Could someone proofread this please

[Taiga_Shinjiro]

夏。
Summer

学院の長い夏休み。
The long summer vacation from school.
崩壊しかかった放送部の面々は、
Each one from the Broadcasting Club started breaking down
個々のレベルにおいても崩れかかっていた。
on an individual level in a ruin trapped.
初夏の合宿から戻ってきて以来、
Since they returned from the early summer training camp,
部員たちの結束はバラバラで。
their unity is disconnected.
今や、まともに部活に参加しているのはただ一人という 有様。
Now, to tell the truth, only one person is participating flat out in the club activities.

主人公は、放送部の一員。
The protagonist is a member of the Broadcasting Club.
夏休みで閑散とした学校、
During the summer vacation leisure at school,
ぽつぽつと姿を見せる仲間たちと、主人公は触れあって いく。
The protagonist is going to come in contact with friends bit by bit displaying his figure.
屋上に行けば、部長の宮澄見里が、
If you go to the rooftop, club president Miyasumi Misato
大きな放送アンテナを組み立てている。
is constructing a giant broadcasting antenna.
一人で。
Alone.
それは夏休みの放送部としての『部活』であったし、
That summer vacation the Broadcasting Club met because of club activies,
完成させてラジオ放送することが課題にもなっていた。
and finish putting up and to do a radio broadcast became their task.
以前は皆で携わっていた。一同が結束していた去年の夏 。
Before, everyone participated. Last summer everyone was present.
今や、参加しているのは一名。
Now, there is only one person participating.

そんな二人を冷たく見つめるかつての仲間たち。
Once friends, they coldly stare at each other.
ともなって巻き起こる様々な対立。
And accompanied by rising varied opposition.
そして和解。
And reconciliation.
バラバラだった部員たちの心は、少しずつ寄り添ってい く。
The member's hearts were in pieces, little by little they cuddle close together.
そして夏休み最後の日、送信装置は完成する―――
And on last day of summer vacation, the transmission equipment is set up------
装置はメッセージを乗せて、世界へと―――
What message will they send to the world?

Thanks.

[Tomii515]

woo...a lot...i don't knwo enough japanese sentence stucture to proofread this...sorry!

[KrazyKat]

I think they want us to proofread the English, not the Japanese.

[Taiga_Shinjiro]

Ah, well I want the translation to be proofread. I'm not too confident with my Japanese so I think I might have translated wrong. Also it never hurts to listen to what others have to say.

[leonmarino]

Is this a poem of some kind? Some sentences in English seem odd to me. Then again, I'm not a native English speaker. :p

[Taiga_Shinjiro]

It's a description of what the story is like to this one video game.

[yamada]

夏。
Summer
学院の長い夏休み。
The long summer vacation from school.
崩壊しかかった放送部の面々は、
Each one from the Broadcasting Club started breaking down
個々のレベルにおいても崩れかかっていた。
on an individual level in a ruin trapped.
初夏の合宿から戻ってきて以来、
Since they returned from the early summer training camp,
部員たちの結束はバラバラで。
their unity is disconnected.
今や、まともに部活に参加しているのはただ一人という 有様。
Now, to tell the truth, only one person is participating flat out in the club activities.
主人公は、放送部の一員。
The protagonist is a member of the Broadcasting Club.
夏休みで閑散とした学校、
During the summer vacation leisure at school,ぽつぽつと姿を見せる仲間たちと、主人公は触� 黷�っていく。
The protagonist is going to come in contact with friends bit by bit displaying his figure.
屋上に行けば、部長の宮澄見里が、
If you go to the rooftop, club president Miyasumi Misato
大きな放送アンテナを組み立てている。
is constructing a giant broadcasting antenna.
一人で。
Alone.
それは夏休みの放送部としての『部活』であったし、
That summer vacation the Broadcasting Club met because of club activies,
完成させてラジオ放送することが課題にもなっていた。
and finish putting up and to do a radio broadcast became their task.
以前は皆で携わっていた。一同が結束していた去年の夏 。
Before, everyone participated. Last summer everyone was present.
今や、参加しているのは一名。
Now, there is only one person participating.
そんな二人を冷たく見つめるかつての仲間たち。
Once friends, they coldly stare at each other.
ともなって巻き起こる様々な対立。
And accompanied by rising varied opposition.
そして和解。
And reconciliation.
バラバラだった部員たちの心は、少しずつ寄り添ってい く。
The member's hearts were in pieces, little by little they cuddle close together.
そして夏休み最後の日、送信装置は完成する―――
And on last day of summer vacation, the transmission equipment is set up------
装置はメッセージを乗せて、世界へと―――
What message will they send to the world?
Thanks.

My mother tongue is Japanese.
I think English parts were written by a native Japanese.