Grumpy cashier incident....

[Goldiegirl]

Ok, well, my husband and I were shopping at our local "super" discount store when we had a little incident at the checkout. Now my husband doesn't want to go back there as he feels uncomfortable. Here's the story, while we were checking out one of the items didn't have a price tag and I made the comment that that always happens to me. The cashier got really peeved at me and talking very loudly and rudely stated that it was her job and I shouldn't worry about it and get over it. Hmm, so I didn't say anything back. In my mind I remembered her rude treatment of me the last time I was there, but still I said nothing. Then she goes to scan a rubbermaid storage box and it doesn't scan but my husband puts it in the cart. He didn't realize that it didn't scan. The cashier became so angry she threw her scanning gun on her shelf and turned red in the face. I questioned her to make sure the box did or didn't scan, she refused to look at me or answer. I repeated the question with a little sarcasm in my voice as now I was getting upset. She snapped her head around and growled "How the heck should I know?", I told her it was her job to know. I thought my husband was going to die of shock at this point. Anyway she continued to slam our stuff around and mumble under her breath. I began to think that this young woman has a mental or emotional problem. When we finished checking out she wished me a less stressful and happy day. Her moods kept switching. As we were walking out I went to see the store manager. I told her what happened and that I think there is something wrong with this girl. I didn't want to make a scene or get her in trouble I just wanted to bring it to their attention. The store manager apologised and said the cashier had made a big mistake earlier in the day and is still mad. She also said that they have this kind of trouble with her often and they appreciated that I said something as they need to document this behaviour. Also, that the cashier does have a "disability" but she can't say what it is.

Sorry for the long story..but here's the thing...My husband feels bad for her and is upset with me for saying anything. I would guess that these matters are probably handled differently in Japan. He feels sorry for her and that I should have ignored the situation. Am I wrong? This was the second time that I have had trouble with her at the checkout. How would this situation be taken care of in Japan? And the best part is he tells me that she was nice to him! The heck she was, it's because he put the rubbermaid box in the cart that got her really mad, he just didn't understand what was going on! :okashii: What do you all think? Did I do something that would have been considered wrong in Japan? :souka:

[ArmandV]

Tell your hubby that in America, "the customer is always right!" (Some of the time.) It is best something was said as her antics makes the store look bad and she is a representative of the store. Plus, what if she physically attacks someone who tees her off in the future? By telling the manager, you may have headed off a heap of trouble for the store and the girl in particular. Maybe this could get her some anger management counseling?

[gaijinalways]

No. My Japanese wife avoids a certain cashier in our nearby supermarket because she thinks the woman is rude (I personally have used her myself when I visited the supermarket alone). She also reported the cashier's behaviour to the manager as well.

[Uncle Frank]

I am a wuss and let people walk all over me. My wife chops their head off with out flinching, or tells people on the phone to get lost. I always feel bad for the person and feel slightly embarassed. Tell your husband it's a man thing, not a culture thing, LOL. I'm with him!

Frank

:blush:

[Dutch Baka]

LoL, I think it depends on the person. Some Japanese wouldn't say anything, and some *like my funny mother in law* would say something.

[Goldiegirl]

I usually wouldn't say anything to a manager about an employee, but ArmandV said what I was thinking, that this woman needs some help. I know that the big chain stores make it a point to hire people with disabilites which is a good thing, but not if they can't do their job...and especially this person who was quite frightening with her odd way of snapping her words and then acting so nice in less than a second. It was strange. I've never had such an encounter before.

So it may be a male thing to walk away and not say anything and there is also a chance that it is a Japanese thing to walk a way as well and then avoid the situation. I still say that I did the right thing.

[ArmandV]

I usually wouldn't say anything to a manager about an employee, but ArmandV said what I was thinking, that this woman needs some help. I know that the big chain stores make it a point to hire people with disabilites which is a good thing, but not if they can't do their job...and especially this person who was quite frightening with her odd way of snapping her words and then acting so nice in less than a second. It was strange. I've never had such an encounter before.
So it may be a male thing to walk away and not say anything and there is also a chance that it is a Japanese thing to walk a way as well and then avoid the situation. I still say that I did the right thing.

It depends upon the male and, to be fair, it depends upon the severity of the situation. I think you did the right thing.

[yukio_michael]

I'm a supervisor/manager at a pharmacy/grocery store type place, and generally speaking, I would have sent the cashier home earlier in the day if she was going to have problems dealing with the public... It's generally our policy, and it's not something we punish people for... If someone is upset, then they may need to go home, and so we let them...

If the cashier is just plain rude, and we have complaints generally we write them up, and eventually, if their attitude continues (generally these people who are rude inevitably get caught stealing before they are actually fired for poor customer service), they eventually get fired... but I've yet to see that happen, as I've said, generally these people feel the company owes them something, even though the pay rate at almost any other job in my town is the same, they steal & they get caught...

I think if you go back, that cashier will probably be very nice to you, and will probably apologize for the way she acted... You can't discriminate against a person if they just happen to be slightly off-balance, but can normally function in a productive way at work. Still, if I were the manager, I would have sensed her difficulties and let her go home early.

[KirinMan]

Sorry for the long story..but here's the thing...My husband feels bad for her and is upset with me for saying anything. I would guess that these matters are probably handled differently in Japan. He feels sorry for her and that I should have ignored the situation. Am I wrong? This was the second time that I have had trouble with her at the checkout. How would this situation be taken care of in Japan?

I can understand how you are feeling and I can understand your husbands feelings as well. My wife and I have gotten into some interesting discussions about issues like this here as well.

I've been short changed at a supermarket and when I complained about it my wife tried to get me to just let it go and not make a scene in the store. I've had "bad" service at restaurants and complained about the poorly cooked food, things like that, and my wife told me that I should just let it go. She is non-confrontational and thinks similar to your husband that maybe the people were just having a difficult day and I should let it go.

I would say that it was probably a good experience for your husband to go through and I would also say that here in Japan there are those that "rock the boat" and complain and there are those that don't. It is purely up to the individual.

[thistle]

As other people have already said here, some japanese are confrontational in situations like that, and some are not. My husband was more of the confrontational type, who would always make a point of complaining, if there was reason to complain. But in my humble 20 year old experience in this
country I would have to say most japanese would try to avoid making a complaint or making a scene about something, it seems to be in their nature.
:relief: :souka:

[epigene]

My husband (Japanese in his late 50s) is also confrontational like thistle's. Although he hasn't had confrontations these days (because he no longer likes to go to central Tokyo and other crowded places where there is higher probability of meeting people who diss him), he is obstinate in pursuing justice and used to have higher-ups of organizations that failed in customer service coming knocking at our door to express apologies and offer boxes of cookies, discount coupons, etc. :blush:

And, yes, the Japanese in general don't like confrontations, but I think the situation in your husband's case is compounded by the fact that he didn't understand what was going on and, even if he did, by the fact that he can't argue back in English. Confidence is necessary when you want to fight back, and he is handicapped by not being in a Japanese-speaking environment.
Although I'm aware of you feeling burdened by having to be the interpreter for him in so many other cases, this is also something that you'll have to help him--that's part of having married a foreigner and living in your home country. The situation would have been the reverse if you had to live in Japan with your husband being the only person you can rely on.
I think he will eventually get used to these things and acquire adequate mastery of the language, but you'll still have to help him along for some time.

[DoctorP]

Sorry to hear about your incident, but management should have been called and let them handle it all. Don't get into a pissing contest in the US with low paid workers...you could easily get shot, or set off a killing spree!

[Pepe]

I work in retail, and there is no excuse for letting ones bad mood spill over into customer interaction. It is not the fault of the customer that someone is in a bad mood. Only when the customer steps over 'the line' does my attitude towards them change - of course I work in a liquor store so we different rules of engagement - but the general principle is the same.

[Mikawa Ossan]

Speaking for myself, I would have complained to the manager too, especially if the same thing happened to me here in Japan. Only I probably wouldn't have been as nice as you were.

I don't complain a lot here, but I've had occasion to do so at least three times.

[Mike Cash]

I think you did the right thing, and I'm proud of you.

I'm all for doing the socially charitable thing of going out of the way to provide the dignity that comes with gainful employment to people who have some condition that would make getting hired difficult....but there is no point in doing so and then placing the person in a position to which they are not suited, which so obviously conflicts with their abilities, and which is detrimental to the business.

[NekoMama7]

Next time, ask for a manager before the nutcase explodes.

I used to fight, but not anymore. Just a waste of time and energy. They won't get it. They never will. There are people who are truly crazy.

There are so many racist pigs out there that they think it's OK to be super rude right in our faces just because we're Asian. They would never do that to blacks! There are many white people who feel that it's demeaning to serve Asians in any form. And they don't hide it. After all, to them, no Amricans should look like us.

Maybe your hubby was just scared and fed up with the store. Why should you do business with a store that allows their employees to act that way?

Mentals are everywhere. It's universal.

[Goldiegirl]

I got the impression from the store manager that they have had problems with this particular woman and were happy that I said something. The manager said that they need to have documented or written up problems before they can address the situation. I understand the need for documentation but I also feel that if they are going to hire someone with emotional issues they shouldn't set her up in an area were her problems are triggered. I know someone above wrote she should have been sent home. I agree, if that was done none of this would have happened. I have a husband who doesn't want to shop there anymore and who thinks I was mean for saying something.

Mike Cash thanks, I am proud of myself too! I have always been the person who took poor service and only grumbled about it to myself and just accepted it; it made me feel worse. Really when you think about it by not saying anything you are basically agreeing with the poor treatment or service. I by no means made a scene, I quietly walked to front of the store to the service counter and asked to speak with the manager. I was alone as my husband wanted no part of this. I just told her what I thought of the employee that she seems very unstable. It was done in less than 5 minutes. I feel so much better knowing that I actually did something and didn't just take it! I also feel better knowing that other customers won't have to deal with her (hopefully).

I don't know if my husband was scared or not, but he did know that I was irritated and frustrated. I think maybe he was scared of me as I usually don't have a temper. I didn't mind so much her rude treatment of me, but somehow when she was grumbling about my husband under her breath it pushed me over the edge. Maybe part of it was that he was so darn nice to her after this that irked me as well.

[GodEmperorLeto]

Sorry to hear about your incident, but management should have been called and let them handle it all. Don't get into a pissing contest in the US with low paid workers...you could easily get shot, or set off a killing spree!
I'm not sure if I want to laugh or get offended. So I'll laugh.

I wouldn't say the customer is always right. No matter what side of the counter you are on, you have a right to be treated with courtesy and respect. You don't necessarily need to have a sacchrine smile and come off as sweet as corn syrup but you most certainly should be polite. Sometimes, saying, "Have a nice day," to a cashier or clerk first can really make their day. I've worked some tough jobs, and it always made me feel just a little better when someone was nice to me.

Now, I have a short temper when it comes to morons, and although I would never do it as an employee, when I see a customer giving a clerk a hard time, I usually jump to the clerk's defense, especially if the customer is obviously a rampaging ***** or trying to make a scene in order to get something for free.

That being said, I also never hesitate to complain to a manager if I feel an employee did not treat me with the respect and decency I deserve, especially since I always try to give them that courtesy as well. There is no excuse to be rude.

If the cashier made a mistake or a bad judgement call was made, I will make every effort to convey that I am not angry, but I will also say that I want the situation rectified. If I am shortchanged or overcharged, I won't make a scene or yell at anyone. I won't get mad, nor will I blame the cashier, he/she's human, everyone makes mistakes. However, I will get my money back, period.

Anyway, that's my two pennies.

Goldiegirl, you obviously did the right thing. If the person has mental or emotional disabilities that hinder her performance in the service industry, than she obviously does not belong there. Perhaps they should move her to stocking shelves or other duties, but the less interaction she has with customers, the better. Unfortunately, store managers are not rocket scientists, nor are they the most compassionate individuals on the face of the planet, but, hey, there's no excuse for her actions, no matter how mad or upset she was.

Your husband feeling sorry for her provides proof that he is a good person.

[Goldiegirl]

Yes, he is a good person! Darn it. probably nicer and more forgiving than me as well. Thanks for the reminder GodEmperorLeto. :)

[NekoMama7]

You know, once you hire someone, even under the at-will contract, it's hard to fire someone for being crazy, in fear of litigation. Crazies usually don't have the case, but because they're often obsessed, they will go after their former employers for years (often changing lawyers many times or worse - representing themselves). That's the very reason the store needed documentation for the incident.

[Goldiegirl]

Yep, it's hard to fire people. I wish that they wouldn't have placed this woman in what seems to me a position that was ultimately going to lead to failure.

[maushan3]

The store manager said the employee has had some problems and that he/she had some sort of mental problem, so, it's very sad and all, but business is business, the customer needs to be treated with respect, and this person could certainly scare some people off the store. Would I been the store manaer, I would've fired the person already.

Something happened to my dad... he regularly buys the newspaper on the street with street vendors right next to my house (they are permitted in Mexico), and he came first to buy a newspapaer, he was handing the money to the paperguy, when he just stormed off to sell a newspaper to a passerby car. My dad thought that was so rude, he complained to him and all and just decided that he would never be back with him and so be it.

Mauricio

[Taiko666]

Next time, ask for a manager before the nutcase explodes.
I used to fight, but not anymore. Just a waste of time and energy. They won't get it. They never will. There are people who are truly crazy.
There are so many racist pigs out there that they think it's OK to be super rude right in our faces just because we're Asian. They would never do that to blacks! There are many white people who feel that it's demeaning to serve Asians in any form. And they don't hide it. After all, to them, no Amricans should look like us.

Hi NekoMama7, reading GoldieGirl's account of the incident I can't spot anything that would suggest that it was due to racism. Just extremely bad manners from a stressed/unstable employee.

Your account of American racism (just 'whites'?) against Asians is also highly disturbing... but take comfort in the fact that there are robust laws against racism in the USA, and you have strong legal redress. When such laws are eventually enacted in Japan, I'm sure they'll be used rather often (probably against certain high-profile Japanese politicians... )


Maybe your hubby was just scared and fed up with the store.

I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.

[gaijinalways]

When such laws are eventually enacted in Japan, I'm sure they'll be used rather often (probably against certain high-profile Japanese politicians... )

I won't hold my breath for that day.:p

I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.

Not according to my Japanese wife.:blush: :okashii:

[yukio_michael]

I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.You've obviously never been around an Obatarian have you!? : )

[NekoMama7]

Hi NekoMama7, reading GoldieGirl's account of the incident I can't spot anything that would suggest that it was due to racism. Just extremely bad manners from a stressed/unstable employee.
Your account of American racism (just 'whites'?) against Asians is also highly disturbing... but take comfort in the fact that there are robust laws against racism in the USA, and you have strong legal redress. When such laws are eventually enacted in Japan, I'm sure they'll be used rather often (probably against certain high-profile Japanese politicians... )
I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.

Being a naturalized Japanese American born and grew up in Tokyo, I can tell you that ordinary average Japanese are quite racists. They might now show it to you right in your face, but it's there. I just gave one example and you seem to decide that I can only spot racism by Whites, and that I'm ignorant with the US laws, cultures and what's out there. Laws are laws. It's not quite the same as reality. I wish life was as easy as the world you live in.

You have no idea how many charges and litigations are filed against corporations by their former and current employees with mental problems. It can get very expensive to fire people these days unless you have a solid case. But that does not justify plain "rude" behaviors. Ignorance plays a large role in this. And unprocessed anger that are misdirected. Come to think of it, working as a cashier making minimum wage is not everyone's dream job.

[GodEmperorLeto]

Your account of American racism (just 'whites'?) against Asians is also highly disturbing... but take comfort in the fact that there are robust laws against racism in the USA, and you have strong legal redress.

Okay, I'm going to throw in my two cents here...

I'm getting tired of people playing the race card, and not necessarily on the forums, but in general. Especially when students from Asian countries come to the United States and complain to me that when they get a somewhat aloof, unhelpful, or just plain rude storeclerk, or when some drunken frat brother yells at them from out of his car, that it is because they are being discriminated against. It is difficult for me to hold in my frustration when I explain that the storeclerks are useless to me, too, or that the fratboys scream obscenities or throw water balloons at me, too.

Actually, to many of us, race is just another physical feature, and foreignness isn't certain until somebody opens their mouth. For example, my friend, Rish, is from India, but I never knew (I'd known him for two years) until he told me, because he speaks with no accent and he is immersed in our culture. He grew up for 25 years in India, and assimilated within 3 or 4 years. He's a special case, but I was shocked when I heard him complaining about his work Visa and his desire for citizenship.

Now, there are places where race is an issue. They are the deep, deep parts of the South. And nowadays there are plenty of people living in the southern states that are not racist one bit. Racism persists, true, but honestly, I believe that minorities are more racist than whites these days. In fact, ever since I was a kid, I've been bombarded with images that I am inherently evil and responsible for all that is wrong with the world because I am a white, Christian male.

When such laws are eventually enacted in Japan, I'm sure they'll be used rather often (probably against certain high-profile Japanese politicians...

Thanks for noting that, by the way. And this wasn't directed at you, Taiko, but more as just a general rant. It was, to me, yet another case of "Someone Claiming Discrimination Because They Met an *******, Not a Racist".

Being a naturalized Japanese American born and grew up in Tokyo, I can tell you that ordinary average Japanese are quite racists.

You noting this clears things up a bit, and I think, illuminates your motivation for posting what you said. Like I said, don't think the above rant was directed at you in particular, it was just something for everyone to think about.

I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.

Oh, God, please, please tell me you've shown him Clerks. Especially if his English is really good and he's really acclimated to American culture that he can follow all of the references.

[KirinMan]

I'm getting tired of people playing the race card, and not necessarily on the forums, but in general. Especially when students from Asian countries come to the United States and complain to me that when they get a somewhat aloof, unhelpful, or just plain rude storeclerk, or when some drunken frat brother yells at them from out of his car, that it is because they are being discriminated against.

Now then let's all go and proclaim next month "White History" month and see how much s**t hits the fan.:wary: :shock: :evil:

Seriously now, when you walk into Mitsukoshi in Japan I expect to be treated with certain deference and respect, but at Lawson I don't expect the 17 yr old clerk to be bending over and kissing my butt.

In the states too, if I go to Walmart I don't expect the clerks there to be the most articulate people in the world either but while I do expect a certain level of respect due my status as a customer however I am not going to go overboard expecting red carpet treatment either.

I think that Goldiegirl was correct in her handling of the situation, but I also think that the store should have done a better job in screening the employee for the work that she was doing. It was also a great experience for her husband as well. There are all sorts of jobs in a store like that, they don't have to have a person with a Jeckyl and Hyde personality talking to customers either.

I think he would've been completely dismayed, since such aggressive rudeness is almost unkown in Japanese shops.

Mmm, I am going to have to disagree with you here, On the surface here this is true it isn't "unknown", not by a long shot. I have been in stores throughout Kyushu and live in Okinawa, I've been to Tokyo and Osaka numerous times and believe from my experience while this opinion you have here may be commonly accepted as the truth, it is urban legend as well.

I've had experiences with any number of rude people in the service industry here as well as any number of friends and family members also.

[maushan3]

Now, there are places where race is an issue. They are the deep, deep parts of the South. And nowadays there are plenty of people living in the southern states that are not racist one bit. Racism persists, true, but honestly, I believe that minorities are more racist than whites these days. In fact, ever since I was a kid, I've been bombarded with images that I am inherently evil and responsible for all that is wrong with the world because I am a white, Christian male.

Now, I wonder how people in the more-educated areas of the United States would behave in a more open-minded thinking. That's real, I don't think I experienced racism in the southern U.S., but rather strange, I thought the more racist people were a minority (won't tell which race since I don't want to start problems around here).

Yes, racism persists, but now it is less and less prevalent nowadays since people are begginning to think more on a global setting than like in their own ranch.

As for the White Christian male part, I think you are right, I don't know how old you are, but I have been told that the Church was, and still is, doing many mistakes like scaring people off and condemning them to hell for all the sins they made.

Mauricio

[Goldiegirl]

I don't think the USA could ever have "white history month" or all white universities, all white tv shows, commercials, magazines, rodeos...it would be called racist. That said, I will say that in no way do I think my incident was in anyway racial. I think it was a mentally unstable woman having a bad day.

[KirinMan]

I don't think the USA could ever have "white history month" or all white universities, all white tv shows, commercials, magazines, rodeos...it would be called racist. That said, I will say that in no way do I think my incident was in anyway racial. I think it was a mentally unstable woman having a bad day.

I am pretty sure you get the point I am attempting to make here. Caucasian is a "race" as well.:-)

And I agree that I dont believe that this case was in any way racially motivated either.

[GodEmperorLeto]

That said, I will say that in no way do I think my incident was in anyway racial. I think it was a mentally unstable woman having a bad day.

Yeah, that's what I think it was too.

Sorry for the rant. Maybe it would have been better placed somewhere else, but I just sort of hit a point where I have been sick of hearing this sort of thing at work at least once a week.

[Goldiegirl]

I liked the rant! :) And no I haven't shown him "Clerks". I haven't seen it myself.:blush: I think I'll look it up.

[maushan3]

I don't think the USA could ever have "white history month" or all white universities, all white tv shows, commercials, magazines, rodeos...it would be called racist. That said, I will say that in no way do I think my incident was in anyway racial. I think it was a mentally unstable woman having a bad day.

There was a news that was about a high school in New York, Stuyvesant High School in NYC to be exact. This school had aftercurricular clubs and there were these clubs called "Black League" or "Asian" or "Hispanic" Clubs. So, some white kids tried to do their club, and they were refused to do so by their school. This seems pretty racist to me. Why is all we saw Black History Month or Hispanic Heritage, what's wrong with White Heritage Month? At first, it might sound racist, but then, when thinking about it, White is a race and no matter what some of their ancestors did, these new generations have nothing to do with what their ancestors did... I must say, that from what I see in the new generations, racism is pretty close to nil.

Mauricio

[Goldiegirl]

Update! We went to the store today. My husband didn't realize that it was "the" store of the now infamous grumpy cashier incident. He forgot which store the incident happened; we have quite a few around here. Well, when he realised that it was this store I had to drag him in there. He was protesting the whole way. I told him that he can't let this control him. I did nothing wrong and have no reason why I shouldn't go into that store, so neither should he. Finally we agreed that we can shop there but just avoid the grumpy worker's checkout line. That's ok with me. I was just glad that I could get him in the store and hopefully we can continue shopping there without further problems. BTW she was working and seemed pleasant. I hope she can keep herself together so she can keep her job. It's good to work.

[Taiko666]

You've obviously never been around an Obatarian have you!? : )

Indeed, I have to plead ignorance here! I had to google for 'obatarian'.

Of course, Japanese staff (waiters especially) have been rude to me in their own, 'ignore the gaijin even though he's speaking Japanese' way, but I've never seen such an angry outburst in Japan. Yet...