Offer them money or not ?

[Homerduff]

Last summer I attended a summer program in Tokyo, and was staying with a homestay family the whole time. We have been in contact up till now, and I let them know that I would visit them in March. Now the father of the family invited me to stay over with them for the whole trip what I'm also planning to do.

I will definetly do household stuff all the time, and I will offer them money in the end. But I'm pretty close with my homestay family; the father even said that they are my "real" family in Japan. In this case, maybe it's not appropriate to offer them money ? If I would do, it would more look like I don't feel the same way about them wouldn't it ? Maybe I could pay them back in the end with presents..

What is most appropriate to do ?

[ArmandV]

If they decline money offers, offer to help with paying for your food. If nothing else, take them out to dinner.

[Glenski]

For goodness' sake, at the least you should bring gifts! Something for the last time's thanks, and something you give on the day you leave this time.

[nice gaijin]

absolutely. Saturate them with omiyage.

[Pachipro]

I agree with nice gaijin and Glenski, BRING THEM GIFTS, but do not be expected to pay a single yen if they invited you and feel the way about you as you have written.

You can offer out of good will, but it will be probably be rejected. If it is, don't push it. As Armand mentioned, offer to take them out for dinner and make sure to pay in advance or they will pay for you! In fact, you can even insist on it and feign anger in that you want to pay. This usually works.

In the end, if they invited you, you will not be allowed to pay them even if you tried.

[Chi65]

Are you an artist, maybe? In such a case, a piece of your art or a bigger good foto will always be warmly welcomed!
I did this a lot, in many countries, and everywhere it was just right and fine. Music will be as fine, by the way.
Sometimes I offered a little workshop/lecture/lesson, that was the icing indeed!

[bruno]

When money,then put it in an envelop with a nice picture
of yourself and make it as a present " To open after Departure !!":cool:

[BobbyS]

What summer program? I wanna go.

[Homerduff]

What summer program? I wanna go.

http://www.langubridge.org/

Ofcourse I will take gifts this time again and buy some presents in Japan too.

As for food; I was thinking of buying deserts at least. They love it but still they are not used to it as we are.

And yeah, I should invite them for dinner somewhere. It will be hard to go with all 7 of us but it should work.

I was also going to invite my oldest host brother to stay over at my place for some time after his graduation from high school.

Thanks for the replies and I'll keep you posted !

[Chi65]

Oh, a little gift tip, since you also should have it over there:

All my japanese friends were delighted to taste some "Kapern", how are they called over there? The little green pickled buds. They don't have it in Japan, but its exactly their taste!
Some ate them like we eat sweets, right out of the glass, hehe.

http://kraeuter.aid.de/bilder/gross/kapern.jpg

Together with a fine pasta recepie, you can't go wrong at all!

http://www.foolforfood.de/media/kapernolivensauce_02.jpg

They will keep you in their heart for sure!

Much luck!

[Homerduff]

Really ? We call them "Kappertjes" and I absolutely love it. I used to eat them like sweets too :-).

I'll take some glasses with me.

[nice gaijin]

I know them as "capers"

[Chi65]

Thats surely the same stuff. They will be delighted!
You could open a business with this, I suppose. . .

Maybe the little "cornichon" should also be their taste then, or pickles in general.

Its worth a try, and no big thing in the baggage, right?

Enjoy and let us know, how it was!

It is very well possible, that you can get them in Japan now, you could not a few years ago. But even if now, they are most probably pure luxury there. Thus its still worth the try. . .

Hehe, they will be flooded with Capers next!!

Thats how we call it: jemanden (s.o.) kapern, taking a ship over like pirates originally.
Funny kind of "Green"-peace and Co. (OK, OK, I know, the Greenpeace don't "kaper", but maybe this way? Just a funny idea;-))

PS:
I forgot to say, that offering things for cooking and eating is very good style in Japan, but you should think about a fine wrapping!

[Chi65]

Thanks for the poster, that just informed me, that Caper is to be found in Japan now. No problem, its still a good gift, and probably original and still cheaper in Belgium.
But if you don't want to carry it, its already there.;-)

[Chi65]

What keeps me busy for a while already:

Some Japanese really love to get more informations about the location and country, you are coming from. Thus any material from there, be it fotos, books, music, artwork or typical local specialities etc. are most welcome too.