Translating into Japanese Help

[sigmentofb]

Hello-

I was wondering if anybody here would be able to translate this letter into Japanese. I am going to attempt to write letters to relatives in Japan who my family has lost contact with over the years. I wrote in what I could since I haven't learned enough to write complex sentences. Please change around any phrases that you may think would be awkward/strange to translate or offensive/weird to the recipiant. Any help is greatly appreciated!

Dear 平山 和弘-

My name is エリック 西本 and I am writing to you because I think we are related. I am writing only because I am researching my family history. My great-great grandfather 平山 源藏 was born in Kumamoto-ken, Kikuchi-gun, Waifu-machi in 1880 and immigrated to Hawaii in 1900 with his wife ハツ. 源藏さん had a daughter, 平山 シヅエ, who is my great-grandmother. I was wondering if you know anything about this particular family and would be able to provide information on the ancestors of 源藏さん. I have provided a Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelope for your convenience.

ありがとうございます.

Sincerely

-エリック 西本

[sigmentofb]

Here's part of what I attempted to write. I don't know how to write more complex compound sentences quite yet...

私はエリック 西本です。 私の平山源藏は高祖父です。 源藏は明治十三年七月十七日に生まれました。 源藏の長女シヅエは明治三十六年三月一日に生まれました。

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

[NANGI]

Konnichiwa sigmentofb-san!

Here is the translation of your English.

Dear 平山 和弘-
平山 和弘さんへ

My name is エリック 西本 and I am writing to you because I think we are related.
わたしは、エリック 西本と申します。わたしと平山さんとの家族の間には何らかの関係があるのではないかと思い、お手紙させてい ただきました。

I am writing only because I am researching my family history.
わたしの家族の歴史を調べましたので、書かせていただきます。ぜひご一読ください。

My great-great grandfather 平山 源藏 was born in Kumamoto-ken, Kikuchi-gun, Waifu-machi in 1880 and immigrated to Hawaii in 1900 with his wife ハツ.
わたしの高祖父は平山 源藏、明治13年7月17日に熊本県菊池郡で生まれました。高祖母(源藏の妻)の名前はマチです。二人は明 治33年にハワイへ移住しました。

源藏さん had a daughter, 平山 シヅエ, who is my great-grandmother.
源藏の娘、シヅエがわたしの曽祖母です。明治36年3月1日生まれです。

I was wondering if you know anything about this particular family and would be able to provide information on the ancestors of 源藏さん.
もし平山さんがわたしの高祖父についてご存知ならば、また高祖父より以前のご先祖様について知っておられま したら、どのようなことでも結構ですので教えていただけないでしょうか。

I have provided a Self-Addressed-Stamped-Envelope for your convenience.
必要であるなら、SASE(Self Addressed Stamped Envelope:返信用切手を貼って宛先を書いた封筒を同封）をお送りすることも出来ます。


I think you should add the sentence "突然のお手紙、失礼いたします。" in front and "最後まで手紙を読んでいただきまして、ありがとうございます。返事を心よりお待ちしております 。" in last. Both sentence are standard greeting of letter.

NANGI

[sigmentofb]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate the help.