Wacky English-teaching Stories

Buntaro · Jan 1, 2004, 00:18

Does anyone out there have any wacky stories that they can tell, about the sometimes bizarre experience called being an English teacher in Japan?

I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed!

Ewok85 · Jan 1, 2004, 16:57

Hmm, wacky... we have this one guy at my school (im a student, but i still help teach alot) who speaks barely any english but "do you want a blowjob?" "**** me in the ***" and "stiffy!". Kinda hard to concentrate and talk to a japanese teacher when hes behind you doing his bit.

thereisnospoon · Jan 2, 2004, 01:21

I am soon to be (I hope) a qualifed TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) teacher if I pass, so I'm sure I will get a few 'unusual' lessons.

Anybody remember the Monty Python sketch The Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook - a classic case of dodgy English,

Seppuku · Jan 2, 2004, 05:29

Originally posted by Buntaro

I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed!

i dont get whats so wacky about that

neko_girl22 · Jan 2, 2004, 11:04

I haven't any wacky stories really, but it always amuses me that Japanese can't understand what exactly are swear words and when and when not to use them. so, it gives me a chuckle to hear, for example ,conservative Grandma's coming out with language colourful enough to make anyone blush!

Ewok85 · Jan 2, 2004, 16:53

The younger kids know all too well what the swear words are, and i know my share of japanese ones. This is kinda related, the same kid as above used to go up to the female ALT's and saw things in japanese and get them to repeat it. Wasnt until she was about to leave she found out he had been teacher the name of japanese porn stars, better yet she had remembered just about all of them! :P

nihonjintaylor · Jan 4, 2004, 22:48

Hmm....

in one of my classes the other day
we were talking about boy various things and this one girl kept answering the questions for her friend. So I asked her if she knew who her friend liked... and she is like

Rabbit!

everyone laughed....

woot. eh hem...

yeah...

Buntaro · Jan 5, 2004, 00:29

One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that....

**Uncle Frank** · Jan 5, 2004, 07:24

My first week in Japan and first time off base, I started to flirt with a beautiful girl greeting at a department store entrance. She took a break to talk to me and I was thrilled at the attention. She wanted to know if I would come talk at her English night school. I explained I was terrible at spelling and grammar but she really wanted me to go. So I said start dating me and I'll teach for free.
The first date I picked her up and she had a knited dress with 1/2 inch holes and a leotard under it. I made a joke about her wearing the dress with nothing on under it would look great, JOKING !
The next week I went to pick her up, and she meets me at the door with the knit dress, nude underneath !! Jeezzz, my eyeballs fell out of my head. And she insists on being ready to go out with me. I was so embarassed, I made her go change. I could not believe she would go out in public like that. I always wondered if she were testing me or if she would have gone out in public like that. Her attitude about having sex was like Americans attitude towards kissing, NO BIG DEAL!! Maybe she just wanted to make sure I kept coming to her class ??

Frank

Old School · Jan 5, 2004, 11:33

Originally posted by Buntaro
One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that....

Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post).

Could you elaborate?

Maciamo · Jan 5, 2004, 11:39

Originally posted by Old School
Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post).

Could you elaborate?

"Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen.

**Uncle Frank** · Jan 5, 2004, 11:39

You wouldn't be Josh From Gettocities sneaking in with a new name by any chance ??

Frank

Old School · Jan 5, 2004, 12:56

Originally posted by Maciamo
"Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen.

Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it...

beluga · Jan 5, 2004, 14:15

Originally posted by Old School
Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it...

hee hee.... I suppose it's a direct translation of "hou ga"

Ayumi-chan · Jan 6, 2004, 00:55

My Japanese friend hates this certain girl we know and she is always asking me something like, "Is it alright if I say that she is stupid? I really am hating her and it is truth."

Zero-sen · Jan 13, 2004, 23:34

Giving a reply like "charmed i'm sure" is the sort of thing you'd say if you're being sarcastic or the other person hasn't made a good impression on you. It can, used in the right context be taken as a major insult.

mad pierrot · Jan 14, 2004, 20:02

True story:

Imagine getting kicked by a little Japanes kid. You turn angrily turn around and ask the kid what he is doing. He responds, in clear English,

"Have some kick."

Buntaro · Jan 15, 2004, 07:27

True story:

I was walking down the street in Kyoto one day, and two little Japanese kids saw me. One said (in Japanese), "Look, an American! Gee, I wonder if he speaks Japanese...."

Jan 1, 2004, 00:18	#1
Buntaro 運動不足 Join Date: Dec 27, 2003 Location: Westmorland, California, USA Posts: 802	Wacky English-teaching Stories Does anyone out there have any wacky stories that they can tell, about the sometimes bizarre experience called being an English teacher in Japan? I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed! __________________ Tada yori, takai mono wa nai. "There is no such thing as a free lunch."

Jan 1, 2004, 16:57	#2
Ewok85 Cute and Furry Join Date: Nov 14, 2003 Location: Saitama/Tokyo Age: 24 Posts: 2,343	Hmm, wacky... we have this one guy at my school (im a student, but i still help teach alot) who speaks barely any english but "do you want a blowjob?" "** me in the " and "stiffy!". Kinda hard to concentrate and talk to a japanese teacher when hes behind you doing his bit. __________________ Leon - http://www.leonjp.com* Expat Japan! - http://forums.expatjapan.net 半ばは自己の幸せを、半ばは他人の幸せを

Jan 2, 2004, 01:21	#3
thereisnospoon Baka Gaijin Join Date: Nov 10, 2003 Location: Inside the Matrix Age: 37 Posts: 136	I am soon to be (I hope) a qualifed TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) teacher if I pass, so I'm sure I will get a few 'unusual' lessons. Anybody remember the Monty Python sketch The Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook - a classic case of dodgy English, __________________ Japanese Weather Forecasting

Jan 2, 2004, 05:29	#4
Seppuku Regular Member Join Date: Aug 26, 2003 Location: North-East Age: 26 Posts: 82	Re: Wacky English-teaching Stories Originally posted by Buntaro I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed! i dont get whats so wacky about that __________________ "support music not rumers"-C.S. "メタル魂を　忘れるな！"-Chuck Schuldiner 67-01R.I.P. "No one can tell you to turn down your amp unless they're of higher skill or in your band"

Jan 4, 2004, 22:48	#7
nihonjintaylor Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2, 2004 Location: Gunma, Japan Age: 25 Posts: 38	Hmm.... in one of my classes the other day we were talking about boy various things and this one girl kept answering the questions for her friend. So I asked her if she knew who her friend liked... and she is like Rabbit! everyone laughed.... woot. eh hem... yeah... __________________ For those of you who want to learn Japanese... I'm starting a tutoring service... so if you want to learn~ then by all means... please take it~ you can download the trial lessons here... Trial lessons and you can find more info about them at my site~ I hope you enjoy~~~

Jan 2, 2004, 11:04	#5
neko_girl22 Regular Member Join Date: May 14, 2003 Posts: 459	I haven't any wacky stories really, but it always amuses me that Japanese can't understand what exactly are swear words and when and when not to use them. so, it gives me a chuckle to hear, for example ,conservative Grandma's coming out with language colourful enough to make anyone blush!

Jan 2, 2004, 16:53	#6
Ewok85 Cute and Furry Join Date: Nov 14, 2003 Location: Saitama/Tokyo Age: 24 Posts: 2,343	The younger kids know all too well what the swear words are, and i know my share of japanese ones. This is kinda related, the same kid as above used to go up to the female ALT's and saw things in japanese and get them to repeat it. Wasnt until she was about to leave she found out he had been teacher the name of japanese porn stars, better yet she had remembered just about all of them! :P

Jan 5, 2004, 00:29	#8
Buntaro 運動不足 Join Date: Dec 27, 2003 Location: Westmorland, California, USA Posts: 802	One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that....

Jan 5, 2004, 07:24	#9
Uncle Frank You SPAM/We BAN ! Join Date: May 21, 2003 Location: State of Maine Age: 59 Posts: 6,715	I don't know why ?? My first week in Japan and first time off base, I started to flirt with a beautiful girl greeting at a department store entrance. She took a break to talk to me and I was thrilled at the attention. She wanted to know if I would come talk at her English night school. I explained I was terrible at spelling and grammar but she really wanted me to go. So I said start dating me and I'll teach for free. The first date I picked her up and she had a knited dress with 1/2 inch holes and a leotard under it. I made a joke about her wearing the dress with nothing on under it would look great, JOKING ! The next week I went to pick her up, and she meets me at the door with the knit dress, nude underneath !! Jeezzz, my eyeballs fell out of my head. And she insists on being ready to go out with me. I was so embarassed, I made her go change. I could not believe she would go out in public like that. I always wondered if she were testing me or if she would have gone out in public like that. Her attitude about having sex was like Americans attitude towards kissing, NO BIG DEAL!! Maybe she just wanted to make sure I kept coming to her class ?? Frank

Jan 5, 2004, 11:33	#10
Old School Regular Member Join Date: Sep 24, 2003 Location: Merkin Posts: 64	Originally posted by Buntaro One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that.... Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post). Could you elaborate? __________________ When you least expect it - I will destroy you!

Jan 5, 2004, 11:39	#11
Maciamo Decommissioned ex-admin Join Date: Jul 17, 2002 Location: Austrasia Posts: 6,647	Originally posted by Old School Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post). Could you elaborate? "Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen. __________________ Over 100 destinations in the Japan Sightseeing Guide + detailed Tokyo Guide and Kyoto Guide Eupedia : Your Guide to Europe in English Read the "Maciamo FAQ" "What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?", Winston Churchill.

Jan 5, 2004, 11:39	#12
Uncle Frank You SPAM/We BAN ! Join Date: May 21, 2003 Location: State of Maine Age: 59 Posts: 6,715	Your secret identity ??? You wouldn't be Josh From Gettocities sneaking in with a new name by any chance ?? Frank

Jan 5, 2004, 12:56	#13
Old School Regular Member Join Date: Sep 24, 2003 Location: Merkin Posts: 64	Originally posted by Maciamo "Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen. Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it...

Jan 5, 2004, 14:15	#14
beluga Regular Member Join Date: Nov 10, 2003 Location: Singapore Age: 35 Posts: 152	Originally posted by Old School Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it... hee hee.... I suppose it's a direct translation of "hou ga"

Jan 6, 2004, 00:55	#15
Ayumi-chan Junior Member Join Date: Jan 5, 2004 Location: I live in America. I am Italian, German, and French Age: 20 Posts: 15	My Japanese friend hates this certain girl we know and she is always asking me something like, "Is it alright if I say that she is stupid? I really am hating her and it is truth."

Jan 13, 2004, 23:34	#16
Zero-sen Regular Member Join Date: Dec 20, 2003 Age: 32 Posts: 63	Giving a reply like "charmed i'm sure" is the sort of thing you'd say if you're being sarcastic or the other person hasn't made a good impression on you. It can, used in the right context be taken as a major insult.

Jan 14, 2004, 20:02	#17
mad pierrot I jump to conclusions Join Date: Nov 22, 2003 Location: The world via Chi-town Age: 28 Posts: 1,333	True story: Imagine getting kicked by a little Japanes kid. You turn angrily turn around and ask the kid what he is doing. He responds, in clear English, "Have some kick."

Jan 15, 2004, 07:27	#18
Buntaro 運動不足 Join Date: Dec 27, 2003 Location: Westmorland, California, USA Posts: 802	True story: I was walking down the street in Kyoto one day, and two little Japanese kids saw me. One said (in Japanese), "Look, an American! Gee, I wonder if he speaks Japanese...."

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