Japanese Parents

[JapanAlex]

are awful

I'm sorry but it's true:

1. they teach no morals to the children - they just expect immature children to understand complex feelings and reasons by saying "na"

2. do not give them any discipline or give them ludacrious punishments which teach them nothing

3. their complete lack of self-worth and confidence leaves the child feeling paranoid and almost depressed even from ages of 2 and 3

4. get angry at my boss for not using "Japanese style of teaching" - actual words people

this woman thinks that the children are not allowed to think for themselves - I mean for christ's sake this enviroment is cultivating self-worth and allows them all to work hard and have fun at the same time (giving the school one of the best records in the area!)

it's ******* hillarious!

has any other English teachers here experienced absolute spastication from the hands of any Japanese parents?

[Mars Man]

Of course there will be parents like that in any social group, and of course social groups (and even sub-groups) will have their leans in 'mind set (so to speak) in such areas as child rearing too.

It is always an easy thing to make broad-sweeping blanket statements, but it is extremely far more productive-in-outcome and positive a thing to be more accurate and specific--there is a spectrum of quality among parents in Japan.

I moved this here due to this sub-forum being the more correct.

[Mikawa Ossan]

I have never met the parents of which you complain, of course, but you can't seriously think that the parents you meet at your place of employment are representative of all parents at large in Japan. There'S just too many of them who come from different backgrounds.

When we move to a foreign country, it's easy to think that the surroundings we face are representative of the entire country, but that's not necessarily true. Osaka and any place in Nagano, for example, are entirely different. The people are different, too.

Please don't dismiss all parents just because you have some bad experiences with a few.

[JapanAlex]

i know this sounds like a broad statement to make but with the whole peer pressure thing in Japan its very common IMO

i always act like myself around the parents - but its difficult because you have to keep a good atmosphere - they cant just get it on their own

this sounds very racist but for me its true so..

any help? ..lol

[undrentide]

When we move to a foreign country, it's easy to think that the surroundings we face are representative of the entire country, but that's not necessarily true. Osaka and any place in Nagano, for example, are entirely different. The people are different, too.

Cannot agree with you more, MO! :cool:

[JapanAlex]

Cannot agree with you more, MO! :cool:

i am not naive so don't blatently patronise me - if you have nothing to say on the subject don't say anything :p

[Damicci]

Maybe if this thread was created in a more suggestive view than the bias one we are reading now, It could be easier to chew on. The feeling animosity is just making things tougher. Not every country will have the same cultural standards as yours in regards to raising a child.

My wife must have learned her morals somewhere else.

[Mikawa Ossan]

any help?
Since you ask for help, I ask you this. Are you involved in any way with setting your company policy, and either way, how much direct contact do you have with your students's parents?

If the answers are no and not much, it seems to me to be a bit of a non-issue. However if the answers are yes and quite a bit, it's a whole different set of circumstances, and perhaps someone will have some insight into how to better cope. What kind of help are you looking for, exactly?

[Uncle Frank]

if you dealt with kids and parents alot before you came to Japan? I hear the same type of comments from teachers here in the US about the kids and parents they deal with. My guess is that no matter what country you go to , some teachers would say the same thing.

Uncle Frank

:?

[JapanAlex]

if you dealt with kids and parents alot before you came to Japan? I hear the same type of comments from teachers here in the US about the kids and parents they deal with. My guess is that no matter what country you go to , some teachers would say the same thing.
Uncle Frank
:?

yes, how true :-)

I guess I am just a little frustrated and need someone to rant with

as you have probably already figured out :cool:

[anjusan]

I agree with Uncle Frank here. Did you expect the situation to be a little different before you arrived? Now that you see what reality is like, are you feeling a bit reluctant to go with the flow?

The attitudes you convey in your posts exhibit a bit of ethnocentricity. :blush:

[JapanAlex]

Maybe if this thread was created in a more suggestive view than the bias one we are reading now, It could be easier to chew on. The feeling animosity is just making things tougher. Not every country will have the same cultural standards as yours in regards to raising a child.
My wife must have learned her morals somewhere else.

well I am sorry to have offended you :gomen:

[JapanAlex]

I agree with Uncle Frank here. Did you expect the situation to be a little different before you arrived? Now that you see what reality is like, are you feeling a bit reluctant to go with the flow?
The attitudes you convey in your posts exhibit a bit of ethnocentricity. :blush:

well yes that's fair

but for me I deeply value society - for me society is almost more important than anything - as it gives the freedom and space for all kinds of people to grow and find themselves

what bugs me about Japan is:- it doesn't feel like the society they want to create is a very good one imo

there's no point me really speaking about this but I just want to RANT gaar just let me be human again please! if only in this single flippin thread..

you guys can't seriously think I'll believe that not one of you have found the society here drilling into your conscience?

I guess noone here is willing to at least understand where I am coming from - over being a repsonsible adult :( lol.

[anjusan]

there's no point me really speaking about this but I just want to RANT gaar just let me be human again please! if only in this single flippin thread..

Ah, but you did not initially let us know you were ranting, Alex...

It sounds like you are a little frustrated at the moment and in need of relieving stress. It's okay to feel that way occasionally.

If you announce it, as in the 'title' I used, then people will be on the alert that you are not serious and approach your post perhaps a bit differently.

[Mikawa Ossan]

there's no point me really speaking about this but I just want to RANT gaar just let me be human again please! if only in this single flippin thread..Feel free to rant, but remember that you must take responsibility for what you say here, too. :cool:

you guys can't seriously think I'll believe that not one of you have found the society here drilling into your conscience?I'm not sure what you mean here, but I don't think that anyone here is trying to suggest that Japanese society is perfect. Just that in the bigger picture, it's not all that bad, either.

I guess noone here is willing to at least understand where I am coming from - over being a repsonsible adult :( lol.Understanding and agreeing are two different things.

[JapanAlex]

I don't want anyone to agree with me

I know whenever you ramble on the internet bad things happen *grumble*

I am pretty serious about this though albeit a rant

It just pains me to see so many children without confidence!! I have spoken to many Japanese people and a few said that confidence is viewed as arrogance in Japan

I can understand this as sometimes I find over-confidence very annoying and obnoxious (hay! kinda like me lol!) but to totally deminish someone's RIGHT to at least find their own confidence is downright sickening

[Mikawa Ossan]

When you say "confidence", what do you mean, specifically? Personally I think that self-confidence is highly valued here in Japan, although it might be expressed in a different way than in the West.

[JapanAlex]

I don't think valued can be applied here (haha I'm so sarcastic *@*!)

hm.. i just think that the way people have this constant pressure/fear of others is too much for any child to really deal with - I just don't understand - I think societies are meant to get better, people learning from mistakes but I feel the adults in Japan can't suck it up for their kids!

when you have kids you need to learn that you must sacrifice so much for them

now i sound like an ***..

[Mikawa Ossan]

I'm curious; how do you notice this constant fear/pressure of others manifest itself?

[JapanAlex]

I like how you are interested in my thread eheheh

The Japanese friends I have all told me relatively similar points of view
also my girlfriend explains alot to me

but mainly I can just see it for myself - and perhaps you will ask the question, you know - why do you even notice, wouldn't that make it worse - but when everyone around you is acting overly paranoid it's kinda hard to not notice!

[Mikawa Ossan]

I'm sorry, I must have not been very clear. Could you tell me a concrete example of parents acting paranoid or similar fear/pressure?

The more concrete you are the better others will understand you.:cool:


I'm emailing my wife as I follow this thread, so it'S very pleasant for me tonight.:wave:

[JapanAlex]

concrete evidence?

gee shucks well ill just go out with a petition lol

[Mikawa Ossan]

NOt evidence. An example. This isn't a court of law, after all.

But if you want others to understand you, you have to explain yourself better, giving examples to illustrate your point. It's easy to say that "Japanese parents are paranoid", but unless you supply others with examples showing exactly what you mean, it is up for each person who hears that to decide for him or herself what you mean. That inevitably leads to misunderstandings, so really it is for your own interest to give said examples.

[JapanAlex]

but... i just want to rant :?:ramen:

[Mikawa Ossan]

Then please don't bemoan the fact that no one seems to understand you as you did here:

I guess noone here is willing to at least understand where I am coming from - over being a repsonsible adult

[JapanAlex]

God noone understands me!

[Mikawa Ossan]

And you have only yourself to blame.

Thread closed on such nonsense.