly related to the the type of religion the coutry has been exposed to. If u have read Nietzsche then u understand the nefarious effects of christianity. This is why Japan is lucky to have been spared mass christian exposure or conversion.
Many of you are talking about getting "sick" of Japan. I live in Canada and I can say after all these years (i'm 26) that I"m sick of north american culture and find a breath of fresh air in Japanese and to a lesser extent European culture.
For instance Japanese cinema, old and new is superior to american cinema which seems to be aimed at a 7 year old audience. It is also full of cheap sentimentality and melodrama while the JApanese produce more sophisticated films even if like all countries there's also some crap.
Japan's view of sexuality also seems more natural to me and by that I mean less "moral" than what we find in the States.
Japanese food is alos heaven compared to american fast food. I'm mean some of those Japanese dishes look incredible the way everything is arranged.
And no matter how dumb jap TV can get, it can't be dumber than american TV. THe Japanese like to fool around, act retarded, but it's still exciting somehow, while the americans are dumb without even knowing it.
Just a few points I thought of. to be continued...

[Mike Cash]

Interestingly, neither the Japanese nor the American media suck so bad that they need a protectionist law to ensure that their homegrown content can compete for programming slots in their own country.

[nice gaijin]

For some reason that reminded me of this thread http://www.jref.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24231

[mash27]

Interestingly, neither the Japanese nor the American media suck so bad that they need a protectionist law to ensure that their homegrown content can compete for programming slots in their own country.

both are big countries and are major centers of media production. It's samller countries like Canada that cannot compete with US productions.

to add to my previous post I would say that in the end it boils down to a question of personal affinity. When u see something u either like it or u don't.

Some people can watch Imamura's Narayama bushiko and struggle to stay awake while others can love and cherish the movie and get a lot out of it. The same goes for Japanese culture. Some people will simply understand and naturally accept the way things are while other just can't.

[Mike Cash]

The same goes for Japanese culture. Some people will simply understand and naturally accept the way things are while other just can't.

And some of us live in the middle of it, while others have it lined up on a shelf.

[ghettocities]

My love for Japan will never die but I will eventually die and the only reason I know this is because I've truely lived life. A life of Japan.


How difficult is it to go to Japan?

Sometime after birth you get onto an airplane, you fly a great distance only after the pilot and co-pilot have been born and gone through school in order to fly you to Japan. Inside the airplane you are breathing, there is blood circulating your body, your leg might cramp and your unique brain registers it's pain. A meal on the airplane is served, your brain processes it as far from gourmet but you decide to eat it anyway. The way you eat it is by putting it in your mouth, chewing, digesting, the food enters your body, into your stomach and you are given life. You take a nap on the airplane and wake up. The entire time you slept you were breathing and your body was recovering. The plane, in the air, thousands of feet above water or ground and a seat with inflight movies is in front of you. Movies. Movies only after the producer, cast and crew have been born and gone through life directing and constructing and capturing film in order to give you a movie on an airplane ride to your trip to Japan. You choose a movie. Two hours later you finish the movie and think about it. Your brain thinks about the movie as you forget you are thousands of feet above either water or ground because your brain, that's in your head, behind your eyes, behind your nose, inbetween your ears can only process so much. Sure it's just everyday life, breathing, eating, sleeping. It's no big deal. Your life is only going to happen once and "the world is your oyster." I've never had an oyster before and I don't quite know what that means but "something fishy is going on here."


Excuse my Sunday morning,

Josh

[leonmarino]

Many of you are talking about getting "sick" of Japan. I live in Canada and I can say after all these years (i'm 26) that I"m sick of north american culture and find a breath of fresh air in Japanese and to a lesser extent European culture.
I am not getting "sick" of Japan, I am getting sick of people saying they'll never get sick of Japan as if it is the promised land, while it is nothing more than a country like no other. It just happens to have a different culture and different institutions accordingly. And sure, after 26 years of living in one country you might get "sick" of it, like in your case as you say you're sick of North American culture. Many people not living on your continent loves to go there though; land of opportunities, there is lot of space, and compared to a lot of countries there is a level of freedom of speech etc. But these people too might get "sick" of the US or Canada or where-ever after having lived there for 26 years, or less. This is because after a while people will start to see the negative side of a country.
Sure, Japan might have a better cinema culture than North America or better food than the Middle-East and the people might be more respectful than Europeans, but it all comes down what you prefer in a country of residence, or at least think you prefer, as you've never experienced it first hand. To be able to make a balanced judgement you need experience; not from a book or movie, but first-hand experience. Maybe you should try to live 26 years in Japan, and then make a judgement.

[ghettocities]

Maybe you should try to live 26 years in Japan, and then make a judgement.


Hey I've been alive for 23 years and it's been a constant hustle up until this year for me to get where I wanted to be (with wealth and everything.) If I spent the next 26 years of my life living in Japan I'd probably love Japan even more than I already do given the fact that everyday I'd be out in the streets meeting the most beautiful Japanese women, filming like there was no tomorrow and shooting so many photos you could call me The Flash.

Josh

[nice gaijin]

yikes.

10 characters.

[RockLee]

Lol Josh ! "The Flash", I gotta remember that one ;-)

[Pachipro]

Actually, I would say that everyone does get annoyed by living here a few years. They'd have to be blissfully ignorant and live in an amazing coccoon not to.

It's more a question of how much they get annoyed and how well they handle being annoyed.

If you go to live in Japan, after some time you may no longer "love" it (because when you live somewhere, you see the bad things as well as the good things).

But there is no reason to suppose you'll then go to the opposite extreme and hate it... or even find everything about it uninteresting. More likely it will just become more ordinary to you, as you get used to living there. And of course, you might feel a little homesick for some familiar things.

I think you'd have to be pretty cynical, or just a very boring and grumpy person, to get entirely fed up with a country. Every country in the world has some good things and some bad things about it.
I agree with Mike and Kinsao. Of all the years I lived in Japan I can't say that I ever came to "hate" it per se, but I was extremely frustrated and annoyed at times with the differences in culutre and all.

I've said it many times before that, no matter who you are or how long you have have lived in Japan, you will eventually have a love-hate relationship with the country and culture. It's only natural. The true test is how well you can handle the parts of the cutlure you don't agree with or that annoy you and whether you can accept them and still enjoy living there as Mike alluded to.

I've seen people get so frustrated and annoyed at the things that bothered them that they up and left Japan with a very bitter taste in their mouth after proclaiming how much they loved living there during their first year. This is the majority of people who come to Japan to live and work because it was their lifelong dream or desire and very few of them took the time to actually learn the language and culture.

On the other hand, there are those that accept Japan for what it is and enjoy their stay because they so much enjoy living in a foreign country and the other aspects of the culture. These are few and far between at best and most do tend to learn the language and culture.

Me, I was in the latter. I never intended to go to Japan and probably couldn't find it on a map when I was 15. I just ended up there with the military, did my stint and drove out the gate when my time was up to live and stay there.

To me it was just another place to live and a place I thoroughly enjoyed so why not stay. If I came to dislike it I could always leave. The frustrating things about Japan that bother so many foreigners also bothered me at times. But I came to the realization that no matter what country I live in there will always be things that frustrate and annoy me and it has proved to be true. Even here in Tennessee there are things that annoy me but I accept them as a fact of life. The other aspects of living here I thoroughly enjoy and the positive outweighs the negative.

On the other hand, I did return to New York City (where I was born and raised) to hopefully live and work, but the negative far outweighed the positive so I left after a few months never to return again.

I did not leave Japan because I came to hate it, I left as a matter of economics just before the crash in 1990. It was a bitter-sweet parting. I wanted to purchase a house but prices were rising faster than I could gather enough for a downpayment and it got just too rediculous. Do I miss it? Yes I do and plan on returning permanently because the positive (to me at least) far outweigh the negative.

So it all depends on how you handle the things that frustrate you but remember one thing, the odds are against you based on experience and the true test will come after living there 3 or 4 years. As Mike Cash said, "No one is immune to it." Most don't make it. But those that do, end up enjoying their experience and accepting the negative aspects of the culture. Good luck.