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Foreign students entering Japanese Junior High

So, your husband teaches physics. Is he looking for that type of job, too, or some sort of laboratory-based work? Yes, Sapporo will be more target-rich than Tomakomai, but that's not all that bad. Commuting by car or train is about an hour each way.
He has been looking for anything related to his field but so far he had no luck at all. There's no telling when he will be able to find something. In the worst case scenario, my daughter and I will be there and he will remain in the US for who knows how long. It's nerve-wrecking...
 
These links are very scary, Mike! Teachers physically abusing the kids?? I am pertified now and wondering if this is a good idea for us to go. I know there are no school scouncelors in Japan. What do parents normally do if anything like that happens?
sorry, I meant to say "no school councelors"
 
Hi everyone,
I wanted to thank you all so much for your valuable advice! We have contacted the city office about the situation. The lady my husband spoke to was very nice but unsure if they could help with Japanese. She asked what the child's native language was and when we said English, she sounded a bit more relieved saying something along the lines of "nan-toka shimasu". She said she would need to contact someone else and get back to us. Fingers crossed... I hope I am not expecting too much though, I don't know. I am just hoping something will work out.
A friend of mine had another idea - she is thinking maybe we could look for a couple of high school girls who are interested in helping my daughter with Japanese in exchange for her helping them with their English. Or maybe finding a retired former teacher who is bored. I have no idea how we would do that though. Does anyone happen to know if this would even be possible?
 
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These links are very scary, Mike! Teachers physically abusing the kids?? I am pertified now and wondering if this is a good idea for us to go. I know there are no school scouncelors in Japan. What do parents normally do if anything like that happens?

It normally doesn't happen. It is so uncommon that it need not be a concern.

The point is that one should take the "schools are proactive" nonsense with a grain of salt. I emphasized to my children that they didn't have to take sh!t off of anybody, student or teacher, and that if they had the slightest inkling they were being treated unfairly or unjustly they were to bring it my attention and I would go to bat for them. Two kids all the way through from elementary school through high school and nothing ever came up. All that is necessary is for your child to be clear on the fact that you are her number one advocate and ally
 
Two kids all the way through from elementary school through high school and nothing ever came up. All that is necessary is for your child to be clear on the fact that you are her number one advocate and ally

Thank you Mike! Yes, she knows that.

I've heard that there's very little parent teacher communication in Japan compared to the US. Do you agree? Are the teachers usually available to discuss any issues that might come up (either is person or by email/phone) or is it difficult to get in touch with them when needed? I keep hearing about very long hours Japanese teachers work compared to other places but I am not sure why that is. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
 
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For what it's worth, I've been here almost 20 years. My son is 14 and has gone to public school. Neither he nor the children of any of my colleagues has ever said one word to me about any sort of bullying, whether in a small town or big city.

A friend of mine had another idea - she is thinking maybe we could look for a couple of high school girls who are interested in helping my daughter with Japanese in exchange for her helping them with their English. Or maybe finding a retired former teacher who is bored.
You're likely not going to find a bored teacher, retired or otherwise, who will teach Japanese for free, so that will be an added cost. The only HS kids who could help would likely be returnees, IMO. I've taught a couple myself, and most are very self-conscious about their English, to the point of not wanting to be ostracized by their classmates (who have poor English). Wait and see what the school offers.

Schools don't have counselors, but the homeroom teachers serve that purpose, believe it or not. They are the surrogate parents and try to get very close to the kids. It's a real hand-holding society here (which is one reason why kids have problems in English classes in university, where they are actually expected to do things for themselves). Just before an academic year starts, teachers from 2 years get together and go over what to expect from students. They tell the ones who get kids from the previous year who is naughty and nice, who is dating whom (really!), who needs extra help, who is socially introverted, how to handle the physically handicapped, etc. Very mother hen-ish, and surprisingly almost a breach of personal privacy, but that's what they did in my school.

As for your husband, what sort of physics field is he in?

Also, have you checked with your current school to see whether they'd accept credits from a Japanese school, or whether the Tomakomai school will even offer them? If they don't, it might sound defeating to your daughter to have to return to the US and repeat 2 years. A friend of mine suggested homeschooling instead. There's also the option of making an hour or so commute to Sapporo so she can attend the international school there.
 
For what it's worth, I've been here almost 20 years. My son is 14 and has gone to public school. Neither he nor the children of any of my colleagues has ever said one word to me about any sort of bullying, whether in a small town or big city.

You're likely not going to find a bored teacher, retired or otherwise, who will teach Japanese for free, so that will be an added cost. The only HS kids who could help would likely be returnees, IMO. I've taught a couple myself, and most are very self-conscious about their English, to the point of not wanting to be ostracized by their classmates (who have poor English). Wait and see what the school offers.

Schools don't have counselors, but the homeroom teachers serve that purpose, believe it or not. They are the surrogate parents and try to get very close to the kids. It's a real hand-holding society here (which is one reason why kids have problems in English classes in university, where they are actually expected to do things for themselves). Just before an academic year starts, teachers from 2 years get together and go over what to expect from students. They tell the ones who get kids from the previous year who is naughty and nice, who is dating whom (really!), who needs extra help, who is socially introverted, how to handle the physically handicapped, etc. Very mother hen-ish, and surprisingly almost a breach of personal privacy, but that's what they did in my school.

As for your husband, what sort of physics field is he in?

Also, have you checked with your current school to see whether they'd accept credits from a Japanese school, or whether the Tomakomai school will even offer them? If they don't, it might sound defeating to your daughter to have to return to the US and repeat 2 years. A friend of mine suggested homeschooling instead. There's also the option of making an hour or so commute to Sapporo so she can attend the international school there.

Hi Glenski,

Thank you so much for your comments! I don't think we can afford the international school, plus the commute would actually be closer to 2 hours (train+subway or bus) so that's 4 hours a day.
As for homeschooling, I think she has to be enrolled in school in Japan anyway because she is a Japanese citizen. Homeschooling with the US curriculum in addition to (but not instead of) Japanese would be very tough, timewise. We are thinking that time could be better spent learning Japanese. And then there's the social aspect of homeschooling, of lack thereof in this case. We are hoping she would be able to make friends at school, which would help both with the language and the transition.

Right now, she is an 8th grader here. In Japan, she wouldn't start 8th grade until April. If we were to come back here at some point for high school, I think she would have to repeat one year. Why do you think she would have to repeat two? Sorry, maybe I am missing something. Could you please let me know why you think she would have to repeat 2 years? Thanks again!
 
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Something I've been assuming but have realized I should have asked....

Have you ever lived in Japan before? Or will this be your first time?
 
Something I've been assuming but have realized I should have asked....

Have you ever lived in Japan before? Or will this be your first time?

Over 20 years ago, and only for a short time. This will basically be the first time living there long term, and with a kid.
 
You're likely not going to find a bored teacher, retired or otherwise, who will teach Japanese for free, so that will be an added cost. The only HS kids who could help would likely be returnees, IMO. I've taught a couple myself, and most are very self-conscious about their English, to the point of not wanting to be ostracized by their classmates (who have poor English). Wait and see what the school offers.
I didn't mean a free lesson -- I was just wondering who might be available/willing to teach Japanese. We would pay for tutoring of course, we just have no idea who could possibly help her with Japanese in the afternoon or on the weekends (hence the retired teacher idea...). Does anyone have any suggestions on how/where we could find a tutor in Tomakomai? There aren't any Japanese language schools over there - it's a pretty small city - and driving to Sapporo after school is not an option either. I know they have a Kumon but I believe it's only for math and kanji drills, is that correct?
 
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Thank you so much for the link! It seems like all of their classes are scheduled during school hours but I will call them anyway. Thanks again for your help!

Read the bold text beneath the table.

Notice that they have at least one qualified instructor, which is better than stuff run by well-intentioned volunteers. You may be able to hire the qualified instructor to come to your home.
 
I don't think we can afford the international school, plus the commute would actually be closer to 2 hours (train+subway or bus) so that's 4 hours a day.
My wife used to commute 1.5 hours each way. Don't get hung up over that much time. Kids are used to it. The entire populace thrives on a "gaman" (endure it) mantra.

As for homeschooling, I think she has to be enrolled in school in Japan anyway because she is a Japanese citizen.
Plenty of Japanese homeschool despite the law. My coworker does it with his 4 kids. I honestly don't know how people get away from the law on this. Keep in mind that your daughter is currently not a resident. That might be in her favor if you ever did want to homeschool.

We are thinking that time could be better spent learning Japanese.
Why couldn't you include it in homeschool curriculum? (answer: no reason, providing you find a teacher)

And then there's the social aspect of homeschooling, of lack thereof in this case.
Oh, I agree! I hope you don't get the notion I'm pushing for homeschooling. I just see it as a possibility, and one to save money perhaps. My chief gripe about homeschooling is its lack of socialization with other classmates.

Right now, she is an 8th grader here. In Japan, she wouldn't start 8th grade until April. If we were to come back here at some point for high school, I think she would have to repeat one year. Why do you think she would have to repeat two?
I got the impression you were going to start this April and stay for 2 years. You did write this after all:
  • a family situation has come up that might require us to relocate to Japan and live with her grandparents in Tomakomai for at least a couple of years.
  • My father-in-law's health has deteriorated recently, which is the main reason why we want to go there now
  • We are trying to figure out if we can come as soon as possible.
  • he [your husband] also has to teach and the semester has already started. He will have to stay here at least until June.
 
Yes, but IMO that may not be the best stance on bullying. There are many factors involved in Japan in bullying, and in the results of bullying.

Kids are resilient-sounds like "tough it out"

Dear god no. Bullying needs to be dealt with proactively through all the proactive actions discussed.
Virtually every child and adult experiences bullying and with appropriate focus we get through it unscathed.
Parents who are engagedwith their kids, particularly wrt to social media, are the best innoculation against it.

Learning to deal with bullying is an important life lesson for children as bullying never stops. You can see it in the workplace and on forums where grubs are always up for a fight, always after the gotcha moment, always putting down not lifting up.
Having the tools to deal with this is a needed skill.

Cheers.
 
Thank you so much, Marley's Ghost! It helps a lot. I do have a full plate of things to worry about. My daughter is very mature for her age and knows how to stay away from drama. I just can't stop thinking if this would be too much for any 13 year old. I have no idea, and she is my only child. My biggest fear is that I will ruin my I daughter's life by uprooting her at this age. At the same time, I feel this could be a great experience for her and a chance to learn Japanese. I am the one who is scared the most, I think.
I just can't stop thinking if this would be too much for any 13 year old. I have no idea, and she is my only child. My biggest fear is that I will ruin my I daughter's life by uprooting her at this age. At the same time, I feel this could be a great experience for her and a chance to learn Japanese. I am the one who is scared the most, I think.

Your daughter sounds like she will be fine. Our family hosts students from OS and they generally handle it well over the 10 months they are with us.
Life is an adventure. I would suggest you are providing your daughter with a fantastic opportunity.
I would engage with your current school to obtain the curriculum for the time you are away so she can keep current.
What does your daughter have to say about it? You may be worrying for no reason. I know that of our four kids three could deal with the change in their stride.
Have fun.
 
Your daughter sounds like she will be fine. Our family hosts students from OS and they generally handle it well over the 10 months they are with us.
Life is an adventure. I would suggest you are providing your daughter with a fantastic opportunity.
I would engage with your current school to obtain the curriculum for the time you are away so she can keep current.
What does your daughter have to say about it? You may be worrying for no reason. I know that of our four kids three could deal with the change in their stride.
Have fun.
Thank you for the encouragement, Shibui! I really appreciate it. Yes, I also hope this would be a great opportunity for her.
My daughter's main concern is the language, of course. I am also curious about the students you host - do they come to Japan for high school? How much does their Japanese improve in 10 months? I am assuming they come with no Japanese either. Thanks again!
 
Thank you Gelnski! I guess this is what I was thinking -- if we go for two years, she will finish 8th grade in Japan and will come back to 9th grade here (high school). In other words, she would only be held back 1 year.
 
Thank you Gelnski! I guess this is what I was thinking -- if we go for two years, she will finish 8th grade in Japan and will come back to 9th grade here (high school). In other words, she would only be held back 1 year.
Depending on your state of residence, and if you maintain residence there, you might qualify for free virtual US schooling for your daughter. Something to consider if you want to maintain her academic advancement.
 
I've heard that there's very little parent-teacher communication in Japan compared to the US. Do you agree? Are the teachers usually available to discuss any issues that might come up (either in a person or by email/phone) or is it difficult to get in touch with them when needed? I keep hearing about very long hours Japanese teachers work compared to other places but I am not sure why that is. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Japanese teachers, especially JHS teachers work crazy hours. OECD survey: Japan's teachers work more hours but teach fewer:The Asahi Shimbun. That said, I'm not sure if that translates into problems getting in touch or discussing things. You might just have to take a number and wait your turn. I quite often see parents stopping and being ushered into the small meeting room for whatever while I'm at work. (I'm a JHS ALT.) Every year, there is a 3 day period (I think it's about 3 days) when each homeroom teacher visits the homes and talks to the parents or guardians of each and every student in their class. That can mean visiting 40+ homes and having to drink a lot of tea. Every term there will be a morning of observation lessons when the parents can stand in the back of the class and watch the lessons. There are parent-teacher meetings and parent-student-teacher meetings, in short lots of opportunities to see what is going on at school and talk to people.

The very little parent-teacher communication you've heard about might be attributed to the....how to describe it.....formal distance between teachers and the rest of society? I mean, they even call me "sensei", and all I do for a living is trick children into communicating in a foreign language by playing games with them. Japanese teachers and the schools, for whatever reason, have a greater role, a more explicit and formal role, in molding children into productive, ethical and moral members of society than schools do in the States. There is a cultural understanding (for better or worse) that school is school and the parents are turning their children over to the schools to temper and polish and make fit for society. Once the kids put their uniforms on, they become students and become the schools' responsibility.

You have to remember that all "communication", not just "parent/teacher" over here will come in a different flavor than you might be used to. Things are a bit more formal, appearances are more important, things are done in the background and slowly so as to not cause a fuss.

In short, if you call the school, someone will do something to try and help you. How timely or useful help will be will depend on the school. But speaking from my experience, they will try. Like the bullying, not something I'd be overly worried about. But like everything from grocery shopping to dealing with city hall, language and cultural barriers will make it more difficult
 
Thank you for the encouragement, Shibui! I really appreciate it. Yes, I also hope this would be a great opportunity for her.
My daughter's main concern is the language, of course. I am also curious about the students you host - do they come to Japan for high school? How much does their Japanese improve in 10 months? I am assuming they come with no Japanese either. Thanks again!

HI Emily

We host Japanese kids in Australia. Their language skills tend to be functional when they arrive, despite passing the required English language tests in Japan, but rapidly increase over a few months to being much more fluent.

So though my experience is 180degrees to yours I am always amazed at how well kids fit in to a new environment.

have fun!
 
So though my experience is 180degrees to yours I am always amazed at how well kids fit in to a new environment.

have fun!
Thanks again, Shibui! That's so true, and kids are are very resilient. But I wonder if it's a lot easier for kids to fit into a new school environment in the US or Australia than in Japan. English is easier to learn, there aren't so many school rules, there are remedial classes for kids who don't speak English, etc. My friend's kids went to school in the US for a year, and all they talked about how much more fun their American school was. Japanese schools are fun too, right?
 
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Cheers.[/QUOTE]
It normally doesn't happen. It is so uncommon that it need not be a concern.

The point is that one should take the "schools are proactive" nonsense with a grain of salt. I emphasized to my children that they didn't have to take sh!t off of anybody, student or teacher, and that if they had the slightest inkling they were being treated unfairly or unjustly they were to bring it my attention and I would go to bat for them. Two kids all the way through from elementary school through high school and nothing ever came up. All that is necessary is for your child to be clear on the fact that you are her number one advocate and ally

Mike, I am willing to take ownership of that statement - since it was mine. It was however, prefaced by, in my experience. My experience is from having dealt with several cases of bullying (PTA and Kodomo-kai, and other parent support group). I have seen bullying at nursery school level up to Junior High School (not with my kids who have not had any problems).

I agree with you in that:
"All that is necessary is for your child to be clear on the fact that you are her number one advocate and ally"

But most parents are not probably aware that there is bullying going on in their schools. AGAIN, in my experience (and I think my experience is representative of my part of Japan - to OP not Hokkaido) schools and teacher are very proactive. And in my experience once bullying has been identified the teacher work very hard to resolve the matter.

I do agree that there are some terrible cases of bullying in Japan which make the headline, but these cases are not reflective of my experiences in schools as an active parent involved in student support, PTA etc.

I further agree with your implication that the parents have to make sure their child is aware that they will be supported. IMO, one of the big issues of bullying is that it can be a very shaming expense for the children and they often try to hide it form their parents, somehow thinking that they were to blame. Sadly, some cases are unknown until they result in tragedy.

Cheers
 
Two points:

1. Without even counting I would bet the number of schools involved in the cases which end up making the news is easily far greater than the number of schools with which any of us have direct personal experience.

2. The things I mentioned earlier....teachers/schools being informed of a problem but taking no action, boards of education engaging in denial or hiding evidence, and meaningless slap on the wrist consequences are all elements that one encounters in news reports about ijime and lawsuits resulting from ijime....these are common, recurring themes. They featured prominently in the stories I linked. Yes, there are tragic cases where nobody knew, the greater problem is that there are tragic cases where people knew and didn't do a damned thing until it was CYA time.
 
Cheers.

Tomoni, may I ask where your sons go to school? Are you in Hokkaido? These nightmare stories and links are making me pretty uneasy. Does it depend on where you are? More bulling in larger cities/urban schools, for example?

Are there any other safety issue that I should be thinking about? I know there are no school buses and parents don't drive kids to school either. Is walking/taking a public bus safe? Would my daughter be OK walking alone? The other day we were talking about how she could take the bus, and she was worried. I am starting to get cold feet. I know Japan is much safer than the US but still. How safe a 13 year old girl with no Japanese language be? Any advice?

I live in the southern part of Japan in a relatively speaking rural area (rural city).


I have boys, and so my biggest worry has always traffic accidents. Traffic density is quite high and there are some careless drivers.

There are usually no school buses (except for private schools). In general, public transportation is safe and reliable (in bigger crowded areas you may need to be concerned about subway gropers and the like).

I think a 13-year-old with no language skill would be as safe as any 13-year-old girl. The only thing is that she might stand out and be selected as a target by a pervert for that reason. I would suggest that you listen more to people with girls to get a better take.

So I am reluctant to give advice on this.
 
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