Do Japanese women make good wives?

[Honto]

I'm interested in a Japanese woman, and, if things ever head in the direction of marriage, I'd like to know what I might be getting in for because I know very little about Japanese culture (something I'm trying to change). I'd appreciate the wisdom of anyone who might have some information on the subject. Thanks.

[Mandylion]

Do you have any particular concerns? A lot will come down to the individual and by the time you get ready to marry this gal, you should have all her quirks figured out. We can only leave the details to you.

There are very conservative women and yet others who would put most others to shame with all their exploits. Trying to classify the Japanese woman is a tricky slope to climb - just like for making generalizations for any group.

Any one issue in particular you are keen on?

[playaa]

This topic never has made a question across my mind but, now that you have asked I too would be interested in an answer. Although, I don't think that them being Japanese makes a difference in whether they are good wives or not, I think it would all come down to the traditions of her Japanese background.

[Uncle Frank]

judge his wife on a public Forum??

Frank

:mad:

[Jean-Francois]

I can only tell you what I've seen.

My Canadian and American white friends who have Japanese wives are very happy with them (some are even pround of that).

The following is a list of their most common comments (some maybe offensive to white women):

1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.

2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.

3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.

4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.

5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.

Don't get mad at me, I am just telling what I have heard. I've never married to a J-girl so I can't tell you how true are the above statements.

But one time I went to a restaurant with my Japanese friend who had been married to her American husband for more than three years at the time. We each ordered a boiled lobster. My friend only ate the tail, the head and some of the claws and took the rest of the lobster home to her husband.

When her American husband was eating the lobster, he asked, " Which restaurant did you two go to ? They have very good lobster, lots of meat!" :giggle:

[Mandylion]

Of course, keep in mind, for each of the statements above, I could walk out my door this minute and find someone who would break some or all of those molds (well, not his minute as I am still in my pjs, but you get the idea).

I know Jean-Francois wasn't trying to paint all Japanese women as being like the wives of his friends - just telling us some of the things that are out there. Thanks! :)

[kirei_na_me]

I think all of those reasons were pretty superficial.

You know, what's odd is that a lot of Western guys think Japanese men are so terrible, because they think they treat the women bad. You know, force them to stay at home, force them to cook, force them to clean, suppress them, etc. etc.. Basically call them slave-drivers.

But then, what do most Western men give as reasons for preferring a Japanese woman? Because they claim they will cook for them, put them and their children first, they don't fight back, etc. etc. Just seems a little ironic to me?

Of course, not all Western guys are like that. Not all Japanese women are like Jean-Francois says. Not all Western women are like he says. Everyone should understand that something like this has to be taken on an individual basis.

And by the way. One thing I've learned from being around a lot of Japanese women. They might not fight back verbally, they might not yell, they might cook and take care of the kids, but they are smart. Very smart. By smart, I mean calculating. Just as calculating as the Western ones are, just not as open about it.

[Elizabeth]

Some are smart and calculating, some are smart enough to know what's going on but too powerless or sheltered or illogical or naive to do anything about it. Fortunately I don't have to worry about marrying one, cause it's just something really, really hard for me to understand....

[duff_o_josh]

i think that the above comments where a decent stereotype...of course all it is, is a stereotype...

[Maciamo]

Have you read my articles about The difference of meaning of marriage in Japan and in the West ? (http://www.jref.com/culture/marriage.shtml)

[Honto]

Thanks Maciamo! That's the kind of information I was looking for. I know you can't judge someone based on stereotypes of their culture, but it's good for me to try to understand what kinds of attitudes towards relationships, marriage, what's expected of you, etc she might have been exposed to through her culture. We all make choices about how we personally want to live our lives, but I think everyone is affected in some way by the attitudes of their culture. I disagree with some of the ways of thinking of my parents'/grandparents' generations, but I'm still affected by it because it's part of my culture. :v:

[Hachiko]

As long as you share a deep commitment to each other, that's okay. It really doesn't matter what ethnicity she is, as long as your relationship is strong, and not...celebrity-like. :-)

[dayjp]

I am weary to reduce the love relationships in a country of millions of people into a few concepts that you express in your short bit on marriage in Japan. As you would probably admit, contains stereotypes that would not hold true for all japanese marriages nor create the problems inferred in Japan/Western marriages. (the "West" is a big place by the way.)

I do not want to spend this time arguing that you are wrong, but rather argue that your bit does more damage than good. When I first came to Japan I also found the loveless marriages and the husbands that would go to soap clubs without an afterthought. Because my command of the language was not great at the time, I was quick to generalize. More importantly, however, I found that type of relationship beacuse I expected to find it. I read about it in books and heard about it through friends. When I found examples of it, I confirmed the ideas in the books and wrote to my friends about the screwed up relationships in Japan. I then closed my mind; the cultural puzzle was solved, and I had controlled and understood my environment.

In case you have never noticed, the cultural books on Japan are more wrong than right. You do not have to take your shoes off in cars; you can look Japanese people in the eye (and they will look back); you can eat an entire dish at once (have you ever heard that one? You should do an a counterclock wise cirlce with your dishes). Books and people love to generlize Japanese society. The "West" loves the mystic quality that we assign Japan, but do you think these myths are true? Do you think they may be propgated by people that know a little bit about Japan and very willing to advise the people that love Japan but have little first hand experience? What do you think this does to the true nature of the culture and how outsiders look at it?

I have been married to a Japanese person for four years. So far, everything has worked out great. Yes, the cultural background of a person does affect the marriage; however, I am not ready to write about what it is about "The Japanese Culture" that influence the marriage for better or worse. I do not want to mislead people that would be all too eager to take my ideas as objective cultural facts.

[kirei_na_me]

Good post, dayjp. Very good. :cool:

[nekosasori]

I agree that a person's role models, values, and basic personality traits are far more important to examine when evaluating someone's intrinsic value as a potential spouse.

However, shouldn't Honto be asking himself what HE is bringing to the partnership? What makes him think he'd make a good husband? What are the arguments that he can use to convince her to marry him?

The compatibility (and willingness to communicate and work on a relationship) must be mutual - it's a two way street.

I am a Nikkei, and thus have internalized some traditional Japanese values, as interpreted through my parents (that's a key point). I'm married to an Irish citizen. But does that mean we fulfil even one stereotype of a mixed culture marriage? Not necessarily (in fact, probably not).

No matter how strong and influential societal values are (especially in a conformist, insular culture such as can be found in Japan, or even Ireland), ultimately the individual must decide whether they agree to practice those values, and to what extent. In that sense I agree with dayjp - it's easier for people to seek out examples that validate their preconceptions (and misconceptions) when they read convincing sources state "facts", rather than refusing to make assumptions and taking each person as an individual with their own set of circumstances and behavioural traits. That makes things like Maciamo's interesting (even fascinating!) articles into perhaps dangerous documents. Unless they're read in the proper context, of course.

[DoctorP]

I have to say that I agree with both dayjp and nekosasori. Why would you even limit your search for a soulmate to one specific ethnic group? I never went in search of a Japanese wife, but it just happened. To tell the truth, I was raised in a very closed minded (read as racist) small southern town. As a teen I would've never dreamed that I would have married anyone but a white woman...pretty sad isn't it. My first wife was white, but the marriage failed, not really anyone's fault, we just moved too quickly. I found my Japanese wife totally by accident! :p

I will argue a few things stated earlier: Yes Japanese woman can and will get fat (not all of them). I have met many Japanese women who can not cook! (mine does :D ), in fact you can purchase everything you need pretty much already cooked at the market and just take it home! As for the raising of the voice...yes it does happen, but usually never in public, and it is usually caused by some type of language barrier (lack of knowledge) on one of the parties involved! :? (did that come out right?) And as for never complaining when your work causes you to go away? Ask a Japanese woman married to a military man...they complain quite often, unless they are living in Japan at the time of deployment!

My point is: women are really the same no matter where you go. Don't select your wife just because you have a facination with her heritage. Please get to know the person first and make sure that you are right for each other.

[PandaBearDragon]

I am married to a Japanise wife and many times I regret my decision.
She is nothing what I have thought she would be.
We've been married for little less than a year. I found out the other day that she's been exchanging emails with her ex-boyfriend.
She drinks way too much at night.
Oh! Did I mention that she is suicidal?

Since I married her, things has been going south.
She spends too much. I might go into debt soon.
I don't mean to scare the heck out of you but think hard before you decide to tie the knot. My advice goes to not only Japanise women but any women.

In my experience, I think there a lot of Japanise women who are materialistic.
I am screwed!

[Mike Cash]

We'll overlook the fact that the thread has been in a coma for three years.

How long did you know this woman before you walked into the bonds of holy matrimony with your eyes wide shut?

[Glenski]

consider this response too late and canceled.

[undone]

I'd like a mixed salad

[-Rudel-]

As in a tossed one?..........................

[undone]

Now we can relax and have our drinks. Cheers !

[ArmandV]

6. Japanese women all look like racequeens.

[FrustratedDave]

I am married to a Japanise wife and many times I regret my decision.
She is nothing what I have thought she would be.
We've been married for little less than a year. I found out the other day that she's been exchanging emails with her ex-boyfriend.
She drinks way too much at night.
Oh! Did I mention that she is suicidal?
Since I married her, things has been going south.
She spends too much. I might go into debt soon.
I don't mean to scare the heck out of you but think hard before you decide to tie the knot. My advice goes to not only Japanise women but any women.
In my experience, I think there a lot of Japanise women who are materialistic.
I am screwed!
Ahhh.... Now I see where all these threads have come from, mental illness, the three "H's" and the Korean women thread.

So you must be very rich, well educated and very tall if she married you ,or are you the exception to the rule? And I believe all your wife needs to do is go and see a proffessional if she is indeed unstable. Don't put "all Japanese women" in the same basket, just b/c you are having trouble. Maybe you could talk to her and see what is bothering her to be this way, b/c you obviously had something there to begin with???

[bakaKanadajin]

Good women exist in every culture, as do bad ones. GENERALLY speaking, Japan is a patriarchal culture so the male role is dominant and most traditionally-raised women are therefore a little more subserviant and resigned to working in the home as the mother and primary caregiver. They foster few career-oriented ambitions (they're encouraged to go to Colleges instead of Universities where they learn more practical things as opposed to business or sciences) and prefer to assist in the household by way of ensuring the man (traditional bread-winner) is well taken care of in order to continue winning bread. This is not really unlike the old-fashioned nuclear family of the Western 1950's.

That being said, Japanese women aren't docile or passive in their role, most do have strong ambitions surrounding travel, family outings, having interesting experiences, etc. and problems arise when they become neglected by their husbands due to heavy workloads and the prevalence of company drinking parties and such. This is the impression I got from a few frank and open conversations I had with my higher level students in Tokyo while I lived there. They took pride in keeping an immaculate household and having well-behaved children, but expressed disappointment that their husbands did not wish to move beyond 'winning bread' by encouraging weekend family outings and other extra-curriculars.

I think in general, behind every good man there's a good woman, and in Japanese culture this is still true in the traditional sense moreso than in any other 1st world nation. However I think in exchange for their reputation as excellent home makers and care givers Japanese women (rightly) expect a certain level of appreciation in return. The duties are different and unpaid but they wish to remain equal partners and not be neglected. Again, Japanese business culture lends itself to more neglect than the Western model so perhaps there's a reason why many Western/Japanese couples work out.

Just my observation and meager 2 cents.

[Pachipro]

Even though this was posted before I even joined JRef I find the question absurd and foolish as a woman from any culture can make a good or bad wife.

I am married to a Japanise wife and many times I regret my decision.
She is nothing what I have thought she would be.
We've been married for little less than a year. I found out the other day that she's been exchanging emails with her ex-boyfriend.
She drinks way too much at night.
Oh! Did I mention that she is suicidal?

Since I married her, things has been going south.
She spends too much. I might go into debt soon.
I don't mean to scare the heck out of you but think hard before you decide to tie the knot. My advice goes to not only Japanise women but any women.

In my experience, I think there a lot of Japanise women who are materialistic.
I am screwed!

Is your name Carlson? Seems like we heard this tune before. Seriously though, you will find these types of women no matter what country you are in. In all cultures there are the "good" ones and the "bad" ones. It is not defined to just one culture. It just seems you didn't get to understand the woman you were marrying and probably let the "little head" do your thinking for you as many a men do.

I have known Japanese woman who could not cook or control their spending while others were just the opposite. Some were fat and cared not what they looked like while others thought differently about their appearence. It all depends on the person and not the culture as I have known similar American women.

Some Japanese women could probably sing a tune or two about how terrible American husbands are and make a post on another forum giving the impression that all American men make bad husbands.

Some people would look at my marriage and think I am the luckiest man alive with my Japanese wife and I would have to agree with them. However, had I married one of the women I dated in the past, they would think I was married to the woman from hell. In both cases they would probably make sweeping generalizations about Japanese women as a whole.

Therefore, before getting married to ANY woman (or man) from another culture including your own, make sure you are both compatible in all aspects including language and cultural barriers and you should both be together for at least a year minimum before tying the knot. If not, then trouble and misunderstanding will arise as in PandaBearDragon's case.

[GodEmperorLeto]

I find it ironic that PandaBearDragon would dig up a thread that's been dead for three years and resurrect it with a vengeance.

Now and then, I, too, like to indulge in a little bit of mysogyny whenever my relations with women get me down (women do the same thing about men, too). It's human nature to do that. But I fail to see the point in going through all the work to dig up an old thread just to wax vitriolic.

Yeah, plenty of Japanese girls I've met are highly materialistic and the only reason they seem nice is because they want to appear that way, but are really manipulative and generally inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

Okay. So? And? The point is? What? Don't marry a Japanese woman? I'm sure plenty of the forum-members are married (happily) to Japanese women, and can provide a fantastic counter-example to this situation.

So, it seems like *some* people are basically using this forum to basically be mysogynistic. Which is not how it is meant to be used.

[Geostigma]

I am married to a Japanise wife and many times I regret my decision.
She is nothing what I have thought she would be.
We've been married for little less than a year. I found out the other day that she's been exchanging emails with her ex-boyfriend.
She drinks way too much at night.
Oh! Did I mention that she is suicidal?
Since I married her, things has been going south.
She spends too much. I might go into debt soon.
I don't mean to scare the heck out of you but think hard before you decide to tie the knot. My advice goes to not only Japanise women but any women.
In my experience, I think there a lot of Japanise women who are materialistic.
I am screwed!

I am only 20 years old, but a person's nationality or race is hardly a reason to spend the rest of your life with them. I think that you're simply using the fact that she's Japanese to hide the fact that you had no idea what you were doing when you married her.

[cyan]

I find it ironic that PandaBearDragon would dig up a thread that's been dead for three years and resurrect it with a vengeance.
Now and then, I, too, like to indulge in a little bit of mysogyny whenever my relations with women get me down (women do the same thing about men, too). It's human nature to do that. But I fail to see the point in going through all the work to dig up an old thread just to wax vitriolic.
Yeah, plenty of Japanese girls I've met are highly materialistic and the only reason they seem nice is because they want to appear that way, but are really manipulative and generally inconsiderate of other people's feelings.
Okay. So? And? The point is? What? Don't marry a Japanese woman? I'm sure plenty of the forum-members are married (happily) to Japanese women, and can provide a fantastic counter-example to this situation.
So, it seems like *some* people are basically using this forum to basically be mysogynistic. Which is not how it is meant to be used.

I actually like Panda's response to the thread. Why? Because it's an example that proves that there are both good sides and bad sides to every kind of women. So it just seems that it kind of balanced it out.
All cultures share the same kind of women~ lol. All that was in this thread so far in example wise was good Japanese women.


The title of the thread is kind of iffy though. "Good wife" "bad wife"? What are wives, just some kind of slave drivers? I thought that someone should hook up with a person and become married because they are compatible, not because one can cook or takes care of their children before themselves.

[Mike Cash]

I find it ironic that PandaBearDragon would dig up a thread that's been dead for three years and resurrect it with a vengeance.


I find it suspicious that he would dig up a thread that's been dead for three years, resurrect it with a vengeance, and participate in it no further.

[kireikoori]

I am married to a Japanise wife and many times I regret my decision.
She is nothing what I have thought she would be.
We've been married for little less than a year. I found out the other day that she's been exchanging emails with her ex-boyfriend.
She drinks way too much at night.
Oh! Did I mention that she is suicidal?
Since I married her, things has been going south.
She spends too much. I might go into debt soon.
I don't mean to scare the heck out of you but think hard before you decide to tie the knot. My advice goes to not only Japanise women but any women.
In my experience, I think there a lot of Japanise women who are materialistic.
I am screwed!
Drinking is often a result of depression. Same with suicidal thoughts.

So did you figure out why she was exchanging emails with her ex? It could very well be for comfort you're not willing to give her.

Do your best to be a crying shoulder. If she talks about suicide, give her a big hug, tell her how special she is, and how much you'd miss her.

I'm sorry, but so far it sounds like she's a better wife than you are a husband.

[Derfel]

Well its not like i wanna look smart, but in theory when two people of the opposite gender meet, they try to determine what kinda immune system they have, if their immune system differs the phenomenon "love" occurs, because if these two had children their immune system would inherit all the merits of their parents, so the bigger the difference, the less the systems overlap, therefore more information is inherited which makes the children more resistant, and in general more healthy, and also hybrids tend to be bigger in size. So this would theoretically mean that an asian/european pair should get along well, although this isn't guaranteed.

[Ultraman]

@Derfel, There is that hybrid word again. Are you getting that out of a dictionary or something? It's like saying "I only got married because the mating was good".

You would make a great 'love doctor'.

[Derfel]

You got me wrong, the question was: "Do Japanese women make good wives?" Well what i wrote is a possible answer, don't accept it if you don't believe it, but you know this is whats behind love, sure you can live thinking that love is some transcendent divine thing (which it might be regardless of the chemical details, only God knows), but you can't deny it that this is how it happens. It would be foolish to deny the existence of our natural reflexes and instincts.

[Chaotic]

I'm interested in a Japanese woman, and, if things ever head in the direction of marriage, I'd like to know what I might be getting in for because I know very little about Japanese culture (something I'm trying to change). I'd appreciate the wisdom of anyone who might have some information on the subject. Thanks.

Well, I know little about the Japanese culture as well, but if you ask me you can't define one woman based on her entire race. Each person is individually different - and although similar in culture, have their own beliefs, tastes and tempers.

I have heard though that the Japanese women are conservative...and my friend says to me that a lot of them prefer to marry American men because they tend to be more accepting of treating women as equals (it's just what my friend said - I personally treat women as equals to me).

[Paul Houghty]

Marriage, like many things in life, requires hard work from both parties. It is not a walk in the park. Being married to a Japanese Wife will afford you the respect of her family and the community, but is a give and take arrangement. She is unlikely to want to cook and clean if you aren't trying your hardest at work. In this sense, the subservient Japanese Wife is certainly a myth. Japan is not for everyone, so if you are not sure about your fiancee you should probably not get married.

[Dutch Baka]

Japan is not for everyone

You do not have to repeat this in all your threads Paul, thank you.

[Mikawa Ossan]

In general, I don't think Japanese women make for better or worse wives than anyone else. True, I'm not married, myself, but I know many, many married people, and there doesn't seem to be anything special one way or the other about Japanese wives.

The one thing that I would strongly caution, though, is making sure that if you marry a Japanese woman, that you are able to competently communicate in some language. If you don't speak much Japanese, and she doesn't speak much English or whatever language you speak, getting married is a horrible idea until you can communicate at a decent level.

That goes for marrying people of any nationality.

[scorpion da black]

i hope so....i want and wish that i end up marying a japanese women
i fall for japanese women easyly
i dont know why.. they just have magic on me......i love their eyes ...so cute
the way they smile
i am not saying all japanese girls are attractive...but i am saying all japanese girls are gorgouse in my eyes

[Derfel]

i hope so....i want and wish that i end up marying a japanese women
i fall for japanese women easyly
i dont know why.. they just have magic on me......i love their eyes ...so cute
the way they smile
i am not saying all japanese girls are attractive...but i am saying all japanese girls are gorgouse in my eyes

You should probably get a doll than, marriage isn't like that. Sure im not married, nor do i want to marry for the time being, but saying that you particularly want to marry a japanese person makes it seem like you have a pink cloud in front of your eyes, simply cause there are loads of both egoists and selfless folks among pretty much any and every nation. And marrying someone for her "cuteness" only is somewhat irresponsible. One thing is for certain, if you imagine marriage so sweet and soft, you shouldn't marry yet.

Don't get me wrong, im not trying to seem smart, im simply telling that marriage is a trap that will cut your legs off if you approach it carefully, but if you're too hasty it'll chop your head off. For example, my parents are living in quite a nice marriage, but i have to take the annoying parts of both cultures, and it gets on my nerves. Well whatever, went a little OT, sorry about it, if you find it annoying ignore it.

[tokapi]

Yeah, plenty of Japanese girls I've met are highly materialistic and the only reason they seem nice is because they want to appear that way, but are really manipulative.



Ain't that ... The truth .... :blush::D:emblaugh:

[scorpion da black]

You should probably get a doll than, marriage isn't like that. Sure im not married, nor do i want to marry for the time being, but saying that you particularly want to marry a japanese person makes it seem like you have a pink cloud in front of your eyes, simply cause there are loads of both egoists and selfless folks among pretty much any and every nation. And marrying someone for her "cuteness" only is somewhat irresponsible. One thing is for certain, if you imagine marriage so sweet and soft, you shouldn't marry yet.

Don't get me wrong, im not trying to seem smart, im simply telling that marriage is a trap that will cut your legs off if you approach it carefully, but if you're too hasty it'll chop your head off. For example, my parents are living in quite a nice marriage, but i have to take the annoying parts of both cultures, and it gets on my nerves. Well whatever, went a little OT, sorry about it, if you find it annoying ignore it.


i know what you mean.........that is why i said i hope so......they are so cute...but facts doesnt always match with hopes!!
i know that my hopes can be flushed down the toilet....but it is ok to dream :p
by the way ...i am the most hesitant person when it comes to marriage....my trust is hard to get easy to loose and imposible to regain.....that is a code i made after a lot of experineces.......:souka:

[Han Chan]

In general, I don't think Japanese women make for better or worse wives than anyone else. True, I'm not married, myself, but I know many, many married people, and there doesn't seem to be anything special one way or the other about Japanese wives.
I agree 100%. It makes no point generalizing.

Personally I have been married with a japanese woman for nine years now, and I am pleased with my choice.
:cool:

[Noppin]

Sorry Derfl, but that's not how love works either. Human's can't communicate information about their DNA to eachother.

But it does pretty much boil down to chemicals, just not in the way you think it does. I don't care how good a girl's immune system is, if she's thicker than bricks my enjoyment nodes stop recieving electrons, and my get-the-hell-out-of-here nodes overflow.

I find it's a good idea to treat all women the same way, with respect and courtesy. I'm not saying that you should be boring, because that generally doesn't work.

Just make ever so slight modifications depending on what's culturally appropriate.

[Rahmie]

I can only tell you what I've seen.
My Canadian and American white friends who have Japanese wives are very happy with them (some are even pround of that).
The following is a list of their most common comments (some maybe offensive to white women):
1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.
2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.
Don't get mad at me, I am just telling what I have heard. I've never married to a J-girl so I can't tell you how true are the above statements.
But one time I went to a restaurant with my Japanese friend who had been married to her American husband for more than three years at the time. We each ordered a boiled lobster. My friend only ate the tail, the head and some of the claws and took the rest of the lobster home to her husband.
When her American husband was eating the lobster, he asked, " Which restaurant did you two go to ? They have very good lobster, lots of meat!" :giggle:

Wow what an insulting, untrue generalization of two countries. I hope I never meet your friends. :okashii:

[Goldiegirl]

My manicurist is from Viet Nam and he told me a little story today and said that it is a common belief in his home town. The translation isn't quite exact but here goes...Live in an American house, eat Chinese food, and marry a Japanese woman. The point being he said that America is the best place to live, you can afford to go out to eat, and Japanese wives always obey. hmm.......

[Derfel]

i know what you mean.........that is why i said i hope so......they are so cute...but facts doesnt always match with hopes!!
i know that my hopes can be flushed down the toilet....but it is ok to dream :p
by the way ...i am the most hesitant person when it comes to marriage....my trust is hard to get easy to loose and imposible to regain.....that is a code i made after a lot of experineces.......:souka:

Now, now, don't get me wrong, you can make it come true, i don't believe in destiny, but will, one way or another you can make it come true, the question is how lucky will you get, because you need both luck and sacrifices, deciding about luck is not up to you, but you decide whether you want to make sacrifices, so basically ok, you don't get lucky, still you can go ahead and browse matchmaking advertisements in some dodgy magazine, and marry some fat, old "woman" who claims that her grand, grand, grand someone's grand, grand, grand father was quarter Japanese, BUT are you willing to sacrifice that much to fulfill your dream? For your sake i hope you are not. But hey, hold your head up, you might end up marrying some Japanese beauty queen or something (well that is probably more of a sacrifice lol, but at least you get something in return, but that surely won't be housework and food :D).
You say you are hesitant, oh well, i can understand that, marriage might be something divine, pure etc., but from what i've seen in Hungary its more of a purgatorium where you repent for sins you've never committed, and i hear this "phenomenon of early divorce" is just spreading across the world.

As for me, i don't think much about marriage, im an egoist, i was raised as one since i have no siblings, i always was, am and will be in the centre of my parents' attention, and i decided i would live my life only for myself, until i come to a point where i decide otherwise, that is if i will come to such a point, i mean why would i willingly put handcuffs on, when i still want to study, still want to see the World, meet folks freely, so yeah, for now, (that means for like another 10 years or so) daren't even think about clipping my wings in such a horrible way. Well whatever, i won't bore you any more.

[GodEmperorLeto]

It makes no point generalizing.
Personally I have been married with a japanese woman for nine years now, and I am pleased with my choice.
Okay, I hear stuff against generalizing all of the time, but I have to be honest, human beings generalize, pigeonhole, and label, and they often enough do it to themselves. Sartre and Camus never considered themselves existentialists, even though everyone else does, for example.

My point is, there is a point to generalizing. If people of Group A didn't have a tendency to perform Action B, then we would never consider stereotyping Group A as performers of Action B. If you are married to a Japanese woman, awesome. Exceptions neither prove or disprove a generalization, because a generalization isn't a rule. It is (or at least should be) an objective observation of trends in behavior within a specific social group. As an historian, I have to work based off of assumed generalizations all of the time. I expect exceptions to appear. I'm surprised if they don't. But just because 9 people complain about their horrible Japanese girlfriends and one guy says, "Mine is awesome" neither makes all Japanese girls awesome, nor disproves the trend or tendency of Japanese girls to be selfish/manipulative/etc. The generalization is simply that--a generalization. It indicates a tendency within that population, nothing more.

Wow what an insulting, untrue generalization of two countries. I hope I never meet your friends.
Wow, someone else on the "generalizations are bad, m'kay" bandwagon. Why are you so offended by the observations this guy has made? Is he simply making them up to make himself feel better? Did he simply wake up one morning and say, "Gee, I'm going to start hating American/Canadian women and doing everything I can to make them look bad"?

Despite my own desire to object to what he says, I find a lot of what he's observed to actually be true... within certain geographic and social populations. That qualifier (in bold) is incredibly important, because apparently, these guys have bad taste in American women. They are probably going after the bottle-blondes with the giant sunglasses, miniskirts, fake tans, and furry boots that can't speak more than four words in a row without saying "like" at least once and drive cars their daddies paid for. (Okay, yes, I'm admittedly bitter). But that does not account for the remaining 85% of the female American population.

Oh and I do definitely object to the following:
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.

#3 sounds ridiculous, and is implying that American mothers/wives don't put their husbands/children first. #s 4 and 5 sound incredibly sexist/cheauvanist.

And when it comes to Americans, yes, I believe American tend to women make bad wives, but I also believe American men can make rotten husbands--people don't get married to have a family, become a member of a team, and/or make the other person happy, they get married with the expectation that the other person will make them happy, while simultaneously maintaining complete autonomy from their spouse. Both genders are guilty of this, in my opinion.

Nevertheless, the only reason to get so offended is if these comments hit close to home. If you aren't guilty, what have you to be offended about? If you aren't like that, then you can sit confidently secure in your knowledge that these guys have poor taste in American/Canadian women.

The translation isn't quite exact but here goes...Live in an American house, eat Chinese food, and marry a Japanese woman.
I know a variation. Live in an American house, drink German beer, marry a Japanese woman, drive a... something... car, and a few other things I don't remember.

[scorpion da black]

Now, now, don't get me wrong, you can make it come true, i don't believe in destiny, but will, one way or another you can make it come true, the question is how lucky will you get, because you need both luck and sacrifices, deciding about luck is not up to you, but you decide whether you want to make sacrifices, so basically ok, you don't get lucky, still you can go ahead and browse matchmaking advertisements in some dodgy magazine, and marry some fat, old "woman" who claims that her grand, grand, grand someone's grand, grand, grand father was quarter Japanese, BUT are you willing to sacrifice that much to fulfill your dream? For your sake i hope you are not. But hey, hold your head up, you might end up marrying some Japanese beauty queen or something (well that is probably more of a sacrifice lol, but at least you get something in return, but that surely won't be housework and food :D).
You say you are hesitant, oh well, i can understand that, marriage might be something divine, pure etc., but from what i've seen in Hungary its more of a purgatorium where you repent for sins you've never committed, and i hear this "phenomenon of early divorce" is just spreading across the world.

As for me, i don't think much about marriage, im an egoist, i was raised as one since i have no siblings, i always was, am and will be in the centre of my parents' attention, and i decided i would live my life only for myself, until i come to a point where i decide otherwise, that is if i will come to such a point, i mean why would i willingly put handcuffs on, when i still want to study, still want to see the World, meet folks freely, so yeah, for now, (that means for like another 10 years or so) daren't even think about clipping my wings in such a horrible way. Well whatever, i won't bore you any more.

well thanks for raising my hopes up......but from what i read here..they gave marriage a scary describtion....:souka:
i propebly wont mary soon after what i read here :okashii:

[takoyaki girl]

Do Japanese women make good wives? hmmm... what do you mean by being a "good wife"? i think it all depends on your meaning about being a "good wife". does that mean she has to be willing to leave her work and take care of the family? being submissive to you?etc etc... cause the way i see it.. any woman from any country or race can be a good wife. you just have to be patient and careful though cause all the good things in life like a good and suitable wife are very hard to find.

gambatte ne!

[MadamePapillon]

I can only tell you what I've seen.
My Canadian and American white friends who have Japanese wives are very happy with them (some are even pround of that).
The following is a list of their most common comments (some maybe offensive to white women):
1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.
2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.
Don't get mad at me, I am just telling what I have heard. I've never married to a J-girl so I can't tell you how true are the above statements.
But one time I went to a restaurant with my Japanese friend who had been married to her American husband for more than three years at the time. We each ordered a boiled lobster. My friend only ate the tail, the head and some of the claws and took the rest of the lobster home to her husband.
When her American husband was eating the lobster, he asked, " Which restaurant did you two go to ? They have very good lobster, lots of meat!" :giggle:


This statement is really old but since the concepts still ring true today...


I'd say if these are your main reasons for marrying a japanese woman or searching for a japanese wife you are seriously misguided. Marriage is a PARTERSHIP, not the wife sacrificing herself for the enjoyment and happiness of her husband, cooking, cleaning, staying skinny after how many kids while the husband runs off and lives his life without her.

It sounds very much like all you and your friends (and so many other Western males) want are glorified servants. If that's the case than no wonder there are so many of them going on and on about what crappy wives Canadian/American women make, there are very few westen (or japanese) women willing to put up with that attitude for any extended amount of time.

It's time to stop living in the past buddy. That 'barefoot and pregnant' bit doesn't fly so well anymore. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[takoyaki girl]

hahahaha! well said... :beer:

[Derfel]

Do Japanese women make good wives? hmmm... what do you mean by being a "good wife"? i think it all depends on your meaning about being a "good wife". does that mean she has to be willing to leave her work and take care of the family? being submissive to you?etc etc... cause the way i see it.. any woman from any country or race can be a good wife. you just have to be patient and careful though cause all the good things in life like a good and suitable wife are very hard to find.
gambatte ne!

I agree. But you ask what they want? You wrote clearly what they want, slaves, boring people want obedient and boring wives who do just what they were told by their parents, grandparents and their husband. While i don't care much about their lives, because they're responsible as well, i find it disgusting, sure let them do housework if thats what they want, but hell, we're living in the 21st century, and the meaning of family isn't what it used to be a hundred years ago. When some people say: "For the sake of the family i will do this much, and that much, and sacrifice this and that." i can only smile. We're living in a world of comfort (i don't mean the whole world, but those who live in complete poverty probably don't complain much about marriage, on the other hand they have to sacrifice much for their family.) honestly, you don't have to do much to be a normal parent, just take your child to kindergarten, go to work and thats it, sure you can stay with him if you've got the time and cash, but its not like he's going to shatter mentally if you're not around him all the time. Whenever you have the time spend it with him, but for God's sake, without work you can't feed your child now can you? And this makes it obvious, yes, this is where i get to my point, either make sure you can raise them without any difficulty, and with a minimal amount of complications, or don't have children at all, and if you already have children and it causes you problems, well its bad yeah, but the kid can handle a bit of stress too, i don't mean starvation and such, but surely its not that much of a problem if he grows up a bit earlier. Anyway, im probably wrong, i just hate the "We're so happy and boring." family stereotype.
And i must say this again, its so damn disgusting that some people think (probably they are wrong, i can't tell since i had no contact with Japan yet, but yeah, hope its wrong) that they should marry Japanese women for these ridiculous reasons. I mean WTF? are you Homer from the Simpsons? Don't you have any individualism in you? Sure you don't marry a dragon, thats true, but i think some people imagine marriage like a harem anime or something. And i guess that the people who bring this stuff up all are divorced, cause they married the first woman they met after leaving the graduation ceremony of high school. Well whatever, all i can say, slavedriver types, just don't marry, its the 21st century, so your only hope is like Pakistan or Iran, so start buying camels folks.

[takoyaki girl]

i myself is not the type who will drop everything just for a man.. well a sensible, sensitive, confident man would never ask me to do anything like that. for someone independent and who loves individuality i find it pathetic. but there are some women who doesn't mind leaving everything behind for the sake of their family, they dont mind leaving their work, doing house hold chores, doing the grocery, taking care of the kids to make sure they grow up well. we can't blame these women cause weather we like it or not they are happy doing these things. well of course except to those who are just being forced by their husbands. in the end, it' s just about finding somone who shares the same feelings, principles and out look in life with you.

[Derfel]

In the end? In the end we don't know what the hell's it about. Sure if there's Ede/Heaven/Promised Land or anything like it, than it probably pays out to be a humble wife/husband, but if we just decompose, than we live in the egoists paradise, and in my opinion, i'd rather spend a couple of years in the purgatorium regretting that i've lived my life for myself, than not being to regret a thing cause i've rotten away lol.
Conformists start to bore me. Why oh why would it matter to a person if the food is ready, the house is bloody shining, or anything like that? I just don't get it. People make life complicated for themselves. When i just look at my own family: My mother didn't cook yet, my father's starving with a pale face, but no, no way, he wouldn't go and find himself something to eat, nah, he's ready to sit there until my mother prepares food, or until he starves to death, simply cause for him, a simple sandwich, or something isn't satisfactory (come on tell me, is there anything better than bread and blue cheese/nice rotten camembert?). And when i get hungry and get something outta the freezer, he's like "Can you eat it like THAT? Its cold ahmygawd." It just makes me laugh, we (human society, civilization, call whatever you wish) became so damn soft and lazy. On weekends when i wake up and find my parents drinking coffee with their "We're so happy about each other" expression in their "We're so happy about each other" mood, i just wanna puke. Sure good for them, they feel nice, but God, isn't it a bloody cliché? It is, but still people all over the world seem to be enjoying it... i just can't get the answer, why is it? Why would you sacrifice your personal freedom just to be able to call each other by some "sweet" name in the morning?
Well whatever, hope im not the only one who thinks this way.

[SushiShin]

Well, since there are too manty comments to read, i will just say what i think about. There are many people who experience problems, mistakes,regrets and we all have our bad and good days, i'm total different, i like Japanese girls because they are easygoing people, and if you have problems that you wanna want to discuss with someone else, they are the perfect people, i have never heard from someone else that they were gratefull for the things i do, sometimes people consider me as japanese sometimes not, and i don't mind what they say, its just like wind that goes in one ear and back away in the other. If i would married a girl then it shall be 99% japanese or 1% other nationality. I think everyone makes mistakes and they regret from what they did. But never forget be good for anything that comes in your direction, in my younger days (lol i speak like an old guy now (>.<) ) i was always alone and i saw the emptyness in my heart, that there wasn't nobody to wait for me that is LONELYNESS! That your wife drinks, that she is suical you cannot udno that, its her character that is who she is, but be pleased she is there, that there is someone to hang on with you untill the day you leave this world. Be good to everything.

Shin :Japanese girls? Definetly! i wouldn't hesitate, but one thing i remembered now, when i go for one i must test her before marrying her, otherwise im broke before i even know it:relief:

My last words: Love is what connects us and love is in any languages the same,nor race, nor skincolour, we all speak the same language, and thats is the language of love

[kireikoori]

Am I the only one who thinks it's strange that so many guys think Japanese girls are perfect submissive girls who don't get fat, look like supermodels, ect.

Come on every country has it's bitchy, mean, fat, fugly girls.

Submissive? That's not a good quality, that's being someone's *****. D:

I've heard plenty of good and bad experiences about Japanese girls. And well...that's because Japan is a country just like any other. Not another planet.

Why do people make topics like this?

I like Japanese women as much as the next guy. Well maybe not quite as much as the next guy, but I agree that they have alot of pretty women..but I don't think they act different from anyone else.

This whole submissive thing that some people say is creepy. D:

[SushiShin]

Everyone is different, everyone has his/her own dreams, his/her own idea's.
And i respect that just like i think everyone has to respect everyone.
Gay/Straight/Black/White/Yellow/Fat/Nice/Ugly/Skinny......

those are who the people and don't argue it, never laugh at somebody's handicap and never hurt someone because he/she is different, there is a movie without many words, there is only music and sad scene's its about life and life after death. This movie is called Casshern, and this is one of the reasons why i like the movie.

No matter who we are or what we do we are connected to each other and everyone has his/her own taste. If I like only japanese girls then it has a reason, if somebody likes fanta instead of cola then it was his/her own reason.

Can you separate good from bad?

No, im sorry nobody can, not even the most intelligent people on earth.

Live and be happy to live, love and you will be loved back, do good to people and you'll be reward someday.

Enjoy your life, that is the dream of us all, and then when you are old, you'll find that small measure of peace, that we all seek but few of us ever find.

[Han Chan]

Am I the only one who thinks it's strange that so many guys think Japanese girls are perfect submissive girls who don't get fat, look like supermodels, ect.

Come on every country has it's bitchy, mean, fat, fugly girls.

Submissive? That's not a good quality, that's being someone's *****. D:

I've heard plenty of good and bad experiences about Japanese girls. And well...that's because Japan is a country just like any other. Not another planet.

Why do people make topics like this?

I like Japanese women as much as the next guy. Well maybe not quite as much as the next guy, but I agree that they have alot of pretty women..but I don't think they act different from anyone else.

This whole submissive thing that some people say is creepy. D:
I agree. The question seems insulting. It is like the question has been worded just like if the question were: Do Sony make good TVs?

This thresd was silly to begin with, but actually it turned out to be a quite nice one.:-)

[Derfel]

Am I the only one who thinks it's strange that so many guys think Japanese girls are perfect submissive girls who don't get fat, look like supermodels, ect.

Come on every country has it's bitchy, mean, fat, fugly girls.

Submissive? That's not a good quality, that's being someone's *****. D:

I've heard plenty of good and bad experiences about Japanese girls. And well...that's because Japan is a country just like any other. Not another planet.

Why do people make topics like this?

I like Japanese women as much as the next guy. Well maybe not quite as much as the next guy, but I agree that they have alot of pretty women..but I don't think they act different from anyone else.

This whole submissive thing that some people say is creepy. D:

Thats cause some people can't remain in their own world of illusions, i mean sure, some people don't like this world, don't like how things are, but thats not a big problem, the crap begins when they project their desires on something they find to be of higher level or higher whatever, call it whatever you wish, in a nutshell they find Japan, and Japanese culture something transcendent, pure etc. etc. Truth is that they don't give a damn about it, they are too afraid to realize reality because they would have to discard the illusions that help them, aid them through their days. And thats why they ask dumb questions, they do it because they hope that someone will respond to it, someone will confirm in what even though they don't believe in subconsciously. That kinda people just ask if Japanese wives are better, or confirm it, they draw a picture on which all wives are black and only Japanese ones white, its pretty much a campfire of retardedness around which they spread their false beliefs and feel pr0. One thing is for certain, the human mind is too complex to be categorized, in truth stereotypes only live in one's imagination.

And let me add one more thing... if i were a Japanese woman, i'd surely be pissed about all this stuff, after all this all turns out to be some philosophical experiment or something, and you can guess who play the role of samples. In my opinion there's no point discussing Japanese wives anymore. After all this if there are still people who say "Japanese wives are teh best, American wives are zeh fat and ugleh." All i can say is that they are retarded, i probably shouldn't say it, but someone who doesn't understand such a simple thing after this much discussion surely projects his world onto reality, and we simply can't help it. Just accept it, no wives are that much different.
And if you had bad experience with your Japanese wife... well tough luck, be more careful choosing your wife in your next life, that is if there is such a thing. Japanese wives are not to be blamed because your wife is a harpy, its just how things turned out.

[tokapi]

It's time to stop living in the past buddy. That 'barefoot and pregnant' bit doesn't fly so well anymore. Sorry to burst your bubble.



.... clap .... clap .... clap .... :cool:

[MadamePapillon]

I think the saddest part is that many people don't really seem to think about japanese girls/women as people (at least that's what the attitude seems to be conveying). You hear a lot about how cute they are, how submissive, how user friendly so to speak, almost as if they were blowup dolls that aren't much good for anything but looking pretty.

Not a whole lot of people talk about their personalities...or much anything aside from marriage or shopping. Japanese girls love to shop and they make good wives, that's about all you ever hear. Talk about being stuck in deep dark pit of non-expectation.

[bakaKanadajin]

I think the saddest part is that many people don't really seem to think about japanese girls/women as people (at least that's what the attitude seems to be conveying). You hear a lot about how cute they are, how submissive, how user friendly so to speak, almost as if they were blowup dolls that aren't much good for anything but looking pretty.

Not a whole lot of people talk about their personalities...or much anything aside from marriage or shopping. Japanese girls love to shop and they make good wives, that's about all you ever hear. Talk about being stuck in deep dark pit of non-expectation.

I'd have to agree with this statement, a lot of the time Japanese women and even Japan is viewed as this commodity that everyone would like to have a piece of. It does go both ways though, I've heard it argued that gaijin boyfriends are the ultimate accessory for some Japanese girls. But I think there's still a difference there. Even if the gaijin accessory approach is true, it's still not marriage. However, marrying based on the utility you think a woman is going to present you with is a little harsher in my opinion just because you're talking about a serious financial, emotional and time committment as well as the possibility of children. The 'cool' factor that exists when two people from different cultures date is healthy, but I don't think it should be a deciding factor, there's obviously more to marriage than that.

[Derfel]

Yeah but when you look at it, the people who are obsessed with Japanese wives are mostly the ones that:

-Can't find Japanese study material no matter how hard, and long they look.
-Really really really want to learn Japanese, so much that they don't forget to mention it twice a day at least, six times on weekends.
-Will (not can, not want to, but WILL, BLOODY PREDESTINATION) travel to Japan in a couple of weeks, or months, in the worst (but sadly most realistic) case years.
-Talk about anything Japan-related with as many emoticons that it could match the amount of people who fell in Verdun during the 1st WW.
-Watched 4 episodes of Dragonball (Dragonball is disgusting, please don't watch it) and believe that every single Japanese girl will fall for them if they have a haircut like Vegita.
-Learnt half of the hiragana characters, but already are writing them everywhere in their class, or workplace.

You can figure out the rest, they have plenty of characteristics.
And before i get lynched, because i don't know a thing about Japan (which is true when it comes to modern society in actual live situations), i don't claim to know anything other than what is obvious, and evident even for someone who never experienced a day in Japan. While i had fun writing these characteristics, please note, if you feel offended about them, you probably believe that i direct these few rows at you (generally speaking to folks). If thats the case than you pretty much walked into the trap because you already know that you belong to the enchanted, seduced, rising-sun-worshipping masses. Im sorry, this is harsh, but i had to write it in case someone jumped at my throat.

And another thing about going into Japan. If you plan to go, you probably shouldn't boast about it, not because its not true, or we're jealous, its simple plain sense, normally one doesn't show off and boast when can't prove a thing. Thats it, im ready for the lynch court :D

[SushiShin]

Lol, you are quite right, but in the reality it is like he said folks!
He took the words out of my mouth and he wrote them down.
Except there is one thing he forgot, there are people who had bad luck and who suffered a lot of misery and they want something they always see over the head, for example a black guy said before he never wants an asian girl and he always wanted a latino girl and at the end he is together with an asian girl:o

so let's say : Never say 'Never'

and yes, there are also people who are different, but they are quite normal like everyone else but still they like only one population, does that made them different from anyone else? just because he likes only one specific culture?

To be honest, i think we have to listen to other people before biting to each other or drawing a katana or whatever....
Listen first, then think what there has been said, and then write.
i've learned a lot in such a small periode, that i won't kick myself again twice to the same rock.

Japanese girls are nice and they are cute yes yes, but there are japanese girls who are like anyone else, bitchy,jealous etc....

But what i think every girl has also a good side no matter what she is black,yellow,white... old,young.... big,small.... we all have a heart and we will all help each other if we are in need.

So i'll repeat a phrase what i consider as the most important in our lives.

Love everyone and everyone will love you, learn to love and love will learn from you.

[Derfel]

You don't have to love everyone, but we all have a stupid side, all we should do is just spare each other from our retarded side and thats all.

[SushiShin]

that would be a good anwser too, but i'll add more, spare each other from the madness and the anger we bring over. Speak and write gentile, be friendly as most you can and everything will falls into place.

[Derfel]

We can be nice and gentle, but not every single time, sure so people can be, but when you see the ignorance and endless stupidity of some people there's a point where you just say: "Enough, now im PISSED!" I'd say be gentle to those that are nice, gentle, polite and friendly to you and your friends, all the rest, the ignorant masses... let them sink or swim. All this is probably a taboo, but i dare say that i don't care about the well being of those that are hostile towards me, with an ill intent of course. But of course being gentle, kind and helpful towards those that are worthy is the least, one can do, its what one has to do. So yeah, i have to agree with Herbal Shin on that part.

[grounded in japan]

well i have some practical experience of what it's like being married to a Japanese wife andof Japan as well. i have been married to my wife and living in Japan for 7 years now and 5 years before that we met in New Zealand, and lived in Hong Kong and Holland as well before coming to Japan and settling down.

i love travelling and i spent a couple of years backpacking in India, Nepal and Thailand, all of which really interested me, but not good places to live especially. i have never been interested in Japan before i came here and knew little about it, but i have made a point of learning about it's history and culture as well as studying Japanese people and their charactures and habits.

every country has it's own characturistics and i think it is actually quite fair to say certain things in general. i do think most Japanese women make good wives, they don't get fat if they're not large build already and they are usually very industrious and nowhere near as big mouthed as western or other women. this is very generalized and the individual characture of a women from anywhere is what is important.

neither my wife, or i (i'm from the UK) are especially typical of our nationalities, but we both do of course have some characturistics from our respective backgrounds. in the case of my wife, she is so energetic, works 6 days a week for example, sorting out the kids in the morning and evening in addition, is always happy and kind and is simply the most wonderful woman i could have hoped to have met (we met quite by chance)

i agree with the posts that say you have to take a woman on her merits regardless of nationality, but this is just my personal opinion. the difficulty with a western man making a Japanese woman his wife would be, in my opinion, that she would probably have to speak reasonable English, which eliminates 99% of all Japanese women, and be interested in foreign culture and travel, which eliminates a few more. i do have an American friend who lives near Tokyo who is married to a Japanes woman and he says if he had his time again, he wouldn't do it as he got stuck living in Japan and working for corporate Japan, but i'm a lot luckier than him.

just my opinion and experience.

[SushiShin]

Japanese women make very good wives, but like i state before, everyone is different you have some bad too. But remember its not because there is one rotten apple in the basket that it means they are all rotten apples.

IMHO, i like japanese girls very much, but sometimes i also wanna have something else. I'm young i have still time, now i'm gonna enjoy life then when the time comes i'll marry a girl from japan, but like i also said. Never say never.

Peace and love.

Shin*

[Derfel]

I'm young i have still time

Hehe, the blessing of the 21st century, people realize that their lives are not about reproducing :D The seed of egoism has been sown. To avoid misunderstanding, im just glad to hear something like that.

[Rontaz]

I can only tell you what I've seen.
My Canadian and American white friends who have Japanese wives are very happy with them (some are even pround of that).
The following is a list of their most common comments (some maybe offensive to white women):
1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.Don't get mad at me, I am just telling what I have heard. I've never married to a J-girl so I can't tell you how true are the above statements.
But one time I went to a restaurant with my Japanese friend who had been married to her American husband for more than three years at the time. We each ordered a boiled lobster. My friend only ate the tail, the head and some of the claws and took the rest of the lobster home to her husband.
When her American husband was eating the lobster, he asked, " Which restaurant did you two go to ? They have very good lobster, lots of meat!" :giggle:
I do not agree with the above do you know all japanese woman ? and american woman?
I think if you end up with a woman you are not compatible with then that is your own fault most of the times .. Most ppl are jumping in and out of bed with everybody before they even know who the person actually is , what he/she stands for , believes , his or her past ,and how they think about things. I dont now the situation in Japan but for me its like "Be yourself "wot you see is wot you get if you do that then there will be no misunderstanding and ppl dont get any suprises later when the masks falls of.

Greetings

Ron

[Derfel]

The funniest thing in my opinion is that american woman can mean pretty much any and every race hehe. So, now which is he talking about? :D

[Han Chan]

The funniest thing in my opinion is that american woman can mean pretty much any and every race hehe. So, now which is he talking about? :D

AMERCAN WOMAN
Lenny Kravitz

Huh!
American woman
Stay away from me
American woman
Mama let me be
Dont come hare hanging around my door
I dont want to see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin old with you
Now woman
Stay away
American woman
Listen what I say

American woman
Get away from me
American woman
Mama let me be
Dont come here knocking around my door
I dont want to see your shadow no more
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone elses eyes
Now woman
Get away
American woman
Listen what I say

Huh!
American woman
I said get way
American woman
Listen what I say
Dont come hanging around my door
Dont want to see your face no more
I dont need your war machines
I dont need your ghetto scenes
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone elses eyes
Now woman
Get away
American woman
Listen what I say

American woman
Get away from me
American woman
Mama let me be
I gotta go
I gotta get away
And I gotta go
I wanna fly away

Im gonna leave you, woman
Im gonna leave you, woman
Im gonna leave you, woman
Im gonna leave you, woman

Bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye

American woman
Youre no good for me
And Im no good for you
American woman
Im looking at you right in the eye
And tell you what Im gonna do
American woman

Im gonna leave you woman
You know I gotta go

Im gonna leave you woman
I gotta go
Iiiiii gotta go
I gotta go american woman yeah

[longtailedmonkey]

AS LONG as the person you marry is human, it doesn't matter whether she is Japanese, Taiwanese or Chinese or Indian or Thai. As long as you can adjust to the unique culture she lives in and she is able to adjust to your unique lifestyle, you'll do fine!

I mean, you don't fall in love with just the looks or the brains. You fall in love with everything. It isn't love if it's only loving one part, if you love, you take everything, the person, the family, the lifestyle, everything, because you love that person.

[alantin]

Sorry for not reading the whole thread and excuse me if someone has already said this but in the past, weren't Japanese women primarily raised to be wifes?

If my memory serves me right most J-women still quit their jobs when they get married..

So I would be shocked if they didn't make good wives, although they might have a different idea of what that means than a western person would..
I think a westerner should do some serious study before marrying a Japanese person. The cultural differences are quite severe..

:bluush:

[Derfel]

if you love, you take everything, the person, the family, the lifestyle, everything, because you love that person.

Ne chance, that ain't gonna work, its more bout the compromises in my opinion, its way more easy not to annoy someone than for him to endure.

[JerseyBoy]

If I am going to marry, I will let the would-be wife to work. I don't want to be a sole bread winner and I consider a marriage as a partnership sharing the jobs and burdens at the same time (so, she gotta work to pitch in the household finance).

In Japan, generally speaking, the would-be husband is supposed to say to his would-be wife that he would make her happy when she marries him. I won't say that as it is not my responsibility to make someone happy. Happiness has to be attained with his or her own will and efforts. Of course, I would contribute to that cause; but, I have no intention making that my own responsibility.

I don't want a kid. So, that may be another turn-off for some Japanese women.

I might go for a pre-nap to make sure I have a warranty in case a marriage turns out to be defective.

I am leaning toward marrying a non-Japanese, if I have an option.

[Damicci]

This thread makes me laugh, i'll be back in 3 years with a reply.

[tokapi]

My Japanese chat pal told me that except for a handful of strong-will career minded professionals,over-whelming majority of married Japanese women still prefer to stay home enjoy comfortable lifestyle.Because of this one particular reason,inter-marriage rate is relatively low & divorce rate is at nearly 50% between Japanese chicks & Western guys if compare to all other Asian nationalities.

[SushiShin]

I don't care what people say about me and what they think, everyone has his/her own idea's and I respect that, so I also want that you do this too.

I like Japanese girls as much as I like other girls.

But the question is : Do Japanese women make good wives?

anwser: simple, if you think you got the right one, then the anwser is yes, if you are doubting about your marriage because she drinks or suicidal etc.... then believe me your relationship won't last long.

It's the person that makes a good husband/wife not the race or the nationality.

[SushiShin]

I think to be honest that any wife makes a good wife only based on these following things:

*Love
*Thrust

if one of these 2 parts is missing then your relationship is at an end, you have to love and thrust each other and then you have nothing to complain.

[deathtrap]

I think to be honest that any wife makes a good wife only based on these following things:
*Love
*Thrust
if one of these 2 parts is missing then your relationship is at an end, you have to love and thrust each other and then you have nothing to complain.

Hah. Awesome typo! Coincidentally that's how I think. You need love, trust, and thrust baby! ;)

[Mikawa Ossan]

*Thrust

I thought that was the man's responsibility in your standard mariage! :p

[leonmarino]

I thought that was the man's responsibility in your standard mariage! :pBwahahaha!! :D

Long time no see Ossan-san!! :-)

[SushiShin]

I thought that was the man's responsibility in your standard mariage! :p

Lol, indeed! But there are some other factors that you need too, if you understand what I mean:relief:

[LateNight~*]

I can only tell you what I've seen.
My Canadian and American white friends who have Japanese wives are very happy with them (some are even pround of that).
The following is a list of their most common comments (some maybe offensive to white women):
1. Japanese women don't get fat like American women.
2. Japanese women may not do all the housework but at least they cook. American women watch soap opera and serve hot-dogs with chips from Lays.
3. As much as Japanese women like shopping. They always put their kids and husbands first.
4. My J-wife rarely raises her voice at me like my ex-wife did.
5. My J-wife doesn't complain when I have to travel away because of work. She understands that the man has to earn a living.
Don't get mad at me, I am just telling what I have heard. I've never married to a J-girl so I can't tell you how true are the above statements.
But one time I went to a restaurant with my Japanese friend who had been married to her American husband for more than three years at the time. We each ordered a boiled lobster. My friend only ate the tail, the head and some of the claws and took the rest of the lobster home to her husband.
When her American husband was eating the lobster, he asked, " Which restaurant did you two go to ? They have very good lobster, lots of meat!" :giggle:
Oh my God! I'm wayyyy too feminist 2 be a good housewife. I literally wanted to jump thru the screen and punch the guys who stated those comments. :box:
There are many cultures that have the "perfect" wife according to some men not only Japanese. Mexicans, Indians, any latino race 2 be honest, etc. etc. However, these countries also are seen as oppressive when it comes to a woman's role in the family. There is quite a correlation between the two.
I'm Mexican but I was raised in the U.S. so I'm the complete opposite of the "perfect" housewife. My mom hates that about me. I don't cook very well, I don't clean, and I don't take care of my older brother when she's away (like feeding him, cleaning his room, washing his clothes, etc.). Let me just say this 2: my brother is 28.
Yeah I can c the feminist rising in some of you. :wave: Welcome to my world.

[maushan3]

There are many cultures that have the "perfect" wife according to some men not only Japanese. Mexicans, Indians, any latino race 2 be honest, etc. etc. However, these countries also are seen as oppressive when it comes to a woman's role in the family. There is quite a correlation between the two.
I'm Mexican but I was raised in the U.S. so I'm the complete opposite of the "perfect" housewife. My mom hates that about me. I don't cook very well, I don't clean, and I don't take care of my older brother when she's away (like feeding him, cleaning his room, washing his clothes, etc.). Let me just say this 2: my brother is 28.
Yeah I can c the feminist rising in some of you. :wave: Welcome to my world.

I don't know if you know about Mexico nowadays, at least modern-middle-high class Mexicans are seriously changing this pattern over the years. Now, it is the same ratio of female/male population going to university which means that most probably both husband and wife will be going to work, hence the same thing that emerged in America decades ago.

Wifes in Japan, well, they might go to university, but most women will wind up as housewive anyways.

Mauricio

[Han Chan]

I literally wanted to jump thru the screen and punch the guys who stated those comments. :box:

I understand why you can get upset at those pathetic male-chauvinists. I merely feel sory for such guys, because the only relation they will ever be able to have with any women, will be when to actually pay for it!

Men who do not respect women are not men.

[LateNight~*]

I don't know if you know about Mexico nowadays, at least modern-middle-high class Mexicans are seriously changing this pattern over the years. Now, it is the same ratio of female/male population going to university which means that most probably both husband and wife will be going to work, hence the same thing that emerged in America decades ago.
Wifes in Japan, well, they might go to university, but most women will wind up as housewive anyways.
Mauricio

I should know about Mexicans. I visit every year (I've been going for the past 10 years or more). And I do agree that the woman's role is changing. Heck they were thinking Vicente Fox's wife was going to run for president for a while. But then again, these are the upper crust of Mexico, the more educated public.

However, I also know the modern-lower-class Mexicans who are still stuck in traditions. They are still passing the same male-chauvinist ways to their children. I've seen my own family do it. Mexico is changing but it'll sure be awhile...

[Derfel]

I understand why you can get upset at those pathetic male-chauvinists. I merely feel sory for such guys, because the only relation they will ever be able to have with any women, will be when to actually pay for it!
Men who do not respect women are not men.

Although I don't have a reason to disagree with this, but its so awfully cliché lol. I've had this Order of the Garter flash this instant :D

[SushiShin]

I like Japanese girls...
I still don't know why.
Is it because of the language? the cute faces? the cute voices? their lenght?

I would be happy if my wife would be japanese

[Derfel]

Been stated several times, we know you love them.

[SushiShin]

Been stated several times, we know you love them.

just checking that you won't forget it and that the whole thread is just a way of express your feelings towards japanese women.

There are different people and they have their own goals and idea's please respect them.:cool:

[Derfel]

Don't get me wrong, I don't disrespect it or anything, I just stated that you have stated it multiple times. Its a fact, I never said it meant something good or bad.

[MadamePapillon]

I like Japanese girls...
I still don't know why.
Is it because of the language? the cute faces? the cute voices? their lenght?
I would be happy if my wife would be japanese

Maybe what you really want is a cute, fluffy little kitten that speaks japanese.

A wife is a lot more than a big bundle of cute. :blush:

I think you're in love with a fantasy, not an actual woman....or girl. When I hear excessive use of the word 'cute' I think girl, as opposed to women who I think of more in terms of sexy/sensual.
But that's a whole 'nother discussion.

[miu]

I think it's worth considering culture differences also: if someone is quiet, it doesn't mean that s/he's 100% fine with everything you do. I seriously doubt Japanese woman are just all cute and fluffy :blush:

[SushiShin]

To love them or love them not that is the question.
Are they good wives or aren't they good wives that is the question.

And there is only one anwser.

What I think?
Well my time has still have to come, to find a descent Japanese girlfriend.

[nice gaijin]

Are they good wives or aren't they good wives that is the question.
And there is only one anwser.
Funny, I thought there was more than one Japanese woman in the world.

[ghost writer]

For someone to have to ask this question says a lot. 1.) You've never dated an Asian women. 2.) You don't have any Asians in your circle of friends to figure out the answer on your own. I would think any women would make a good wife regardless of race. Depending of course on how compatable the two of you are together. I believe in opposites attrack but too much of a difference could be harmful. I always say... "We have enough in common to bring us together and enough differences to keep it interesting".

Good topic though....

Ghost...

http: // musicmob. blogspot. com

[nepaltreksguide]

I'm interested in a Japanese woman, and, if things ever head in the direction of marriage, I'd like to know what I might be getting in for because I know very little about Japanese culture (something I'm trying to change). I'd appreciate the wisdom of anyone who might have some information on the subject. Thanks.
me too like japanese girl for married.
ashok

[bruno]

...not for bad, brainless gaijins !!
( happy even after 25 years with my tsuma !!):-)

[donixa]

I love JP girls & womans !!

[orochi]

I sure hope mine does.

[tarutau]

looks like i might actually know that pandabeardragon and if so dude sorry about the emails and be sure they were purely nice. if idont know you all the better. but yeah had a situation happen like that were an ex of mine married this guy and we kept emailing eachother. she wanted an objective opinion on what to do and how to assimilate into the american culture. purely friendly talk. so dont judge such things so quickly. ask and learn first.

[MadamePapillon]

I can't believe this thread is still alive o_O

[Sensationalist]

Oh my God! I'm wayyyy too feminist 2 be a good housewife. I literally wanted to jump thru the screen and punch the guys who stated those comments. :box:
There are many cultures that have the "perfect" wife according to some men not only Japanese. Mexicans, Indians, any latino race 2 be honest, etc. etc. However, these countries also are seen as oppressive when it comes to a woman's role in the family. There is quite a correlation between the two.
I'm Mexican but I was raised in the U.S. so I'm the complete opposite of the "perfect" housewife. My mom hates that about me. I don't cook very well, I don't clean, and I don't take care of my older brother when she's away (like feeding him, cleaning his room, washing his clothes, etc.). Let me just say this 2: my brother is 28.
Yeah I can c the feminist rising in some of you. :wave: Welcome to my world.

Latenight, It's time for you to go to bed with those theories.

If you were the bread winner and you earned enough to support the both of you(husband), and the two of you decided that HE was going to be a house husband then wouldn't you expect him to be able to do simple household chores like cooking and cleaning. It's called common sense Latenight, and it has nothing to do with being a feminazi ! If you lack the simple ability of knowing how to cook and clean then it's sheer laziness on your part - anybody can and should learn those things.

[scorpion da black]

i want to end up with a Japanese girl..i sure hope they make good wives :(

i want to search for a village girl who is learning kendo..and we can bring up samurai kids :p

[theAlphaDuck]

hmm ok don't express too much of an opinion eh?
:souka:
please let me re-phrase
before getting involved with ANYONE from ANY other country it is worth taking into account the culture that person is from.
in SOME cultures....let's say for arguments sake France... it is perfectly normal for a man to have a wife and a mistress, infact they even say in France
"If you marry your mistress you create a vacancy"
so before getting invloved with a girl from ANY other culture...
be sure to take a nice and CLOSE look as to certain issues...i.e. (and randomly chosen)
say INFIDELITY.
......find out if this IS NORMAL or not.
but of course it must be said that while IN 95% OF CASES
it could be one or the other, you cant tar all with the same brush. TRUE today as it was and will be.
as for crazyness....
some argue that it CAN BE determined by culture,
and it is said SOME will show MORE EXTREME personalities. but this is only a reflection on manifestation as aposed to any indication of actual levels of mental health in the general public and thus the word 'some' is underlined.
But once again one can't tar all with the same brush
thus one could not draw upon any ready conclutions regarding this matter
it is important to know...
and i draw this from MY OWN EXPERIENCE...
e.g. that often SELF HARMING can be used as a FORM OF CONTROL
thought it is not necessary that it WILL GET WORSE
however it may well be prudent in certain cases to LOSS IT
if someone you are with starts displaying extreme behavior.
you are a boyfriend/husband...not her therapist!
i had other things to say....
but must get back to my book...
it's called 1984....you REALLY should read it some time :okashii:
there was more but yea.... WHAT CAN I SAY?
PEACE and GOOD LUCK!!!

[Emoni]

I like how a majority of people run for Japanese women always think of everything as a generality, and that everything is under the top key point of "hotness" with everything else being a far second.

[Mike Cash]

I like how a majority of people run for Japanese women always think of everything as a generality, and that everything is under the top key point of "hotness" with everything else being a far second.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

If all the young guys who have the hots to marry a Japanese women could be a fly on the wall when guys who have actually been married to Japanese women for a long time were sitting around talking frankly....they would run to Narita as fast as their little feet would take them.

A wise man, once remarked something to the effect that Japanese women look great on the showroom floor but marry one and she depreciates faster than a Cadillac.

[uchimizu]

I beg to disagree about men in France generally having a wife and a mistress.

hmm ok don't express too much of an opinion eh?
:souka:
please let me re-phrase
before getting involved with ANYONE from ANY other country it is worth taking into account the culture that person is from.
in SOME cultures....let's say for arguments sake France... it is perfectly normal for a man to have a wife and a mistress, infact they even say in France
"If you marry your mistress you create a vacancy"


I believe that if we went to a japanese forum for ladies, there would be a "international wedding" section with comments mirroring yours about the yound japanese girls wishing to marry an anglo-saxon foreigner, and who would better listen to the advices of ladies who went through it...

I'll let you in on a little secret.
If all the young guys who have the hots to marry a Japanese women could be a fly on the wall when guys who have actually been married to Japanese women for a long time were sitting around talking frankly....they would run to Narita as fast as their little feet would take them.
A wise man, once remarked something to the effect that Japanese women look great on the showroom floor but marry one and she depreciates faster than a Cadillac.

[orochi]

So far so good.

bla bla bla bla

[theAlphaDuck]

Diversity is there to be celebrated
There is NO right...and there is NO wrong!
There is only different.
But there is also a common theme that runs through ALL humanity.
Women tend to put thier men first in EVERY country in the world...
and FEMENISTS don't...from all over the world...
(tho it was quite funny to hear Germain Grear, the mother of Feminism, say that she had to choose between feminism and a happy marriage....and chose a happy marriage :P )
women are women the WORLD over...
but the culture they are from does make a difference...
and yes i would agree with the caddilac guy....
tho i will add that while 99% of caddy's may be worthless...
if you are LUCKY enough to find the one that once belonged to elvis and has his unreleased album in the glove box...then your on to a winner.
really it's about how you handle your woman...regardless of where she is from.
as for the french thing....
that's true as the sky is blue....
its not wrong....
it's just different...

[Emoni]

I'll let you in on a little secret.
If all the young guys who have the hots to marry a Japanese women could be a fly on the wall when guys who have actually been married to Japanese women for a long time were sitting around talking frankly....they would run to Narita as fast as their little feet would take them.
A wise man, once remarked something to the effect that Japanese women look great on the showroom floor but marry one and she depreciates faster than a Cadillac.

After only two years in Japan and seeing the women around me, I have to say I can agree here. Although I'll say my view is simple that finding a good woman, like finding good people, is damn rare. People suck every where in the world, and throwing in some "cultural differences" (using this word very LAX) and you have a disaster usually.

[alantin]

Although I'll say my view is simple that finding a good woman, like finding good people, is damn rare. People suck every where in the world..

Well.. That's cheerfull..

[nice gaijin]

You know you're being morose when the Finns are remarking on your pessimism!

[alantin]

Hmm.. Thanks!

I guess..


He is doing good!
Keep up the good work! :cool:

[KirinMan]

I'll let you in on a little secret.
If all the young guys who have the hots to marry a Japanese women could be a fly on the wall when guys who have actually been married to Japanese women for a long time were sitting around talking frankly....they would run to Narita as fast as their little feet would take them.
A wise man, once remarked something to the effect that Japanese women look great on the showroom floor but marry one and she depreciates faster than a Cadillac.

Lol here! It's sad to me in a way that guys get hooked on a "nationality" and an "image" and dont take enough time to care about the "woman".
We marry the woman and not the country.

Personally my wife is more like a Suzuki Lupin, small and sexy, but with plenty of kick in her turbo.

Fortunately she never took the "busu" or "debu" pill that seems to get passed around at 30 to many married women here.

[FrustratedDave]

We marry the woman and not the country.
Personally my wife is more like a Suzuki Lupin, small and sexy, but with plenty of kick in her turbo.
Fortunately she never took the "busu" or "debu" pill that seems to get passed around at 30 to many married women here.
LOL.

Mine is like a porsche, looks good but is difficult to drive, complains a lot and regulary breaks down.

[Emoni]

You know you're being morose when the Finns are remarking on your pessimism!

:cool:

Well, there really isn't too many deep places this thread can go other than stressing generalities don't work well, or defining those generalities through statistics and claiming they do.