What do you think about Japanese in your countries?

[momo]

Lately I hear often my friends(non-Japanese) say to me like,
"you're different from all the Japanese I met here"
Which I don't understand, because I believe that i am normal. I try to talk to other japanese student, however, I get the impression that they don't really want to talk. When they do talk, they talk for a bit, and cut it short. Do you feel the difference between Japanese people in America, and Japanese that are in Japan? I feel there is a difference. Do you guys feel that Japanese people in America is different, or that I am different???

[mdchachi]

It sounds like you're pretty outgoing. Most Japanese are pretty shy especially with strangers or people they don't know well. So in that sense, you seem more American-teki. Additionally, I think the Japanese that are living overseas tend to have a wider view of the world and are more adventurous.

[momo]

Originally posted by mdchachi
Additionally, I think the Japanese that are living overseas tend to have a wider view of the world and are more adventurous.

I thought so, too before I met Japanese people here in USA. I thought it would be fun to make Japanese friends here since we have a similar interest and we came from the same country, but I felt they were more friendly to non-Japanese. It seems to me seeing other Japanese is a little annoying to them. For that reason, I hardly have Japanese friends here.

[kirei_na_me]

Hello momo!

It seems to me seeing other Japanese is a little annoying to them.

I have also noticed what you are talking about. My husband(who is Japanese) seems to think that college age kids from Japan that are going to school in the U.S. (generally speaking)only care about status, and therefore, want to surround themselves with Americans. As he says, since Japanese people in general think that anything American or Western is way cool, they will seize the opportunity to go all out American/Western and will sometimes seemingly deny that they are Japanese. He went into this whole huge explanation of why he thought that happened, but I'm not going to bore everyone with the details. Does that make any sense, though? I hope my words aren't too confusing.

Also, I have a mailing list for American/Western women who are married to Japanese men, and this discussion was brought up there not too long ago too. Some of the women were saying their husbands didn't like socializing with other Japanese people because of so much pressure to act a certain way. Their husbands felt like they could be themselves around Westerners, but felt like they had to put on an act around the Japanese. They had to be very careful which words to use, which gestures, which faces to use, etc. around Japanese people. Those were men in their 30's and 40's, though. My husband seems to think that way of thinking doesn't hold true for the average college age Japanese person.

And please don't worry about it. As mdchachi pointed out, you seem like a very outgoing person. You should be able to make lots of other friends!

[naho]

Momo-san

I've also been through the same experience you had. Which is...I think it is very unfortunate, if you think the chance you meet a Japanese in the U.S. Especially in my case, I live in Mid-west U.S. where I first believed I would rarely see Japanese. And in deed, compare to big cities like SF, LA, or NYC, there are a few Japanese live in this town. And as you mentioned, I cannot help noticing that there are Japanese who don't want to hang out with other Japanese. I also notice that the tendency can be seen especially the students who are here as an exchange student, in another word, who can spend only a year or so in this country. I often offered ride to go to shopping etc...but they even don't say Hi, next time I see them. Too bad. There might be another way of think about their behavior...(one of my friend mentioned to me) They might want to speak English as much as they can to improve their English ability. But if they afraid of speaking Japanese for a few hours make stop their progress, they are wrong.

Anyhow, you may meet some Japanese future without trying. I mean...after all, you cannot try too hard to find a person you can get along. Besides, it might be a good idea to start hang out with students from other Asian nations. I got great friendship with them and still keep in touch with them after we graduate from the school. You will learn great deal of stuff from them and will surprise how our culture (especially FOOD!) is similar.

[Atsukan]

Originally posted by naho
Momo-san

I often offered ride to go to shopping etc...but they even don't say Hi, next time I see them. Too bad. There might be another way of think about their behavior...(one of my friend mentioned to me) They might want to speak English as much as they can to improve their English ability. But if they afraid of speaking Japanese for a few hours make stop their progress, they are wrong.

Besides, it might be a good idea to start hang out with students from other Asian nations. I got great friendship with them and still keep in touch with them after we graduate from the school. You will learn great deal of stuff from them and will surprise how our culture (especially FOOD!) is similar.

That's just plain wrong to not even acknowledge or say "hi" to someone who just offered you a ride the day before. That's such bad manners. But they're not in their own country and trying to get away with what they can, IMO.

I think it's a good idea too to recommend becoming friends with other Asians and perhaps even other nations of people.

Naho, you seem like such a nice person to offer a ride to the store.

Momo, I just got done reading your post in the "Nihongo Cabinet" as well about your experiences over there. All I have to say is that I'm really sorry for what you have gone through so far. It seems like you're having such a hard time. I hope you can find some nice people over there that will give you some support. gannbattene!

[Mandylion]

I get the same thing in Japan as you get in the US, native people telling me I am not like the other foreigners they have met. Also there are folks (westerners) here who don't want to say hi or have much to do with you because you are not Japanese. I don't know if it is also a status thing like some people mentioned, but many think it has to do with language, or something lately termed the "get out of my Japan" syndrome. Basically, people feel threatened or some how think the quality of their experience is diminished by associating too closely with other westerners. I wonder if the same holds true for some Japanese folks in the US?

Momo and Naho, it seems like you are using your time well. Keep it up and you should have made a lot of good friends! Don’t worry about being called different in relation to your behavior. You have a great opportunity to show Americans that Japanese people come in as many different shapes and flavors as they do. Every country seems to think everyone who is not one of them is stamped from the same mold.

[momo]

Thank you very much for all the replies. ;)
Since I'm pretty positive and outgoing (like some of you could tell), I have enough friends to hang out and have fun with, so I'm not really being lonely or sad about this matter. However, I feel very strange about these people.. because:
- they ignore Japanese in unfriendly way who they don't know well even though you were nice to them.
- they have a lot of Japanese friends and usually hang out with them all the time.

They don't want to hang out with other Japanese just because they want to improve their English.. if that's what they really want to do, I think they would stop hanging out with other Japanese from the first place or speak English even to their Japanese friends. I don't know what they are trying to do really.. just make me feel bad, because they don't have good manners to nice Japanese who are helping them, like Naho-san. :P I understand how Naho-san feels, because I had a similar experience, too. They are just rude~.

Fortunately, all my friends in Japan are very friendly and nice, so I was kind of surprised at Japanese people I met here... very interesting..

[Jent]

That's really strange. I don't understand why people would do that ( well, I guess I can kind of see it, but it seems like such ... a strange way to act) ...
I didn't know that Japanese thought that American/Western stuff is so cool. Bleh.. I've grown up in America my whole life and I think that we are far from cool. But that's a cultural difference I guess.

[naho]

Jent>>I believe that the idea of American/Western being cool is way too much western media expose we have in Japan. We get more movies from Hollywood, which often portrate "white" as cool people, than from any other places. Besides, it is funny to see that even just ads for department stores sale often have white models rather than Asian model (I used to think this trend only take place in Japan but I found it's same way in China, as well) It is very wired many Asian girls want to have "whiter" skin even they actually breach them (Japanese girls..."whitening" cosmetics are another way of saying "let's breach your skin...") and white girls want to get taned. Funny funny funny. I guess people sometimes want to have something they don't have, don't they?

[arnadstephen]

The tourist tend to travel in group tours. Group tours tend to be on a schedule so they are always rushing.


The Japanese I have met, seem a little uneasy about United-States with the impression that crime rate here is scary.

I am sure coming from Japan, images of the violent crime in United States is a factor



If I see a couple travelling alone, they seemed suprised
if I try to ask questions about Japan. But realize;
_a) their English maybe not so good
_b) maybe their Korean !

NOTE: I cannot tell by looking at someone if they are; Korean, or Japanese. Sometimes I can, sometimes I cannot !

[naho]

Jent>>Sorry. In my previous post I ment that I believe "western is cool" image is "FROM" too much American media expose. ...After all English is not my first language. Forgive me.

[Maciamo]

Originally posted by arnadstephen

The Japanese I have met, seem a little uneasy about United-States with the impression that crime rate here is scary.

I am sure coming from Japan, images of the violent crime in United States is a factor

I think it's not only Japanese who see the States as a violent, crime-ridden country. That's exactly the image lot's of Europeans have of them too, especially for big cities like NY, LA, Chicago, Detroit, Miami... However, few people have any clue that Washington DC is actually one of the worst. I've heard that the situation in New Yrok has improved over the pst years, but I used to be told that even taxis didn't want to go to some areas (Bronx ?) because it's too dangerous.

Security is the States is even a concern for me who has travelled alone to places like Cambodia or Israel. I am as scared as Japanese to go to places like L.A. after all I've heard.

[thomas]

In all fairness, I have spent three weeks in Washington DC and found it to be a safe place (as long as you refrained from entering certain neighbourhoods). I was even riding the metro or local trains by night, wasn't bothered or mugged once. Perhaps I was lucky, but my nightly experiences with public transportation in Paris for instance are far worse.

[kirei_na_me]

In regards to violence in America, yes, it can be extremely violent, but it depends on where you are. One just can't say that the entire United States is violent. I have been to NYC and D.C. many times, and even though they claim to be really violent, I have never had any bad experiences there, nor have I known anyone to have a bad experience in those places. As thomas said, you have to know where you're going. You have to know where they bad areas are and avoid them. Isn't it like that everywhere?

I mean, even though the United States is a pistol-toting country(*cringe*), not everyone is walking around with guns ready to mow you down. Of course, if the guns were regulated as they should be, it would be a lot less crime...but that's another discussion...

[naho]

I agree both Thomas and Kirei na Me. You just need to know where you can be and where you shouldn't be. Like the place, Waco (TX) and Detroit (MI), I spent quite somtimes, there are place you probably shouldn't park "brand-new" car on the street. But again, it's reall depend on the location. In my experience, the big cities (also famous cities) like LA, NYC, Chicago, are not as dangerous as they were portrated in the movies. Of course, there are some places you'd better not to go unless you know the area but you can ride public transportation without indanger your life. I always ride L-train (public transportation in Chicago) whenever I need to go to Downtown area since parking is extremely expensive there. After all big city is big because many people, including non-violent people, live there. It is unfortunate that you have to be a little extra careful about your safety, but once you get used to be around the area, it's same as all other countries. You probably have higher chance of getting involved in car accident than crime.

[arnadstephen]

That's exactly the image lot's of Europeans have of them too, especially for big cities like NY, LA, Chicago, Detroit, Miami... However, few people have any clue that Washington DC is actually one of the worst

Crime has gotten less in United-States, and more in Europe.


Japan should be proud of its low crime rate !

[Atsukan]

Originally posted by arnadstephen

If I see a couple travelling alone, they seemed suprised
if I try to ask questions about Japan. But realize;
_a) their English maybe not so good
_b) maybe their Korean !

NOTE: I cannot tell by looking at someone if they are; Korean, or Japanese. Sometimes I can, sometimes I cannot !

Also, the Japanese aren't used to people suddenly coming up to them and asking them questions. That might be another reason they are so suprised, imo.

[psj0930]

Japanese are normally well-mannered but
they don't like open their heart, I think.

Whatever, having a good manner in public is a good thing.

[Musashi]

Concerning crime in the US, I know it's a bit off-topic, but I'd like to recommend Michael Moores 'Bowling for Columbine', it is highly interesting!

[joshua dearing]

In the USA the most Japanese people can be found in Los Angeles.. thats where I live... I have a few Japanese friends here and in Japan. Everyone seems the same to me but I am lover of Japan so that helps.

"Bowling for Columbine'" is simply a big lie... there are a lot of website now documenting how much of a fiction movie it is.. actually there is a campaign to remove its oscar since its not really a documentary.

[noyhauser]

Originally posted by arnadstephen
Crime has gotten less in United-States, and more in Europe.


Japan should be proud of its low crime rate !

???

Ummm according to current statistics the United States crime is increasing as well as in Britain, but it has remained steady in most European nations... (except maybe Germany)

I can give you hard statistics if you want.

mooka