Manners :: eating

[moyashi]

Here's an another idea.

Things to NOT to DO while eating.

Do not move a dish with your chopsticks. -- result bad bad table manners and a possible swipe at your hand

Do not stab your chopsticks into your rice. Yes, I know. Chopsticks do have a habit to roll of your bowl. If you can use a chopstick holder or fold the wari-bashi paper (wari-bashi = disposable chopsticks).
Placing your chopsticks so that they stand up in your rice bowl is like placing incense into rice while your praying to your dead ancestors.
This is a pretty sick image and many people might just turn green from the sight not out of envy but trying to prevent from going sick.

Do not pass food with chopsticks. This is similar to passing bones of a recently cremated friend or family member.

OK .. things :::

Similar to passing food. Is bumping choptsticks. Although not a series offense it still resembles the crematory.

Slurping noodles if soba/ramen is ok. While spahgetti is not.

Holding your rice bowl is also ok. I heard that this is a nono in Korea.

try to do / not to do things :::

Pour alchol for your elders and friends. Don't forget to say "mamamamam" in a humble way. +++ Charm points

Don't dig around the dish for the tastier morsels. common sense here.

Leave the last piece of what ever for somebody. This normally ends up in going to the trash or a flurry of please eat it .... nonoono you please, no I must insist on you eating eat. NO I couldn't do that you please. The winner errr I should looser is the person who gives in first and accepts.

Watch our for Kyoto, they have their own set of "eating comments" most famous is ... "would you like some tea" this normally means go home!

Also, watch out for friendly dinner invitations. Much like the American "let's go drinking sometime" ... normally means ... I'm being nice but "NOT" really that serious about having you over for dinner

hmmm starting to get into a different set of manners here. I leave the next tidbits for another different thread.

cheers

[tosh]

Wait a minute,i stumbled over a sentence here. Are you saying that the person who accepts the last morsel is actually the um,"looser"here? -(is it looser or loser?...my Webster's is a condensed version...can't find it here...hmmm.)

[moyashi]

lol ... hehe I hate spelling. ;)

I was at work at the time when I posted this and ... well you know ... too much time on the net dilly dallying isn't good :D

[thomas]

Well, the "last morsel" egg-dance is also very valid here in Europe.

The slurping is the toughest bit, hard to accept if you were brought up not to make any sound while eating. At least I've learned not to react surprised anymore, hehe. It's difficult to disregard socialization/education, in particular if you are asked to slurp when having a cup of Ramen. :lick:

[tosh]

Are you kidding? Net dilly dallying is an art form. I wish my job required net surfing. ...And as for slurping? ...those are my kind of people. Don't let the Ramen smack your nose on the way down.

[thomas]

Hehe, in particular when they're still steaming hot...

[moyashi]

info:

nissen's cup noodles are different for the West vs Japan.
Japanese version noodles are longer (chopstick use vs. fork usage)
also, there are a limited variety of flavors compared to when I was in the states.

cup noodles in general are also kanto vs. Kansai flavor differences.

slurpping ... I tried but end up making a mess. Besides I have "neko shita -- cat's tongue" meaning I can't stand hot things. I burn my tongue very easily which makes eating in Japan a bit of a problem since soup/drink temperatures are higher than in America/Europe.

net surfing isn't really included since computers are shared by the other teachers too. A bit of pain to use for personal use when another techer next to you is doing things for their next class. :D

[TomAsInfinity]

"Do not pass food with chopsticks. This is similar to passing bones of a recently cremated friend or family member."

i don't understand what is meant here. Do you mean you're not allowed to pick up food from a bowl and place it in another bowl?


"Leave the last piece of what ever for somebody. This normally "ends up in going to the trash or a flurry of please eat it .... nonoono you please, no I must insist on you eating eat. NO I couldn't do that you please. The winner errr I should looser is the person who gives in first and accepts."

This is held very true especially at big dinner parties. You should never take the last piece because by finishing it all, it is saying that the host did not order enough food for everyone. Never take the last piece of anything to be polite

[moyashi]

@passing food

A little difficult to explain in words. "A" person should not use their chopsticks to pass food to "B" person's chopsticks.

Moving food to another dish is ok.

ahem, errr ... totally forgot about party type of situations (includes visiting other folks homes) do not use the end that you're eating with to pick up food which your chopsticks might touch (ie ... spaghetti) you're <hehe> "germs" would/might spread to the other portions of food that you haven't choosen to eat. Therefore, use the end which your holding. (ummm ... turn your chopsticks up side down to choose food from a main dish)

@last morsel
ahh, is this reasoning behind the Japanese custom or is it from other cultures. I was brought to eat everything in site since children are starving in Africa. Definitely, good insight ! Thanks. Tom!

[thomas]

What about blowing your nose in a restaurant or other public spaces? Isn't that another classic no-no in Japan?

[TomAsInfinity]

Thanks moyashi. I was relieved to hear that, because I always used to pass food from chopsticks to a bowl or to a mouth. Passing from chopsticks to chopsticks seems a little odd as well, and surely requires more work! Also, isn't it rude to touch another person's chopsticks with your own?

I didn't know about the turning of chopsticks upside down when taking food from a communal serving dish though. Wouldn't your hands get covered in sauce? :p I always used to get around this by having another set of chopsticks for all the sharing. Also with drinks... in Korea you have to pour each other's drinks and never your own. When you are pouring or receiving, you must do so with both hands on the glass or one hand on the glass and the other hand holding the other hand. I am sure this is practised in Japan. I've just forgotten because this is standard practise for me anyway. Also, in Korea you have to face sideways or away from your guests when you're drinking from the glass, to be polite. Is this true in Japan too?

thomas, the blowing of the noce is definitely considered rude in public. It's is better for you to get the sniffles than to blow your nose in front of someone, which is quite different to Western culture. If you need to blow your nose you must do it by facing away from your guests or from anyone in your immediate vicinity. Isn't it strange that blowing your nose in public is deemed rude, but talking with your mouth full is not?

thomas,

[TomAsInfinity]

Sorry about the spelling mistakes and the weird way "thomas," came out at the end of my message! my computer has a ghost inside i think. i hope it's a japanese ghost :p

[thomas]

I guess it also depends on how you blow your nose. Do it decently, and no one will mind. Is talking with full mouth is very common in Japan? I tend to believe it's a question of personal education and table manners.

[moyashi]

@touch chopsticks
I referred to it as bumping chopsticks. Yes, you're right. Some people turn a little squimish when it happens :)

@Korean drinking art
Ahh, the Koreans are much more involved with their drinking art than the Japanese. The double hand pour / hold does happen but it's that important. Many Japanese just love getting plastered which means any drinking method is exceptable. While, high priced drinking locations does demand a bit of protocol.

@sneezing/buggers
hmmm... never really noticed anything or heard anything mentioned at all about this. Actually, the tissue box is standard equipment used at dinning tables in place of napkins. In general, I've never seen people really blow their nose at the dinner table unless a big bowl of Ramen was just finished which then normally most folks grab straight for a tissue.

@food in the mouth
ugh, too bad that smacking and talking with mouth full, at least from what I've seen, happens quite a lot. For me this is sooo much worse than slurping. I see children doing it all the time.

[TomAsInfinity]

It's weird, I sometimes don't know how to eat my ramem in teh restaurants. Should I do as the Romans do and eat it quietly or just waver that and totally slurp to show my appreciation? I end up doing very quiet slurps, but it's a bit strange doing it in the restaurants over here, even though in Japan it's totally acceptible (and complementary)

Come to think of it, I have seen the nose blowing with tissues at the dining table. I have only seen guys doing it though. Perhaps the ladies know how to act like ladies around me? :p

[moyashi]

lucky guy.

I seem to have bad luck then ;)

hmmm ... Are the proprietors Japanese? Give it shot and see what happens. A long noisy slurp seems to be the thing.

I still eat quietly. hehe .. disturbs the people eating next to me ;)

[TomAsInfinity]

Well depending on where I am... in Chinatown's Japanese restaurants, I am sure they are Chinese in kimonos who perhaps speak some Japanese, and in other areas they are either Japanese or Korean (don't really look Japanese). Hmmm, maybe I will let out a loud shlurp if the girl at the adjoining table needs impressing :-)

[moyashi]

;)

[thomas]

Just saw a docu on Korean culture (now, with the impending worldcup TV and newspapers are scrutinizing the two host countries), they mentioned that "last morsel rule" as well as the strict drinking rituals Moyashi mentioned.

Wow, I would love to see the country once. Has anyone already been to Korea?

[moyashi]

Korea is very interesting!

If you have a chance, this would easily be a recommended country to visit if you're coming to Japan!

hehe ... President Kim's Brother jsut got arrested for some kind of scandal. bummer, and right before the cup to.

[thomas]

Hehe, just registered koreareference.com, for future projects...
;)

[moyashi]

jeee ... another domain name squatter.
When are you gonna get your own server?
Or just move to mine?

[thomas]

Hehe, just temporarily, at least I am not speculating. The heydays of domain speculation are over.

I already registered quite a few Japan-related domains, but with the aim of developing them once I have my own server. When will that be? Hopefully late summer/ early autumn.

Oh, thanks a lot for your offer! Are you still sharing with PW?

[moyashi]

sharing ... well, yeah. My partner and I cover 2/3 and PW gets 1/3 plus server maintance duties. lol ... we barey use it ...

[thomas]

Hehe, and here's the official smilie to this thread:

:ramen:

Churu, churu (slurp, slurp)...

[kinjo]

In fact, leaving the last bit of any dish is a must-must and a direct demonstration of the 'enryo' in the Japanese society.
If A,B and C are eating and A eats the last bit of the dish, then B and C may think "oh heres one rude guy. he didn't even to bother to think whether we may want to have the dish".......On the other hand A may not eat the last bit thinking "the others may want to have it, i shouldn't be rude enough to finish it" and in the end , noone has it. In fact, the Japanese elders of today complain about the lack of 'enryo' among the Japanese youth nowadays!

In fact, one of the proverbs in Japanese I can't bring myself to agree with is "shitashiki nakanimo reigi ari"(Theres formality even among intimate friends)
C'mon.......gimme a break......

I have a question though. Considering that the Japanese have so touchy customs, is it ok to sleep in a meeting?

Many a time, when someone makes important presentation or in meetings, the 'buchou' snores right in front of the presenter and believe me, it is really really irritating. Is it not basic etiquette to listen/pretend to listen to the speaker however insignificant/unimportant the matter/speaker may be?!
Is this behaviour quite common or was what i saw many times just exceptions?

[Maciamo]

Placing your chopsticks so that they stand up in your rice bowl is like placing incense into rice while your praying to your dead ancestors.
This is a pretty sick image and many people might just turn green from the sight not out of envy but trying to prevent from going sick.

If Japanese didn't use the same ustensils for both eating and funeral rituals, there would be less rules and fuss about politeness and manners. Why don't they use other specific recipient and sticks than the one used in daily life for food ? Is that so difficult to change their shapes and names ?

Slurping noodles if soba/ramen is ok. While spahgetti is not.

I was told that it was only ok (and necessary) for ramen, not soba (certainly not yakisoba).

slurpping ... I tried but end up making a mess. Besides I have "neko shita -- cat's tongue" meaning I can't stand hot things. I burn my tongue very easily which makes eating in Japan a bit of a problem since soup/drink temperatures are higher than in America/Europe.

I have a good trick for this, as I am also "nekojita" : take some ramen in your chopsticks, keep them a few seconds in the air and blow on it to cool it down. It seems perfectly acceptable and work wonders.　:ramen:

@last morsel
ahh, is this reasoning behind the Japanese custom or is it from other cultures. I was brought to eat everything in site since children are starving in Africa. Definitely, good insight ! Thanks. Tom!
There is nothing particularily Japanese behind this.
My grandmother used to tell me to finish my plate or I would get it cold for breakfast the next morning. She also had for argument that people are starving in Africa. Her logic was that we had to eat while there was food. It's not because I risk an indigestion by eating too much that it will help the people starving. If the mentality between people in the same country and the same family can be that different (ie me and my grandmother), cultural misunderstanding are inevitable.

In Thailand, it's rude to finish the plates/dishes. It means that the host has not been able to satisfied you and consequently that he is too poor to provide enough food. That brings same and loss of face (very important in SE Asia).

That makes me ak, quoting TomAsInfinity :

You should never take the last piece because by finishing it all, it is saying that the host did not order enough food for everyone. Never take the last piece of anything to be polite

Tom, are you Thai ?

[moyashi]

@sleeping in meetings
hmmm ... not just in business but also in politics and various other meetings.

The Management class are most of the time just figure heads and their underlings are the ones who normally know more and do most of the work. The Buchos and such just make sure things run smooth. Not all companies of course, but quite a few.

Meetings themselves are terribly boring and if you had to sit through one you'd find it hard to stay awake too. The presentators normally just present something which most of the group already knows or is normally not big news. I evade most of the meetings at my high school since nothing really happens besides reading of news it seems.

Just another thing to get used about Japan ;)

[Anastasia]

um just wondering whats Ramen? it was said a few times and i have no idea what that is....

[thomas]

Check out the links below to get an idea

The Official Ramen Page

=> http://www.japanreference.com/cgi-bin/jump.cgi?ID=4428

World Ramen Net

=> http://www.japanreference.com/cgi-bin/jump.cgi?ID=4025

Definitely worth a try!
:ramen: