You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long When ...

[Golgo_13]

You're watching NHK and an Enka program comes on, and you don't bother changing the channel.
You bow slightly repeatedly while speaking . . . even when you're on the phone.
You go back to your home country for a visit, and when you go shopping you wonder how much everything would cost in Yen.
After being back in the States,
you wish people wore white cotton masks during flu season like they do in Japan
you take off your shoes at home
you speak English there's a slight Japanese accent

[Ewok85]

Japanese people ask you for advice on what trains to take

[budd]

very true
when i look behind me before changing directions while walking

[Earle]

When you remember the Japanese word, but you can't remember the English. I went into a fish market in Palo Alto and ordered 'hotate' -- I couldn't think of 'scallops'.

[Uncle Frank]

Drive on the wrong side of the road!
Speak Japanese to anyone who looks oriental.

Frank
:blush:

[budd]

wishful thinking for me :o
hey, i spent a lot of money on lessons :)
i've been studying mandarin the past semester though...

[Golgo_13]

You hear the initials "J.R." and you immediately think of trains.

You go back to your country, and . . .
When you get an apartment you try to figure out how many tatami mats would fit in each room.

You can sit through a Japanese porn flick without laughing and thinking . . . they sound like two dogs mating.

You give someone a gift and emphasize that "It's not much but . . ."

When Sumo wrestlers don't seem too strange even with their loincloth (with butt cheeks visible), top-knotted hair, and 350+ pound hot bodies.
:D

You can eat o-mochi without gagging on it or trying to blow bubbles with it, and think it tastes good.
Has anyone had it over New Years?
I have o-mochi year round.

[Punk の軍のロッカー]

When you say HM, UH, and So so so so, Hai Hai Hai... all the time instead of a simple Yes, No, Yeah, etc. :)

[kinjo]

When you start singing Japanese songs to yourself in the bathroom...

[Onigiri Chan]

I do that sometimes:blush:

[GookanGohan]

Ya sometimes I say "unn" instead of yes, also when I got home to the states, when I would bump into people I'd say "sumimasen" or "gomen" ^_^()

[Ayumi-chan]

I end up getting looked at oddly by people in my school seeing as my Japanese friend and I will suddenly start talking in Japanese in the middle of a lesson or conversation. Of course, it is an odd sight to see two girls jumping around on a winter day during a fire drill yelling "SAMUI!" over and over... :D :blush:

I also say "unn" instead of "yes". I end up saying "hai" or "iie" a lot too...and "arigato gozaimasu" and "sumimasen" and "gomen" and other things.

[Spike308]

...you start thinking every girl at school is wearing a flippable skirt.

well, maybe just me.

[Ewok85]

You dont get fazed out by overlycrowded trains or buses.

I do some of these things.. the singing in the shower, the speaking japanese etc. My fav words are "darui" "mendoksai" and a stern "omae" when people annoy me, accompanied with a look and maybe some other colorful words.

Nothing is funnier than watching some conversations i have with japanese people, if they know english ill normally speak english and they speak japanese; "So how are you today Yuri?" "元気よ、利恩は？" "Not bad"....

[Buntaro]

This is a BIG one....

Putting coins in American vending machines, and you have to do it real slow, or the machines cannot handle the money.

[Uncle Frank]

I always wondered how much it costs for a seat in the first row nex to the ring. It always seems like 100 year old mama&papa-sans are sitting there and a 400 pounder gets tossed on top of them !! Ever any deaths or serious injuries to the old folks ???

Frank

:blush:

[Golgo_13]

You actually drink tea out of your o-chawan (literally, a tea bowl) after a meal.

You never wear shoes inside the house anymore.
Which I think is a very good custom. Keeps all the dirt from spreading around the house.
If you went to a Japanese bowling alley and rented shoes, do they let you wear them inside?

When phrases like " . . . o getto shita!" or mispronunciation of the word "major" as "measure" don't really bother you anymore.

[evasuka]

when you want to go back home to see what living there is like

[Hachiko]

You para-para dance everywhere you go...in the shower, bathroom, kitchen, office, school, church, hospital, shrine, mosque, synagogue, the mountains, the valleys, the beach...anywhere! :p

[tsukinoko]

In my family we wear slippers or "house-shoes" inside the house ever since.
Anyway....
....when you hold your hand before your mouth while laughing or giggling,
....when you clap your hands furiously in front of you, saying sssuuugooiii, kawaiii and the like, if you're happy, surprised, or so (okay, maybe that's more for girls..)

I'd been only for four months in Japan last year and things like saying 'un', 'soso' ect. are fading away, but I still say 'ita' for 'ouch', and I'm singing Japanese (and other) songs not only in the shower - but that's because of my music-hobby, so it doesn't count.

[mdchachi]

> ....when you hold your hand before your mouth while laughing or giggling,

And when you point to your nose to refer to yourself.


Also...

When you don't think twice about using Y100 coins as if they were quarters to play video games (and drop Y3000 to play House of the Dead to the end).

When you are no longer grossed out by eating various tentacles and other slimy stuff. (And, especially, when you actually begin liking the stuff).

When you find yourself on a river bank that has been covered in concrete and you are thinking that you are there enjoying nature.

When you leave the office at 7pm or 8pm and feel apologetic for leaving early.

When you are on a train where you can literally reach out and touch eight people and are thinking that the train isn't even close to being full yet.

When you are you in the middle of Tokyo and feel like you don't want to leave your apartment because there's nothing to do.

[mad pierrot]

When you say "Yosh-shyo" like an obaasan everytime you stand up.

I read that in a comic and realized I do it all the time........ :bluush:

[Maciamo]

- When you are tongue-tied to find your words in your mother tongue.
- When you consider any city apart from Tokyo as "countryside".
- When tempura is really a dish for "gaijin" (and you don't consider yourself as such anymore)
- When you finally start enjoying some Japanese TV programs.
- When you plan you next holiday back home as a savanah expedition.
- When you want to travel, but have no time because of your work and are reluctant because foreign countries are so dangerous.
- When you sell your futon for a bed, because it's cool (even though you've slept all of your pre-Japan existence in one, but you can't remember)
- When you know exatcly the percentage of opening of cherry blossoms near your house, and watch attentively their development day after day, then talk about it with anyone you meet.
- When you think it is reasonable to pay 3000yen for a taxi rather than walk 30min to go back home after the last train.
- When you wonder what omiyage you'l bring back to your colleagues and friends before leaving for you holiday/vacation.

[Satori]

You know you've been in Japan too long when...

...you select shoes based on how easily you can get them on and off.
...you answer "hai!" even when speaking English to non-Japanese friends.
...you can name all the members of SMAP.
...you think any lunch costing less than US$10 is cheap.
..."Ohio" no longer means the state.
...you recognize TV celebrities' voices without looking up -- even if you don't speak Japanese.
...you don't freak out when the salad arrives with octopus legs all over the top of it.
...you no longer hesitate to drive halfway into the right-hand lane to avoid the cars parked in the left-hand lane.
...every weekday morning you arrive at the train platform the same time as the train.
...your noodle slurping can rattle the windows next door.
...you think of anything less than 1000 yen as "small change."
...you don't think twice about sitting on the floor barefoot in an expensive restaurant.
...you no longer insist on "holding it" until you find a western-style toilet.
...you can back into a Japanese parking space -- without your passenger getting out and guiding you in.
...you look forward to winter in your Japanese house so you can store beer and frozen foods in your bedroom and bathroom.
...you can fall asleep on the train and wake up at your stop.
...any of your children under the age of 16 have a cellular phone.
...you no longer marvel at the strange English on soda cans and billboards.
...you can name more than three sumo wrestlers.
...you stop turning on your windshield wipers before you make a turn.
...you know your height, weight or shoe size in metrics.
...you know your birthdate by the Japanese imperial calendar. (Showa 39, baby!)
...you no longer look puzzled when new acquaintances ask your blood type.
...when you open a kids' comic book, you're surprised if there's no nudity.
...you would not only settle for Taco Bell, you would actually kill for it.
...you only lock your doors if there are lots of "gaijin" around.
...people ask, "Do you want to go by car?" and you respond, "No, I'm in a hurry."
...you can't remember saying 6 bucks was too much to see a movie.
...when someone says "bed" you think of an inch-thick mattress and a pillow stuffed with beads.
...your kids care less about Christmas presents than they do about New Years money.
...your daily knowledge of the exchange rate would make a commodities broker proud.
...you think it's OK to wear white socks with a black suit.
...you like to eat "Christmas cake."
...you can tell time in five time zones simultaneously.
...you can name the lineage of at least three emperors.
...you can recognize your stop when the train announcer says it.
...you can recognize anything besides your stop when the train announcer says it.
...you don't mind peeing in a public restroom with the cleaning lady standing next to you.
...you don't mind peeing in a public restroom with women other than the cleaning lady standing next to you.
...you don't even need a restroom to pee in public.
...you crawl back into your house to get your coat, rather than take your shoes back off or walk on the floor with shoes on.
...you bow to inanimate objects.
...you walk around humming the song the crosswalk signals play.
...you make up your own lyrics to go with the crosswalk song.
...you know the real lyrics to the crosswalk song.
...you stop trying to get into the driver's side of your friends' cars.
...school uniforms turn you on more than lingerie.
...when someone says "breakfast" you think of fish, soup and pickles.
...you walk into a room with chairs and choose to sit on the floor.
...you think they mean your neighborhood whenever you hear U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name."
...you start believing you can blend into the crowd.
...even at 60 km/h you can tell whether your car is going to fit between the lamppost on the right and the car parked on the left.
...you can tell good sake from bad.
...you believe no party is complete without a trip to the karaoke box.
...you'll eat anything with a "Mc" in front of it.
...you believe that a tie is an acceptable ending for a baseball game.
...you'll spend an hour coming to the point when making a business call.
...you let your eye be drawn toward any female whose hair isn't black.
...your long distance phone bill looks like some countries' defense budgets.
...it no longer takes you three minutes to position chopsticks in your hand before you can eat.
...you answer the phone and freeze in indecision between saying "hello" or "moshi moshi."
...you choose "moshi moshi."
...you smile and wave at other foreigners who -- had you seen them back home -- you would have hidden from.
...when someone says "mansion" you picture a two-bedroom flat in a 400-unit apartment building.
...the only room you'll call a "bathroom" is one with a bathtub in it.
...you mutter "yoshi!" when lifting heavy objects.
...you're startled by any dog larger than a pekingese.
...you suck air through your teeth before saying "no" to anything.
...you assume any other foreigner you run into speaks English.
...you can't even have a family picnic without an opening and closing ceremony.
...you believe any enclosed shelter is worth $1500/month, if it's close to a train station.
...you can convert katakana back to English without having to first sound it out ten times slowly.
...you stop being friendly to clerks and cashiers.
...when someone says "biking" you think of a buffet.
...you bow and bob your head up and down furiously when on the phone with an important customer!
...you start off with.."Sa, Ne.." while formulating a response to a question.!
...you notice improvement in your Nihongo when you start ordering "hotto doggu" instead of "atsui inu"!
...you hold your hand up and bow when you walk between two people.
...its easier to get a taxi in Japanese when you've had too much to drink.
...you can buy a train ticket anywhere in under 30 seconds.
...you don't wait for the saishimi to stop moving before you eat it.
...you can find an address using landmarks instead of looking for the numbers.
...you actually know which chef to cheer for on TV's THE IRON CHEF! And...you don't cringe at the sight of the main ingredient! Mmmmmm...fish bladder!!!
...you can actually identify a state in the USA by what kind of produce it's famous for. Thank you AFN!
...you know the real price of that Asian vase in the fancy-shmancy import store....and know you could have had it for 100 yen!
...you wonder where the little tray with your tea and candy are while you are waiting at a place of business.
...you don't pass out in the produce aisle of your local grocer when you see a melon that costs $16.00!
...at 5'4"....you feel tall!
...you can find the humor in Japanese panel shows on TV!
...you think nothing of driving a vehicle with the model name...Royal Saloon, Blue Bird, Cherry, Minca...(what happened...no room for the "r"..Minicar?) And let's not forget the model with the name of...uh....how shall I put this...it's...Spanish for "Lady of the Evening"!!!
...you want to put a "green and yellow butterfly" symbol on your newly licensed teen driver's car!
...you devote an entire web site to it.
...you feel more than slightly annoyed if anyone directly says "no" to you.
...you don't even question the fact that the words maybe, how about later, prehaps this, and interesting are all forms of "no" or "that's bad."
...kabuki is more entertaining than any movie.
...you recognize every actor on the kabuki stage and can name them.
...any distance less than three miles is not so far to walk.
...you come to the realization that you haven't had to pay for tissue or band-aids since you got to Japan.
...you think that a school with 1,000 students is really small (even though it's more people than live in the town you grew up in).
...you think something is wrong with that gaijin who doesn't have a gameboy.
...the teachers in English class stop making the class humble by asking you to read the literature.
...the teachers in Japanese class stop trying to make a fool out of you by asking you to read the passage in the text book.
...you have long since stopped looking for the english translation of the stops on your train route.
...you think that 800 yen isn't such a bad price to get to school.
...you have forgotten, what does capacity law mean?
...when on the phone you don't use complete sentences, who needs verbs?
...you have a slight stomach ache, and your friend urges you to visit the hospital.
...you will pay three US dollars for a page of sixteen stickers with your picture on them.
...all of your business cards have your sex and blood type on the back.


[NOTE: I can't remember where on the internet I found this, so if anyone knows and can give credit, please do so!]

[iwao]

... when you refer to your nose when you say "I"
... when you think Y4000 is a reasonable prize for a nice melon
... when you stand in front of a taxi and wait till the driver will open the door
... when you cut the air with your hand (like a sword) when you want to cross a group of people
... say sumimasen whenever you want to apologize for things that might happen or maybe not
... when you wish you have a fan in summer to cool yourself on the street
... when you look for people in front of a train station who distribute paper handkerchiefs
... when you miss the phone ads in the phoneboxes (do I?)
... when you prefer walking in geta while your wife calls the psychotherapeutic (well actually she didn't, but warned me so)
... when you start loving natto and uni

I have been to Japan for more than 2 years (and some time for holiday) and started to do some things you pointed out above, that is about ten years ago
but some of these behaviors I still like - and make me somehow unique to my friends?! I also like to sing Japanese songs in the bath tub
I am soooo sentimental.

[mad pierrot]

when you think Y4000 is a reasonable prize for a nice melon
... when you stand in front of a taxi and wait till the driver will open the door

:D Good ones!

how about:

....when you buy gifts for co-workers whenever you leave town, even if it's just for a few hours.
....you end your statements with random vagueness.
....you hide from the NHK man routinely.
....your rice maker is always on.
....you take 8 breaks a day at work, and shuffle the papers on your desk at least twice a hour.

:sorry:

[iwao]

@mad pierrot: thx
... you make a bow after getting the money from the cash mashine
... when you buy beer by can labels (well I did it, but just to collect the stuff)
... leave the warm water in the bath tub for your kids
... buy local sweets/food (do we have that stuff in Europe/US?) to bring them home as omiyage, even your weekend trip was just 100 miles from home (anyway a nice tradition)
... you start to believe, nori makes black hair
...you think eating with otemoto is faster than with fork and knife (and actually you are faster with it)

[Xkavar]

You never wear shoes inside the house anymore
When you are you in the middle of Tokyo and feel like you don't want to leave your apartment because there's nothing to do.
- When you think it is reasonable to pay 3000yen for a taxi rather than walk 30min to go back home after the last train.
- When you are tongue-tied to find your words in your mother tongue.
... when you wish you have a fan in summer to cool yourself on the street
....when you buy gifts for co-workers whenever you leave town, even if it's just for a few hours.
....your rice maker is always on.


You'll experience the same stuff in Hawai'i too. :D

[Index]

When telling people (in English) the price of something you say (eg) three man, or my rent is ten man instead of thirty thousand and one hundred thousand.

[Nightwalker]

When you start singing Japanese songs to yourself in the bathroom...
:bluush: Oh God. I do that all the time. Even in class I start singing Gackt songs aloud. I had a lot of people staring at me and my friend was like forcing me to stop. XD

[Shibuyaexpat]

- when you take your shoes off...in the dressing room of a clothing store
- when you read English words and start reading with Japanese pronunciations (e.g., DATE becomes da-te)
- mutter little phrases to yourself (e.g., dou-shyo ka na?)
- don't bat an eye when you see a salary man on the train looking at a magazine with nudity

...And this is only from 6 months living here!

[gokarosama]

You use the descriptor "genki" when talking to Americans.

[kokiri]

before going to Japan you freely expressed opinions when you come back and someone asks you if you want to go somewhere you answer " umm it's going to be difficult...." instead of NO !! not interested, **** off !

kokiri

[Pachipro]

-you find yourself nodding your head back to the newscaster at the beginning and end of a newscast.

-you actually dream in Japanese.

-you return to your home country and drink soup directly from the bowl when you think no one is looking as it's so much easier.

-you think US$7 is not bad for a cup of coffee and a sliver of cake or pie.

-you can't wait for the next 15 min episode of the NHK morning drama.

-you can actually make fried rice, Omu rice, and a complete Tonkatsu dinner.

[Fukumoto]

When you leave Japan and assume anyone Japanese can speak and understand Japanese. The man that owns a store near my house always says things to my boyfriend (who is Japanese-Canadian) in Jap, and he has no idea what he is talking about. :blush:

[nurizeko]

havnt been to japan, but 3 years of much communication with my g/f in mixed japanese/english means i have to stop myself saying gomen or nani to british folk.

[Rich303]

very true
when i look behind me before changing directions while walking

I do this in the UK!(London) maybe I have natural japanese instincts
When I was in Spain I noticed people walking around paying no attention to where they were going. No offence Spaniards!


I read something on this thread the other day about bowing to cash machines - is this really true?!

[nurizeko]

.....You think having hair that looks fresh from a rough nights sleep equals high fashion, and you dont feel in anyway stripped of your masculinity by the fact you have more toiletries and cosmetic products then your spouse.
Continue this thread by adding your own "You know youve been in japan too long when..." submitions.
:cool:
Inspired by a book i bought, titled the same as the thread.
My favorate one from the book is: "...The pictures in your comic book make your buddy, who is a sailor, blush."
It may require the little cartoon image that comes with each one, but, i thought it was funny (its about the violence and rape and stuff in some manga).

[Maciamo]

I have created an article with the best ones (http://www.jref.com/entertainment/you_have_been_in_japan_too_long_when.shtml) in the Entertainment section.

[Mike Cash]

Have you seen the JREF article of the same title (http://www.jref.com/entertainment/you_have_been_in_japan_too_long_when.shtml) ?

Usenet has sort of done it to death as well: http://tinyurl.com/bcqga

[changedonrequest]

Feel free to add any if I missed any....I put together a few of my own and have borrowed some from friends and other message boards. I hope this thread is in the write location.....:okashii:

you notice you' ve forgotten how to tie shoelaces.
you rush onto an escalator and just stand there.
you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
you think US$17 isn' t such a bad price for a new paperback.
when you are talking on the telephone to your parents and your father says, " Why are you interrupting my explanation with grunts?"
you see another gaijin at your local supermarket and think " Wow, it' s a gaijin!"
you start thinking can-coffee tastes good.
you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like ' building' .
when the first option you buy for your car is a TV set.
you don' t think it unusual for a truck to play " It' s a Small World" when backing up.
you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
you think the opposite of red is white.
you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can' t bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan ' all about Japan' .
you think 360 yen to the dollar is a reasonable exchange rate.
you automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.
you think Masako is beautiful and Hillary is cute.
you find a beautiful new way to eat natto.
you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.
you think " English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut-brained bimbo.
you think its cool to stand in the " Japanese only" queue at Narita Immigration.
you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream.
you' re talking to your mother on the phone, and she asks you what " genki" means.
you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
you think wet umbrellas need condoms.
your mother talks about " you foreigners."
you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
when you think it' s alright to stick your head into a stranger' s apartment to see if anybody' s home.
your hair is thinning and you consider it " barcode style" .
when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl' s uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl' s uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.
you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
you think nothing about seeing 20 ads for women' s' sanitary napkins during one movie.
you have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.
you think " white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question " What are you giving me, doctor?" .
you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.
when you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of " Vermont curry" .
you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: " Hurry up! Ten cars now in quick succession, and then we' ll think about slowing down."
you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question " How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them.
you think NHK is " the Japanese BBC."
you think curry rice is food.
the Yakult lady knows you by name.
you think it is quite OK to play volleyball with 12 people per team.
when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by nature, you aren' t surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States.
you have a favorite bush to pee behind.
a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You' re not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?
when your arguing with someone about the color of the traffic light being blue or green...and you think it' s blue.
you think rice imports should be prohibited, because Japanese consumers would never buy imported rice.
when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
you get a " Nihongo ga joozu" and feel really insulted.
you see a road with two lanes going in the same direction and assume the one on the left is meant for parking.
when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
when having gaijin around you is a source of stress.
on a cold night, the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.
you return the bow from the cash machine.
you can' t find the " open" and " close" buttons in the elevator because they' re in English.

[Mikawa Ossan]

Oh, what the heck!
You use a separate pair of slippers for the toilet.

[changedonrequest]

You reply(and think nothing of it either):

"I'm fine thank you and you"

(With a higher pitch and accent on the "on you".) When someone asks you "How are you?" :(

[Dutch Baka]

When your using the V *peace* sign all the time.

[Maciamo]

I have merged the 4 threads titled "You know you have been in Japan too long when..." into this one. I had to delete some redundant messages notifying the existence of other similar threads and merge a few posts by the same users to save space.

[Mukade]

'You know you've been in Japan too long when...'

You read this thread and think:

'I don't get it. What's so strange about all these things?'

[Mike Cash]

"You know you've been in Japan too long when..."

You read this thread and think:

"Oh, crap. Another list of stuff about "you know you've been in Japan too long when..."

[Ewok85]

'You know you've been in Japan too long when...'
You read this thread and think:
'I don't get it. What's so strange about all these things?'

Heh, I was going to say that :p I don't get whats so bad about half of these...

[JimmySeal]

when driving faster than 70 kph (44 mph) feels dangerous, even on a straight road.
yet you feel no unease driving on a two-way "national road" that's the width of 1.2 cars, up the side of a mountain with a blind turn every 20 feet.

you've given your Western friends katakana readings in your cell phone phonebook. it's easier to search for them that way.
you burn your grass clippings (I hope I'll never stoop this low)
you forget what a plain looks like
you think that forests can't grow on flat land
you do a full calisthenics routine before going surfing
you don't feel self conscious wearing socks with sandals
any insect that's less than an inch long and isn't a mosquito is welcome to live in your home

[Mike Cash]

when driving faster than 70 kph (44 mph) feels dangerous, even on a straight road.

Most days, in my truck, my top speed is about 58kph. On expressways, no more than 78kph.

yet you feel no unease driving on a two-way "national road" that's the width of 1.2 cars, up the side of a mountain with a blind turn every 20 feet.

Try it in a tractor-trailer. I guarantee you'll feel unease.

you forget what a plain looks like

I live on the bleeding edge of the Kanto plain and drive all the way across it north-south six days a week. Damned glad not to have to go into the mountains anymore.