Gaijin Escapades!

[Sgt. Wang]

If anyone has any embarrassing, funny, or dumb moments that happened to them while in Japan, submit them here!! I find these experiences quite entertaining.

[Sgt. Wang]

Ok, here are my first ones. One time when I was in a restauraunt, and I was asking for the bill. But instead of "okanjou kudasai", which is asking for the bill, I said,"kanojo kudasai". I was bewildered when all the Japanese people were looking at me, some laughing hysterically, and some glaring at me. So I looked at my Japanese friend Kei and asked him what the problem was, and he explained that I didn't say that I wanted the bill, but that I wanted the waitress!!:blush: I was totally embarrassed, and told her I was sorry. She thought it was funny, and thought it was a hilarious thing for a bumbling gaijin to do!:D

[Ewok85]

There was that time i said "oppai" instead of "ippai".....

[neko_girl22]

when I first went to Japan in 2000 I was sightseeing and uh used a toilet meant for disabled people (the only western one....) and I couldn't find the right button to push so I pushed them all, including a red one. As I was leaving I noticed a man in uniform rushing into the loo after me.... hehe I had pushed the emergency button. :p

[jovial_jon]

Ewok85 - what do 'oppai' and 'ippai' mean?

[Ewok85]

oppai - breast ippai - alot. The girl i was talking too bit her lip and tried so hard not to laugh.

[neptunemoon]

cool *writes that down* this is cool I'm learning some new words

[Carolgirl00]

Lol! Great posts here, guys! *dies laughing*

[Uncle Frank]

When I first got to Japan and went in town, everyone was so friendly saying HI . Every time I heard a HI, I smiled and waved and said HI back.
Learned hai ment yes later !

Frank

[TyPe-ZeRo]

Well, a few years back, I had a stop over in Japan for 3 hours, this was when Pokemon was the thing, I saw pokemon cookies and was amazed I even pointed at it, and to my amazement I saw two kids (maybe like 5-6 years old) point at me and laugh, boy i felt stupid hahaha anyway after that my dad bought like a big blue Cup o Noodles thing, spicy seafood flavor for me and him, good stuff, they dont have it here tho :/

[Iron Chef]

I got pulled over for speeding once *sigh* although I think it must have been my lucky day because the two officers seeing I was a foreigner and that I had all my credentials intact, decided they didn't want to deal with all the headache and hassle of filling out the appropriate paperwork so they just let me go. Sometimes pretending you don't speak or understand Japanese very well can do wonders for you in a pinch... Considering how fast I was going at the time... lucky day indeed. 8-p
:)

[nata_no]

I was 20 yrs old then and my friends and i were in a public bus with quite a no. of cute young japanese guys. While traveling, we were discussing which guy is cuter in chinese(well, they wont understand), and after many ppl alight, there left 1 cute guy. So my friend was saying "Hey, the guy sitting behind you also quite cute leh! (in chinese)".

Guess what, the guy actually alight with us and asked where we were from! Cos he's from China and studied in Japan. We were like shocked! A pity we were so embarassed that we left quickly. (shld have at least asked the name of the cute guy)

:p

[Sgt. Wang]

Lol. I also had this one time I thought a little girl was cute, and I said, "Kowai" instead of "Kawaii". The little girl looked really angry, and I thought she was going to hit me!!

[doudesuka]

My japanese friend took me to a sushi shop. I was watching how they ate sushi. I took a tako sushi(otopus) and put the whole thing in my mouth. After chewing for 5mins. I thought it was o.k. to swallow.
It got stuck in my throat. I was starting to choke. I slid off my stool and went for the bathroom. Luckily, it wasn't lodged and I spit the thing up.
When I came out, I met many smiling faces. I wanted to find the nearest rock.:p

[senseiman]

A friend of mine wanted to say "Ii kutsu da yo" (nice shoes) but instead said "Ii ketsu da yo." (nice ass).

[doudesuka]

ha ha, definitely an under a rock moment.

[neptunemoon]

*writes down in notebook*

[TyPe-ZeRo]

*copys neptune*

*writes on hand*

[m477]

One of my friends while riding the train wanted to offer his seat to an older lady who was standing. He meant to say "suwatte kudasai" (please have a seat), but it came out "sawatte kudasai" (touch me).

[Eisuke]

Lol these are funny stories.
:D :D

[Sgt. Wang]

Ha!:giggle: poor old woman. At least she feels wanted!!!!

[neptunemoon]

*writes down again in notebook* Yup that lady must have been really happy. Why is it alot of words when you say them wrong always mean something perverted but i can use this one haha

[Sgt. Wang]

I kind of think of it as a more entertaining way to start a conversation, or when you're bored, you can just watch some bumbling gaijin try to understand the Japanese language.

[Sgt. Wang]

Great stories!!;) Keep them coming!!

[mdchachi]

I think I might have told this one before and it wasn't me (really) but a friend of mine told me that he once was introduced to a girl named Umiko. He misheard the name and later called her Unko!

[Buntaro]

I remember the horror I created when I was in an akachochin. I had to put my chopsticks down. As there was no good place to put them, I just stuck them, standing straight up, into my bowl of rice. I learned real quick that you just don't do that!

[Old School]

Ok, a few.

1. On the way home, I decide that I'm too lazy to walk all the way around this temple so I decide to climb over the fence for a shortcut. Just as I reach the top I hear a whistle and I look down at this cop yelling at me. So I climb down just as his partner arrives. They start berating me and I pull out a "Japanese for stupid foreigners" book (I can speak OK Japanese but I keep this with me just for such occasions. Very handy) and tell them in the worst possible accent that I don't speak Japanese. I even show them the American passport. Heavy sighs and they let me go while muttering stuff I can't repeat here.

2. On a crowded train (yeah, imagine that!) on the way back from a heavy metal gig my buddies and I start talking about idols. I have a friend visiting from San Francisco with us but we're speaking Japanese (he can't speak a word other than "doomo arigato mister Roboto"). The conversation turns to the Onyanko Club and he blurts out loudly "What?! The OMAKO CLUB? Where's that? Are we going there now?" Silence in the train then huge laughter. We get off at the next stop and take the next train.

3. So I'm catching the second to last train home but being dog tired, I inadvertedly get off at the wrong stop. I realize this after I exit the station. So I remember something I saw a few weeks earlier, I pinch my cheeks real hard (to get them good and red) and start acting stinking drunk and stagger back to the exit. I ask the attendant "Chotto, koko wa..?" He rolls his eyes and motions me back in. Station attendants see this a lot, especially on Fridays and Saturdays. So, if you get off at the wrong station, just act like you're drunk and they'll let you back in.

[nihonjintaylor]

hmm mine would be
when I was talking to my ex gf parents and it was raining I tried to impress them with my knowledge of japanese and so decided to name the ways you can say it's raining...
so I was like

za za

Potsu potsu

chairo chairo that's when I realized I just said brown brown...

to say the least we had a big laugh~

[Buntaro]

Has anyone ever done "kiseru" on the trains? Ever get caught?

[Sgt. Wang]

Hah!! Old School, I should try that drunken bit sometime. I've gotten off on the wrong stop twice!!!!:)

[Flashjeff]

Trying to use chopsticks for the very first time in a ramen joint wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y back in 1977. I was about as coordinated with the darn things as a grizzly bear on stilts, spilling noodles everywhere. Ever seen a grown man curse at a couple of sticks? Everyone looked at me as if I'd just been released from the local nuthouse! :D

[Zero-sen]

I once asked my fiance's dad if he'd like to go for a drink with me but i used the word "yopparai" instead of "ippai". everyone in the living room froze with horror and glared at me. I didn't find out until later that instead of asking him to go for a drink i had accused him of being a drunkard!!! :eek: :gulp:

[Sgt. Wang]

ooh.........he probably wasn't too friendly to you after that!!:D

[Keeni84]

He he he!

Have any of you ever confused "kasa" with "casa"??

I do it aaaalll the time...

:cool:

[Sgt. Wang]

I don't think I've ever used that word....what does it mean?

[m477]

kasa = umbrella

That would actually be kinda funny, telling people you had to go home to your umbrella. They would probably think you were homeless.

[Shinpachi]

I feel bad that I don't have any misused word stories, but when I was over at the south toyama high school for our farewell party, my friend went to the bathroom and came back wearing the bathroom slippers. Then another friend (this happened in a Japanese department store, but it's not so Japan specific) sat on the railing of an escalator and bonked his head on the ceiling next to a sign that said don't sit on the railing and had a picture of a bonking and it looked exactly the same.

[Sgt. Wang]

Ah, now that's ironic!

[Golgo_13]

This didn't happen to me but to someone I know.

He ate at a restaurant and he asked for "O-kanyou" (an enema) instead of "O-kanjou" (the check).

The waitress politely said the restaurant could not accomodate his request.

[Riven]

This happened first time my girlfriend came to France. To welcome her, my family opened a bottle of champain. After all glasses were full, everyone raised up his glass (I didn't say anything to observe what will happen) and said a loud "ChinChin" (which is the French for "Kampai", but the Japanese for "Penis"). My girlfriend suddenly got red-face and couldn't hold little laugh. My parents stared at me, and I couldn't hold my laugh too.
Ok, I admit, I expected that. Everyone can imagine that situation :D

[Golgo_13]

That's a good one!

[kirei_na_me]

Yes, that is a good one! :D

[Golgo_13]

This happened first time my girlfriend came to France. To welcome her, my family opened a bottle of champain. After all glasses were full, everyone raised up his glass (I didn't say anything to observe what will happen) and said a loud "ChinChin" (which is the French for "Kampai", but the Japanese for "Penis"). My girlfriend suddenly got red-face and couldn't hold little laugh. My parents stared at me, and I couldn't hold my laugh too.
Ok, I admit, I expected that. Everyone can imagine that situation :D


There's a popular Chinese Restaurant in LA called "Chin Chin". Now I can see why I've never seen any Japanese people in there. :D :D :D :D :D :D

[potatoe]

hehe
i hope this kinda happens to me when i go to Tokyo.
:wave: :hey: :lol:

[curveegrrl]

when I first went to Japan in 2000 I was sightseeing and uh used a toilet meant for disabled people (the only western one....) and I couldn't find the right button to push so I pushed them all, including a red one. As I was leaving I noticed a man in uniform rushing into the loo after me.... hehe I had pushed the emergency button. :p


I did this too! Only it was a public washroom in a park, and instead of a man in uniform, I set of a god-awful siren! I quickly exited the washroom and tried to casually flee. FLEE! :blush: sigh.

[Riven]

Ok, I will have to be really carefull when I go there ... *dont press the red button, don't press the red button, don't ... which button ?*

[playaa]

LOL Ok, well maybe I will start now.. Here in Louisiana we do not have the toilets that squirt you to clean you off.. I have never seen them before til Japan.. After sitting on the toilet in an expensive resturaunt I tried to flush it.. After hitting the wrong button and being squirted, I let out a big YIKES! because I have never had ANYTHING like that happen before.

I was in the middle of Shibuya when I let out a very loud MANKO my japanese friends all took the low roads and ran.

There is a few others I will try to remember...

[Shinpachi]

Hah, I never had the guts to try one of the water cannon toilets, but one of my friends accidentally did too, told me it felt like a prostate exam and he'd never be using it again.

[Buddha Smoker]

I got a good one.

I will always remember the first Japanese that I learned besides the very basic stuff. I went to a club/bar with a Japanese friend of mine and we were sitting at the bar watching the girls and other people dance etc. I saw this one girl who was really good-looking, etc. so I asked my friend what I should say to her to impress her. So, he told me something and I said it a couple times back to him, etc. Then I walked all cool over to her smiled and said HI then I did a small bow and said "Omanko o misette kudasai"

First, she looked at me puzzled, slapped me, then stormed away. I was shocked... and like "What the?" and I looked over at my friend and he was bursting with laughter and apparently had gathered a small crowd for the entertaining scene to come. I realized then that I must have said something really wrong.

So, I walked back over and he told that I just asked the girl "Please, show me your p*ssy!"...Needless to say, I never asked him for advice again. :relief:

[Golgo_13]

I got a good one.

I will always remember the first Japanese that I learned besides the very basic stuff. I went to a club/bar with a Japanese friend of mine and we were sitting at the bar watching the girls and other people dance etc. I saw this one girl who was really good-looking, etc. so I asked my friend what I should say to her to impress her. So, he told me something and I said it a couple times back to him, etc. Then I walked all cool over to her smiled and said HI then I did a small bow and said "Omonko o misette kudasai"

First, she looked at me puzzled, slapped me, then stormed away. I was shocked... and like "What the?" and I looked over at my friend and he was bursting with laughter and apparently had gathered a small crowd for the entertaining scene to come. I realized then that I must have said something really wrong.

So, I walked back over and he told that I just asked the girl "Please, show me your p*ssy!"...Needless to say, I never asked him for advice again. :relief:

I'm surprised she slapped you for saying a non-existent word.

If you had said "omeko", then I could see someone getting upset.

Years ago I worked at a Japanese restaurant in NYC. Because of shortage of Japanese women to hire as waitresses, the place had a few older Korean women who could speak Japanese.

When the waitresses put in an order into the kitchen they would write the order in Katakana. One of the Korean women once tried to put in an order for "nameko" but instead wrote "omeko" on her slip.

A minute later, there was a shout from the kitchen "Kore wa koko ni naizo! Otoko no hounara iki no ii no ga arukedo na!" :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Duo]

Wat does that mean ?

[Golgo_13]

"Kore wa koko ni naizo! Otoko no hounara iki no ii no ga arukedo na!" :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

"We don't have that over here! But we have male ones very fresh!"

[Duo]

"We don't have that over here! But we have male ones very fresh!"

LOL :D :D

I love when these cultural mix-ups happen

[Riven]

Haha, Really nice one ^_^ :D

[Buddha Smoker]

I'm surprised she slapped you for saying a non-existent word.

If you had said "omeko", then I could see someone getting upset.



You know what I meant, I just pushed the wrong key. :sorry:

[Golgo_13]

Hai! Wakarimashita!

[Chipi]

:D oh my my, I was laughing so much when I read all the other stories..thanks for the laughs ;)

I have been doing some stupid things allready myself, but theyre not so hilarious and maybe not really related to actual Japanese things though..But embarrassing?yes.

A couple of nights ago I was biking back to my dormitory from the center of the city, and I had my new thai-pants on. Im so much in love with my pants, theyre the kind that you just wrap them around your body, and they have quite wide legs in them.
I was just approaching a metro station, a lot of people infront of it of course, when I started to realize that my other pant leg was getting twisted around the bike pedal..I tried to pull it off, but it just got tighter, and I couldnt move my leg-> the speed got slower all the time and as a result I fell to the ground right infront of the station. All my stuff went here and there, and I found myself lying under my bike, my leg still attached tightly to the bike.
5 people came instantly (!) to help me, with a humorous smile on their face ;)
And of course there were a bunch of other people around us watching. I wish I couldve just been invisible.
I was sitting on the ground and trying to unattach my trousers from the bike, it took several minutes though and finally i just had to rip them of...
After I collected my stuff (with the help of those 5 people), took my bike (what also suffered a little damage) and silently _walked_ away..

[Buddha Smoker]

:D oh my my, I was laughing so much when I read all the other stories..thanks for the laughs ;)

I have been doing some stupid things allready myself, but theyre not so hilarious and maybe not really related to actual Japanese things though..But embarrassing?yes.

A couple of nights ago I was biking back to my dormitory from the center of the city, and I had my new thai-pants on. Im so much in love with my pants, theyre the kind that you just wrap them around your body, and they have quite wide legs in them.
I was just approaching a metro station, a lot of people infront of it of course, when I started to realize that my other pant leg was getting twisted around the bike pedal..I tried to pull it off, but it just got tighter, and I couldnt move my leg-> the speed got slower all the time and as a result I fell to the ground right infront of the station. All my stuff went here and there, and I found myself lying under my bike, my leg still attached tightly to the bike.
5 people came instantly (!) to help me, with a humorous smile on their face ;)
And of course there were a bunch of other people around us watching. I wish I couldve just been invisible.
I was sitting on the ground and trying to unattach my trousers from the bike, it took several minutes though and finally i just had to rip them of...
After I collected my stuff (with the help of those 5 people), took my bike (what also suffered a little damage) and silently _walked_ away..

Those moments can be so embarrasing sometimes....I couldn't help but laugh but it's because it is so true sometimes... :p :D

[Sgt. Wang]

Wow. That must have been crazy. You must be glad that you didn't lose your pants, and silently walked away naked.....

[Chipi]

Wow. That must have been crazy. You must be glad that you didn't lose your pants, and silently walked away naked.....

heh yeah! It was close too to show my lovely knickers to everyone, but thankfully I remembered to check it and correct the situation... :relief:


I just hope Im not the "thats the crazy gaijin girl who rolled on the ground" tourist attraction on the station now, since I have to pass it every day... :blush:

[Ewok85]

You up on the bike again now or walking? :D

[m477]

I just hope Im not the "thats the crazy gaijin girl who rolled on the ground" tourist attraction on the station now, since I have to pass it every day... :blush:
Yeah, I've learned that you have to be careful because people WILL remember you and recognize you!

One time I was meeting my girlfriend at the station. I didn't see any other people around, so I decided to have some fun and I snuck up from behind and tickled her. She yelled out in suprise and smacked me, and then we laughed about it and then went to eat. The next day, we went to a cafe and all the employees were giving us this really weird look. The waitress comes over and starts laughing, telling us that they had all decided to go out for a drink after the cafe closed the previous day, and they had witnessed the tickling episode at the station! Oops! :eek:

[Golgo_13]

Chipi-chan,

That was priceless!

[july]

ah good stuff! i got a couple...

1. i remember this one time, i was in tokyo and walked up to a door. all the doors there are automatic. there was some dude on the other side. the door opened, and i said "doozo", so he'd go in front of me. But then he said, in english, actually, i'm from america too, but thanks.

2. My hotel room was on like the 28th floor, and there was an earthquake(later found out it was a 4.5). I started flippin' out. the quake stopped, and walk out of my room, obviously freaked out. One of the cleaning people, who spoke good english, asked what was wrong.

well that's obvious.

after i told him, he laughed, and said "there was one just now, wasn't there?" no one else seemed to care either.

3. sometimes the best stories happen when you come back. I got so used to all the door opening up automatically, that i actually walked into a couple when i got back to the states.

[Golgo_13]

You're good! LOL!

[Buddha Smoker]

That't good stuff... :D

[Lina Inverse]

Good stuff indeed :cool:
Now I know what I have to avoid at all costs when I go to Japan :D

[Sgt. Wang]

You were quite smooth I'd say.

I had a friend that once couldn't figure out how to open his oshiire. His host came in and asked what the trouble was and he actually thought that the door was locked. But he didn't notice the slit on the opposite side that he could've easily fit his hand in and open the oshiire. There was a lot of eeto's and anou's, but afterward he explained that 'not all foreigners are that stupid.'

[Chipi]

You up on the bike again now or walking? :D
Bravely on the bike ;) ...but no thai pants when biking though..

ah good stuff! i got a couple...

3. sometimes the best stories happen when you come back. I got so used to all the door opening up automatically, that i actually walked into a couple when i got back to the states.

Haha :P Well,yeah..I think sometimes the Japanese make the mirrors _too_ shiny in their shops. Ive accidentally walked against a couple of them, didnt notice them..and then get scared of my own image, before i realized that it was a mirror, not a corridor :)

...uhm.Am i more clumsy here or whatt..?? :o

[Zero-sen]

I remember once i was fooling around with my fiance in the kitchen when we were prparing lunch ( we being the whole family ), now my fiance has been studying aikido for some years now so i was trying to squeeze her butt but she was quite adamant i wasn't to be doing this in front of dear ol' mom. So on my third attempt my hand was deftly re-directed..........square in the middle of her mom's ass :D Embarassment central for me but cheap thrills for mom!!! :bravo: Thank god her mum has a semse of humour!!

[july]

i just remembered one more...

i went to McDonalds for breakfast(how wonderfully traditional of me), and needed to use the bathroom before i left. I walk into the bathroom, which was a tiny room with nothing but a sink in it.

"hmmm..." i thought, "no toilet...how odd"

I started to think that the door to the bathroom in actually a portal to an RPG world, where i need to find the right button/switch combination to ultimately reveal the toilet...turns out i was half right.

all of the sudden, the whole wall (opposite to the door) opens up, and there's some dude standing there, with a toilet behind him

"GOMEN NASAI!!!!" i shouted, as i jumped backwards through the door, almost tripping.

i went back to my seat to wait for the guy to leave, but i noticed that every else around me knew exactly what happened.

oh yeah...here's another

I ran around with a shirt that said "watashi wa bakana americajin desu". People would see my shirt and just start laughing. but there was this lady on a train with her daughter, and the mother starting laughing, and tried to get the daughter(who was sitting next to me) to look at my shirt. She wouldn't do it.

Ultimately, i asked them both if they liked my shirt, and they got kind of embaressed, because they didn't think i spoke any japanese.

[Golgo_13]

Were you still able to eat after all that? :D :D :D :D :D

[Lina Inverse]

Were you still able to eat after all that? :D :D :D :D :D
This is McDonalds... I think that July had just eaten and now had an urge to visit the toilet to throw up :D :D :D

[july]

ha! i was feeling a little sick. I had a hamburger with bacon, egg, and some kind of salad dressing (i think it was thousand island). that's what they served me for BREAKFAST! it was terrible :(

oh, and when i asked for orange juice, they gave me orange crush. :okashii:

[Golgo_13]

Should've gone to a Denny's instead.

That's where I had breakfast every morning in Osaka.

[SkaKid0911]

July, that shirt story was hilarious! That sounds like so much fun! Where did you find a shirt that said that?

[jieshi]

i was reading one about a family that were doing a tour of hot springs around Japan. They had to trek for two hours into the middle of no where and it was raining, they managed to get lost a couple of times and when they finally got to this particular hot spring a large japanese woman stood in their way and said simply "iee" (no). The familys youngest son started to cry so the woman gave in and let them in. As the family walked out to the tub (naked) about 50+ heavily tattoed men and women started to get very upset and got out of the hot spring and left. Many Japanese were suprised that this family was left alive as little did they know they had crashed a private Yakuza mafia party. (scary stuff)

[july]

July, that shirt story was hilarious! That sounds like so much fun! Where did you find a shirt that said that?

I got it from a store called zebraclub, it's made by Paul Frank. It's a little old, so you might have to hit ebay for it.

nothing strikes up a conversation faster then calling yourself an idiot. :D

[SkaKid0911]

lol, thanks. And that is a great conversation starter. I'll make sure to try it next time I'm at an event and looking for someone to talk to!:wave: lol

[Buddha Smoker]

I ran around with a shirt that said "watashi wa bakana americajin desu". People would see my shirt and just start laughing. but there was this lady on a train with her daughter, and the mother starting laughing, and tried to get the daughter(who was sitting next to me) to look at my shirt. She wouldn't do it.

Ultimately, i asked them both if they liked my shirt, and they got kind of embaressed, because they didn't think i spoke any japanese.

Gotta love them Baka Gaijin shirts... always good for a laugh. :D

[Lina Inverse]

Gotta love them Baka Gaijin shirts... always good for a laugh. :D
I like this t-shirt better :D
http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/think-testicles.jpg

Number 5 lives! :D
http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/genital.jpg

[Sgt. Wang]

Yeah, I've noticed that a lot of Japanese people seem to like ANY shirt with English on it even if they don't know what it means. Like I saw this guy walking around in Kyoto with a shirt proclaiming "I have the Monkey's balls god." I was laughing so hard, but my Japanese friends didn't know what was up until I showed them. They said that most Japanese don't know what they're wearing.

[Golgo_13]

A friend who had traveled to Japan told me he saw a person wearing a "University of Malyland" T-Shirt. I bet it was a knock-off.