How to woo (respectfully) a Japanese woman?

[samz]

How to woo (respectfully) a Japanese woman?
Context: A European man (30-40 years) in Japan.

How to woo (respectfully) a Japanese woman?
What kind of mistakes should be avoided?
What kind of compliment are they sensible to?
What kind of humour makes them laugh?
What are the values of a man (European) that affects them in particular?

Married Japanese, do they wear an alliance (finger ring)? Otherwise, what index helps to distinguish them?
Thanks and regards.

[Derfel]

I remember reading something about über expensive wedding rings on jref, so I would assume they wear them. Or maybe the rings are so valuable they don't risk it. Who knows.

To be absolutely honest, I no idea or experience in that field, but im assuming it will depend on the target's social class, as anywhere else.

[JimmySeal]

No, wedding and engagement rings are not very commonly worn here, though I believe most people own them. The only high-success-rate way of telling that someone is married is to ask them (or someone who knows). Most women aim to get married between age 25 and 30 here, though that's not set in stone.

[Chidoriashi]

What exactly are you looking for? Are you talking about being causal lovers, or a serious relationship? or how to get one to go home with you for a night?

[maushan3]

My general advice is to just go after her the same as you would to any other women, especially if she's not even in Japan. But... there are some things to notice regarding this:

From personal experience I could tell you something NOT to do:
Don't say any sarcastic comments or jokes. Just drop them, they generally don't understand them and when they don't know what you're talking about they tend to chuckle lightly and the mood turns a bit unpleasant.

Another thing, if this girl seems like a serious one from a relationship perspective, try to act like a guy who isn't interested in any other women at the moment. Japanese girls tend to get possessive and jealous so don't give them reasons to. They are not like Western women who don't really care if you've got another date in the next hour if you are only dating casually.

Mauricio

[-Rudel-]

Yes very possessive! I can't have a friend that is a girl message me without my wife complaining. Though she is still learning the western's ways of friendship.

Other than that, be yourself. If you do end up telling a joke, ask her if she understand. If not, then tell her. At least that way, she knows you care about her wanting to understand English, or anything else.

[samz]

For Chidoriashi:
Context: A European man (30-40 years) in Japan looking for a Japanese woman for a long term and serious relationship.
samz

[bruno]

For Chidoriashi:
Context: A European man (30-40 years) in Japan looking for a Japanese woman for a long term and serious relationship.
samz

This is not a date site !
Make your own experiences !:p

[Kappa]

Samz, have you been in Japan long, and are you in a position where you are around women? If so, you may be surprised at how unmistakably some of them eventually approach you.

As to the rings, they do seem kind of optional on younger married women. Older ones tend to wear them more often because of a lingering stigma about being an "old maid."

Fashion can be a guide, if you develop an eye for it. The "young mrs" look isn't quite as wild and trendy as what a lot of single girls wear. Japanese fashion changes rapidly, but looking at TV commercials might give you clues.

In the end though, bruno has a point. Experience is the best teacher!

[RolandtheHeadless]

Rudel has it right. Treat them like any other women -- like a lady.

When you're out her, don't be afraid to use humor. Unless you know Japanese, you'll probably have to speak to her in English; speak more slowly than you would normally. If you're not a native English-speaker yourself, be prepared for more difficulties in communication. People from different countries speak a third language with different accents. Japanese who study English are used to hearing standard British, Australian, and American accents.

Japanese women tend to be reserved, even guarded, until they know you pretty well. You may not be able to tell if she likes you or is bored out of her mind. Don't assume the worst.

Men are expected to initiate everything from phone calls to sex (for J-women of my generation at least). But Japanese generally find it very rude to say "no" directly; instead they'll say something like "that would be very difficult." If she tells you she's busy twice in a row, she's probably not interested in you.

[Pachipro]

If you want to "woo" a Japanese woman and be successful, just be yourself! There is no set of standards. Just don't try to be someone you are not. In the long run you'll find someone who likes you for being you. Not very difficult.

[Derfel]

Ultimate formula: "Shall we dance before?"