letter translation

[addicted2pocky]

i'm sending this quick email to a friend and would like some help translating it:-)

"I am in Nagoya again going to Nanzan University.

I would like to come and talk to you again sometime soon.
When would be the best time ( a good time)?
Please let me know. "

arigatou~

[undrentide]

Can you post your attempt first?
Them we'll be able to help. :)

[addicted2pocky]

here's my attempt:
私は再び名古屋にいて、南山大学に通う予定です。
出来るだけ早くもう一度あなたとお会いして、お話をし たいと思っています。
ご都合のよい日にちをお知らせください。
actually someone helped me a little bit, but to me, it sounds a little too formal.
is there another way i can say it a bit more casual or friendly? but still polite:-)

[kameron]

I guess the following is slightly more casual.

私は再び名古屋にいて、南山大学に通う予定だよ。
出来るだけ早くもう一度あなたとお会いして、お話をし たいと思っている。
ご都合のよい日にちをお知らせください。

[undrentide]

here's my attempt:
私は再び名古屋にいて、南山大学に通う予定です。
出来るだけ早くもう一度あなたとお会いして、お話をし たいと思っています。
ご都合のよい日にちをお知らせください。
actually someone helped me a little bit, but to me, it sounds a little too formal.
is there another way i can say it a bit more casual or friendly? but still polite:-)

Are you already in Nagoya going to Nanzen Uni?
Your attempt sounds like your plan in the future.
If you're talking about the present, it should be
私はまた名古屋で南山大学に通っています。

And yes, the 2nd and 3rd sentences are rather formal.
If it is for your friend, then I'd write something like this:
また「あなた」に会ってお話ししたいです。
(better replace あなた with your friend's name, like xx san, xx chan, etc.
Or omit the whole あなたに.)

都合がいいのはいつ（ですか）？教えてね。
or
いつが都合がいいか知らせてね。
都合がいい日を教えてね。

[Elizabeth]

Are you already in Nagoya going to Nanzen Uni?
Your attempt sounds like your plan in the future.
If you're talking about the present, it should be
私はまた名古屋で南山大学に通っています。

And yes, the 2nd and 3rd sentences are rather formal.
If it is for your friend, then I'd write something like this:
また「あなた」に会ってお話ししたいです。
In English I would just say meet again sometime soon. Come and talk to sounds like you have something really serious to say or even like it will be bad news for your friend. :relief:

ちかいうちに、また会いたい（お会いしたい）と思います（会いたいです、お会いできればいいで す）。。。

[addicted2pocky]

oh, ok. yeah that ”come and talk” does sound a little weird:relief:
thanks elizabeth.
so all together what do you think i should say?
is this,
ちかいうちに、また会いたい（お会いしたい）と思いま すが（会いたいのですが、お会いできればいいですが） 。。。
all i should write?

[epigene]

In English I would just say meet again sometime soon. Come and talk to sounds like you have something really serious to say or even like it will be bad news for your friend. :relief:

ちかいうちに、また会いたい（お会いしたい）と思いま すが（会いたいのですが、お会いできればいいですが） 。。。
What undrentide posted is all right and natural. Any implicit connotation comes from context. Since there is no context suggesting this in the message, there is no need to alter undrentide's suggestion.

[addicted2pocky]

thanks everyone for the help : )
i have one more question, how would i say just "sometime soon"?

thanks everyone for the help : )
i have one more question, how would i say just "sometime soon"?

[epigene]

thanks everyone for the help : )
i have one more question, how would i say just "sometime soon"?

近いうちに should be OK
If you want to be vague about when you meet, you can use そのうちに

HTH! :-)

[addicted2pocky]

thanks. ok, here is my final letter. how does it sound?

こんにちは、
今、私は名古屋にいます。
南山大学は楽しいです。
近いうちにみずほくに来たいしまた会いたいです。or (近いうちにみずほくに来たいし会ってお話したいです� B)
つごうがいい日はいつですか。（教えてください）。

on the last part should i put 教えてください？ or leave it as it is? whichever way sounds less pushy i guess.

[Elizabeth]

thanks. ok, here is my final letter. how does it sound?
こんにちは、
今、私は名古屋にいます。
南山大学は楽しいです。
近いうちにみずほくに来たいしまた会いたいです。or (近いうちにみずほくに来たいし会ってお話したいです。)
つごうがいい日はいつですか。（教えてください）。
on the last part should i put 教えてください？ or leave it as it is? whichever way sounds less pushy i guess.
みずほくに来たいし So みずほく is where you want to meet, right ? You should say you want to go not come...but either way it sounds a little clunky to repeat "want to" go and "want to see you" so I say best to leave that section out entirely.

Or, just link the two clauses more elegantly to create : I want to go and see you. ちかいうちに、また（あなたのところに）会いに（遊び）に行きたいです。。。

You could also attach Name の都合のよいときに to the front but maybe simply

いつがご都合よろしいでしょうか。 ends up most natural -- that is softest and most polite. :-)

[Elizabeth]

What undrentide posted is all right and natural. Any implicit connotation comes from context. Since there is no context suggesting this in the message, there is no need to alter undrentide's suggestion.
OK, thanks epigene. :) There was no intent to undermine undrentide's suggestion. I wanted simply to point out that the phrase in English generally sets up the expectation of either a rather severe talking to, or conversely I suppose heavy amount of time to be spent in intimate conversation.

For myself, I tend to want to say お会いしたいです when it is a good friend that I am very much anticipating meeting again only for the reason that is what has been most often used towards me. But since it was brought up, あって話したい would seem to work, too, for those...uhh not necessarily annoying but for those especially chatty friend reunions. :relief:

[addicted2pocky]

how would i say, "when would be a good time to come and see you". in one sentence?

[undrentide]

how would i say, "when would be a good time to come and see you". in one sentence?

If it is for a very close friend, I'd say
会いに行きたいけれど、いつなら都合がいい？
or
会いに行きたいんだけど、いつなら大丈夫？
(both in a very friendly and casual manner.)

[addicted2pocky]

how would i say it more politely? my friend is older than i am, and i want to be a bit more formal, but not too formal:-)

[addicted2pocky]

i came up with this. is it ok?

私はまた名古屋に来ています。( i am now in nagoya again)
南山はとても楽しいです。(nanzan is very fun.)
もう一度お会いしたいと思っていました。(i was hoping to see you again sometime soon.)
いつごろがよいでしょうか？ (when would be a good time?)

[Mike Cash]

here's my attempt:
私は再び名古屋にいて、南山大学に通う予定です。
出来るだけ早くもう一度あなたとお会いして、お話をし たいと思っています。
ご都合のよい日にちをお知らせください。
actually someone helped me a little bit, but to me, it sounds a little too formal.
is there another way i can say it a bit more casual or friendly? but still polite:-)

Someone helped you "a little bit"? If that was the result of "a little bit" of help then you'd be at the point you wouldn't even have to ask this question here. That's not "a little bit"; that's a "somebody did it for me".

There's no shame in needing help and asking questions. But don't go insulting our intelligence.

[addicted2pocky]

fyi, i did that one mostly by myself , someone helped me with a particle.

[Elizabeth]

i came up with this. is it ok?
私はまた名古屋に来ています。( i am now in nagoya again)
南山はとても楽しいです。(nanzan is very fun.)
もう一度お会いしたいと思っていました。(i was hoping to see you again sometime soon.)
いつごろがよいでしょうか？ (when would be a good time?)
This is fine except for 私はまた名古屋に来ています。which sounds like "I have come to Nagoya again" -- and that you don't live there.

ちかいうちに、またお会いしたいと思っていました。(i was hoping to see you again sometime soon.) いつごろがよいでしょうか？

[addicted2pocky]

can i say いています。？orいます。？

[Mike Cash]

You only needed help with "a particle" on that 立派な日本語 above....yet you ask about いています? I can't be the only person thinking taffy is being distributed.

[orochi]

Use this:

お久しぶりです。(your name here)です。
今、名古屋にいて南山大学に通っています。
お茶でも飲みに行きませんか？
都合がいい日を教えてください。
お返事を楽しみに待っています。

[Elizabeth]

can i say いています。？orいます。？
Yes, and there is a difference in nuance with all of these. But you first need to communicate to us clearly EXACTLY what you intend to say -- in English. Then you need to worry about clarity and not making basic mistakes in Japanese. Then it's on to getting fussy with feeling and connotation....

Although 会いたいです（が） or お会いしたいです（が） are definately most natural.


Wakatta ? :relief: