Japan Forum
About JREF | Contact Us | JREF Shop | Topsites | Advertising | Sitemap | Help
Site NavigationJREF Top > Japan Forum

Go Back   Japan Forum > Nihongo Forum > Learning Japanese > Grammar & Sentences
Tokyo Thanksgiving Party, November 28! border=

Grammar & Sentences Grammatical questions and sentence translations.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Mar 10, 2004, 17:56   #1
Cryon
Junior Member
 
Cryon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 9, 2004
Posts: 2
Cryon is quite nice
Residing in
Cool First & small japanese text. Can you help me to correct this?

Hi All!

Let me introduce myself
I am studying Japanese about 6 month, I did not take the JLPT never, but I am thinking about it. I have a teacher, but my school's group is very slow... so, I decided to write my first small text here Please, correct me, thanks ;)

PS: Ah... My native language is the Russian, so sorry me for a some number of mistakes, thanks.

So, it is here:

--------------
へんな な 朝

早朝 は 私のゆめ が ふかい でじた。私 は たぶん ふしぎのゆめ を 見ました。 とつぜん、はっ きり からすなき を ききました。からすなき は とても 大きい でした から 私 は おどろいて  おきました。私 は「この 朝 は 毎朝 ではありません」を おもいました。七時五分 くらい でした。 からす は まどに すわりました そして、小さくて くろい めで 私に みました。「かあ・かあ と  かあ・かあ」と なきました。私 は ベッドに たちました そして からす は とんで た ちました。
あの 日 は 私 が 朝 から よる まで とても いそがしい 人 でした。よくて すてき な 日  でした。 でも、からす は 私 に せわすました ね。
-------------

Best regards for All!
Cryon is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old Mar 10, 2004, 18:36   #2
PaulTB
Manga Psychic
 
PaulTB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 22, 2004
Posts: 2,111
PaulTB has disabled reputation
Residing in Male
I suggest that you do away with the spaces.
It could do with a few more kanji - but I guess you don't know that many yet.
> へんなな朝

Too many な's

> 早朝は私のゆめがふかいでじた。

Is that
不快 【ふかい】 (adj-na,n) unpleasant; displeasure; discomfort; (P)
or
深い 【ふかい】 (adj) deep; profound; thick; close; (P)
?
If the latter then it should have been
深かったです not 深いでじた

> 私はたぶんふしぎのゆめを見ました。 

That should be 不思議な夢 not 不思議の夢

> とつぜん、はっきりからすなき を ききました。
> からすなきはとても大きいでしたから 

Again that should be 大きかったです not 大きかったです

> 私はおどろいておきました。

That's your third 私 already. You really should cut down on them.

> 私は「この朝は毎朝ではありません」をおもいました。

I don't think that works. I suggest この朝はのような朝.
Note that when thinking, quoting etc usually the plain form
is used. (e.g. この朝はのような朝ではない). Also it should be
と思いました not を思いました

> 七時五分くらいでした。

Typically Japanese would write 7時5分 there.

> からすはまどにすわりました

Not sure you can すわる in a まど. Maybe 窓際 (まどぎわ)
Need a 。 at the end there.

> そして、小さくてくろいめで私にみました。
> 「かあ・かあとかあかあ」となきました。

I don't think からす's なく 「と」

> 私はベッドにたちました

Need a 。 there.

> そしてからすはとんでたちました。

The からす flew and what?

> あの日は私が朝からよるまでとてもいそがしい人でした。
> よくてすてきな日でした。
>でも、からすは私にせわすましたね。

No idea what せわすました is supposed to be.
PaulTB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 11, 2004, 15:00   #3
Elizabeth
Regular Member
 
Elizabeth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 22, 2003
Location: アメリカ
Posts: 8,505
Elizabeth has disabled reputation
Residing in United States Female
Originally Posted by PaulTB
私は「この朝は毎朝ではありません」をおもいました。

I don't think that works. I suggest この朝はのような朝.
「この朝はのような朝」という文も、意味を成さないんけどね。Cryonさんは「この朝は普通の朝ではない 」という意味になりたかったのでしょう?  
__________________
たとえ辛くても、永遠に続く苦しみなどないでしょう。
Elizabeth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 11, 2004, 16:02   #4
PaulTB
Manga Psychic
 
PaulTB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 22, 2004
Posts: 2,111
PaulTB has disabled reputation
Residing in Male
Originally Posted by Elizabeth
「この朝はのような朝」という文も、意味を成さないんけどね。
Sure doesn't. That was a typo - the は shouldn't be there (it was left over from a careless cut-and-paste).
PaulTB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 11, 2004, 16:47   #5
Cryon
Junior Member
 
Cryon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 9, 2004
Posts: 2
Cryon is quite nice
Residing in
Originally Posted by PaulTB
I suggest that you do away with the spaces.
It could do with a few more kanji - but I guess you don't know that many yet.
spkiped....
どうもありがとう。
OK, I understood, I will work at self-improvement ;)
Cryon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 12, 2004, 05:24   #6
Elizabeth
Regular Member
 
Elizabeth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 22, 2003
Location: アメリカ
Posts: 8,505
Elizabeth has disabled reputation
Residing in United States Female
Originally Posted by PaulTB
Sure doesn't. That was a typo - the は shouldn't be there (it was left over from a careless cut-and-paste).
Even without the "wa" I don't entirely understand this sentence. Perhaps it is one of those things that needs to be read in context though....
Elizabeth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 12, 2004, 06:43   #7
PaulTB
Manga Psychic
 
PaulTB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 22, 2004
Posts: 2,111
PaulTB has disabled reputation
Residing in Male
Originally Posted by Elizabeth
Even without the "wa" I don't entirely understand this sentence.
Oops. I really should read what I write.
That was supposed to be 毎朝のような朝
PaulTB is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Yakuza Recession thomas Society & Gender 4 Feb 13, 2009 09:18
Christianity in Japan berean_315 Religion in Japan 104 Dec 22, 2008 10:23
An Invasion Not Found in the History Books lineartube History & Traditions 17 Apr 28, 2004 06:14
Japanese Sword Q & A Mandylion History & Traditions 0 Mar 14, 2004 14:45
ARTICLE: Bulletin of Concerned Asian Scholars thomas Comfort Women 0 Jan 27, 2001 16:00


All times are GMT +9. The time now is 09:47.



JREF Features
More JREF
Webmasters
Hosted Websites


vBulletin 3.8.3 Copyright © Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
About - Contact - Sitemap - Help - Privacy Statement - Terms of Use - Advertising
Copyright © 1999-2009 Japan Reference All Rights Reserved