Women In Japan

[Jake Logan]

Heya, I'm new here to this website! Yes, I did use the search tool and I was reading up on Japanese marriage and work situations. I basically got out of it:

~The Japanese do not typically marry out of love. They only marry to have children and raise them up to keep the family a-going (I always thought that love was a very important aspect to Japan, based on various stories, dramas, anime--is it just simply a show?).

~Women are often looked down upon at work by men.

~If a divorce situation does happen to occur, the children are left to the mother almost 100% of the time because the men don't care--the children should be raised by the women. It's her job.


The reason I come and ask about these situations is because I recently had a discussion with some people over women and their lives in Japan. I also realize, a supposed sad truth, that these Japanese women don't treat their way of life as an abnormality.

Is all of this really true? Are lives so difficult for Japanese women? Unaware, that they don't have as much freedom as men do? I also read that money is a higher priority rather than marriage and love and women tend to prostitute themselves for money, as the men tend to go to ***** houses for pleasure. Again, is all of this really true? Do women live such different lives without knowing so? Is the culture so, "Shut up and do as you're told?"

I vaguely remember watching a drama on TV about Japan, and they gave some reference to a group of women who are unionizing together for some sort of women's freedom. Is there anything like that, also? Thanks, all.

[ASHIKAGA]

Do the dramas, animes, mangas, stories reflect how the things really are? No.
You didn't really think that, now, did you?

As for the "conclusions" you have reached after doing your "research", I wonder exactly what you have read/seen/heard from what sources.

[Jake Logan]

Do the dramas, animes, mangas, stories reflect how the things really are? No.
You didn't really think that, now, did you?
As for the "conclusions" you have reached after doing your "research", I wonder exactly what you have read/seen/heard from what sources.
You didn't really think that, now, did you?
Not particularly, but I was hoping it would be less severe than people try and depict it. People, from my experience, have a tendency of exaggerating situations of all subjects.
As for the "conclusions" you have reached after doing your "research", I wonder exactly what you have read/seen/heard from what sources.

It was a post by Maciamo, "Decommissioned ex-admin". I'd love to link it, but it gave me a message: You do not have enough posts yet to add URLs to third-party websites. Which, it's not, 'cause I was trying to link something from this website. The name of the thread is Radical difference between East and West regarding relationships and marriage.

By the way, It's tricky to tell when one is being rude over the internet, so I'll just say this. I'm getting that vibe from you. If this is indeed the case, then I'm not going to put up with you. You can be nice to me, or go on my ignore list. Or, just not say anything at all, and keep the negativity to yourself, for whatever reasons you have.

If this isn't the case, then sorry for the misunderstanding. : )

[Mars Man]

First of all, let me assure you, that there is no great worry which one would not find about as much of in many other parts of the world, and even more of in some.

Then, allow me the opportunity to suggest that if you have determined through empirical knowledge that over the internet it is hard to tell if another is being rude, and at the moment do not have enough evidence to assert that ASHIKAGA san is being rude with you, it would show foresight and wisdom to not respond as though he were guilty until proven innocent.

I go over the points one by one, as best I can. (maybe over a number of posts)①

There is still the 'arranged marriage' method here in Japan, and it is used by some. This method is probably not the more common arrangement at present, although it may not be that terribly far behind the 'love marriage' arrangement. However, neither arrangement in and of itself really says that much towards the concept (or institution) of 'marriage.'

The number of women who chose not to marry has increasesd over the past 10 years. Households still have children, although it had dropped, and I do not have data over how much it may (or may not have) picked up in these last two years

Therefore, (and not only because of that) to say that Japanese on average marry only to have children is inaccurate.

Please do not put faith in dramas, anime, and the likes. . . I am surprized at some of your comments reflecting a more practical and level-headed way of scrutinizing such, and yet your opposite reaction.

New members can not post any links, internal or external, and the message you have recieved is simply a general one--in that most attempts to link [b]are external.






① And please keep in mind that I have no idea how old you are, nor your real experiences in life, and am answering from a neutral position--beyond what I can determine or deduce from what you write.

[Jake Logan]

First of all, let me assure you, that there is no great worry which one would not find about as much of in many other parts of the world, and even more of in some.
Then, allow me the opportunity to suggest that if you have determined through empirical knowledge that over the internet it is hard to tell if another is being rude, and at the moment do not have enough evidence to assert that ASHIKAGA san is being rude with you, it would show foresight and wisdom to not respond as though he were guilty until proven innocent.
I go over the points one by one, as best I can. (maybe over a number of posts)‡@
There is still the 'arranged marriage' method here in Japan, and it is used by some. This method is probably not the more common arrangement at present, although it may not be that terribly far behind the 'love marriage' arrangement. However, neither arrangement in and of itself really says that much towards the concept (or institution) of 'marriage.'
The number of women who chose not to marry has increasesd over the past 10 years. Households still have children, although it had dropped, and I do not have data over how much it may (or may not have) picked up in these last two years
Therefore, (and not only because of that) to say that Japanese on average marry only to have children is inaccurate.
Please do not put faith in dramas, anime, and the likes. . . I am surprized at some of your comments reflecting a more practical and level-headed way of scrutinizing such, and yet your opposite reaction.
New members can not post any links, internal or external, and the message you have recieved is simply a general one--in that most attempts to link [b]are external.
‡@ And please keep in mind that I have no idea how old you are, nor your real experiences in life, and am answering from a neutral position--beyond what I can determine or deduce from what you write.

I didn't mean to say that I believed Anime and dramas to reflect actual life. I meant to ask if they were possibly lying, or bending the truth about the way things go in Japan.

For example, an American drama might depict a couple meeting for the first time, sleeping with each other within a few hours and having a child months later. Although it's a matter of opinion, I don't believe this is how America actually works. So, if I were a foreigner to Japan, and that's all I saw on TV dramas (actually, that's pretty much the truth), I might think of America for having no real love in their culture, thinking I can just go find a woman within one night and sleep with her.

The point I'm trying to make is, I just wanted to know the reality behind it all. If it's accurate in this sense: Teenage girls/Women get just as much, or almost as much freedom as men. Because frankly, that's all I've really gotten out of the dramas and Anime I've watched. So, when I hear the conflict: Women are looked down upon in the workplace and treated unfairly in Japan, I naturally have questions.

Furthermore, I apologize for snapping at Ashikaga. I live in a very stressful and negative environment (more to the point: with negative people).

[Glenski]

Fictional depictions of life like animation or TV dramas are just that... fiction. Sure, they are based in some truth. That's the anchor that makes them believable, but beyond that, it's all in the head of the writers.
Is "Leave It to Beaver" realistic? no. Does it reflect family values of the time? Yes, to a point, but certainly not to all.

The Japanese do not typically marry out of love. They only marry to have children and raise them up to keep the family a-going Where did you get this info? The families in Japan are NOT a-going, if you look at the birthrates.

Women are often looked down upon at work by men. Not in the soaplands or hostess bars. They are in many workplaces. But, don't you think there is a glass ceiling for female workers in the USA, too? To less of a degree, of course.

If a divorce situation does happen to occur, the children are left to the mother almost 100% of the time because the men don't care--the children should be raised by the women. It's her job.Again, where did you get this info? Yes, most of the time the kids go to the moms, but the reason you cited is what puzzles me. Where does it say that?

Are lives so difficult for Japanese women?It can be, yes. But many shrug it off as what is necessary for life.

Unaware, that they don't have as much freedom as men do? Who says they are unaware? They most certainly are not.

I also read that money is a higher priority rather than marriage and loveYou must have been reading about arranged marriages (omiai), which are certainly fewer now than ever.

and women tend to prostitute themselves for money, as the men tend to go to ***** houses for pleasure.Tongue in cheek, I will ask, so, do you think the men go to such places to meet other MEN for "pleasure"? Seriously, of course the sex industry is big in Japan, but the way you wrote, it seems as if every woman does it. Not true. Yes, there is a different viewpoint of such business here, and there is a social problem with "compensated dating" (enjokosai) among schoolgirls.


Do women live such different lives without knowing so?I already answered that. No, they are fully aware.

Is the culture so, "Shut up and do as you're told?"Yes, but not just for women.

I vaguely remember watching a drama on TV about Japan, and they gave some reference to a group of women who are unionizing together for some sort of women's freedom. Is there anything like that, also? Thanks, all.This is the age of the Internet. I suggest doing some research. Women are becoming more vocal about their rights, but it is a slow process. Issues vary, too.

[Revenant]

I thought money was a factor in a lot of relationships in the world, not just Japan, so yeah, some women do go for the guy with money, and then some go for the guy that might make for a dependable mate (marriages of love).

Arranged marriages aren't like what they are in other countries like India, generally both partners must agree to the marriage, and the demand for arranged marriages are still there cause people are often too busy to get to places where they'd likely meet a potential mate. I've been told that the couple must decide after the third arranged meet whether or not they'll get married, but they do still have time after they agree to it to call off the wedding if they discover they aren't compatible.

I've read a theory that says that due to the status placed on having name brand goods, that some women go into the prostitution business. That would also likely go for the 'compensated dating' that Glenski referred to.