Why do so many foreigners marry Japanese women?

[DoctorP]

I've recently been wondering why this is becoming so popular.

In the '70s it wasn't all that common to see a foreign man and a Japanese woman married. Now, it is quite common, depending upon where you go, to see a Japanese woman with her "gaijiin" husband. It got me to thinking as to why this has become so "popular".

I have several ideas as to why, but no data to back any of it up. Only speculation.

One strong idea as to why, is that Japanese women, as a rule are believed to be subservient to men based on the image of Japanese society. I believe that many foreign men find this attractive as the women in their home country may tend to be more "equal" with them.

Of course it could be that they were just meant to be. You know, they "click" or they are just complimentary to each other and make a good couple.

There is always that stigma that the foreigner was a loser in his own country, and no woman there would have anything to do with him. Thus, the only woman he could get was to marry a Japanese (or other foreign woman) or live his life alone. This idea is shared among many closed minded individuals...but can also be true at times!

Another idea that is often mentioned is that the woman is treated much better by the foreign man than by Japanese men, which explains her attraction to the foreigner.

Any thoughts on this by anyone here?

[ricecake]

In the '70s it wasn't all that common to see a foreign man and a Japanese woman married.

I believe that many foreign men find this attractive as the women in their home country may tend to be more "equal" with them.



Before 1975,nearly all Japanese women ( and other Oriental females in Pacific Rim ) married to " foreigner " males were in the sex industry.

It only applies to white males not getting attention from nice decent attractive white girls.My typical white-American neighbors all have white spouses with two stationed at Japan's Yokosuka Naval Base in the 1990's,J.Jameson and Joe Stanton never took interest in Japanese ( or Asian )women or culture.

[ArmandV]

Maybe they find Japanese women attractive and sexy.

[leonmarino]

I'm pretty sure the "nice and obedient" character of many Japanese women are considered very attractive.

If I may speak for myself, as a kid I always used to say I wanted to marry a Japanese woman so she could cook just like my mom!! :D Having said that, I'm afraid my current girlfriend isn't much of a cook, and prefers western food over Japanese food!! :(

[yukio_michael]

I never had any illusions about Japanese women being specifically subserviant, though my girlfriend was especially caring for me, it may just be a character trait of hers...

I like how Japanese women speak, I like their language, I like how they look, I like generally how they think... Living in a college town, I've seen just how bad some American women have become, basically they are just like men, yelling in the street, wearing slobby clothes, acting rude & loud...

My relationship just sort of happened, but when you are interested in Asian culture, especially if you make specific plans to move to Japan, or have a desire to move to Japan, a Japanese girlfriend is a natural thing--- If you live in Japan, and want to stay there, there isn't much point in seeking out another gaijin to date---

And honestly, for myself, I don't find Americanized Asians all that attractive, personality-wise... They can be loud and brash and just the sort of thing that seems so unatractive to me, they're so fed up with their parents telling them to remember their culture that they go overboard in assimilating...

Besides, I don't think there is anything wrong with being drawn to another culture--- I think it's foolish to assume that people totally disregard race. We're different people and I think if you ask the question why do gaikokujin men seek Japanese women, you have to ask yourself why Japanese women seek gaikokujin men.

ed: There is probably a contingency of men who see foreign Asian women as 'exotic oriental flowers' and all that rubbish, but how far do they really get?

Also, the next interesting question is, Why are Japanese men seeking fillipina brides rather than Japanese ones...?

[Dutch Baka]

Because the world has become more open to foreigners.

This is not only in Japan I think, but everywhere in the world...

[ricecake]

Also, the next interesting question is,Why are Japanese men seeking fillipina brides rather than Japanese ones...?





I've heard through the grapevines in northern California,some Fillipinas are _________ " kinky s@x ".:p

[pipokun]

...
Also, the next interesting question is, Why are Japanese men seeking fillipina brides rather than Japanese ones...?
Year 2004
Chinese: 11,915
Fillipina: 8,397

I heard fake marrige is increasing after the government hesitates to issue entertainer visa, but be happy when you get married.

[Mike Cash]

Before 1975,nearly all Japanese women married to " foreigner " males were in the sex industry.

I suppose you have a source for that extraordinarily offensive yet characteristic little gem. Care to share it with us?

It only applies to white males not getting attention from nice decent attractive white girls.My typical white-American neighbors all have white spouses with two stationed at Japan's Yokosuka Naval Base in the 1990's,J.Jameson and Joe Stanton never took interest in Japanese ( or Asian )women or culture.

You have to be one of the most racially offensive people it has ever been my misfortune to encounter.

[Mike Cash]

One thing you absolutely must factor in here is the vastly larger number of foreigners here. For example, from about 1985 to 1988 the foreign population of Tokyo expanded about 500%. (Thanks to the rising yen at the time).

[RockLee]

Well, my answer to this question would be : "Who gives a damn!". :)
It's not because they make better partners or anything, it's just by either coincidence or pure interest. Ofcourse there are some stereotypical people who can't get a woman in their own country or who have a fetish for asian women. I wouldn't be bothered by it, the same thing happens in China and all over the world.

I think Dave hit the nail on the head.

[Kyoko_desu]

Japanese women, as a rule are believed to be subservient to men based on the image of Japanese society.
OK, if anyone here still believe the myth of Japanese women being so obedient, raise your hand! I will come shatter the illusion! :box: (just kiddin')

Well, seriously, modern Japanese women are not so obedient to their husbands or boyfriends as the ones of grandma's age. However, when compared with, say, American ones, maybe we are??? I really don't know.

Why are Japanese men seekin fillipina brides rather than Japanese ones...?The first thing that came across my mind when I saw this post was a newspaper article I read some years ago, which said:
*Sons of farm families from depopulated rural area seeking Phillipina brides* or something like that.. The reason for this is that not many Japanse modern girls want to marry a farmer. Besides the fact of lacking the opportunity of meeting young girls, sons of farm families are having a hard time with getting a wife because many young Japanese women don't want to marry a guy with an occupation of 3K (standing for kitanai, kitsui, kusai, I'm not sure about the last one though). (kitanai=dirty, kitsui=tough/hard, kusai=smelly). You know, if you are a farmer or a wife of a farmer, you have to work outside all sweating, you sometimes get mud on your shirt, the job is most of the time physically hard, and you can't travel for so many days cus you need to take the daily care of the farm . So those farmers need to arrange a meeting to find a bride, what we call "omiai", with young Phillipina women who, they hope, won't mind a 3K job.


Other than that, I guess they have an expectation of Phillipinas being nice and obedient just like the one some Westeners still have of Japanese women. The Japanese guys who've met Phllipina hostesses at Phillipino pubs here fall in love with their sweetness and obedience. In my opinion, they are just being very professional and they know what can attract their customers, though.

I heard this painfully poor Japanese guy's story who chased up the Phillipina to her homeland who used to work at a Phillipin pub in Japan and suddenly left without saying anything to him. What he found there was his sweet Phillipina girlfriend who once was (or at least looked like to him) in love with him with a local husband and 4 kids.

At the same time, there are poor Phillipina hostesses here who get pregnant and then dumped by their Japanese boyfriends or customers.

Now, back on topic, why it's becoming more and more common for Japanese women to have foreign husbands? I second what Mike Cash-san said. There are more and more foreign people in Japan these days. I think it is the biggest reason.

[ricecake]

However,when compared with,say,American ones,maybe we are ? I really don't know.




Japanese is a male-dominiated culture and more so than nearby East Asian counterparts,it reflects in many social aspects.

Definitely,Japanese women are still traditional and subservient ( is better word ) to some agree compare to some of those outspoken,loud,and bitchy American women.I've seen my white-neighbors's white-wife could bossed,yelled,and talked to her husband like a " puppy " before my very eyes.

American females fought for " equal rights " for many decades,more so than European and Oriental counterparts.There are a few die-hard remnant of male chauvinstic American men ( including my girlfriend Gail's husband believes in old school values,she puts up with all his crap.She vented to me,her husband once said he would now be with a Mexican girl if she hasn't shown in his life ).

Most American women are assertive,demanding and domineering,absolutely have no fear speak their mind.

World became more tolerate of inter-racial marriages not just Japan,different nationalities can meet and fall in love at school or at work nowadays.

[kirby36]

I suppose you have a source for that extraordinarily offensive yet characteristic little gem. Care to share it with us ?


US Department of Defense ( Pentagon ) and US servicemen are 2 reliable first-hand sources,you can access to de-classified documents.

[Nana007]

Well my cousin's wife is Japanese and I don't know why he married her. But I do know that She is very much into Hip Hop music and culture. And I guess since he is black she married him cause she likes Black Men? I don't know but she is very much a B-Gyaru. She speaks hip hop slang has a "black" haircut and wears hip hop clothing brands.

[ricecake]

You know,they "click" or they are just complimentary to each other and make a good couple.

There is always that stigma that the foreigner was a loser in his own country, and no woman there would have anything to do with him.Thus,the only woman he could get was to marry a Japanese (or other foreign woman) or live his life alone.This idea is shared among many closed minded individuals...but can also be true at times !





Seriously,can anyone here entertain us as to how two foreign individuals with completely different cultural backgrounds can have such personal social connection on the fact most WM/AF partners or couples have obvious language barrier.My girlfriend's white-American husband often barely understands her English,I sometimes have to re-phrase the words for her.They both have nothing in common honestly,let alone click.

One bald-headed former unmarried 40'ish colleague ( a very nice gentleman ) at work painfully accepted the reality set before him in one conversation with me and other females.

[yukio_michael]

I've seen my white-neighbors's white-wife could bossed,yelled,and talked to her husband like a " puppy " before my very eyes. American females fought for " equal rights " for many decades,more so than European and Oriental counterparts.Will you stop saying the word white so often; it's as if you were Kunta Kinte or something...

Other than that, I guess they have an expectation of Phillipinas being nice and obedient just like the one some Westeners still have of Japanese women. The Japanese guys who've met Phllipina hostesses at Phillipino pubs here fall in love with their sweetness and obedience. In my opinion, they are just being very professional and they know what can attract their customers, though.The first part of what you mentioned makes perfect sense to me, I'm familiar w/ what you say the 3K jobs... (in English, 3D, Dirty, Dangerous, Difficult)...

The second one I had believed to be true myself before I posed the question to others. I think its a change in the male psyche which occured since after the second world war. I think it came from Japanese men also taking too many liberties in creating an environment in Japan that was not so respectful to women... They want their cake & to eat it as well.... (English idomatic expression!), you know--- they want to be childish boys, and also to be respected in the household as well. There needs to be a resurgence of the old-fashioned Japanese male, I think...

[ricecake]

Deleted

[ArmandV]

One bald-headed former unmarried 40'ish colleague ( a very nice gentleman ) at work painfully accepted the reality set before him in one conversation with me and other females.

What was wrong with a bald, fortyish nice gentleman that you took it upon yourselves to set him straight on? Nothing like raising a guy's self-esteem!

Jeez, looks ain't everything. No wonder guys are seeking women elsewhere.

[ArmandV]

Seriously,can anyone here entertain us as to how two foreigner individuals with complete cultural backgrounds can have such personal social connection on the fact most WM/AF partners or couples have obvious language barrier.My girlfriend's white-American husband often barely understands her English,I sometimes have to re-phrase the words for her.They both have nothing in common honestly,let alone click.


Obviously, she sees something in him that you don't. Thank God you have a girlfriend who's not a bigot.

[Ma Cherie]

I found this fascinating, although it's more from a Japanese woman's viewpoint of why some Japanese women want foreign men.
http://wwwsshe.murdoch.edu.au/intersections/issue4/karen.html

[ricecake]

Obviously, she sees something in him that you don't.Thank God you have a girlfriend who's not a bigot.




Me and other close female friends eyewitnessed the husband rudely snapped at her at our presence,she is also blindly tolerated his behaviours and live in misery not just un-bigoted.

[ArmandV]

Me and other close female friends eyewitnessed the husband rudely snapped at her at our presence,she is also blindly tolerated his behaviours and live in misery not just un-bigoted.

Is she Japanese and he a caucasian American?

[Ewok85]

We are missing the most obvious answer. If you spend time in Japan, and are single, the number of Japanese females compared to foreign females, who are in the same area, similar age is going to be a million to one. Litrally.

Now do you see why its "so common"? (Even though its not that common at all).

US Department of Defense ( Pentagon ) and US servicemen are 2 reliable first-hand sources,you can access to de-classified documents.

Lamest reply to a biased and untrue comment, yet very common. The onus is not on us or Mike to find anything, its for you to backup your rediculous comment. (Which is pretty fking offensive to ALOT of people on here).

[yukio_michael]

We are missing the most obvious answer. If you spend time in Japan, and are single, the number of Japanese females compared to foreign females, who are in the same area, similar age is going to be a million to one. Litrally.I mentioned that too. Even if you are simply planning on living in Japan--- what do people do. Date a woman where they live and then say, "sorry darling, I can't take you with me...". So the impetus is to look to meet a Japanese girl when you are there, or before you get there, which happens most of the time.

~ Again, I don't think any of this is un-natural... You can't ask this question the way you might ask, Why do so many people drive SUVs these days...

[Maciamo]

To answer the OP's question, I believe that there are several reasons for the increase of such couples :

1) globalisation : it is increasingly easy to travel and live in other countries, as long-distance flights have got much cheaper since the 1970's, and more companies have branches abroad (esp. in IT and fashion).

2) I suppose that you are referring to Westerners-Japanese couples (or to a lower extent Black-Japanese couples), because I more rarely see Japanese women with Indians, Arabs, Indonesians, etc. I guess that this is partly due to the "admiration" of some younger Japanese for the West, and also to their will to learn English or other Western languages (esp. French and Italian). On the other hand, an increasingly number of Westerners are interested in Japanese culture, especially people who have grown up since the 'manga invasion' of the 80's and 'video game invasion' of the 90's. Likewise European/American food has become increasingly common in Japan, and Japanese food is booming in the West too. So, one of the reason is a mutual desire to learn about the other's language and culture.

3) Why is it Western men who usually marry Japanese women, much more than the reverse ? I believe that this is simply because Caucasians (and Blacks) have more accentuated genetical and cultural characteristics, while Asian cultures (and genetic types) are more feminine. For instance Caucasiansmen are usually taller, hairier, physically stronger than their Japanese/East Asian counterparts. But there is also the socio-cultural aspect, the fact that Western societies have become less gender-biased a few decades earlier, so that men do more housework, take paternal leaves to take care of children, etc., while it is still rare among Japanese/East Asian men. Likewise, Japanese women tend to be more feminine (and childish, which can be cute or even sexy) than Caucasian, and even more Black women. So another reason is the male-female relation matching the male Caucasian- female Mongoloid type of couple. Indeed it is not only Caucasian men + Japanese women couples that have increased dramatically, but also Caucasian men + other East Asian (Korean, Chinese, Philipina, Thai, Malaysian...).

[Mike Cash]

US Department of Defense ( Pentagon ) and US servicemen are 2 reliable first-hand sources,you can access to de-classified documents.

The DOD keeps statistics on how many Japanese brides prior to 1975 were sex workers? That's interesting.

[ghettocities]

I hear cash registers opening and bank vault combination being turned when Japanese women talk.


Josh

[Dutch Baka]

I hear cash registers opening and bank vault combination being turned when Japanese women talk.


Josh
thank you for your Input Josh:okashii:

[pipokun]

...
American females fought for " equal rights " for many decades,more so than European and Oriental counterparts.There are a few die-hard remnant of male chauvinstic American men ( including my girlfriend Gail's husband believes in old school values,she puts up with all his crap.She vented to me,her husband once said he would now be with a Mexican girl if she hasn't shown in his life ).
Most American women are assertive,demanding and domineering,absolutely have no fear speak their mind.
...

What do you think of soccer mom in your country?
I like their way of living. I guess all they want is just a community where their kids, families live happily.
Are +10000 married Chinese women here the same as the kid killer? No.

[Mike Cash]

I hear cash registers opening and bank vault combination being turned when Japanese women talk.
Josh

You know, one of these days one of the admins is going to figure out what "I F Japanese girls NDB 4$" means and I hope they ban you so fast and so permanently it makes your head swim.

[nurizeko]

There are many reasons for why an asian woman may pair off with a foreign man, but ussually, the reason any relationship is maintained, especially into marriage, is love.

My girlfriend has driven me to near insanity plenty of times, and to say we are a perfect fit is a lie, I am easy going and a bit sloppy, she is like the energizer bunny always needing something to do and quite a clean-freak if I may say.

But for all that, years after the novelty of sex and the learning about such a different person has worn off, I still think of her and miss her.

She was over here until just recently (this week infact) and I swear there were times I could have run away, but there were good times and yeah, if I didnt love her, the relationship would feel like a total chore and drag and I wouldnt wanna be with her.

It isnt missing out on sexin up a Japanese lady that makes a full grown dude cry when his lady friend dissappears through the departure doors...

Aw crud...

*Shuffles off and craddles his vulnerable emotions* :blush:

[gaijinalways]

It has increased a lot, but still compared to Japanese males marrying Asians other than Japanese, it's small. And yes, many people who live in Japan for a longer time are more likely to marry Japanese, because as pointed out earlier, there are more of them around (98%) compared to non-Japanese.

A bigger question might be, why do so few Western women marry Japanese men?

[DoctorP]

3) ...I believe that this is simply because Caucasians (and Blacks) have more accentuated genetical and cultural characteristics, while Asian cultures (and genetic types) are more feminine. For instance Caucasiansmen are usually taller, hairier, physically stronger than their Japanese/East Asian counterparts. But there is also the socio-cultural aspect, the fact that Western societies have become less gender-biased a few decades earlier, so that men do more housework, take paternal leaves to take care of children, etc., while it is still rare among Japanese/East Asian men. Likewise, Japanese women tend to be more feminine (and childish, which can be cute or even sexy) than Caucasian, and even more Black women.

While I agree with most of your post, do you really believe your statement of them being more masculine? Have you really looked at a great number of the English teaching community? Not talking about the younger JET's mind you, but more so the "professionals" or the ones who set up their own schools, get the teaching positions at the Universities, etc.... This is somewhat stereotypical, but in my experiences the people who hold these types of jobs are not the most masculine looking specimens. They tend to be quite frail, introverts who would appear as though they were social outcasts at home.

I realize all do not fit this description, but you have to admit you have seen more than a few of these types.

So another reason is the male-female relation matching the male Caucasian- female Mongoloid type of couple. Indeed it is not only Caucasian men + Japanese women couples that have increased dramatically, but also Caucasian men + other East Asian (Korean, Chinese, Philipina, Thai, Malaysian...).

Yes, I understand this, but I was mainly focusing on the Japan side of things here.

[ghettocities]

I'm simply amazed at how a question like "why do foreigners marry Japanese women" recieves so much thought and well-rounded opinions where as if the topic was put in a Europe forum or say Irish forum like "why do foreigners marry Irish women" it wouldn't even recieve 1/8th of the sort of brain-strain that it does when it has "Japanese women" as the topic.


Josh

[Mike Cash]

I'm simply amazed at how a question like "why do foreigners marry Japanese women" recieves so much thought and well-rounded opinions where as if the topic was put in a Europe forum or say Irish forum like "why do foreigners marry Irish women" it wouldn't even recieve 1/8th of the sort of brain-strain that it does when it has "Japanese women" as the topic.
Josh
I bet if you F'ed Irish women in the butt for $ you wouldn't think so.

[ArmandV]

While I agree with most of your post, do you really believe your statement of them being more masculine? Have you really looked at a great number of the English teaching community?

Specifically, where and what English teaching community are you referring to?

It's been nearly 30 years since I went to college/university and I didn't notice that the English instructors were lacking in their masculinity. (Maybe things have changed since then?)

[ricecake]

do you really believe your statement of them being more masculine ?

Have you really looked at a great number of the English teaching community in Japan ?They tend to be quite frail,introverts who would appear as though they were social outcasts at home.





Good-looking outgoing personality hairy-chested masculine W-guys are most desired and taken by W-girls,no need for them sought attention from foreign women or go mate-shopping in Japan or Far East.

Hit the nail on the coffin.:-)

[DoctorP]

Specifically, where and what English teaching community are you referring to?
It's been nearly 30 years since I went to college/university and I didn't notice that the English instructors were lacking in their masculinity. (Maybe things have changed since then?)

ArmandV - I'm strictly referring to the "professors" that you run across who are English teachers here in Japan. I'm not referring to the entire profession of teachers in general.

[ArmandV]

ArmandV - I'm strictly referring to the "professors" that you run across who are English teachers here in Japan. I'm not referring to the entire profession of teachers in general.

Okay, gotcha!

I only know of one English "professor" in Japan and I would have to agree that he is not the poster boy for masculinity. He once confessed to being "into" Elton John. I guess that should tell us something.

[ArmandV]

Good-looking outgoing personality hairy-chested masculine W-guys are most desired and taken by W-girls,no need for them sought attention from foreign women or go mate-shopping in Japan or Far East.

Hit the nail on the coffin.:-)

I dunno, a Japanese lady friend is very fascinated by my chest hair. When we met I said (a Sean Connery line), "Japanese proverb say, "Bird never build nest in bare tree.""

[DoctorP]

I dunno, a Japanese lady friend is very fascinated by my chest hair. When we met I said (a Sean Connery line), "Japanese proverb say, "Bird never build nest in bare tree.""


ArmandV, I always say the same thing when someone teases me about my chest hair..."If you were using the right fertilizer, grass would grow on your field too!" It usually shuts them up for a while.

[DoctorP]

It makes you wonder if a lot of the women in question marry these guys strictly for "survival"? But then that totally wrecks the idea as to why so many beautiful Japanese women in their 30's remain unmarried.

[ArmandV]

It makes you wonder if a lot of the women in question marry these guys strictly for "survival"? But then that totally wrecks the idea as to why so many beautiful Japanese women in their 30's remain unmarried.


Maybe they are saving themselves for us.

Funny thing, though. Although it seems that Japanese men aren't as "manly" with their women as westerners are, Japanese women also seem to suffer from what I call emotional constipation.

[ricecake]

Honestly,American Caucasian-girls on average are prettier than J-C-K girls and have lively spunky personality.It must be Caucasian females' confidence intimidate their own male-folk.

[kirei_na_me]

Japanese women also seem to suffer from what I call emotional constipation.

Definitely, and I'd say that this can also be applied to Japanese men. As a matter of fact, I think Japanese men are even more constipated.

[DoctorP]

You know what? Say what you like about this thread, but in just a couple of days it got 45 replies and over 600 views. Just goes to show you, start a few threads people and others will join in!

[RockLee]

Hmm Ricecake...enough with the W- or white people ok? Just call us caucasians for crying out loud! I don't go refer to asians as yellow people :okashii: I find the whole color-naming quite insulting.

[ricecake]

Now,it is quite common,depending upon where you go,to see a Japanese woman with her "gaijiin" husband.It got me to thinking as to why this has become so "popular ".




It's popularity has roots in Japanese war bribes of American GI's back in the 1940's-1950's,this is a recycle fad with added foreign flavors.

J-women should value " quality " NOT quantity.

It's refreshing to read,Caucasian-gaijin husbands do walkabout comfortably with J-spouse visible in daylight overseas.Inter-marriage rate between Caucasian Males/Asian Females went through the roof these past 15 years in California and across the USA,it's still NOT common ( still rare ) to see Caucasian-male with Asian-wife and haafu children at regular shopping malls,neighborhood parks,theaters,American restaurant chains,plus other public places frequent by Caucasians.

I always find it " odd " or " intrigue " as to why men would married some foreign females they are ashamed of going places with ( or be seen by own race ) out in broad daylight in their home country.

[kirei_na_me]

It's popularity has roots in Japanese war bribes of American GI's back in the 1940's-1950's,this is a recycle fad with added foreign flavors.
J-women should value " quality " NOT quantity.
It's refreshing to read,C-gaijin husbands do walkabout comfortably with J-spouse visible in daylight overseas.Inter-marriage rate between CM/AF went through the roof these past 15 years in California and across the USA,it's still NOT common ( still rare ) to see C-male with A-wife and haafu children at regular shopping malls,neighborhood parks,theaters,American restaurant chains,plus other public places frequent by C-population.
I always find it " odd " or " intrigue " as to why men would married some foreign females they are ashamed of going places with ( or be seen by own race ) out in broad daylight in their home country.

What are you talking about? Chinese males are ashamed to go out in public with their caucasian wives? Or what? What is "A"? American?

If that's what you're saying, I'd say my husband was almost boastful about having an American wife. He was always eager to show me off or tell someone about me, almost as if I were a status symbol.

In fact, that is part of the problem. He makes me feel like property. Another one of his assets.

[ArmandV]

In fact, that is part of the problem. He makes me feel like property. Another one of his assets.


My dear, you shouldn't feel offended. Take it as a compliment!

[ArmandV]

Definitely, and I'd say that this can also be applied to Japanese men. As a matter of fact, I think Japanese men are even more constipated.

Note the word also in the sentence I wrote that you quoted?

[DoctorP]

In fact, that is part of the problem. He makes me feel like property. Another one of his assets.


This is how I think most gaijiin males are with their Japanese wives. It is such a novel idea to them to be married to a foreigner. Then, after a bit of time, the novelty wears off for both parties...that is why I fear divorce is quite common as well.

[ricecake]

What are you talking about? Chinese males are ashamed to go out in public with their caucasian wives? Or what? What is "A"? American ?




C refers to Caucasian as replacement for W at RockLee's request,A is for Asian.

[misa.j]

I think some Japanese women, including myself look super dorky compared to many of the Americans and Europeans.

My husband says that's why he married me.

[ArmandV]

I think some Japanese women, including myself look super dorky compared to many of the Americans and Europeans.
My husband says that's why he married me.

The only thing I ever noticed about some Japanese women that may be "dorky-looking" is that they walk pigeon-toed.

[kirei_na_me]

Note the word also in the sentence I wrote that you quoted?

Whoops. Yeah, just saw that. Duh. :blush:

C refers to Caucasian as replacement for W at RockLee's request,A is for Asian.

Thank you for clearing that up. :cool:

[ricecake]

Hmm Ricecake...enough with the W- or white people ok? Just call us caucasians for crying out loud! I don't go refer to asians as yellow people :okashii: I find the whole color-naming quite insulting.




This post is my sincere apologies to anyone Caucasian I may have un-intentionally offended on the usage of " W or white ".

I never understood why Americans of European-descent refer themselves as by that color,it took me many years to get a hang of using that word.

[yukio_michael]

This is how I think most gaijiin males are with their Japanese wives. It is such a novel idea to them to be married to a foreigner.I can't belive you say this is how you think most gaijin males think, that their Japanese wives or girlfriends are simply a novelty to them... Maybe people come to find that their significant other is different than what they expected--- but since you started this thread you seem to infer that anyone gaijin who happens to be fond of Japanese women is simply following a trend, rather than their own emotions... is this what you are saying?

Not to mention the gaijin bars where Japanese women go to meet gajin men... I've heard more of gajin males being used as a status symbol than vice versa--- You seem to infer that the population of Japanese women need to be protected from the rising tide of invading gaijin. You sould a bit like someone else we all know on these forums.

[Mars Man]

In due respect to those who are discussing the question here, and their opinions and such, I don't think I should get involved, really, but the emotion to say something overwhelmed me at the moment--maybe cause it's morning, the sun is out, the coffee tastes especially good...whatever.....

I feel the OP question could have been worded much more precisely, but with titles, perhaps that is just the way it goes. I will share my feelings and perceptions regarding my personal history, in hopes that it may in some way provide a sample space from which others can provide theirs, and then we may be able to get a bit of some kind of picture. [and I do this all the while keeping Damacci's situation in mind. . . please understand my Tucson friend]

From birth, I am convienced, I had a propensity towards a certain type of look in women, which blossomed in highschool. As it turned out, that look was found more so in the build that comes most ususally in Asian women. (and I'm including some range of Indian here, as well as native American)

It is true, though perhaps it had not been so pronounced at the time, and I had not really been mature enough to have done so, that I vowed to myself around the age of 14 to never marry an American woman. I believe that meant to me at that time, the European based look more than anything else.
(I did have some American girlfriends after that but none so steady)

I was with a girl from Pakistan for a short while when in college, then Japanese. The reason for being with the Japanese girl was the physical attraction creating the impulse to form the connection, the building of friendship and a 'mating' parnership then, in turn, led to it being steady. [I mean, this is most usually how we sexes come together in bond anyway] It failed.

The girl I am with now was, as is so often used here, my type--very close to the girl who had been in my mind for so many years that I can remember. Alas, I am speaking of physical build, form, and activity--that includes posture (an important factor in the attraction element for me).

None of the other ideas presented in earlier posts, fit my case. I would not attempt to deny that some of those other ideas are present in the real world out there, but would neither say that they are the bulk of the 'why' matter in relationships that are between a female of Japanese nationality and genetics and a male of some (usually) Western nationality.

Some good posts have been made, I have enjoyed the read. I'll try to find some topic relatively soon too...if I can....:relief: :-)

[Mars Man]

This post is my sincere apologies to anyone Caucasian I may have un-intentionally offended on the usage of " W or white ".


With the hopes that no one sees it as any attempt to boast, I have been told, on a number of occasions, that some seemingly strong sense of fairness in my aura had been really felt by those who told me so, and that if more were like that there would maybe be less mistrust in the world.

I greatly appreciate your apology, ricecake san, yet, to be honest, I was, and am never offended by such--or even worse (to a degree). I often recall the old chant that we childern growing up often used: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Thanks ricecake !! :cool: :-)

[Thunderthief]

Generally im not attracted to most Japanese girls. I don't want to sound offensive, racist or anything, because im not. But most of them (im not saying ALL) are flat chested and figure wise look like there about 12 years old... and thats just well... nevermind.

You know, one of these days one of the admins is going to figure out what "I F Japanese girls NDB 4$" means and I hope they ban you so fast and so permanently it makes your head swim. No offence but LOL I couldn't help but laugh after reading that. Being the master of l33t speak that I am I could easily translate but dont want to get banned
:giggle:

[Maciamo]

Good-looking outgoing personality hairy-chested masculine W-guys are most desired and taken by W-girls,no need for them sought attention from foreign women or go mate-shopping in Japan or Far East.
Hit the nail on the coffin.:-)
Not so sure about that. Personally I find that too many Northern European girls lack femininity. They usually want to behave like men, get the same jobs as men, do the same sports as men, be as strong (for authority) as men, wear too many jeans/trousers, etc. Japanese women tend to know better how to dress well and be sexy. Italian girls, and some French girls (maybe more in the South), are closer to the Japanese, but still not as feminine.

Usually opposites attract each others. When it comes to sex and sexual attraction, the hormonal levels of a man and woman should be diametrically opposite for the attraction to be optimal. So very masculine men tend to be attracted to very feminine women and vice versa, while effeminate men might prefer more masculine women. I read some researches about this. Of course it is not always true (and hormonal levels reflect more on sexiness than beauty), but on the whole there is some truth in it.

But I have to say that Japan is not the country where women are the most beautiful in average. Indeed I would rank it after most many Western countries. Japan only tops the list for cuteness and sexiness. The hard thing is to find a truly beautiful Japanese woman, but they usually end up becoming celebrities. I guess I was lucky to find my wife, as in 4 years in Tokyo I have rarely seen somebody as beautiful as her in the street, and indeed few I would have dated, had I been single. But I am exigent for everything, and beauty is not an exception.

[DoctorP]

Tokyo is not known for having the most beautiful women anyway. Thanks for your post and opinions.

[epigene]

The only thing I ever noticed about some Japanese women that may be "dorky-looking" is that they walk pidgeon-toed.
Yes, pigeon-toed, you're absolutely right! There are so many young girls who don't know how to walk...
Because they didn't play outdoors in their childhood (lack of physical strength)? Wearing too high heels or too small shoes? :okashii:

[ricecake]

For instance Caucasiansmen are usually taller, hairier, physically stronger than their Japanese/East Asian counterparts.

But there is also the socio-cultural aspect, the fact that Western societies have become less gender-biased a few decades earlier, so that men do more housework, take paternal leaves to take care of children, etc., while it is still rare among Japanese/East Asian men.





On Asia continent,many northern East Asian males are tall and physically strong built,less hairy than Caucasian counterpart though.

This is only true for Japanese men as they're esteemed in the society at the expense of their women-folk,the other 2 East Asian nationalities ( lesser extent for Korean males ) are more respectful of their women as equals and share house chores is quite common plus take responsibility of child rearing.

[DoctorP]

I didn't notice the pigeon toed so much as just being plain bow legged!

[Dutch Baka]

Tokyo is not known for having the most beautiful women anyway.

Kansai (Kobe) is the place to be :-)

[ricecake]

They usually want to behave like men, get the same jobs as men, do the same sports as men, be as strong (for authority) as men, wear too many jeans/trousers,etc.

Japan only tops the list for cuteness.





Exactly,this is what intimidates some Caucasian men.

Totally AGREE.

[pipokun]

This post is my sincere apologies to anyone Caucasian I may have un-intentionally offended on the usage of " W or white ".
I never understood why Americans of European-descent refer themselves as by that color,it took me many years to get a hang of using that word.

When you have time to apology, just show the data.
Before 1975,nearly all Japanese women ( and other Oriental females in Pacific Rim ) married to " foreigner " males were in the sex industry.

[Tyshepp]

I love them big-breasted blue-eyed German hens, and a super sexy Honduran ooman just curls my toes. American split-tails with them American thighs are very pleasing to the eyes, but can be so demanding. And there ain't much sexier than a sweet oriental babe, but I don't know ANY of them that are truely "subserviant!"

[pipokun]

I remember I laughed at some ethnic jokes about Japanese women in Bridget Jones's Diary.
But marriages between British men and Japanese women have not increased much, just stayed same, about 200 couples/a year, and it is the same between American & Japanese, about 1000-1500 couples/a year last 30 yrs.

But the category, "other nationalities", has increased from 286 to 2239.
Statistic, but only in Japanese as always... (http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/saikin/hw/jinkou/suii00/marr2.html)

There were no playstation or MUJI in the UK 30 yrs ago, or fewer Brit teachers here, (just my image, for I don't know eikaiwa schools), so it was just the image or metaphor on Japan or Japanese stuffs in the movie.

[Mike Cash]

Good-looking outgoing personality hairy-chested masculine W-guys are most desired and taken by W-girls,no need for them sought attention from foreign women or go mate-shopping in Japan or Far East.
Hit the nail on the coffin.:-)

Astounding. Your sterotyped racial repugnancy knows no bounds.

[Mike Cash]

Tokyo is not known for having the most beautiful women anyway.

As someone who spends waaaay too many hours each and every week crawling along through Tokyo traffic at the same time a very large number of women are abroad on the sidewalks, I would have to respectfully disagree.

[ArmandV]

Tokyo is not known for having the most beautiful women anyway. Thanks for your post and opinions.

Unless I was seeing mirages when in Tokyo, I thought the women there were gorgeous.

[ArmandV]

I didn't notice the pigeon toed so much as just being plain bow legged!

I have video of people on the streets in Shibuya I took two years ago and about 2-3 girls were walking pigeon-toed. None walked bow-legged.

[Kinsao]

Well, I don't know anything about this because I've never asked any Western/Caucasian men why they married a Japanese wife, but I'm saying my view anyway because I'm obnoxious like that.

-- Could be because the guy moved to Japan, happened to meet a Japanese girl (no surprise there, then!) and they fell in love and got married.

-- Or perhaps the girl was attracted to the guy because he was all hairy and "manly"! Umm, superficial much... but I think y'all know what I'm saying... actually this point (and the next one) is a bit like my first point except that in these cases the attraction was based on looks, not personality.

-- Maybe he was attracted to the girl cos she was littler/cuter/prettier than the majority of women he'd met in his home country.

-- Maybe the guy had the stereotype of Japanese women being more "feminine" and/or more submissive than Caucasian women, and deliberately sought out a Japanese lady (even if he didn't live in Japan). Well, this kind of relationship is really shallow, but in some cases it can (and does) lead to a marriage, so it can't be completely discounted as a "reason" for such marriage. .............. Even though this really isn't true these days! (I think some guys are living in the past a bit... O.o) ......... Oh, and this also includes those with an "Asian girl fetish", which are pretty rare IRL I think, but not unheard of.

-- Maybe the girl wants to marry him if he is rich, and she didn't find a Japanese boyfriend with money or good career prospects. Again, way shallow, but not impossible.

-- One good point many people made already - the world is getting to be a smaller place, communications are getting better, people do more travelling, so quite simply it's easier to meet people from different countries. Also, better communications help to break down stereotypes about people from other cultures. ............ This doesn't explain why there are more Caucasianmale-Japanesefemale couples than vice versa, but I can only say that the other way round relationships are also more common now than they would have been 50 years ago. Maybe because even in Western countries women didn't have so much freedom until recently, so they are still "in the process" of becoming more "exotic" in their choices of partners? :?

-- Another good point is about mutual interest in each other's country / culture, which could lead 2 people of different cultures to a closer relationship under circumstances where they might not otherwise have struck up a relationship at all (e.g. at work, and if the girl or guy is not striking in the looks department, you might not have given him / her a second glance in a bar, for example, but if you were interested in their culture or language you might make a special effort to talk to them in the work place, leading to a friendship and possible relationship).

-- I can't think of any more. :sorry:

[DoctorP]

As someone who spends waaaay too many hours each and every week crawling along through Tokyo traffic at the same time a very large number of women are abroad on the sidewalks, I would have to respectfully disagree.

I didn't mean to say that there are no beautiful women in Tokyo...there obviously are. I was referring more to the ones who are born there. Quite a few people who live in Tokyo, move there for work and obvious other reasons. I would go into more detail, but I'm still a little groggy right now...maybe later.

Unless I was seeing mirages when in Tokyo, I thought the women there were gorgeous.

Ah, yes, but see my reply to MikeCash.

I have video of people on the streets in Shibuya I took two years ago and about 2-3 girls were walking pigeon-toed. None walked bow-legged.

You can't actually walk bow-legged....you are bow-legged. But I understand what you are saying.

[ArmandV]

You can't actually walk bow-legged....you are bow-legged. But I understand what you are saying.

Obviously you haven't watched many Westerns. ;)

Maybe you can put "knock-kneed" in the pigeon-toe category?

[DoctorP]

Obviously you haven't watched many Westerns. ;)



You must not know me that well!!!:relief:

[ArmandV]

You must not know me that well!!!:relief:


Looks like it.

I'll have to dig out my video from last April of Shibuya to see who is pigeon-toed, knock-kneed or bow-legged. I found a nice sitting spot (strangely, in front of a soapland) there under a tree where I could have a nice cold drink, a cigar and just people-watch.

[Revenant]

Just read the first page, and I saw a few people mentioning that Japanese women are a bit more subservient than their American counterparts. On the surface this might appear true, but it more seems that the American women make a big deal over a lot of things, while the Japanese women seem to pick their battles wisely, and patiently talk the husband/boyfriend around to her way of thinking.

It almost seems that they have figured that if they acquisce to most of the husband's demands and wishes, that the husband will feel in control, and so it will be easier for the women to maintain control over the more important issues.

[yukio_michael]

Not so sure about that. Personally I find that too many Northern European girls lack femininity. They usually want to behave like men, get the same jobs as men, do the same sports as men, be as strong (for authority) as men, wear too many jeans/trousers, etc. Japanese women tend to know better how to dress well and be sexy. Italian girls, and some French girls (maybe more in the South), are closer to the Japanese, but still not as feminine.It's the same here in the United States, where I think there is this sort of "Maxim" (a men's magazine modeled after the English "Lads Mags" which are the embodiment of imature humour and bikini models...) culture... This sort of culture that dictates that men only want feminine women when it comes to sex, that women are strictly sexual objects and when they are not being used for sex, they are anoying because of their characteristics of being a woman.

It's created this crass manwhich eating, butt-scratching, baseball cap wearing, yelling in the street, beer swilling female coed type which makes Rosanne Barr look positively feminine in comparison.

~ But, okay okay... can we all at least agree that this t-shirt is the most achingly lonely and sad thing you've ever seen....

http://www.pcrdist.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/jap-gf-ver2-black.jpg

...we can agree on that much, can't we?

It almost seems that they have figured that if they acquisce to most of the husband's demands and wishes, that the husband will feel in control, and so it will be easier for the women to maintain control over the more important issues.I think women have been doing this throughout the world, throughout history for oh say, the past four thousand years.

[Thunderthief]

It depends on your area, but its true its rare anymore to see american women wear dresses except in special events. Most dress exactly like the men, I have actually seen a few women that I mistook for men.

Kind of disturbing... but I think thats because this country doesnt enforce school uniforms, except in private schools anyway and women get the idea that there suppose to dress like men.

This wasn't true in the 50's but that was a time period when the country had different ethics. Radical movements by the blacks, hippies and women pretty much destroyed feminine modesty in the U.S.

[ArmandV]

It depends on your area, but its true its rare anymore to see american women wear dresses except in special events. Most dress exactly like the men, I have actually seen a few women that I mistook for men.
Kind of disturbing... but I think thats because this country doesnt enforce school uniforms, except in private schools anyway and women get the idea that there suppose to dress like men.
This wasn't true in the 50's but that was a time period when the country had different ethics. Radical movements by the blacks, hippies and women pretty much destroyed feminine modesty in the U.S.

Back in the 1980s, the late, great Johnny Carson did a skit/monologue as "Floyd R. Turbo" doing an editorial rebuttal. It went like this:

"Today, women want to act, look and dress like men. They claim they are for women's liberation.

But they don't want to be liberated. They want to be lesbians!

Well, if they want to be lesbians, let them be lesbians!

Then they'll know how hard it is to pick up chicks!"

[ricecake]

Your sterotyped racial repugnancy knows no bounds.





Isn't astounishing to you,there are some Caucasian females do prefer " hairy chested " manly cute Caucasian guy ? !

I've personally met a few young American women boasted their honey having lots of " hair " there.:wave:

[kirei_na_me]

Just read the first page, and I saw a few people mentioning that Japanese women are a bit more subservient than their American counterparts. On the surface this might appear true, but it more seems that the American women make a big deal over a lot of things, while the Japanese women seem to pick their battles wisely, and patiently talk the husband/boyfriend around to her way of thinking.

It almost seems that they have figured that if they acquisce to most of the husband's demands and wishes, that the husband will feel in control, and so it will be easier for the women to maintain control over the more important issues.

Precisely. This is what not many people really know...or don't want to admit.

[ricecake]

There are many classy beautiful feminine professional Caucasian women in America.:cool:

These modern American women are extremely sexy in tailor made 3-piece skirt-suit.

[kirei_na_me]

Thank you, ricecake. I think so too. I like to think that I'm pretty feminine. Actually, I kind of pride myself on being so. Not all of us want to be men... :okashii:

[Ma Cherie]

It depends on your area, but its true its rare anymore to see american women wear dresses except in special events. Most dress exactly like the men, I have actually seen a few women that I mistook for men.
Kind of disturbing... but I think thats because this country doesnt enforce school uniforms, except in private schools anyway and women get the idea that there suppose to dress like men.
This wasn't true in the 50's but that was a time period when the country had different ethics. Radical movements by the blacks, hippies and women pretty much destroyed feminine modesty in the U.S.


Rare to see American women wear dresses? As far as I can tell American women still wear dresses, and mini skirts, I wear mini skirts every once in awhile. Now, explain to me what you meant by your last sentence, what do you mean that the feminine modesty is destroyed by blacks, hippies, and women? Are you talking about the feminist movement? And another thing, women and young girls are bombarded everyday with images in the media on how they should look. And as far as I can tell, we're being told to look feminine.

[Kinsao]

I feel kind of puzzled and half-way to being offended by the suggestion that women who are wearing trousers are somehow not being feminine enough, or are trying to be manly. :souka: Personally, I very rarely wear skirts, and it's even more rare for me to wear a dress. I find trousers to be comfortable and practical. Plus, I don't have very good legs. For me, trousers for the win! :cool:

Seriously, women wearing trousers has absolutely no connection with women dressing like men or trying to look and behave like men. Are you living in the dark ages?! I don't know about other countries, but in the UK, trousers started to become more acceptable wear for women after the War, during which women had to work on the land, in factories, and in other jobs traditionally done by men, and for which trousers were much more practical. They've been a mainstream part of women's fashion for decades. Besides, there are many very feminine styles of trousers!

I'm sorry - this is rather offtopic. :gomen: But as a woman who hardly ever "dresses feminine", I resent thinking that people might stereotype me as a lesbian or a "wannabe man". :okashii:

[ArmandV]

Besides, there are many very feminine styles of trousers!

I'm sorry - this is rather offtopic. :gomen: But as a woman who hardly ever "dresses feminine", I resent thinking that people might stereotype me as a lesbian or a "wannabe man". :okashii:

I have no problem with women wearing slacks. You are quite correct, there are feminine slacks.

Talk about things that used to be "manly." Although it's been going on for a while, still, I really find tatoos on women to be unbecoming.

[Nana007]

I'm an american female who dresses very "GIRLY" in a sense. I love dresses skirts, heals. In fact I have more dresses and skirts in my wardrobe than pants.

[ricecake]

Most dress exactly like the men,I have actually seen a few women that I mistook for men.

This wasn't true in the 50's but that was a time period when the country had different ethics.





I've ran into one American male with make-up and " bras " in one-piece floral-dress at a local stamp show,I mistook him for a woman.There is one Japanese supermarket chain Mitsuwa I regular,Japanese female employees and shoppers there wear pants rarely seen in dresses.They look average " janes ",absolutely nothing sexy about them.

Those were the " good old days " according to some die-hard conservatives lost in time capsule.It was the last decade,American females put up with unconditional philandering and submissive social status.

[Mars Man]

I wonder where this thread is wandering off to? hee, hee, hee....
There are some theories; one fairly (note: to a greater than 50/50 degree) good one can be found in the book Eve's Seed. Of course, it has nothing to do with non-Japanese males marrying Japanese females, so. . .

[DoctorP]

Could you guys stay on topic please? IF you want to talk about femininity then start your own thread.

[Uncle Frank]

I feel kind of puzzled and half-way to being offended by the suggestion that women who are wearing trousers are somehow not being feminine enough, or are trying to be manly. :souka: Personally, I very rarely wear skirts, and it's even more rare for me to wear a dress. I find trousers to be comfortable and practical. Plus, I don't have very good legs. For me, trousers for the win! :cool:

Seriously, women wearing trousers has absolutely no connection with women dressing like men or trying to look and behave like men. Are you living in the dark ages?! I don't know about other countries, but in the UK, trousers started to become more acceptable wear for women after the War, during which women had to work on the land, in factories, and in other jobs traditionally done by men, and for which trousers were much more practical. They've been a mainstream part of women's fashion for decades. Besides, there are many very feminine styles of trousers!

I'm sorry - this is rather offtopic. :gomen: But as a woman who hardly ever "dresses feminine", I resent thinking that people might stereotype me as a lesbian or a "wannabe man". :okashii:

I'd love ya regardless of what you wear or don't wear you beauty you !

:cool: :bluush: :relief: :-)

[Mars Man]

Go get 'em Frank !! (sorry CC1...I just had to add that little off-topic bit; please excuse me.) MM

[ghettocities]

Frank please adopt me and then put me in a home for troubled youth, your avatar rocks my not-loose socks.


Josh

[sabro]

Rock, I don't know if you were being sarcastic and I can't speak for Europeans, but in the US, calling a "caucasian" person "white" is not considered derogatory or insulting. And even though "African American" is currently a more acceptable term, "black" is still considered okay. I don't know why calling an asian "yellow" or a Native American "red" is unacceptable, but they are for now. The terms are always loaded and are totally socio-political constructs with lots of strings attached. I wouldnt try to apply logic to it.

[epigene]

I feel kind of puzzled and half-way to being offended by the suggestion that women who are wearing trousers are somehow not being feminine enough, or are trying to be manly. :souka: Personally, I very rarely wear skirts, and it's even more rare for me to wear a dress. I find trousers to be comfortable and practical. Plus, I don't have very good legs. For me, trousers for the win! :cool:

I'm sorry - this is rather offtopic. :gomen: But as a woman who hardly ever "dresses feminine", I resent thinking that people might stereotype me as a lesbian or a "wannabe man". :okashii:

Yeah, Yeah!!　Go, go, Kinsao! I'm a trouser-person and so is my daughter. No one's ever questioned our femininity! :yeahh:

@sabro-san,
Welcome back, sabro-san! :cool:

[Revenant]

I don't know why calling an asian "yellow" or a Native American "red" is unacceptable, but they are for now.Hello Sabro! I'm Native American, and other Native Americans call my bro and I red apples, cause we look Native American on the outside, but we're supposedly more white on the inside. Not sure why they think that. Agreeing with your point though, I don't think I would take well to a non-Native American calling me red.

[epigene]

I don't know why calling an asian "yellow" or a Native American "red" is unacceptable, but they are for now. The terms are always loaded and are totally socio-political constructs with lots of strings attached. I wouldnt try to apply logic to it.
Yes, I've heard that "red" is derogatory. Regarding "yellow," I think the negativism developed with the "Yellow Peril" propaganda in the William Randolph Hearst papers? :?

[ricecake]

Why is it Western men who usually marry Japanese women, much more than the reverse ? I believe that this is simply because Caucasians have more accentuated genetical and cultural characteristics, while Asian cultures (and genetic types) are more feminine.





Hmmmm .... But,majority Caucasian guys married to Japanese ( or other East Asian females ) are wimpy-looking type and less masculine than those very manly ones with Caucasian females.

Northern-stock East Asian peoples ( Japanese,northern Chinese,and Koreans ) are " war-like " and macho,there is nothing feminine about those men.

[Dutch Baka]

~ But, okay okay... can we all at least agree that this t-shirt is the most achingly lonely and sad thing you've ever seen....

http://www.pcrdist.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/jap-gf-ver2-black.jpg

...we can agree on that much, can't we?

No I can't because I can't read Kanji... so please provide a translation, when posting Japanese text in the Non-Japanese language section! thank you in advance

[bobchiin]

Hi Everyone
Just got caught up on the postings. Looks like it has veered off from
Asian wives and caucasion husbands. I don't agree that we are wimps
or that in some way we are unable to marry a caucasion woman. I think
we just made a choice, just as every does when they get married. I feel
a little sorry for the people that can't accept that. I look at the world
as being populated by people, and I see nothing more wrong with a German
marrying an Italian than I see with an American marrying a Japanese.

[gaijinalways]

Just read the first page, and I saw a few people mentioning that Japanese women are a bit more subservient than their American counterparts. On the surface this might appear true, but it more seems that the American women make a big deal over a lot of things, while the Japanese women seem to pick their battles wisely, and patiently talk the husband/boyfriend around to her way of thinking.
Not sure you have met my Japanese wife!
It almost seems that they have figured that if they acquisce to most of the husband's demands and wishes, that the husband will feel in control, and so it will be easier for the women to maintain control over the more important issues.
Well, I wish it was so, but I don't feel it's like that! As to the thread falling off, well, feminity issues are sometimes related to why Westerners sometimes enjoy dating Japanese women. Some guys like women that are on the surface more femine, and certainly look after members of their family, almost slavishly (and compulsively). I suppose though it's better than those who just block the family out.

[Mikawa Ossan]

~ But, okay okay... can we all at least agree that this t-shirt is the most achingly lonely and sad thing you've ever seen....

http://www.pcrdist.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/jap-gf-ver2-black.jpg

...we can agree on that much, can't we?

You can replace the "Japanese" with any other 'race' and it would be equally as pathetic if you ask me. Which is pretty much how I feel about this whole conversation.

But then again, what business is it of mine or yours who other random people date and get married to?

[DoctorP]

Hi Everyone
Just got caught up on the postings. Looks like it has veered off from
Asian wives and caucasion husbands. I don't agree that we are wimps
or that in some way we are unable to marry a caucasion woman. I think
we just made a choice, just as every does when they get married. I feel
a little sorry for the people that can't accept that. I look at the world
as being populated by people, and I see nothing more wrong with a German
marrying an Italian than I see with an American marrying a Japanese.


No one said anything was wrong with it. And the topic is not specifically causasian men....the topic was foreigners in general. Also note that we are not lumping all together. I know quite a few men who married Japanese women and they are quite masculine, very muscular, and manly. On the flip side, I have seen quite a few who probably never had a date until they came to Japan. The examples given in my previous post were merely some observations that were relayed to me and I thought that I would seek other peoples opinions.

[Elizabeth]

You can replace the "Japanese" with any other 'race' and it would be equally as pathetic if you ask me. Which is pretty much how I feel about this whole conversation.
But then again, what business is it of mine or yours who other random people date and get married to?
Without any mention of race, simply I'm in (on) the market for a lover ( 恋人募集中' ) is pitiable enough unless you're seeking to narrow the field to someone like yourself.

Maybe this thread has clarified why I haven't married an American, come to think of it, I hardly ever wear a skirt or shout across the street aka Rosanne Barr. :p

[gaijinalways]

No worries, you probably just notice the ones who do that more easily. Believe me, there are plenty of quiet American women (men too), you just don't notice them as readily!

[yukio_michael]

No I can't because I can't read Kanji... so please provide a translation, when posting Japanese text in the Non-Japanese language section! thank you in advanceI knew I was going to get burned for that one....

日本人彼女募集中
nihonjin kanojo boshu-chu

(a japanese person) her/pronoun. (coloquial use = girlfriend) recruiting/taking applications-am doing.

"Currently accepting applications for a Japanese girlfriend."

If you wanted to make this into a desperate t-shirt for women, you could replace kanojo, with kareshi... (or kare... I'm not sure which is prefered)...

日本人彼氏募集中
nihonjin kareshi boshu-chu.

[bobchiin]

No one said anything was wrong with it. And the topic is not specifically causasian men....the topic was foreigners in general. Also note that we are not lumping all together. I know quite a few men who married Japanese women and they are quite masculine, very muscular, and manly. On the flip side, I have seen quite a few who probably never had a date until they came to Japan. The examples given in my previous post were merely some observations that were relayed to me and I thought that I would seek other peoples opinions.


You are right on all counts and I bow to your wisdom.:redface:

[thistle]

As a western foreigner having been married to a japanese man for a long
time, I would just like to add something to the discussion here. This whole forum seems to be pretty male dominated so I rarely post.
I don't know about from the western male side, but if i was a japanese female I think I would love the chance to marry a western male.
They are more equal in all sense of a relationship, more sensitive, and will help
with the house chores without being asked. They will not have to say 'otsukare sama' 'o shigoto ganbatte kudasai' and 'karada ki o tsukete'
every day! It is something that is taken for granted in an equal relationship.

[Mars Man]

This whole forum seems to be pretty male dominated so I rarely post.


Oh, thistle san, that sounds like a great reason to post more !!! and more !!! :cool: :cool: :-)

[misa.j]

One thing I'm sure about is that a marriage involves more responsibilities and greater commitment than just dating someone. For interacial married couples, things can get even more complex; legal procedures which can be a hassle, changes and adjustments that both parties need to make, keeping contact with the families who live overseas etc, so it seems to me that there are more solid reasons for the original question plus what have been brought up already.

They are more equal in all sense of a relationship, more sensitive, and will help with the house chores without being asked.
Yeah, it seems rare to see Japanese men voluntarily doing house chores, although my father sometimes cooked whatever he liked to eat for the whole family.

[Kyoko_desu]

Yeah, it seems rare to see Japanese men voluntarily doing house chores, although my father sometimes cooked whatever he liked to eat for the whole family.

Really?:shock:
Hmmmm, sorry but maybe you have been away from Japan too long?

I know quite many young Japanese husbands who do the house chores.For example, one of my friends' husband cooks, puts out the garbages, cleans bathrooms and so on. He babysits their kids when his wife goes out with her friends and enjoys karaoke all night.

One reason is, in recent years, more and more housewives work outside of home. Please take a look at this chart.

http://www.gender.go.jp/whitepaper/h15/summary/danjyo/html/zuhyo/img/fig01_02_06.jpg
The green line shows the numbers of the households of working husbands and nonworking wives, and the red one, those of dual income family. Back in the year of Shouwa 55, which is about 25 years ago, the number of the working mothers are way far less than that of the stay-at-home-and-only-do-the-housechores mothers, but in the year of Heisei 14, 4 years ago from now, we have more working mothers than nonworking ones.

This chart can also shows the reason why husbands of 25 years ago didn't help the housechores, can't it? If you are a married woman, having no job and stay at home all the time, then you don't really need your husband's help with your housechore, do you? It's only fair to me.

Originally Posted by ricecake
Definitely,Japanese women are still traditional and subservient ( is better word ) to some agree compare to some of those outspoken,loud,and bitchy American women. I've seen my white-neighbors's white-wife could bossed,yelled,and talked to her husband like a " puppy " before my very eyes.About some (white?) American women loudly bitching out at their husbands in front of other people, I don't ever see it's any proof of thier equal rights. It's just their mental problem, or the lack of respect, just like some guys hitting their wives or girlfriends, that's not male chauvinism , but Domestic Violence, which is done all over the world including Japan and the US, caused by thier mental problems. And I believe not all the American couples are like that.

Originally Posted by ricecake
Most American women are assertive, demanding and domineering, absolutely have no fear speak their mind.I don't have fear speak my mind either, I mean, why should I? And I'm a quite normal Japanese girl.

As a whole society, Japanese women are still not treated equally, because it's still difficult for a woman to be promoted in a company or to become Prime Minister. However, we DO have some female company presidents and female Diet members nowadays. Yes, we have been changing gradually.
And in personal relationship, I think Japanese women are no longer that subservient, I think we are now quite equal to men.

[Tyshepp]

All spilt-tails are created equal!

[ricecake]

About some American women loudly bitching out at their husbands in front of other people,I don't ever see it's any proof of their equal rights.It's just their mental problem,or the lack of respect.

And in personal relationship, I think Japanese women are no longer that subservient,I think we are now quite equal to men.




I over-dramatized the example aforementioned,those actions are best described as DEMANDING and DOMINEERING.My personal Asian female-friends dare behave that way rather are semi-house-slave to their Caucasian-American husbands,many don't do house chores and would babysit on few occasions only as they please.I've seen and heard their hubby have shown disrespects toward them,most of these marriages are in misery.

Yourself as young modern Japanese girl,any insights on Japanese women inside Japan are welcomed in this thread as we need to have more balanced views from different spectrum.

[Tyshepp]

All women are beautiful. I don't understand this whole topic.

[bobchiin]

All of my 36 years in Japan have been in Okinawa, though I have visited mainland Japan on occasion. I sometimes foolishly mislead myself into believing that I have gained some wisdom in all those years. So.....here I go putting my foot into my mouth again.

There are exceptions to everything, and the situation is improving, but Japanese women are still 2nd class citizens in their own country in many ways. I believe that Japanese women in their long, long fight to be equal with Japanese men are more willing, not neccessarily excepting, to look at situations with an open mind. Whereas the Japanese men have the more stuck in a rut, "That's the way it was, that's the way it should be." attitude. Japanese marriages are changing and the men are doing more household chores, but the largest contributing factor to that has been the shift to two household wage earners and the fact that it is impossible for the woman to do everything at the house and hold a full time job also. Affection isn't shown openly in most Japanese couples with the exception of some young couples, but that changes as they grow older and become more indoctrinated into the way "good" Japanese act. I have been shocked many times at the callous attitude many Japanese men show to and about their wives. I've asked many Japanese men to list for me in order the most important things in their life. Nine out of ten times their wives were not even in the top three! The top three normally being: their jobs, their dokyusei (classmates), and drinking. Also, the duties involved for a Japanese wife, particularly of a first born Japanese man, are difficult to say the least. She will be responsible for his parents as they grow older and will also have to take care of the butsudan (ancestor shrine), though this system is slowly falling apart. I had (notice the had) a Japanese friend who was married for over ten years. He and his wife had three daughters and his mother lived with them in the same house. When his wife became pregnant again the mother of this "man" told him to tell his wife that this was her last chance. If she didn't have a boy this time then they were getting divorced. And, of course, this is exactly what he told his wife. When I found out what had happened, his wife reluctantly told me when I found her crying one day, I told him "Omai wa ningen janai" (You are not human).
So given all of this I don't think that it is surprising that Japanese women will at least consider marrying a foreigner.
I'll step way out on a limb, that you all can proceed to snap out from under me, by giving a partial list of what I think might attract a Japanese woman to a foreign man.
They think foreign men are:
kind
loving and affectionate
faithful
exotic
escape

As for foreign men, really I can only speak for myself. I find women from around the world attractive. That isn't to say that I don't have specific tastes, because I do. Simple and plain, Asian women turn me on. I came to Japan, so I married a Japanese woman, if I had went to Korea I might have found a Korean woman I wanted to marry, I don't know. Here is my list for what foreign men might believe of Japanese women.
Foreign men think that Japanese women are:
cute
sexy
shy
exotic
non aggressive
good homemakers
sweet
So there it is. Have fun.

[Tyshepp]

I can understand putting the drinking part in the top priorities. But ya gotta have ya old hen up there too for crying out loud! She gotta put ya to bed and throw salt at the evil spirits for ya when the drinking catch up to ya.

jeez Louise!

[ArmandV]

It is funny how allegedly Japanese men don't list their women in the top three since I've heard (and observed) that Japanese men are helpless without a wife.

[thistle]

I don't think japanese women think foreign men are any more faithful than
japanese men, do they?

[bobchiin]

It is funny how allegedly Japanese men don't list their women in the top three since I've heard (and observed) that Japanese men are helpless without a wife.

Oh, it is true that most Japanese men are quite helpless without a female around, at least as far as clothes, food and getting them some tea are corcerned. It's just that any woman will suffice for that, mother, sister, lover, co-worker are are all just as good. Still specifically wives very seldom fall into a high priority for what is important in their lives. I respect what you say you have observed, and I did say there were exceptions, but the next time you are here in Japan why don't you try doing your own survey. What you thought you knew might be changed.

[bobchiin]

I don't think japanese women think foreign men are any more faithful than
japanese men, do they?

I will readily admit that there are unfaithful men worldwide. But in most cultures having extramarital affairs are at the least disrespectful of your wife. In Japan, it is the norm to have an affair, almost expected of the man. If you were a Japanese woman wouldn't you think foreign men were possibly more faithful?
Still, I am not a Japanese female, or any kind of female for that matter, until we have a real Japanese woman voice her opinion we won't know.

[gaijinalways]

Yes, Japanese men in general have unusual attitudes toward women, though in their defense, younger men are sometimes changing. Some attitudes that you often see/hear about are;

Men who think that hitting their wife at home is okay (out of sight, out of mind).

Men who think that wives should wait until they get home to eat dinner together, no matter how late late the husbamd comes home.

Men who think that women should be given enough for the budget and not anymore.

Men who think that doing something with their wife on the weekend is not their idea of a good time.

Men who think having their wives work is shameful.

Still wonder why some Japanese women prefer to marry someone else besides Japanese men.

[ricecake]

I had a Japanese friend who was married for over ten years. He and his wife had three daughters and his mother lived with them in the same house.When his wife became pregnant again the mother of this "man" told him to tell his wife that this was her last chance.If she didn't have a boy this time then they were getting divorced.





Was this couple native Okinawan or REAL Japanese from the mainland ?

Native Okinawans share alot of Chinese cultural similiarities,this is exact mindset of some old-school Chinese folks.My limited knowledge and observation,I don't think Japanese insist on having sons in the family.

[ricecake]

Still wonder why some Japanese women prefer to marry someone else besides Japanese men.





Don't you think we should also entertain the flip-side of this question for a more rounded perspective,why some of them aren't wanted by Japanese men.

There are many thousand yearly inter-marriages between Japanese women and the other 2 East Asian nationalities,the total number is either equal or greater than the ones end up with Caucasians.

[pipokun]

Yes, Japanese men in general have unusual attitudes toward women, though in their defense, younger men are sometimes changing. Some attitudes that you often see/hear about are;
Men who think that hitting their wife at home is okay (out of sight, out of mind).
Men who think that wives should wait until they get home to eat dinner together, no matter how late late the husbamd comes home.
Men who think that women should be given enough for the budget and not anymore.
Men who think that doing something with their wife on the weekend is not their idea of a good time.
Men who think having their wives work is shameful.
Still wonder why some Japanese women prefer to marry someone else besides Japanese men.
I bet you'd be honered with a Nobel love affair award if you find the answer why you choose your partner. But before that, you've got to doubt the hearsay...

[ArmandV]

Oh, it is true that most Japanese men are quite helpless without a female around, at least as far as clothes, food and getting them some tea are corcerned. It's just that any woman will suffice for that, mother, sister, lover, co-worker are are all just as good. Still specifically wives very seldom fall into a high priority for what is important in their lives. I respect what you say you have observed, and I did say there were exceptions, but the next time you are here in Japan why don't you try doing your own survey. What you thought you knew might be changed.

Well, when in Japan I have better things to do than take surveys on "helpless" Japanese men. I have a lot of Japanese friends and business associates, some of which were "between marriages" at some point and they seemed to have fallen apart once wifey has flown the coop and they have to find themselves another spouse.

Naturally, there are always exceptions. But friends here also noticed the same thing, some of whom lived in Japan before.

[ricecake]

Generally im not attracted to most Japanese girls,but most of them (im not saying ALL) are flat chested and figure wise look like there about 12 years old... and thats just well... nevermind.





Honesty can save one from unneccesary emotional entanglement in WM/AF relationship,this brings back one story once told by an old acquintance of mine.She accompanied her sister ( who was in process of divorce ) to local court,recalled the American ( of European-descent ) husband's ruthless sarcastic sniping remark was " she's got small boobs " for the reason he filed the divorce petition.:D

[ArmandV]

Honesty can save one from unneccesary emotional entanglement in WM/AF relationship,this brings back one story once told by an old acquintance of mine.She accompanied her sister ( who was in process of divorce ) to local court,recalled the American ( of European-descent ) husband's ruthless sarcastic sniping remark was " she's got small boobs " for the reason he filed the divorce petition.:D

That is a lame reason for filing a divorce petition. He knew she had small boobs before he married her. Unless she had silicone implants and removed them...:p

[Dutch Baka]

wow... 4 pages for this subject....

[Ewok85]

Still wonder why some Japanese women prefer to marry someone else besides Japanese men.

I bet you'd be honered with a Nobel love affair award if you find the answer why you choose your partner. But before that, you've got to doubt the hearsay...

I don't doubt the hearsay, I know its all too true. My girlfriend stopped dating Japanese boys after some bad experiences. I know plenty of women who are pressured by the things that gaijinalways said. I have seen many situations where the idea of marrying someone for not being Japanese is rationalised.
(Same time I've seen some Japanese marriages that are going fantasically well - YMMV).

[bobchiin]

Well, when in Japan I have better things to do than take surveys on "helpless" Japanese men. I have a lot of Japanese friends and business associates, some of which were "between marriages" at some point and they seemed to have fallen apart once wifey has flown the coop and they have to find themselves another spouse.
Naturally, there are always exceptions. But friends here also noticed the same thing, some of whom lived in Japan before.

Well, thank you for helping to prove my point! I never said that Japanese wives were not important to their husbands. I said that when I asked them,
they rarely ranked their wife in the top three of importance. So, obviously if your Japanese pals had had a higher priority on their wives, had thought they were important in their lives, therefore spending more time with them instead of running around with you then their wifey wouldn't "have flown the coop". And if their wives had been a little more important to them [B]while[B] they were married then maybe they would have never fallen apart and have to find another wifey.

I do take back my request for you to do your own survey. I definitely would not want you to cause an international incident by asking "helpless" Japanese men a simple question.

I do not claim to be an expert in all things Japanese. I do have my opinions. In fact, I am quite opinionated sometimes. What I do have is experience, a lot of it. I have lived, ate, drank, slept, drove, worked, and spoke Japanese in Japan with Japanese for the past 36 years. Now, if you and all of your friends added together can even claim half of that time, then I might change my opinion. But I doubt it. Because, after all, what I originally stated was based on questions that I asked Japanese men.

[bobchiin]

Was this couple native Okinawan or REAL Japanese from the mainland ?
Native Okinawans share alot of Chinese cultural similiarities,this is exact mindset of some old-school Chinese folks.My limited knowledge and observation,I don't think Japanese insist on having sons in the family.

:nihonjin: That Real in front of Japanese could get you in trouble...

The couple was both Okinawa born. His mother though was from mainland Japan. Where I don't know. I believe that until very recently areas of mainland Japan (especially rural areas and Okinawa) were rigid in their requirements for a first born son. Maybe someone else can shed some light on this. I do know that of the about 600(yeah, all of Japan performs fewer adoptions than any one state in the US) registered adoptions performed in Japan each year, virtually all of them are for the purpose of what the Japanese call "yoshii". It is kind of a fill in first born son. These adopted sons are not orphans but usually related to the adopting family in some way.
After all, it's the "blood" that's important. Average age is normally around twenty.

A footnote on the above story: The baby was a son. The family was still together the last time I saw them, but not happily, at least for the wife's part.

[ArmandV]

Well, thank you for helping to prove my point! I never said that Japanese wives were not important to their husbands. I said that when I asked them,
they rarely ranked their wife in the top three of importance. So, obviously if your Japanese pals had had a higher priority on their wives, had thought they were important in their lives, therefore spending more time with them instead of running around with you then their wifey wouldn't "have flown the coop". And if their wives had been a little more important to them [B]while[B] they were married then maybe they would have never fallen apart and have to find another wifey.
I do take back my request for you to do your own survey. I definitely would not want you to cause an international incident by asking "helpless" Japanese men a simple question.
I do not claim to be an expert in all things Japanese. I do have my opinions. In fact, I am quite opinionated sometimes. What I do have is experience, a lot of it. I have lived, ate, drank, slept, drove, worked, and spoke Japanese in Japan with Japanese for the past 36 years. Now, if you and all of your friends added together can even claim half of that time, then I might change my opinion. But I doubt it. Because, after all, what I originally stated was based on questions that I asked Japanese men.

You may have hung out with a different community than I. The Japanese I primarily know are movie industry people. There may be a whole different mind-set there. But, as I said, I know other gaijin who have associated with Japanese people and have lived there also noticed what I mentioned.

[yukio_michael]

wow... 4 pages for this subject....It seems troublesome to me that people actually have to defend why people like or dislike another ethnic group... We know why there are more gaijin dating Japanese girls, we covered this... do we really need to know their motives?

[sabro]

My mother's family is Japanese... from Yamaguchi. My grandparents came the US about 100 years ago and had 10 children. Seven survived to adulthood and six of them married other Japanese Americans. My mother was the only exception. Of the next generation, only one cousin out of about 18 of us grandchildren married anyone that was Japanese. "Outmarriage" among sansei and yonsei in the US is far more common than in-marriage.

[leonmarino]

wow... 4 pages for this subject....
Yeah, I can't believe it either!! This must be the most popular thread currently.. :relief:

[gaijinalways]

Don't you think we should also entertain the flip-side of this question for a more rounded perspective,why some of them aren't wanted by Japanese men.


We could, and a few are nutcases, or just too assertive according to Japanese cultural standards for women, but generally from what I have found is that many of these men are living in the past when women were slaves to the man's salary.

[Revenant]

.......slaves to the man's salary.Not that a lot of Japanese wives mind. With a hubby that is almost never home, and having control of the purse strings, heck, she gets to a lot of cafes, restaurants, movies, gets a bit of shopping in, and generally just enjoys life.

[ricecake]

I've briefly known a Taiwanese gal ( was a family guess for 2 weeks at my parents' home ) fluent in Japanese and had college education in Japan told us in casual chat most Japanese women choose not to work after marriage rather stay home raise children and enjoy life,this was some years ago.

She also said,Japanese women aren't like what foreigners stereotype them to be.

[Maciamo]

Northern-stock East Asian peoples ( Japanese,northern Chinese,and Koreans ) are " war-like " and macho,there is nothing feminine about those men.

Sorry but modern Japanese men are nothing like the virile samurai of erstwhile (well, if there are, they are few and far between). Many young Japanese are shy, reserved and submissive (more so than young women). They tend to care as much about their clothes as women (or gay men). Physically they are shorter, less muscluar, less hairy and have less prominent male features (eybrow, nose, chin, shoulders...) than Caucasian men (in average, of course - no need to take extreme cases). Even their skin is more female-like (smoother, thinner, less rugged).

Like all Japanese in general, Japanese men are not very good (and that is a euphemism) at debating assertively and arguing logically, which are essential traits of masculinity. Just look at parliamentary debates on Japanese TV, the old "respectable" lawmakers often end up hitting each others like in a girl-fight, because they lack the masculine cold-bloodedness and emotional restraint. Compare it with a debate at the British parliament to see the world of difference, despite both nations being famous for their politeness. British politicians have such restraint that even the most acrimonious remark is said with a stiff upper-lip.

So please tell me what in so "macho" or virile about modern Japanese men (and to some extent other East Asian men).

[RockLee]

Maybe she means those guys that hang out in the streets? :?

[ricecake]

Precisely. This is what not many people really know...or don't want to admit.





It feeds some people's egos.:wave:

Well,those of us in the know NOT sarcastic enough consistently tell it bluntly in person and cyberspace to overturn those myths and dispel some male individuals' romanticism of little cute Madamn Butterfly.My posts in this thread have done some damage to male egos of several fellow forumers,I am on their enemy list.:D

[doinkies]

It feeds some people's egos.:wave:
Well,those of us in the know NOT sarcastic enough consistently tell it bluntly in person and cyberspace to overturn those myths and dispel some male individuals' romanticism of little cute Madamn Butterfly.My posts in this thread have done some damage to male egos of several fellow forumers,I am on their enemy list.:D
*coughespeciallyGhettodoink'scough*

[Kyoko_desu]

*coughespeciallyGhettodoink'scough*
:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D:lol::D

[BenWa]

I find the behavior of Japanese much more friendly and attractive than most women here. I'm not saying I'm attracted to an obedient woman, because I really don't look for that in a woman. I date allot of girls who are outgoing, smart and attractive. But I have this overwhelming attraction towards Asian women. I've dated black women, asian women and white women, and I just like asian women more. I don't understand it but I just like them.
I most defiantley don't want an obedient house wife woman though, because then you couldn't go out and have fun with them.

[ArmandV]

I find the behavior of Japanese much more friendly and attractive than most women here. I'm not saying I'm attracted to an obedient woman, because I really don't look for that in a woman. I date allot of girls who are outgoing, smart and attractive. But I have this overwhelming attraction towards Asian women. I've dated black women, asian women and white women, and I just like asian women more. I don't understand it but I just like them.
I most defiantley don't want an obedient house wife woman though, because then you couldn't go out and have fun with them.


You did all that at or before age 15?! Oy vey!

[DoctorP]

I most defiantley don't want an obedient house wife woman though, because then you couldn't go out and have fun with them.


I bet a lot of men disagree....I'm sure if htey were obedient, you could have a lot of fun with them! :cool:

[Kinsao]

Sticking my nose in here again:

@ Gaijinalways: your first post on the last page, listing some characteristics of Japanese men and their attitude to their wives... do you think their showing of this changes after they have got married, and they act all sweetness and light before then? (I have known this to happen - with a western couple - who got married and her husband 'changed character' quite dramatically. Not saying it's usual, but I was wondering whether it's something you've noticed among Japanese men.) I was curious because my ex was Japanese and quite 'old', as in, middle-aged rather than of the young generation, and he didn't seem to have those attitudes at all. Or maybe he was just particularly broad-minded for his generation. Obviously, one person doesn't reflect all of Japanese men! :bluush:

@ Maciamo: "masculine cold-bloodedness and emotional restraint"... that's not always a particularly masculine characteristic. Okay, I can say that, at least in the UK, men are often expected to show more emotional restraint in certain situations such as not crying in public. But when it comes to arguments, I wouldn't say that's true. It's just as often men as women getting into physical fights, and men that demonstrate a lack of restraint to the point of beating their wives and even kids. :okashii: (I'm not saying that women never do this, either, just that showing emotional restraint is not a particularly masculine characteristic in fact.) Also, quite a large proportion of women (I don't know how many, though, as I haven't conducted a survey! =/) seem to like men who aren't afraid to show their more emotional side too. :relief:

[Tyshepp]

I bet a lot of men disagree....I'm sure if htey were obedient, you could have a lot of fun with them! :cool:


Now that there is funny ya'll

[ricecake]

I most defiantley don't want an obedient house wife woman though, because then you couldn't go out and have fun with them.





I grew up surrounded by many WM/AF inter-racial couples my folks acquainted since I was little girl,I haven't seen them could ever gone out have fun times like any typical " in-marriage " Caucasian or Asian couples enjoy their fullfilling loving life out in the open.

Of-course,you can have some funs in the bedroom whatever and bully her to act like a great housekeeper plus an obedient wife at home.

Some years back,I visited a female friend married to Caucasian-American at their home during daytime.She said to me,she has to keep the kitchen sparkling clean and house smelling fresh with daily vacuuming.Because her husband " sniffs " ( I silently said WTF ! ) as soon as he steps inside the house,those house chores are expected by him.Nowadays,very few to near zero NON-Japanese Asian younger generation males treat Asian girls in such chauvinistic behaviour.

[BenWa]

It doesn't matter if the girl in question is Japanese, White, Black, or anything else. Women should be treated with respect love and decency , because if you don't do that then you'll be a very lonley person

[Maciamo]

It's just as often men as women getting into physical fights, and men that demonstrate a lack of restraint to the point of beating their wives and even kids.

Men who beat their wives or kids are mostly lower class people, and so are exceptions when it comes to civility and restraint. Compare what is comparable : watch parliamentary debates in the UK and in Japan, and see the difference.

[Elizabeth]

@ Maciamo: "masculine cold-bloodedness and emotional restraint"... that's not always a particularly masculine characteristic. Okay, I can say that, at least in the UK, men are often expected to show more emotional restraint in certain situations such as not crying in public. But when it comes to arguments, I wouldn't say that's true. It's just as often men as women getting into physical fights, and men that demonstrate a lack of restraint to the point of beating their wives and even kids. :okashii: (I'm not saying that women never do this, either, just that showing emotional restraint is not a particularly masculine characteristic in fact.) Also, quite a large proportion of women (I don't know how many, though, as I haven't conducted a survey! =/) seem to like men who aren't afraid to show their more emotional side too. :relief:
I think everyone realizes that for biological and other reasons on average men are more aggressive and confrontational, or "warrior-like," but perhaps expected to channel their emotions into a more rational plan of action and not lose control of themselves unexpectedly.

Hey, Kinsao ! I'm so happy and relieved to see someone else also had experience with an older Japanese guy....although in my case not quite 50 (approaching middle-age?). So I have to say he is extremely gentle but still more traditional than not....:souka: :bluush:

[Talitha_Cumi]

Men who beat their wives or kids are mostly lower class people, .

I have heard otherwise.
Heard that many are well-respected men in the society, that makes beaten women hard to win, as those men know how to act in front ppl, and being logical to apeal he is innocent while such a attitude of a man makes a woman more emotional.

[ricecake]

Sorry but modern Japanese men are nothing like the virile samurai.Physically they are shorter,less muscluar,less hairy and have less prominent male features than Caucasian men.

Just look at parliamentary debates on Japanese TV, the old "respectable" lawmakers often end up hitting each others like in a girl-fight.

So please tell me what in so "macho" or virile about modern Japanese men (and to some extent other East Asian men).





I've only seen a few tall musculine Japanese males so far,true most are physically shorter build than average Mongol-like Korean and northern-stock Han Chinese counterparts.They are definitely fall short in those superficial-qualities compare to average manly Caucasian men.

I think you've mistaken Taiwan for Japan,it's Taiwanese politicians often have " girl-fights " while in sessions as seen on TV news,those scenes I despise as extremely unmanly like and down right embarrassing.:p

I have to throw in the towel on this argument,I've been beaten my head try to come up with some good examples to no avail at this moment.Hey,One can't win all the time.:relief:

[ArmandV]

It is well documented that women also instigate domestic violence. A lot of them will beat on men. You just don't hear too much of it because the man feels embarrassed to report that a woman beat the crap out of him as he feels unmanly to admit such a thing. But it happens.

[BenWa]

If a woman kicked the **** out of me I wouldn't be afraid to admit it.
Women are powerful creatures who need the occasional restraining order.
Just because I think women should be treated fairly by men doesn't mean they can't kick your ***. Women can be some of the most intimidating people on the face of the earth.

[Maciamo]

I think you've mistaken Taiwan for Japan,it's Taiwanese politicians often have " girl-fights " while in sessions as seen on TV news,those scenes I despise as extremely unmanly like and down right embarrassing.

Maybe do they also fight at the Taiwanese parliament, but I confirm that I have seen it happen at the Japanese parliament a few times on TV while I was in Japan.

[Elizabeth]

I think you've mistaken Taiwan for Japan,it's Taiwanese politicians often have " girl-fights " while in sessions as seen on TV news,those scenes I despise as extremely unmanly like and down right embarrassing.:p
I still don't understand what is so girlish about getting into a fight. :? I'd for one be much more surprised if it happened in a house of all-women parlimentarians than with men, which by the way I've only read about happening in various Asian, African and Middle Eastern countries -- never here in the US either that I know. :souka:

[ricecake]

I've seen news clips of Russian male politicians face-slapping and shoving NOT manly fist-fights in parliament,so are some Taiwanese counterparts.

I expect ruling-class men conduct intelligent debates in business of their country.

[Live91]

Maybe they find Japanese women attractive and sexy.
That's probably more true. My brother has a HUGE CRUSH on oriental chicks.:P

[Yank]

Lets see. In the U.S. military, there is one woman per 50 males. So foreign women start to look more attractive I guess. But I think some Japanese women
think getting to the United States is a big adventure. So they marry American men. Or their situation in Japan is not that great and they figure things must be better in America. This is what I would guess. I personally think race mixing is wrong. But that does not make me a hater. I find Asians very interesting and I have great respect for their culture, heritage and the high standards they seem to hold themselves to. As far as American women go. Which ones do you mean? White? Black? Latino? Ameridian? In my personal opinion. I hate what American women have become. Nuerotic basket cases. White women are like this: Nothing you ever do will be enough for them. Treat them like crap though and they will love you for it. Go figure. I have long ago given up on trying to figure them out. Treat them well and they cheat on you with a guy that will beat them up. Who they will end up marrying. Black women are just plain annoying. Not that I have ever dated any! All they think about is sex and are convinced that some how some way they are being cheated out of something. They look for something wrong. All the time. Latino women. Well I have not had much dealings with them. Most Latinos are convinced that they have a right to retake our South West. Which we won fair and square in a war with them. Which they didn't populate. Didn't use anyway. That we gave them 15 million dollars for to settle matters. An astoundingly large sum back then! But they think we owe it to them. If you don't believe me just check out borderrescue.com Trust me. It's a war down there. Fire fights with mexican military, drug cartel and illegals breaking into houses, raping and robbing. So that's what's going on in America. Racial degeneration and the long fast trip down the slippery slope of third worl status. Just look at South Africa. Or Rhodesia. Oh wait! I mean Zimbabwa.
Why would American men marry Asian women? I think because they do seem to be thankful for things. You do something they say thank you and smile. Me I'm going to get a South African Boer women or Eastern European women. Now they are thankful for things!

[Yank]

If a woman kicked the **** out of me I wouldn't be afraid to admit it.
Women are powerful creatures who need the occasional restraining order.
Just because I think women should be treated fairly by men doesn't mean they can't kick your ***. Women can be some of the most intimidating people on the face of the earth.

Hey I like women that can kick ***. It's a sign of Character in my book. If she is physically fit like myself. Was prior military as well. Those are points in my book.
I look at My White Women as equal. But many seem to have a hard time with this. I don't think they really want equality. They would be giving up too many perks.

[Supervin]

Nuerotic basket cases. White women are like this: Nothing you ever do will be enough for them. Treat them like crap though and they will love you for it. Go figure. I have long ago given up on trying to figure them out. Treat them well and they cheat on you with a guy that will beat them up. Who they will end up marrying.
That's quite true in some ways. Apparently being a gentlemen goes contrary to attraction for Caucasian women. This also goes for a lot of women, generally.

Why would American men marry Asian women? I think because they do seem to be thankful for things. You do something they say thank you and smile.
Note the 'seem'. Nonetheless, I do find that some women of East Asian ethnicity to be more grateful for things. BUT, on the flip side, they are usually more neurotic so never mess with them as they'll go to extreme lengths.

[Nana007]

[QUOTE=Yank;388545] Black women are just plain annoying. Not that I have ever dated any! All they think about is sex and are convinced that some how some way they are being cheated out of something. They look for something wrong. All the time. QUOTE]

Your assumptions on Black women is racist and stereotypical. You sir no absolutely nothing.

[Ma Cherie]

Yank, the only thing I can say to you is that you're racist bigot and you know nothing.

I agree with Nana, you are nothing and you know nothing. :okashii:

[ricecake]

I thought my posts were outrageously obnoxious and race-baiting until Yank dropped by today.:emblaugh:

[gaijinalways]

Actually, in Japan until fairly recently spousal abuse was fairly common and seen as a shameful behaviour best not talked about ( child abuse is still in the same category, but slowly coming out of the closet).
Maybe some of you missed this http://wom-jp.org/e/JWOMEN/dv.html



Ah Yank, could you change your nationality or something?

[Ma Cherie]

Thanks for the link gaijinalways. :cool: I've been looking into those issues in Japanese society.

[Mrjones]

Becouse it makes communication with Japanese people easier in general and some Japanese girls are very wonderful.

[taehyun]

There are many wonderful Japanese girls,I agree. There are many great Japanese guys too:bluush: I've seen many Japanese guys dating foreign women, but very few of these couples get married.
Two days ago I read an article about the international marriage,and there were Japanese wife/foreign husband couples as well as
freign wife/Japanese husband. In the first type, husbands from Asian and non-Asian countries were nearly the same number, while in the second type the foreign wives were predominantly Asian.
For my thesis I studied closely the history of the marital rites in Japan,and I can say that the patriline in the Japanese kinship is cruisal for the Japanese society. This concept is typical for the samurai (bushi) society,and unfortunately has remained till now.
Briefly said, as long as the main family line is kept by the male members, no problem for the girls to marry non-Asian, but it is essential that the children of the son aren't of mixed blood, but remain at least Asian looking.
I have my presonal reasons to think so, and this is my personal opinion, but I may very well be wrong.

[kooo]

Yikes, some of the generalizations in this thread.

There are a lot more foreigners in Japan now, so it makes sense that there are more and more interracial marriages. I don't think it's anything specific about Japanese women or men, just that a lot of people are drawn to Japan now because it's getting more and more popular in the west, and while they're there they happen to fall in love with someone.

[Aerain]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?? I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.

[leonmarino]

I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure relationships and marriages based on mutual liking and compatibility of personal characteristics work better than one based on racial characteristics.

Good luck in the rest of your life.

[Aerain]

I am really sorry it just happens that it really never worked with any white women and it not like if white women were interrested in me either... It just happen that I seem to be more secure with a women of the same nationality...

[Glenski]

People are attracted to many things, including physical shape, facial features, race, personality, etc.

Marry the person, not the attributes. My Japanese wife says she often forgets I'm American and just considers me her husband first and an American second. I do the same in reverse with her. She's a woman first, and Japanese second.

[KirinMan]

It just happen that I seem to be more secure with a women of the same nationality...

Which is great too, be secure in knowing who you are and if you are fortunate enough to find the right person for you be happy with who that person is, not what nationality or race she may be.

If you get too tied up considering the race of the person you never know the "right" one may just pass you by.

[Ewok85]

I haven't read this thread, but are we ignoring the plain and simple facts of interracial marriages in Japan - that being that an overwhelming statistical majority of them are between Japanese Men and Foreign Women and the overall rate has changed very little in recent years.

[KirinMan]

an overwhelming statistical majority of them are between Japanese Men and Foreign Women and the overall rate has changed very little in recent years.
Are you sure about that?


I was surprised, I found this information after a bit of research, ewok you are quite right here.:-)

Also, the ratio of Japanese men marrying foreign women:Japanese women marrying foreign men has increased from about 3:1 in 1995 to 4:1 in 2005, evidence that may speak of an even more noticeable “diaspora” effect among men. Nevertheless, the growing number of international marriages could indeed be caused by the palpable divide between the sexes

Ministry of Health releases marriage stats (http://www.mutantfrog.com/2007/01/29/ministry-of-health-releases-marriage-stats/)
and
婚姻件数の構成割合 (http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/saikin/hw/jinkou/tokusyu/konin06/konin06-3.html)

[maushan3]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?? I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.

Like someone in this thread said, one shall not look for a partner based on nationality, ethnicity, etc; As for you saying that you connect with women your nationality a lot better and not with white women, I can only infer that it has only been luck. Thing is, people don't generally act the same way due to their nationality. So, yeah, love is a thing that sould not be looked for, but rather just wait for it to happen.

Mauricio

[Ewok85]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).

When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with ;) If that makes sense...

[Glenski]

ricecake,
I presume there is a reason the word "banned" is under your name.

Too much racial stereotyping in your posts to make sense.

[KirinMan]

ricecake,
I presume there is a reason the word "banned" is under your name.
Too much racial stereotyping in your posts to make sense.

Glenski I hope you realize that you are responding to a post that is from October of 2006?!?!:okashii: :-)

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).
When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with ;) If that makes sense...

It makes a lot of sense, plus I don't think there are that many Japanese men that are married to foreign women posting on this board, so it is rather easy for many to make the assumption, as I did until today, that it was the opposite.

[Glenski]

Thanks for opening my eyes and cleaning of my specs. Guilty as charged. Slinking out of the room, hoping not too many noticed...

[KirinMan]

Thanks for opening my eyes and cleaning of my specs. Guilty as charged. Slinking out of the room, hoping not too many noticed...


Sorry, if you are the same Glenski from "another" board one that is more aligned with English teaching, you are one of the "good" ones and always provide honest thoughtful comments. :-)

[Aerain]

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).
When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with ;) If that makes sense...
Ah sorry, the title of the thread really mislead me, at least in the context of Japan, I think I just worried a bit too much, the thing that made me unconfortable was that some women, like my sister for exemple, never date asian males even though they met a lot of men in their lives. It's just discouraging/worrisome to think that some women, expecially asian women avoids asian men in their relationships...

[kirei_na_me]

If you get too tied up considering the race of the person you never know the "right" one may just pass you by.


So true, so true! I always thought "different" was better. I was always so attracted to different nationalities/races. Just had to have something exotic. Big mistake for me.

I have since found out that the right one was right in my backyard, almost literally!

[Oats]

If its of interest to anyone, here in London (probably the most racially diverse city in the world interestingly) you often see inter-racial couples, however, in the teen age group you almost never see an asian (as in chinese, korean, japanese) girl or guy with a non-asian. Just intersting.

[GodEmperorLeto]

I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

I've dated a number of American women. I've dated only a few non-Americans, and most of them happen to be Asian, but that, by no means, indicates that I am a "rice chaser".

I do not mean this to be a rant against American women, so with that disclaimer, I will continue. To my experience, many American women have been raised by their parents and their culture to have an attitude of entitlement and empowerment (often at the expense of males), coupled with a propensity of never accepting guilt or blame for anything, instead shifting any culpability onto the male.

A fantastic example of this sort of thinking is found in a certain Miss "Divalion's" livejournal post: No More Mr. Niceguy (http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html), as well as books by feminist authors such as Barbara Whitehead's Why There Are No Good Men Left.

I've also noticed that American women are, in general, more likely to sleep with a dirty, cheauvanistic French or Italian guy than a clean, articulate, intelligent Arab or Asian guy.

All in all, after spending years dating American girls, I'm just no longer attracted to them. This includes Asian Americans. In my opinion, if you are born in America, you are American, regardless of your skin-color or ancestry.

So I've dated mostly girls from Taiwan and Japan (although I've also dated a Columbian, a Brazilian, and a Turkish girl). I've found that, while women are the same the world over (just as I assume men are), the cultural outlook that they have is different.

All-in-all, the nicest girls I've dated were Taiwanese, hands down. I've noticed Japanese girls are also very different inside from their outward projection (but it seems this is true of Japanese people in general, due to their culture). As a straightforward American, this can be difficult for me to deal with, and has caused some problems. Japanese girls (on the surface) seem very cliquish, but you have to get beneath the outward appearance.

I will admit that I have a decided preference for Chinese/Taiwanese and Japanese women, but a lot of that has to do with my fascination with their cultures. I especially enjoy being around foreign women who are interested in Western/American history or literature (although they are rare birds indeed).

In addition, I feel like American women generally don't appreciate nice guys or gentlemen. On the other hand, some foreign women do, especially ones who come from cultures that tend to tolerate cheauvanistism more than America.

Like I said, these are simply impressions I've gotten from the experiences I've had, they are by no means factual. I've only dated American girls generally from the Philadelphia and New York areas. The foreigners who come to study here also represent a very small and haphazard sample of their respective populations. I try to keep an open mind, and although I am, generally, unattracted to American women anymore, there's always a possibility that I'll meet one tomorrow who knocks my socks off. I only posted this because my experiences may shed some light on why some American men are seeking out foreigners instead of American women.

[SushiShin]

Its normal isn't it?

Asian women(Japanese, Filipina, Korean..) are far way better than other women and believe me since i have been here in belgium i stepped into hell here, belgian like belgian girls belgian girls like maroccan boys marrocan women only like muslem people and asian people are divide into the Chinese+Korean and Japanese+Philipphine people.

Allmost every person that i've spoken with saids that he/she has more feeling into asiatic people then their own kind, but sometimes he/she won't commit it :p

Asian people are different than Europe/America and Africa/Middle-East people they are just a kind of its own, i also adore asian women/girls why??

I don't simply know its just its in my blood. and i know it will never change even when the most beautiful girl (from another continent) comes sit next to me i still prefer the asiatic girl.

[EdZiomek]

It is totally unfair of me to say that one culture is better than another. Shame on me. But in the specifics of marriage, I have advised my sons "don't marry an American woman". Why...(and I agree with many of EmperorLeto's comments), the American woman almost contemplates divorce before marriage. Is the man a good marrying type, can he get me credit cards and a big house, and can he afford me in the divorce?

Yes, that is an over-simplification, but God have I lived this problem!

With the American family under major stress today, an American woman is deluged with the temptations of divorce and adultery, as is the American man. I think the adultery percentage is 40-60% of admitted affairs by American women during marriage, and 60-70% by the American man.

Virtually every other culture offers one other huge asset, and that is the sense of family that the foreign women bring to the American man. We are not used to grandmothers and grandchildren and husbands and wives living in close proximity.

Asian women are considered a wonderful wife by American standards, as are South American women, and Mediterranean women. Wherever there is a strong sense of family, the American man usually gains so much more in the marriage bargain, that is my admittedly flawed opinion.

[maushan3]

Asian women(Japanese, Filipina, Korean..) are far way better than other women and believe me since i have been here in belgium i stepped into hell here, belgian like belgian girls belgian girls like maroccan boys marrocan women only like muslem people and asian people are divide into the Chinese+Korean and Japanese+Philipphine people.

No person is 'better' than another, just I'd say, different. We, men, like women who will respect us and such and in that way, the Asian women you just mentioned is better for us.

Asian women are considered a wonderful wife by American standards, as are South American women, and Mediterranean women. Wherever there is a strong sense of family, the American man usually gains so much more in the marriage bargain, that is my admittedly flawed opinion.

That opinion is not flawed, it is perfect. Like you said, where there's not a strong sense of family, people generally tend to look for themselves rather than for the good of the family.

Mauricio

[GodEmperorLeto]

That opinion is not flawed, it is perfect. Like you said, where there's not a strong sense of family, people generally tend to look for themselves rather than for the good of the family.

My sentiments exactly.

As a side note, I stumbled across a humorous internet meme/photoshopped picture comparing "American females" to "Non-American females". The "American female" had an aggressive facial expression and was jamming her middle-finger into the camera, while the "Non-American female" was your typical meek Asian girl. The caption for the "Non-American female" read something like this:

Sure I'd like to have coffee. Is Thursday at 7 pm okay?

The caption for the American female read:

You can kiss my cure a--! You know what your problem is? You can't handle a strong woman! I'm a b---h princess from h--l and you aren't fit to polish my tiara! Etc, etc, etc.

The author of the pic was obviously rather embittered and cynical, but his satirical work has a definitive ring of truth to it that I cannot deny.

I'd post a link to the picture, but the image site that has it consistantly changes the pic names (which seem to be randomly assigned numbers) and they don't link very well for very long. Suffice it to say, if you go to macrochan and look up the "mysogyny" pics, you'll find it. It's pretty obvious.

[leonmarino]

I don't think American women in general are evil. I mean, some of you pretty much infer that, in my view. American women are different, that might be true most probably, but that's because American culture is different than any other. People raised in a certain culture tend to share some behavioral characteristics, and some while some people like that, some people don't.

I don't think there's anything wrong with any mind-set a certain culture brings. I have the idea that, this being a Japan-forum, there's a huge positive bias towards Japanese women. Sure, there's nothing wrong with personal preferences, but it's unfair to describe American women as unintelligent or unfaithful.

On the contrary, one could say that Japanese women are not suited for relationships. Reason I could think of (and have thought of) are that in general, Japanese women tend not to speak their mind (gaman), which is very important for me as a Dutch person. Another thing is the conformity to gender roles (especially in work settings); in general Japanese women seem to be inable to break these discriminating patterns. I hate it when these kind of things happen.

But is that because these Japanese women are weak or stupid? No, it is embedded in their minds because of Japanese society and culture. It is often just the way things are. This does not make them "better" or "worse" than anyone else. If you fancy that, be my guest and be obsessed about it. If you prefer American women instead, go ahead. If you don't care about race/culture and rather look at more personal characteristics, be like me and enjoy life optimally.

[KirinMan]

On the contrary, one could say that Japanese women are not suited for relationships. Reason I could think of (and have thought of) are that in general, Japanese women tend not to speak their mind (gaman), which is very important for me as a Dutch person. Another thing is the conformity to gender roles (especially in work settings); in general Japanese women seem to be inable to break these discriminating patterns. I hate it when these kind of things happen.

You make some excellent points here in this post.

However, and I do understand the point you are trying to make here, one could ask you who are you refering to when saying they are not suited to relationships for the reasons that you gave?

I could come out and say that I find those things very attractive to me, or make a generalized statement like, but that is what Japanese men are attracted to.

But is that because these Japanese women are weak or stupid? No, it is embedded in their minds because of Japanese society and culture. It is often just the way things are. This does not make them "better" or "worse" than anyone else. If you fancy that, be my guest and be obsessed about it. If you prefer American women instead, go ahead. If you don't care about race/culture and rather look at more personal characteristics, be like me and enjoy life optimally.

Also here as well to say that "it is embedded in their minds" is pretty much what your opinion or what others think as well, however to them it could very well be something totally different. I agree with you 100% it doesn't make them better or worse and I agree 100% that one should look at personal characteristics over race and culture.

Hell I married my wife for who she was, not because of her nationality. It never crossed my mind.

Once again I understand your point, just making a comment here that no matter how one person views it, someone else could look at the same situation in a different way, kind of like the "glass is half empty or half full" debate.

Why do people marry who they do? That is an age old question that all of us arm-chair monday morning psychologists are discussing here right?

In my opinion it really isn't a question about why foreigners marry Japanese men or women but why do people from, generally speaking here, totally different cultures and backgrounds find each other attractive enough to want to get married to.

[gaijinalways]

My Japanese wife says she often forgets I'm American and just considers me her husband first and an American second. I do the same in reverse with her. She's a woman first, and Japanese second.

Still trying to get there. My wife often reminds me about the being American first.

Yes, the number of Japanese men marrying non-Japanese Asians is high (Chinese, Koreans, and Philipinos) much higher than the females. The number of Japanese men marrying Western women on the other hand, is quite low.

[Dutch Baka]

My wife sees me as Husband first and than as a Dutch. Because of this she expect me to do the same stuff Japanese man do so now and then... So, so now and than I have to remind her that I am Dutch and not the same as Japanese.

I have the same the other way around sometimes when I compair her to a Dutch lady... bla bla bla... Well yeah, culture differences you have them, you learn from some of them, some you will/ have to accept.

Back to main topic:

I do not that that so many Foreigners marry Japanese women, I think that there are other countries where you have more foreigners marrying someone than in Japan....

[SushiShin]

I like Asian women what does that includes? Japanese, Filipina, Korean,Chinese. its just everybody is different!!! Never forget that!! Im been accused that i ONLY like asian women, that isn't true it's just only i've always misery with non-asian women/girls, and i never had troubles with asian women/girls, they respect me as i am they always like to make jokes so do i, here belgian girls they don't like clean the house, they make of us slaves, and remark my words, A LOT OF BELGIAN GUYS have said to me a lot of times: Asian women are better then the belgian girls! They are always jealous (my belgian friends) on me (even if their belgian girl is X1000 beautiful then my sweet little asian girlfriend) is the heart that counts not the face! And thats why i like Asian girls, first heart, then health and after that the gorgeous of the girl, like i often post here people think of me that im an asian girl otaku!
That ain't true its just i feel more comfortable with asians girls then the girls who lives in this d°mb country. Excuse me for me words but this is reality.

I'm happy with asian girls and viceversa too, a lot of girls like me as a friend not always as lover, to lose a friend is more painful then to lose a girl/boyfriend!

This was Herbal from S-Flu.

and remember:

[GodEmperorLeto]

I don't think American women in general are evil.
You haven't dated many. :lol:
Sure, there's nothing wrong with personal preferences, but it's unfair to describe American women as unintelligent or unfaithful.
I never said as much. Most of the women I've dated are quite intelligent and monogamous, just incredibly pretentious.

There is a possibility that I simply attract (and am attracted to) the wrong sort of woman, though.

Hell I married my wife for who she was, not because of her nationality. It never crossed my mind.
It's downright stupid to only date/marry someone because of their ethnicity/nationality. However, nationality can be incredibly attractive, simply because they bring a completely different perspective than one you are accustomed to. And that perspective can infuse the relationship with a dynamism that wouldn't necessarily be there otherwise.

I like to date girls that complement my skills and knowledge, especially ones with skills and strengths where I have weaknesses but interest. For example, I am horrible at mathematics, but am interested in astronomy and physics, so I find myself attracted to women who are skilled in those areas.

Cultural differences often operate the same way. I like dating women who are from other countries because they bring different perspectives into my daily life. Granted, there are often traits that come along with these cultural differences that become obstacles (the stereotypical subservience of East Asian women is an example, and I personally find it a turn-off). But if you can overcome these obstacles and are interested in growing and learning as a person (and so is she, hopefully), then there is so much that can be gained from a cross-cultural relationship.

Why do people marry who they do? That is an age old question that all of us arm-chair monday morning psychologists are discussing here right?

In my opinion it really isn't a question about why foreigners marry Japanese men or women but why do people from, generally speaking here, totally different cultures and backgrounds find each other attractive enough to want to get married to.
Very good question. I guess I sort of tried to answer this above, but that's also just my personal opinion.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about love: avoid at all costs."

Funny, cynical joke, but why would the fictitious and satyrical guide advice avoidance? Because love is unquantifiable and indefinable. It's such a hard concept to understand. Why does it feel so good and also cause so much agony? How can something so noble devolve so easily into abject hatred? Who knows.

Attraction is one thing. But you don't marry for attraction, you marry for love. And who can say why people fall in love? People can speculate all night, but come morning, there won't be any answers.

But it's still worthwhile to talk about, because you can still glean insight.

Well yeah, culture differences you have them, you learn from some of them, some you will/ have to accept.
To a guy like me, I guess, that's part of the dynamism. I like that. I like the unexpected, even if it is frustrating or difficult at times, because I think the rewards are worth it.

[Mars Man]

There is a possibility that I simply attract (and am attracted to) the wrong sort of woman, though.

So sadly, this type of phenomenon can happen--I'm sure you have heard about women who somehow are attracted to the 'beat'n type' sometimes almost by heredity it seems. Uncommon, yes, but it does happen. In my case, I have thought about it, and understand that I am attracted to females with a masculinity in build and personality trait (to some extent).


And who can say why people fall in love? People can speculate all night, but come morning, there won't be any answers.


I would argue that the above statement is both wrong and right--depending on the depth that you want to go to. Studies are on-going on the 'why' element of love, and to a degree we can say we know how we fall in love, and thus to that degree (linguistically) can say we know why we fall in love.

I agree that the foreigners to Japapnese women is not so high as to make a real issue.

My wife--and I'm also attracted to orientalish women more than not--first doesn't see me, then sees me as someone who gets in the way (you know, like trying to control her [ that's her excuse to wiggle out of somethings]), then she sees me as non-Japanese, next her husband, and every once in a blue moon, my god, the sweet little lady even sees me as a man--that's spelled M...A...N..., MAN....as the blue number goes. :p :-)

[Mindbender80]

Hi all,
I am italian (sicilian) and i 'm 26.
I am one of those guys who thinks that japanese girls are some of the most gorgeous women in the world even if i don't dislike western-type women as well. What i feel towards japanese girls is a mixture of curiosity and respect.
Curiosity for some aspects of their personality i don't get: e.g. they are the only women in the world i saw going all alone visiting foreign countries (either they are the most self-confident women in the world or the most adventouros anyway). Respect, because they seem to have remained (at least they seem) the only women in the world to have some own-respect for their femminility.
I read a post from guy complaining about what american girls have become...That's because he probably doesn't really know what italian girls have become...Of course i can't generalize on this point, but- believe me (and if there are any other italian guys they will probably agree with me)- 85% of them nowadays talk, behave and think like they are dockers (i mean longshoremen) and this is quite sad to see and...To live.
Well, i have to say i don't really have any direct experience with japanese girls (my thoughts were created by asian films or Usa films with japanese girls...That's why i wrote: "at least they seem"), and i read most of you are married with jap women for real, but anyway i know two chinese girls living in my city (ok, they are chinese, but it's just to make a comparison with some "asian" women) and...Gosh, i can't even think to make a comparison between their style and the italian girl style! And i don't think it depends on the fact they seem to be geisha-slaves or have a "nice and obedient character" as Leonmarino wrote, but i am talking about, you know, just "grace" (way of talking, smiling, listening,walking, even being angry or rude or shouting, just everything!). It could depend on people, of course, but it seems to be more easy for an "asian" girl to be like this that not for an italian (and probably western) girl.
That's quite strange. Anyway it's my main reason to be fascinated by them: they are (seem to be) just "women".
I read Taehyun's very interesting post on japanese marital rites and Yukio Michael's posts with whom, on some points, i totally agree; However, generally speaking, i think love is the most difficoult subject to speak about. When it happens it just...Happens, you can't really choose who you have to love...And, at the end, even if i will fell in love with an italian docker-style girl, all of her faults or blames would become merits for me...Love is so unpredictable.

[Damicci]

Unless you find anew term to use other than Jap, you may find a hard time getting back the respect you oh so like to give out......

[marsans]

Unless you find anew term to use other than Jap, you may find a hard time getting back the respect you oh so like to give out......

I think he just got ahead of himself while typing.

I think ill give him the benefit of the doubt :relief:

[Mindbender80]

Unless you find anew term to use other than Jap, you may find a hard time getting back the respect you oh so like to give out......


?? Why? What do you mean? Is it a bad term? I thought it was just the short form for japanese like ita per italian...?!

[Mikawa Ossan]

Mindbender, you're right about that, but in the English language, the term "Jap" has an offensive connotation to many people. The connotation is most likely a product of WW2.

[KirinMan]

?? Why? What do you mean? Is it a bad term? I thought it was just the short form for japanese like ita per italian...?!

Mikawa san answered this well, but I will say I have never heard Italian's being refered to ita's:wary:

Curiosity for some aspects of their personality i don't get: e.g. they are the only women in the world i saw going all alone visiting foreign countries (either they are the most self-confident women in the world or the most adventouros anyway). Respect, because they seem to have remained (at least they seem) the only women in the world to have some own-respect for their femminility.

Interesting observation here, and making some huge generalizations along the way as well. Not all Japanese women or men for that matter are quite like you are describing here, and there are literally hundreds if not thousands of foreign women that travel to and work in Japan every year as well. THe majority of them coming from English speaking countries.

Well, i have to say i don't really have any direct experience with japanese girls (my thoughts were created by asian films or Usa films with japanese girls...That's why i wrote: "at least they seem"), and i read most of you are married with jap women for real, but anyway i know two chinese girls living in my city (ok, they are chinese, but it's just to make a comparison with some "asian" women)

Please be careful here, even though you may have written "at least they seem" you still are saying that you are basing your impressions upon movies or TV, that really isn't reality in any sense of the word. It is also very dangerous in my opinion to create an image of a people or country based solely on what one sees on TV or in the movies. Plenty of generalizations and misconceptions get spread about in that manner and that really isn't healthy.

I suppose you can imagine what people around the world would think about Italy if all they knew about it was from TV or movies......(introduce the theme song from the Godfather series here...) and equating Chinese women with Japanese women, even if they both come from Asia is like me saying to you French, Spanish, German, Polish and Italian women are all the same because they come from Europe.:wave:

[TuRbOxChAz]

i can't say...im asian (korean) and would prefer asian. (no offense to the other ethnicities)

[Hideki_Matsui_Beast]

I'm into thick white women. :cool:

[Mindbender80]

Mindbender, you're right about that, but in the English language, the term "Jap" has an offensive connotation to many people. The connotation is most likely a product of WW2.


I didn't know it. How strange it sounds to me. Anyway, i'll correct my previous post asap :)

[Mindbender80]

Hello Obeika,
Nice objections from you, but on same points, you misunderstood me as well, as it normal to happens when a dialogue is written and not spoken, I guess…
Anyway I really liked your objection about tv and reality. I am currently studying to become a…How do you say it in English? I think is massmediologyst, (i mean someone who study different kinds of mass-media and their influence on people) and I am aware of the differences between real life and images and the "danger" of media to create a kind of mentality, so I would be completely out of my mind if I say that something is true because “I’ve seen it on tv”! You’re right on this point: i know a film is just the thought of an author behind it (but basically that could be considered the same also for real-life news report on tv: a news of an event is not the real event, but only the reporter’s point of view about it), however, films and media could be helpful to help someone to understand a different culture.
Let my try to explain better those misunderstandings please.

Interesting observation here, and making some huge generalizations along the way as well. Not all Japanese women or men for that matter are quite like you are describing here, and there are literally hundreds if not thousands of foreign women that travel to and work in Japan every year as well. THe majority of them coming from English speaking countries.

True, it was a generalization, but I think generalization as a mental process it’s inevitable when you talk about different people in different countries all over the world, otherwise you could never be able to make a comparison between them (for ex. A comparison between Italians and Frenchs or whatever, because you should have to consider the different particularity of 60+mils of Italian individuals and I don’t how many millions of French and that would be impossible).
Besides, more than business men/women travelling for work, I was thinking to teenagers and/or simple guys. Here in my own city, sometimes I see Japanese girls going all alone to visit monuments with their rucksacks on their shoulders. I see Japanese guys as well, but from a male point of view (and anyway our society’s point of view is basically a male one), it’s more uncommon see a foreign girl all alone. It would be quite uncommon for an Italian girl (and I don’t know about western girls in general) going alone without at least a female friend. I don’t know why, maybe also for a matter of personal “safety”. You know, sad to say, but bad people are everywhere; if I were a girl, nowadays, unless I were a psyco-girl myself, I think I would be concern to go everywhere without some care.

Please be careful here, even though you may have written "at least they seem" you still are saying that you are basing your impressions upon movies or TV, that really isn't reality in any sense of the word. It is also very dangerous in my opinion to create an image of a people or country based solely on what one sees on TV or in the movies. Plenty of generalizations and misconceptions get spread about in that manner and that really isn't healthy.
I Already told you that I liked this statement of yours, but...Let’s consider this: I am found of asian movies. Of these asian movies I probably watched, let’s say, 100 japanese film by different authors, different directors. Let’s say 80/100 films of these japanese films show directly or indirectly the habit of Japanese fellows to remove their shoes before entering their house. That would be helpful for me to realise that in Japan is a common habit to remove the shoes before going into the inner rooms of an house. Or let’s say: all the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s Japanese movies I watched show people eating with sticks. Instead recent Japanese films (from 2000 let’s say) show Japanese eating also with “western” forks. It could tell me that this western “fashion” of eating with forks is spreading in Japan, either in the real life either in the mind of the directors of the films, who, at the end, are real people living in a real life too!
Moreover, watching some Japanese horror movies (The ring 1-2, Dark Water, The Grudge, Sorum, Kairo-Pulse) and also “asian” horror movies (The eye 1-2, Inner Senses, The phone, Scissors, A nightmare) I realised how different is Japanese/asian concept of horror from the western one. The figure of ghost is not so scaring for us; the only recent western horror movies with ghosts I watched in this period were “13ghosts” and “Stay alive”, but there were plenty of violent scenes and blood in there…So different from the asian way of doing a “ghost-story” movie and is not a case they had to change the structure of the film when they make USA remakes of Asian horror movies (the ring, dark water, pulse, the grudge), adding some blood or anyway violent or shocking scenes to make them works even in western countries.
The fact is even in your traditional dramatical theather there’s the figure of the wrathful ghost hunting man. So even in this case media helps me to understand some interesting differences between ours mentality.
Of course you have horror movies with violent and blood scenes too and a Takashi Miike’s film could be strong even for me, but it’s the exception and not the rule.
It would be interesting going deeper on this point, but I will eventually go off-topic… :p

I suppose you can imagine what people around the world would think about Italy if all they knew about it was from TV or movies......(introduce the theme song from the Godfather series here...) and equating Chinese women with Japanese women, even if they both come from Asia is like me saying to you French, Spanish, German, Polish and Italian women are all the same because they come from Europe.:wave:
Again. Correct, but IMHO not so true. There are Italian films made by very sensible director that managed to capture the soul of italians inside themselves. Watching them you’ll be probably be able to understand some aspects of the personality of Italian fellows.
And about the comparison between chinese/japanese girls. You are right, and it could be unpolite from my side to do it, but still if you consider the life of an Italian man and the life of a Spanish one, ok just consider them as 2 different films without no audio at all (so you couldn’t understand who Is the Italian and who the Spanish), you would probably have some troubles to realise who is who. Their way of acting/reacting on some events would be the same. Their style of life would be more or less the same; their way of eating too. So as for our common indoeuropean roots I can perfectly say: “Italian people are similar to spanish” or “english to germans” etc…As for ex Hungarians, Romanians, Bulgarians, people are pretty similar to each other for historical reason (same soviet regimes there), culture, way of living etc…So Russian and Ukranian people, but none would dare to say: “Japanese and Italians are similar” or “Saudi-arabians and Japanese are similar”, not only for fisical features, but for a lot of other reasons.
They are generalizations, but I think, on some aspect, They’re quite tolerable.
Sorry for that long post, you just provocked me speaking about my fields of study :p

[KirinMan]

Mindbender, no problem for the post, actually I appreciate your taking the time to reply. I see that you have a decent outlook as to how things actually are.

Sometimes it is really difficult to see into the mind of the person making a post on a forum such as this. You explained yourself very well in response to my post. I think you "got it", if you understand the colloquial English here. (To those that don't know it means "you understand" it or the point very well)

Correct, but IMHO not so true. There are Italian films made by very sensible director that managed to capture the soul of italians inside themselves. Watching them you’ll be probably be able to understand some aspects of the personality of Italian fellows.


Good point, however movies depicting Japan are often off the mark in many respects. While there may be a kernel of truth in them many are overly romantic and do not accurately depict what life or the culture here in Japan is actually like.

Also not all Italian men are 'La familia la Cosa Nostra' either, which is a poor description of how Hollywood movies in the past have portrayed many men from Italy or Sicily. I think you understand the point I am trying to make here.

Sorry for that long post, you just provocked me speaking about my fields of study

Actually I am rather happy that you tool the time to reply as you have, as others besides me can get an insight into how people from Italy in this case look at and think about Japan and it's people.

Very interesting insights here, thanks again.

[Mindbender80]

Yep, i knew “got it”; i know my English is not perfect, but it’s not SO bad either :).
I can’t really say anything more about Japanese films, but if you (a Japanese) think they are not so faithful to real life & culture, i can be surprised, but i necessary have to believe you.
I think I got your point on mafia films as well (“la famiGlia” by the way :p), but that depends on people’s intelligence and personal culture. Once I had a chat on mIRC with a girl from Australia and she was almost shocked I am from Palermo (probably she thought all Sicilian guys can barely digit words on a keyboard and that we shoot each other in the street like, you know, in the Far West :) ). I have never seen a mafia man in 26 years of life or an act of extreme violence in the street, (but of course mafia men still exist somewhere in my city, even if maybe they have become business men) but who would ever believe me, evil Cosa Nostra guy?
Indeed, it’s the same everywhere, also with USA film. I can’t really count in how many American movies there’s a scene in which 2 men who don’t know each other have a quarrel (even for futile motives) that finish in a violent fight in which eventually one kicks the other one’s a** with some kind of karate or kick boxing move. Do I have to believe that if I have a quarrel in USA, everytime I’ll be knocked down by a Van Damme look-alike guy? :/

Actually I am rather happy that you tool the time to reply as you have, as others besides me can get an insight into how people from Italy in this case look at and think about Japan and it's people.
Very interesting insights here, thanks again.
Well, a single guy from Sicily doesn't make italian people...Don't generalize here...Eheheh just kidding :p

:wave:

[SushiShin]

I'm into thick white women. :cool:

lol still somebody with some humour around here, but no serious i just have an obsession on asian girls thats all =)

(owh bless them for their excistence (Ö_Ö)

[ArmandV]

I'm into thick white women. :cool:


It depends upon how they're cooked.

[Scars Unseen]

Hmm... well if I get married in the next 3 years it will almost definitely be to a Japanese/Okinawan(or other neighboring nationalities that may migrate) woman. This has less to do with an obsession with Asian women and more to do with the fact that I will not date a fellow member of the armed forces. Which is not to suggest that there is anything wrong with women that choose to serve; it's just that the self contained community of the military, with its added rules and boundaries, tends to make military/military relationships rife with unnecessary drama. And relationships have enough of that without any extra besides.

Of course in my case I find myself hoping that the stereotypes are not true, as I am not overly fond of submissiveness in a partner. I take comfort in the fact that the woman I am currently starting to see approached me first. I take that to be a good sign.

[KirinMan]

Hmm... well if I get married in the next 3 years it will almost definitely be to a Japanese/Okinawan(or other neighboring nationalities that may migrate) woman. .

Do me one favor and don't get caught up on your girl being Japanese or Okinawan, enjoy being with her for who she is and not what her nationality is. Believe me in the long run it will save you a lot of problems.

[shidoshi]

Hi everybody ;)

Do me one favor and don't get caught up on your girl being Japanese or Okinawan, enjoy being with her for who she is and not what her nationality is. Believe me in the long run it will save you a lot of problems.

Yes, i agree totally!!
My fiancée is a Japanese,
and i certainly don't love her because she is Japanese,
if she would be a french, Italian, Korean or any other nationality i would love her exactly the same way.
I don't think you can really choose your wife,
because if you do choose your wife only because she's japanese,
then it's not real love you have for her.
What i meaned with not being able to choose your wife,
is because i believe in destiny,
and i think it's your destiny to have the woman that will cross your path in a day in your life and love her till your death.
I think so,
Not everybody do think so of course,
it's just my way of thinking...

But i wish you guys the best and a lot of happy years ;)

[Ewok85]

Do me one favor and don't get caught up on your girl being Japanese or Okinawan, enjoy being with her for who she is and not what her nationality is. Believe me in the long run it will save you a lot of problems.

Well... he is in Okinawa, the chances of him hooking up with either of those is from a statistical point of view almost certain ;)

[Goldiegirl]

I tell myself that I will not look at this thread anymore, but it's just like a bad traffic accident I just gotta look. I can not believe all the stuff you guys believe about women. I am sorry but I can't date you because I hear woman from your country don't clean their houses. Jeez...... I'm glad my Japanese husband can use his mind and common sense. Hooray for him!

[greentea]

why do so many foreigners date japanese women? bottom line,japanese women find foreigners hot,and foreigners find japanese women hot..end of story.:-)

[Ewok85]

why do so many foreigners date japanese women? bottom line,japanese women find foreigners hot,and foreigners find japanese women hot..end of story.:-)

Why? Because I have met only 3 foreign women during my last 18 months here, and have met a few dozen Japanese women in the last 24hours...

Its all about numbers people.

[greentea]

I dont think there is anything wrong with having a preference and not settling for anything less.If the guy is set on marrying a Japanese/Okinawan girl,then so what? thats his cup of tea.

I get so tiresome of people trying to come off like the morale high ground when it comes to race preferences."love everyone,you should be color blind when it comes to love blah blah blah"...look,NOBODY is blind when it comes to love,everyone has thier preferences that they demand from the opposite sex.To some it might be brunettes,or blondes,to others it might be rich guys,spunky women or people that drive nice cars...whatever it is,people have thier certain preferences that they are not willing to compromise on.
If a guy only wants to marry a Japanese girl because that is what makes him happy,then who are we to tell him that that is not the way to live and he should settle for something less? yes love the women your with because of WHO she is,but you dont have to give up Japanese girls or go for a differnet race to get a girl that you connect with emotionally.Its not a "one way or the other" type of situation.

if you want a Japanese wife...GO FOR IT! never let anyone tell you its not right or its cruel to exclude other races,because its not.There will be plenty of other guys out there looking for white girls,latin girls,black girls or korean girls etc..you have NO obligation to give equal time to all races,if your preference is Japanese,go for it.Dont settle.
just my 2 cents. :-)

[maushan3]

I dont think there is anything wrong with having a preference and not settling for anything less.If the guy is set on marrying a Japanese/Okinawan girl,then so what? thats his cup of tea.
I get so tiresome of people trying to come off like the morale high ground when it comes to race preferences."love everyone,you should be color blind when it comes to love blah blah blah"...look,NOBODY is blind when it comes to love,everyone has thier preferences that they demand from the opposite sex.To some it might be brunettes,or blondes,to others it might be rich guys,spunky women or people that drive nice cars...whatever it is,people have thier certain preferences that they are not willing to compromise on.
If a guy only wants to marry a Japanese girl because that is what makes him happy,then who are we to tell him that that is not the way to live and he should settle for something less? yes love the women your with because of WHO she is,but you dont have to give up Japanese girls or go for a differnet race to get a girl that you connect with emotionally.Its not a "one way or the other" type of situation.
if you want a Japanese wife...GO FOR IT! never let anyone tell you its not right or its cruel to exclude other races,because its not.There will be plenty of other guys out there looking for white girls,latin girls,black girls or korean girls etc..you have NO obligation to give equal time to all races,if your preference is Japanese,go for it.Dont settle.
just my 2 cents. :-)


This, I think, has always been the case... We see a lot of race preservation when we go out on the streets, it is, still nowadays, rather rare to see multi-racial couples and children. It is just that many peopl would rather be quiet about it, which is a very smart move.

Mauricio

[KirinMan]

I tell myself that I will not look at this thread anymore, but it's just like a bad traffic accident I just gotta look. I can not believe all the stuff you guys believe about women.

Come on now don't bunch all of us up into one group now!:p Not all of us here are stuck on nationalities when we discuss women. Geez I like all women, it doesnt matter to me what their passport looks like.:wave:


I am sorry but I can't date you because I hear woman from your country don't clean their houses.

You can't? It's a wonder then why your husband married you then, are you rich or something?:giggle: :lol:

I'm glad my Japanese husband can use his mind and common sense.

Maybe you'd let him share some of it with the rest of us here.:-)

Question for you Goldiegirl, did you marry your husband because he was a hot Japanese guy or because you just thought he was a hot guy?

Sorry for rhetorical question, I think I already know the answer.:wave:

[greentea]

This, I think, has always been the case... We see a lot of race preservation when we go out on the streets, it is, still nowadays, rather rare to see multi-racial couples and children. It is just that many peopl would rather be quiet about it, which is a very smart move.
Mauricio
Yes thats true,but the "race preservation" concept is really starting to show some cracks.Interracial dating is on the rise and really shows no sign of slowing down.
Im not sure where you are from,but here in Southern California its not rare to see inter-mixed couples and kids.In fact its very common (especially Asian girl/White guy couples).I guess its different in other areas of the world.

[greentea]

Why? Because I have met only 3 foreign women during my last 18 months here, and have met a few dozen Japanese women in the last 24hours...
Its all about numbers people.

Then how come Asian girl/White guy couples are more common than Asian guy/White girl couples? not just in Japan but in the US? if its merely a numbers game,why are we not seeing sian guys with White girls like we do with Asian girls/White guys?

I dont think its a numbers game,for some reason Asian women and White males are drawn to each other,similar to how White women and Black males are drawn to each other.I cant explain why,maybe its something genetic? maybe its cultural? I am not sure,but I dont think its a mere numbers game or mere coincidence,something is at play here.

[KirinMan]

not just in Japan but in the US?

FYI, more Japanese men marry foreign women than Japanese women marry foreign men.

[Ewok85]

Then how come Asian girl/White guy couples are more common than Asian guy/White girl couples?

They aren't more common, the statistics show that. In your own head it may seem that you are right, but only because your situation only allows you to see that.

What you are saying is downright stupid. If you want to marry or date someone purely based on their nationality, then you are an idiot in my opinion. Its got nothing to do with morals, and it makes me feel sad for the poor person who you may eventually do this with, because you do not like them as a person, you like them merely as an object, because that is what you are doing. Objectifying people based on nationality.

[KirinMan]

because you do not like them as a person, you like them merely as an object, because that is what you are doing. Objectifying people based on nationality.

I have to agree with this opinion too. I have also come to realize that certain members posting here will never quite understand what this really means.

No matter how much it is explained to them over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, they stick to their seemingly closed minded beliefs, it is a shame too, because others have given some very intelligent and thoughful advice that has been too easily dismissed. Sigh........

Now I wonder why they come here in the first place looking for advice when they don't want to accept what people are telling them anyway. 不思議 da na...!

I've written somewhere on this board that people who get too hung up on the nationality of a person may very well miss out on any number of other potential mates purely because they are too hung up on a nationality or race.

[greentea]

FYI, more Japanese men marry foreign women than Japanese women marry foreign men.

according to this scientific study,your wrong.Japanese women marry double the amount of whites than Japanese males :)

Husbands Japanese 69.2
(164,788) Other Asians 8.8
Whites 17.5
Blacks 0.3
Hispanics/Latinos 2.7

Wives Japanese 50.9
(228,745) Other Asians 5.4
Whites 37.1
Blacks 1.7
Hispanics/Latinos 2.4

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml

They aren't more common, the statistics show that. In your own head it may seem that you are right, but only because your situation only allows you to see that.
What you are saying is downright stupid. If you want to marry or date someone purely based on their nationality, then you are an idiot in my opinion. Its got nothing to do with morals, and it makes me feel sad for the poor person who you may eventually do this with, because you do not like them as a person, you like them merely as an object, because that is what you are doing. Objectifying people based on nationality.

Thats not true,being Japanese gets you in the door but the personality has to be there for the person to stick around.Its just like anything else,if a guy likes blondes,he might be attracted to a girl but she still needs the brains and personality to back it up and make it last.

Just because someone prefers Japanese/Asians doesnt mean that they dont care about personality,no more/less than anyone else that has a preference.Whats "idiotic" is to assume that since you prefer Asians and your white,than you must be some objectifying shallow pervert.

and yes,asian/white couples are common:
These days, Asian Americans in interracial relationships are very common. One of the best research articles on this topic is a study conducted by Shinagawa and Pang entitled "Asian American Panethnicity and Intermarriage,"

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml :p

[greentea]

I've written somewhere on this board that people who get too hung up on the nationality of a person may very well miss out on any number of other potential mates purely because they are too hung up on a nationality or race.

Do u feel the same way about Japanese girls who ONLY date Asian guys? do you tell them they should date Whites etc becaus they might miss out on a potential mate? lol doubtful,its such a double standard.

What bugs me is that Asian guys get so jealous when a White dates thier race,they take such offense to it,I know alot of Asian guys call girls "sell outs" when they try to date another nationality.:okashii:

[KirinMan]

according to this scientific study,your wrong.Japanese women marry double the amount of whites than Japanese males but I wouldnt want to let the facts get in the way ;)


Let me clarify this, I wrote,

"FYI, more Japanese men marry foreign women than Japanese women marry foreign men" in response to

not just in Japan but in the US?

I should have deleted the US, because in Japan that just ain't true.

http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/saikin/hw/jinkou/tokusyu/konin06/konin06-3.html

This is in Japanese
and

Ministry of Health releases marriage stats (http://www.mutantfrog.com/2007/01/29/ministry-of-health-releases-marriage-stats/)
This is in English.

And you may have overlooked the fact that I intentionally did not specify race either.

So let's not let a little thing like facts get in the way.

[KirinMan]

Do u feel the same way about Japanese girls who ONLY date Asian guys? do you tell them they should date Whites etc becaus they might miss out on a potential mate? lol doubtful,its such a double standard.


My advice/opinions on this subject are committed to providing equal opportunity advice to any and all without regard to race, religion, creed, age, sex, height, weight, marital status, disability unrelated to an individual’s ability to perform adequately, national origin citizenship, ancestry, or any other characteristic protected by my opinion and law.

To each his or her own, my advice would be the same to them as well.
Instead of writing a new reply to the post below me here I will add this here;

When talking about statistics about Japan, I will trust the Japanese to know best about it's own country than to rely on any statistics from the US Government or US "agency" government or otherwise.

You have to remember that the US isn't too reliable when it comes to having dependable sources for "facts" and "information", hell just ask the guy sitting in the White House right now about that.

[greentea]

Let me clarify this, I wrote,
"FYI, more Japanese men marry foreign women than Japanese women marry foreign men" in response to
I should have deleted the US, because in Japan that just ain't true.
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/saikin/hw/jinkou/tokusyu/konin06/konin06-3.html
This is in Japanese
and
Ministry of Health releases marriage stats (http://www.mutantfrog.com/2007/01/29/ministry-of-health-releases-marriage-stats/)
This is in English.
And you may have overlooked the fact that I intentionally did not specify race either.
So let's not let a little thing like facts get in the way.
Actually the stats I showed you WERE for Japan,the US stats were on another page.
here are the states for the US:
Husbands Japanese 62.7
(113,512) Other Asians 13.9
Whites 19.7
Blacks 0.3
Hispanics/Latinos 2.8
Wives Japanese 56.2
(117,243) Other Asians 11.2
Whites 28.1
Blacks 0.9
Hispanics/Latinos 2.6

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial2.shtml :blush:

[marsans]

You know I really agree with Greentea on some of this. I like asian women, I am simply more attracted to them than any other girl. I want an asian girlfriend/wife because thats what makes me happy. I dont see anything wrong with someone being hell bent on getting an asian girlfriend.

[greentea]

You know I really agree with Greentea on some of this. I like asian women, I am simply more attracted to them than any other girl. I want an asian girlfriend/wife because thats what makes me happy. I dont see anything wrong with someone being hell bent on getting an asian girlfriend.

There is nothing wrong with it,I think those who try to sway you of your preference/happiness probably have thier own agendas to be honest.Go for Asians,flirt with them,date them,marry them,there is nothing with it.

preferring Asian women is NO different than the white guy who prefers blonde white girls,nobody says anything about that.Are you objectifying women if you prefer brunettes or girls with long hair? what we cant have preferences now? its not "pc" to like a certain type? get real folks.In my opinion its racism to assume that just because a white guy prefers Asian women that he automatically has no standards when it comes to personality and will date ANY asian women.To me that is racist ignorant thinking.

I have only dated Asian women in my lifetime,however there are Asian girls out there I was/am not interested in,just because I prefer Asians doesnt mean I will date any Asian that walks by.I think that goes for most guys who have an Asian preference.

And lets be honest here,ALL guys objectify women to some extent,it doesnt take an interracial couple for that to happen,come on guys lets get off the high horse shall we. :-)

[greentea]

because you do not like them as a person, you like them merely as an object, because that is what you are doing. Objectifying people based on nationality.

But you dont know that.How dare you assume that just because someone prefers to date a certain nationality that somehow means that person automatically is objectifying that nationality and its somehow not as "real".

Its racist to assume that just because a different race prefers Asian girls,that it automatically means that he is treating Asian girls like trophys and objectifying them.Are Asian guys objectifying Asian women if they ONLY date Asian women? how come thats never brought up? gee wonder why.

I was with a fillipina girl for 4 and a half years,I love her like family to this day,even though we broke it off.To somehow say that my love isnt as 'real' just because I prefer Asians is really narrowminded and full of bigotry.

I think alot of you have this stereotype in your heads that clump regular people who just prefer Asian women with that of American soliders back in the 40s and Vietnam era.I have alot of white guy friends who only date Asians and they love Asian culture and respect it,in fact they try very hard to learn the languages etc,maybe you shouldnt judge people based on thier preferences? :okashii:

[KirinMan]

maybe you shouldnt judge people based on thier preferences?

Mmm it sounds to me that you are also judging people that are advising others to look beyond race or nationality.

[KirinMan]

I like asian women, I am simply more attracted to them than any other girl. I want an asian girlfriend/wife because thats what makes me happy. I dont see anything wrong with someone being hell bent on getting an asian girlfriend.

Do you get the point that myself and a few others here are trying to make?

Noone has said anything about not being attracted to Asian women, just passing along some advice that one shouldn't limit their thinking that that's all there is and ain't no more.

As with any race or nationality and with either sex as well, things are not always greener on the "other" side of the fence no matter how much you may want or desire it to be true.

[greentea]

Do you get the point that myself and a few others here are trying to make?
Noone has said anything about not being attracted to Asian women, just passing along some advice that one shouldn't limit their thinking that that's all there is and ain't no more.
As with any race or nationality and with either sex as well, things are not always greener on the "other" side of the fence no matter how much you may want or desire it to be true.

But if he only wants to date Asian women,and that is what makes HIM happy,whats the harm? maybe dating all kinds of women is what you like,but perhaps it isnt this guy's cup of tea? different strokes for different folks.

Why must he feel obligated to date other races if he doesnt want to? see,I really hate this way of thinking.Its almost like you and others lay guilt on people for going after just Asian women.Like its some 'naughty' thing to just like Asians,the attitude is basically "you dont want to be a shallow objectifying pervert right? then you should try other races too!",its just ridiculous.

and again,why isnt this same standard applied to Asian males who only date Asian females? are they not "objectifying" Asian females by ONLY dating Asians? or is that "ok" since they are the same race? :okashii:

[greentea]

Mmm it sounds to me that you are also judging people that are advising others to look beyond race or nationality.

But thats not what is going on here,its more than merely suggesting to look
beyond race.Its the attitude that if you only date Asian women that somehow you are a fetishy pervert that thinks of Asian women as mere sex objects.

If I came on these boards as a white male and stated I prefer white girls,chances are I wouldnt be getting the lectures about fetishes and objectifying women.Call it a hunch.

[KirinMan]

But if he only wants to date Asian women,and that is what makes HIM happy,whats the harm? maybe dating all kinds of women is what you like,but perhaps it isnt this guy's cup of tea? different strokes for different folks.
Why must he feel obligated to date other races if he doesnt want to? see,I really hate this way of thinking.Its almost like you and others lay guilt on people for going after just Asian women.Like its some 'naughty' thing to just like Asians,the attitude is basically "you dont want to be a shallow objectifying pervert right? then you should try other races too!",its just ridiculous.
and again,why isnt this same standard applied to Asian males who only date Asian females? are they not "objectifying" Asian females by ONLY dating Asians? or is that "ok" since they are the same race? :okashii:
Sorry but no matter what I write here or others as well, I don't think you will ever truly understand the point of all of this.

Which is fine by me as I never expected anything different from you either.

[greentea]

Sorry but no matter what I write here or others as well, I don't think you will ever truly understand the point of all of this.
Which is fine by me as I never expected anything different from you either.


Not true.Im willing to hear your side of this,in fact I think this is an interesting debate.If you have nothing to say,thats your choice,but dont do it on my behalf,I want to hear what you have to say.I might not agree with you but Im willing to keep an open mind and hear you out.

[KirinMan]

Not true.Im willing to hear your side of this,in fact I think this is an interesting debate.If you have nothing to say,thats your choice,but dont do it on my behalf,I want to hear what you have to say.I might not agree with you but Im willing to keep an open mind and hear you out.

You see that's the point, everything of importance that needs to be pointed out to you here on this thread has been discussed in infinite detail, to continue on any further would just be rehashing everything over and over again.

And personally, don't know about others here but I don't particularly enjoy refried hash. I ate enough of that as a kid, didn't like then and I don't particularly like it now either.:-)

[EmperorHirohito]

If a japanese woman wishes to marry someone non japanese then that is her choice, if her family are ok with it then thats fine, but if the family dont like it then matters get complicated by her doing so. In this modern day world it would be nice to think that two people who do get on together can be married and allowed to get on with life, but in certain parts of the world tradition is more important.
If I had married a japanese woman when I was younger, then certain types of people would have commented in certain ways,rightly or wrongly, I would have ignored them and tried to make the most out of married life. After all isnt life all about being happy.........