legal name change (spouse) in Japan

[kyototrent]

Hi there,

This is probably a difficult question - my wife no longer wishes to use my family name and wishes to use her maiden name again.

In Canada, this wouldn't be a problem - you don't even need a form, you can just start using your maiden name without any documentation needed (according to the Canadian Office of Vital Statistics).

In Japan, the wife is not supposed to have a different name than the husband - yet almost all my friends' wives use their maiden names. When we married, my wife had her name officially changed to my name in Japan. When she went to the ward office last week and asked about changing it back to her maiden name, they told her it would be 'impossible'.

Surely there is a way to do this.

Any ideas on how to get the ball rolling? I don't want to force my wife to keep my family name if she doesn't want to. I asked a few friends and they think I need to hire an attorney...

Regards,

KT

[nice gaijin]

I'm afraid I don't know the specifics of switching names, but I'm curious as to why your wife doesn't want to use your name anymore. Is it just a hassle for a native (assuming she's Japanese) to deal with a foreign surname? When your friends got married they were somehow able to keep their last names legally?

[kyototrent]

OK here's the situation:

My wife despises my family and everyone in it. hence her desire to change back to her family's name. From my perspective my family has done nothing wrong, and they are insulted by her attitude. Suffice it to say I feel like a slab of meat between a mallet and a cutting board :(

I don't want to go into details, but suffice it to say she has had issues with my family since the get-go. Since we have three children, I am fighting to remain married, because I know if we get a divorce the Japanese legal system will effectively shut me out. She is fine with remaining married, as long as she has no association with my family, name included.

With the friends, they all got married out-of-country, and their wives chose not to change their names (in accordance with the law in the countries where they were married). That means their names remain the same in Japan, even though they are married.

Regards,
KT

[Mars Man]

An old confucian saying, 'What has been done, cannot be undone' (as written in the little book down at the local courthouse. hee, hee, hee....)

Seriously, I am afraid that you are stuck...well, I mean your wife is stuck. As far as I know it cannot be changed again...ever. When my wife decided (or we, actually) decided to have her name changed in order to make sure one mistake wouldn't lead to another (which it did anyway...har, har, har....) they told us...and I very clearly recall the words...if you do this, you can never go back to the Japanese family name; is that ok.

So, unless the law has changed somewhere (and I seriously doubt that, the legal systems looks good in moss, they seem to think) your wife has no choice but to use your family name or...maybe it's possible...remarry.

[sanji]

To change your name in the Japanese system is quite difficult, except the first 3 months after getting married, when a woman you switch easily from her maiden name to her husband name.

In all other cases, including in yours, you (your wife in this case) need to go in front of a judge, in Japan, and justify her request. The judge can accept or reject it. I don't think you need a lawyer, but you have to be prepare to document your request. This shouldn't be too difficult ("I miss my country, I want to have my original name back" stuff)...

sanji

[Glenski]

Those friends of yours... are their wives Japanese? Were their names officially changed, or did they just keep using their names at work and officially change?

How long have you been married? Why does she want to change her name back?

I think you are better off with a lawyer, too.